Copyright © 2024 by Dave Henderson

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, email the publisher, subject line "Attention: Permissions Coordinator," at iwriteromanceforyou@gmail.com.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Design by Creative Paramita

Edited by Samantha Kisa of Samantha Jayne Proofreading

Interior Design and Formatting by LRS Publishing

Printed in USA

First Edition: October, 2024

ISBN: 979-8-33759-427-9

Visit the author's website at:

https://www.davehenderson.love

The Pacific Edge Series

Tides of the Heart

Guardians of the Heart

Flames of the Heart

Trials of the Heart

To Peter, the love of my life and my constant inspiration for 35 incredible years. You’re my partner in crime, my biggest supporter, and the man who fills my world with laughter and joy. Every day with you is a blessing, and this book reflects the love and adventure we’ve shared. Thank you for being the most amazing person I’ve ever known—this is for us, with all my heart.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Prologue

Alex shifted in the chair, his broad, muscular frame feeling out of place in Dr. Martin’s small, rigid office space. The chair pressed uncomfortably against his thighs, a subtle reminder of how his military-honed physique was often at odds with civilian life. He tried to adjust, seeking comfort, but the chair resisted, holding him in an awkward embrace.

Dr. Martin watched him, noting the stiffness in his posture and the way his eyes darted around the room, avoiding contact. It was their first session, and Alex’s anxiety was palpable. Two previous therapists had failed to break through his walls, leaving him wary and skeptical. The memories of those unproductive sessions weighed heavily on his mind, making him question if this would be any different. The tension in his muscles betrayed his nervousness, and the relentless tapping of his foot revealed his underlying impatience and doubt.

"Can I get you anything to drink, Alex?" Dr. Martin asked, trying to break the ice.

"No, no, thank you," Alex replied, his voice neutral with an undercurrent of wariness.

The office was calming, with walls painted a soothing shade of blue reminiscent of a clear sky. A large window offered a view of distant forested hills. Bookshelves lined one wall, each filled with an eclectic mix of psychology texts and classic literature. But Alex's gaze returned to the chair as he lowered his face—to the physical reminder of his discomfort.

Dr. Martin leaned forward, his hands clasped together. "I know this isn't easy, Alex, but I'm here to help. We don't have to dive into anything you're not ready for. Today, let's talk and get to know each other. How does that sound?"

Alex looked at him then, and there was a flicker of something like pleading in his eyes, but it was quickly veiled. The session might not uncover any profound truths today, but it was a start. A small step toward healing.

His gaze drifted over the room again, taking in the blend of professionalism and warmth that Dr. Martin had cultivated. Dr. Martin had adorned the walls with certificates and awards, testifying to his expertise. Below them, an unlit fireplace added a touch of homeliness, its mantle decorated with personal mementos.

To his right, a small table held an array of magazines and a vase of fresh flowers, their scent subtly permeating the room. Beside the table were armchairs that, despite their cozy appearance, seemed no more inviting to him than his current seat. The room was comforting, yet Alex couldn't shake off the feeling of confinement, the chair's arms still pressing against him.

He drew a deep breath, trying to redirect his focus toward Dr. Martin. Despite the physical discomfort, the room's calm ambiance offered a sliver of reassurance. It was a place where he could, perhaps, begin to unpack the burdens he carried.

Dr. Martin reached for his tablet on the low table and opened it. "How can I help you?" he asked, his voice calm and inviting.

Alex's eyes briefly followed the movement of the tablet. He shifted again in the chair. Meeting Dr. Martin's gaze, he started to open up. "I moved to Brookings three weeks ago. My aunt... she strongly encouraged me to make this appointment. She believes you can help. Back in Des Moines, you worked with vets with PTSD for over 20 years, right?" His voice wavered slightly, a mix of reluctance and hope in his tone.

The conversation was a start, an opening for Alex to explore and address the experiences that had shaped him in a space that promised understanding and support.

Dr. Martin responded with a nod. "Yes, I've worked extensively with veterans, both in the VA and privately. I personalize my approach, focusing on the unique experiences and traumas each individual has faced. The aim is to help you manage and understand your trauma, moving toward a place of acceptance."

Alex leaned back, his expression a mix of frustration and hope. "I've seen therapists in the VA, tried cognitive-behavioral therapy, and even prolonged exposure therapy. It felt endless, and I didn't see any actual change. Sleep is a battle for me. I'm physically exhausted, but my mind stays alert. Every little noise jolts me awake, and then I can't settle back down."

"Sleep issues are a common symptom of PTSD, and they can be incredibly disruptive,” Dr. Martin replied, understanding in his tone. “It seems like your mind is always on guard, which makes restful sleep elusive." He paused. "There are different approaches we can take, Alex. Beyond therapy, we can explore various relaxation techniques and look into your medication history for alternatives. I prefer to reserve medication as a last resort."

Alex looked up, a flicker of determination in his eyes. "That's exactly why my Aunt Lynn recommended you. She knew my frustration with the VA's approach of prescribing one medication after another. I used to handle stress well, Doc. I've seen some of my brothers-in-arms turn to drugs or alcohol to cope with their PTSD, and it never ended well. I don't want to go down that path."

Sitting up straighter, he continued, "I've tried all sorts of relaxation techniques, too. Yoga wasn't for me–I'm 6'3", built solid, and sitting in those pretzel poses made me look like a malfunctioning action figure. The instructor kept asking if I was stuck and needed help unwinding. I've experimented with both cold and hot showers, and I've taken so many deep breaths that I get annoyed when someone suggests it now. Finding relaxation doesn't come easy for me."

Setting his tablet aside, Dr. Martin leaned forward, his tone earnest. "I'll explore some alternative relaxation methods for you, Alex. I'll look for techniques you haven't tried yet, ones that might work better for your situation."

Alex reclined slightly, his gaze drifting to the medical certificates on the wall. "Doc, I'm open to anything. I just... I've been through three therapists in two years. I don't want to go through the same starting routine again. You know, the standard PTSD playbook."

Dr. Martin offered a reassuring smile. “I understand, Alex. I tailor my approach to you as an individual, not just your PTSD diagnosis. We'll find what works best for you.”

For the first time, a faint smile flickered across Alex's face, a sign of his guard lowering. A small but meaningful step forward.

"Let's take it one step at a time," Dr. Martin suggested gently. "Getting some restful sleep would be a significant starting point. We'll address each challenge as it comes."

Alex took a deep breath, his gaze momentarily lost in the view outside the window. The room fell into a brief, contemplative silence.

Dr. Martin's voice was calm as he broached a sensitive subject. "Alex, during our intake call, you told me that your unit was ambushed. You were in Helmand Province, on a reconnaissance mission, right?"

Alex nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, Helmand... a Taliban stronghold. We thought it was just another patrol, but there's no such thing as 'routine' in a war zone."

His jaw clenched and his shoulders tensed  .

"What happened that day?"

Alex's eyes seemed to look through the walls, back to a time and place far away. "We were ordered to scout a suspected insurgent hideout. The intelligence was clear: no IEDs, minimal enemy activity. We advanced at dawn, navigating the rough terrain. I was leading, with my captain just behind me." His voice trailed off, heavy with the weight of unspoken memories.

"Out of nowhere, an RPG screamed overhead, crashing into the hillside. Gunfire followed, bursting from hidden positions. It was an ambush, and they had the upper hand. We were vulnerable in that area."

Alex’s hands started to tremble. "What happened next?" Dr. Martin asked.

"Pinned down under heavy fire, chaos erupted around us. Our captain... he was hit first, a sniper's bullet. My training took over. I started issuing orders, coordinating our defense, trying desperately to get us out of that death trap. We dragged the captain to a ditch, his blood staining the ground."

Alex's breathing grew labored, his eyes reflecting the torment of the memory. "They outnumbered and outgunned us. My radio man was calling for backup, his voice drowned out by the relentless gunfire. I remember thinking, 'My brothers and I, we're not getting out of this alive.'"

Dr. Martin leaned forward, his presence a steady anchor in the storm of Alex's recollection. "And your injury?"

Alex instinctively touched his side. "A mortar shell detonated close by. Shrapnel tore through me. The pain was intense, but adrenaline pushed me on. I kept shouting, firing, fighting... not just for me, but for my men."

A heavy silence fell as Alex's gaze drifted, lost in the past. "Two of our guys were cut off, isolated. The decision to retreat was agonizing. It was chaos— dust, blood, the cries of the wounded on both sides. It was a living nightmare."

Dr. Martin's voice was soft, yet filled with understanding. "You lost team members that day."

Alex clenched his fists, his voice choked with emotion. "Their faces haunt me every night Doc. We called for Medevac, but for some, it was too late. I keep thinking... could I have done something differently? Could I have saved them?"

Dr. Martin nodded, his empathy palpable. "In such dire situations, every choice carries immense risk. Your bravery and leadership under fire are not signs of failure. Surviving, guiding your team, coping with the aftermath... those are heavy burdens to bear."

The silence in the room was profound, laden with a deep, unspoken grief. Alex's clenched fists gradually uncurled, and he released a wave of sorrow. "Those moments... they're always with me. The gunshots, the explosions, the split-second choices. It's like I'm still there, trying to save everyone."

Dr. Martin adjusted slightly, his voice a blend of compassion and strength. "War imprints itself deeply on those who experience it, Alex. Your actions that day, driven by dedication and bravery, undoubtedly saved lives. The 'what ifs' that follow are an inescapable part of surviving such trauma, but they don't diminish your courage or the dire situation you were in. Recognizing both the loss and the lives you helped save is crucial."

Alex's eyes drifted to the window, his thoughts entangled in a maze of memories and hypothetical scenarios.

Dr. Martin continued. “Our work together is about understanding that while the past is unchangeable, it's possible to reconcile with it, to find inner peace. This journey isn't solely about surviving that day in Afghanistan; it's about rediscovering how to live, to find a new purpose beyond the battlefield."

Tears brimmed in Alex's eyes, Dr. Martin's words resonating deep within him. The burden of that day, the relentless replaying of events, had been his constant companion.

Dr. Martin leaned in, his voice softening further. "It's natural to grieve for what might have been, Alex, but don't let that overshadow the reality of your valor. Your comrades, your family, they see the heroism in your actions. It's time for you to recognize it, too. You're not just a man marked by trauma; you're a survivor, a protector who showed immense strength against overwhelming odds. It's important to acknowledge the bravery and resilience within yourself, not just the loss and the 'what ifs.'"

Alex nodded slowly, his emotions a tumultuous sea. The path to healing was long and arduous, yet, for the first time in years, a flicker of hope pierced the shadowed veil of his mind.

Dr. Martin offered a reassuring smile. "Healing isn't a straight path, Alex. There will be challenges, but remember, you're not walking this path alone. Your support network, including your aunt, is here for you, every step of the way."

Dr. Martin asked. “Alex, tell me about your brothers who were with you that night, who were they…”

Chapter 1

Alex

Four days later, the evening sun dipped below the horizon. It cast a warm, golden glow over Aunt Lynn’s cozy backyard. The aroma of grilled ribeye steaks filled the air. Alex and Aunt Lynn sat at the patio table, savoring each tender, mouthwatering bite.

“Aunt Lynn, you are the grill master, this steak is perfect.”

“Thanks honey, you know I enjoy grilling when you come over. Do you want some more spinach dip? I know it is your favorite.” Reaching over, she moved the tray closer for him to reach.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Alex grabbed a crispy cracker and overloaded the spinach dip onto it using a spoon.

“Thanks for recommending Dr. Martin,” Alex began, his voice steady but soft. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, given my experiences with other therapists.  But this visit was different. I actually felt… lighter after talking to him.”

Aunt Lynn looked up, her eyes were warm with encouragement but she remained silent, letting him continue.

Alex took a sip of peach tea, his gaze drifting to the trees swaying gently in the evening breeze. "I’ve been to three different therapists, and none of them really worked out," he continued, his voice tinged with frustration. "It always felt like they were just ticking boxes, going through the motions. I’d leave their offices feeling more frustrated and misunderstood, like they just didn’t get it."

Aunt Lynn nodded, her expression one of empathetic understanding. She reached over, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before returning to her meal.

"With Dr. Martin," Alex continued, "he actually got me to open up. He didn't rush me or try to push his own agenda. He just... listened. He made me realize that I need to stop trying to white-knuckle everything on my own."

Aunt Lynn’s eyes sparkled with pride, but she still didn’t interrupt, knowing I needed this moment to express myself.

"I’ve been so wary of therapy," Alex admitted, his voice vulnerable. "After three failures, it’s hard to trust. But something about Dr. Martin felt different. He didn’t just see my trauma, and didn’t automatically go to his prescription pad. He saw me, and that makes a difference."

Aunt Lynn finally spoke, her tone gentle. "I’m glad to hear that, Alex. Sometimes it just takes finding the right person who understands you. I'm proud of you for not giving up on yourself."

Alex smiled, feeling a sense of relief and gratitude. "I love you, Aunt Lynn. Thanks for not giving up on me. Your support means everything. I don’t think I would have gone if it weren’t for you pushing me."

She smiled back, her eyes misty with emotion. "I’ll always be here for you, Alex. No matter what, and I don’t push.  I suggest with a lot of enthusiasm."

“You’ve always been there for me. All through my childhood, when I came out, even when I joined the military.  Do you remember that meeting when you and Mom met my recruiter when I was seventeen? You made a soldier cry.” Alex laughed.

“I did not!” Aunt Lynn replied.

“You said, and I quote.” Alex holds up his hands and makes air quotes. “You, Sir, are a no-neck Neanderthal who wouldn’t know how to defend his country, let alone meet a monthly quota of harvesting children away from their families.”

“Alexander Michael Bennett, you know I hate it when you misquote me, I said no-neck dumbass neanderthal.” Aunt Lynn replied with a smile.

Laughter filled the backyard. They enjoyed the last bites and cleared their plates. Then, they lingered over their glasses of peach tea, engaging in a lively exchange of witty banter.

After their meal, they walked to the front of the house and stood in the driveway.

“Goodnight, Alex. Promise me you will call me when you get home.” She stood on her tiptoes to give him a hug.

Alex chuckled, shaking his head. “You know, I’m 32 years old. I’ve been to a war zone and can bench press your Mazda. I can find my way home safe, Aunt Lynn.”

Aunt Lynn tightened her hold on his massive shoulders. She laughed. “I know you can, honey,” she whispered, her words filled with love. “But humor me so I’m not up all night worrying about whether you’re okay, won’t you?”

Alex groaned like a teenager asked to take out the trash during a Halo match. “You win. I’ll call you when I get home. Thanks for dinner, it was amazing.” He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her back before heading to his truck.

Alex climbed into his truck, the familiar rumble of the engine a slight comfort against the weight pressing down on his chest. He glanced back at Aunt Lynn’s house, its warm lights glowing in the distance, before pulling away from the curb. The effort of maintaining a cheerful facade during dinner had drained him, leaving him feeling hollow and exhausted. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to shake off the lingering weariness.

The drive home was a solitary journey through the quiet, winding roads of Brookings. The streetlights cast long, flickering shadows across the pavement, and the hum of the tires on the asphalt provided a monotonous background noise. Alex’s mind replayed the evening’s events, analyzing every forced smile and rehearsed laugh. He had tried so hard to keep Aunt Lynn from worrying, crafting a performance of normalcy that left him feeling even more isolated.

His thoughts wandered back to his conversation about Dr. Martin. The therapist had been different, somehow—more attuned to the depths of his pain. Yet, the relief he had felt in Dr. Martin’s office was already fading, replaced by the familiar cloak of sadness and anxiety that seemed to suffocate him. Alex’s PTSD was a relentless companion, gnawing at the edges of his mind.

You don’t deserve peace, you don’t deserve to feel whole.

As he drove, the trees lining the road blurred into indistinct shapes. The soothing rhythm of the drive did little to ease the turmoil within him. He had spent the evening putting on a show, pretending to be okay, but now, alone in the truck, the facade crumbled. The act was exhausting, and he longed for the solitude of his new house, where he could strip away the pretense and simply be.

If she knew how fucked up you are, she would never have asked you to move here.

Every interaction with others was a constant effort, a battle to keep his true feelings hidden. He felt like an impostor in his own skin, a stranger to the man he used to be. The burden of his trauma weighed heavily on him, making every moment a struggle. His smile, that practiced, hollow smile, was just another mask he wore to shield those he cared about from his internal torment.

The truck’s headlights pierced through the darkness, illuminating the road ahead. Alex tried to focus on the drive, on the mundane task of getting home, but his mind kept drifting back to the emptiness he felt. Being around people was a constant act, and now, free from the performance, he just wanted to be alone. Alone, he could let his guard down, let the mask fall away. Alone, he could succumb to the quiet despair that had become his unwanted companion.

You should have died that day too.

As he approached his house, Alex felt a sense of relief mingled with a heavy sadness. He pulled into the driveway, turned off the engine, and sat there for a moment, the silence enveloping him. The effort of the evening washed over him like a tidal wave, and he took a deep breath, bracing himself for another lonely night.

You deserve to be alone.

As he made his way inside, the weight of his struggles pressed down on him with each step.

Alex dialed her cell as promised. Hearing her voice on the other end of the line did not bring him any solace as he forced his smile into the conversation. She ended their call the same way she ended every late call with him, “goodnight and sweet dreams.” Alex was grateful for her kindness, but sweet dreams had eluded him for two years. He doubted they would come to him tonight.

Alex stepped out of his truck, his senses immediately tuning in to the cool Oregon night air around him. The ocean tides in the distance served as a soothing yet constant reminder. It reminded him of Brookings’ tranquil beauty, but his soldier instincts were always on high alert. He scanned the environment as he moved.

A flicker of movement to his right caught his eye as he walked toward the house. Instinctively, his body tensed, years of training kicking in. He spun to face whatever it was, only to find... nothing. The shadows were cast by the neighborhood lights. The soldier within—remained alert.

He continued up the path, each step cautious. The comforting glow of the house beckoned him forward. He paused when he reached the front door. He rested his hand on the key as he listened to the gentle stir of the night.

He unlocked the door, stepped inside, and headed straight to the kitchen for water. The kitchen was modern and well-equipped, but he had yet to use it to its full potential. He enjoyed cooking and was good at it, but the effort felt too much these days.

As he sipped his water, he glanced at the small collection of photographs he had taped to the fridge. They were reminders of his life before. He and his military brothers were in one photo. Another photo showed him and his parents at basic training graduation. There was a photo of Aunt Lynn. He posed for the last photo the day he joined the army.

It's your fault they died!

His second therapist told him that by placing pictures of his old life on the refrigerator that each time he looked at them, it would help him to feel more at peace with who he was and who he is now.  He did not think it was working.

He moved through the house, turning off lights left on all day by mistake, and made his way to the bedroom. He stopped and paused in front of the mirror atop the dresser, his gaze falling on his reflection. His black hair fell over his forehead, hinting at the need for a trim. Dressed in a crisp white button-down and jeans, his muscular frame dominated the mirror. The shirt strained at the buttons. He took pride in his appearance. He mentally noted to order shirts that fit his growing muscles better. He closed in on the mirror and looked into his eyes. “It’s not your fault. You did the best you could. They know you tried,” he said to his reflection, tears welling up in his eyes. His face appeared more haunting than usual. There were dark circles under his eyes and a sadness that he wished he could hide more. He felt like an impostor posing as the man he once was. 

He undressed and looked at himself in the mirror. He worked hard to maintain his muscle. He used to like the attention that it brought him, but now the attention he got for it seemed like a burden. He didn’t want to make small talk with people at the gym about his biceps or his 320-pound bench presses. He wanted to be alone.

He entered the bathroom and completed his nightly hygiene routine. Then he grabbed a soft pair of gray sweats. He walked barefoot to the back deck and listened to the sounds of the waves hitting the beach. The front of the house was well-lit, but the back of the house was quieter and backlit only. It was just accent lights and was peaceful. He had yet to turn on the hot tub on his deck. He couldn’t wait to relieve the soreness in his muscles. Since the move, he had been too occupied with unpacking and settling in to spare any time.

A subtle movement to his left caught his attention. It jolted him out of his tranquil reverie.

He moved cautiously toward the deck railing, eyes scanning the dimly lit surroundings. His heart rate ticked up, a familiar response to potential threats. But as he peered into the darkness, he saw nothing but the interplay of shadows cast by the night. He let out a slow, controlled breath, trying to ease the tension in his muscles.

“Probably just a raccoon or a possum,” he murmured to himself, trying to dismiss the unwarranted alarm. The wildlife around Brookings was harmless. But his instincts often interpreted any movement as a potential danger.

Soon, the rhythmic sound of the waves in the distance worked its magic. It lulled him back to a serene state. He leaned against the railing, his eyes still watchful, but his body relaxed. The tranquility of the night seeped back into his senses. He found himself lost in the moment, his worries and vigilance slowly fading.

Time seemed to stand still, the peaceful ambiance of the night enveloping him. But then, another rustle from the side yard snapped him back to alertness. His gaze shifted toward the sound, a faint frown creasing his brow.

I hope whatever’s out there stays away from the trash cans.

Alex stood there for a few more moments, allowing the calming influence of the ocean to wash over him once more. Gradually, the tension eased from his body again. He reminded himself that he was home, safe, away from the threats of his past.

With a last look into the night, he returned inside. He tried to feel grateful for the peace his new life in Brookings brought. He knew the transition would be difficult, and the lingering effects of his years in service added to the challenge.

He walked back through the door and locked it. Turning off the remaining lights, he walked through the hallway to the bedroom. He had furnished it with a queen bed, a dresser with a mirror, and two nightstands with a lamp. He needed little. He took off his sweats and glanced at the bed. These days, he struggled to fall asleep. Despite his tiredness, he hoped that tonight would bring a change.

Before lying down, he walked over to the window and pulled it open halfway, letting the sea breeze fill the room. It was a slight comfort, a connection to something constant and unchanging.

He climbed into bed, then stared at the ceiling. His mind replayed the day’s events. The sound of waves in the distance lulled him as he drifted off to sleep.

Alex’s world plunged into chaos in the restless depths of the night. The haunting specters of his past came alive in his dreams. He was back in Afghanistan. The unforgiving landscape stretched before him under a harsh sun.

The air was thick with dust and the smell of gunpowder. Captain Harwood led their unit through some rugged terrain. The crumbling houses, boulders of varying sizes, and sparse vegetation offered little cover. Every sense heightened, every sound a potential threat. Alex’s heart pounded in his chest, a relentless drum echoing the rhythm of impending danger.

Then it happened. An explosion shattered the oppressive silence. It was a roar that sent a shockwave through the air. The ground beneath his feet erupted. His right side felt like it was on fire. Thrown backward, he felt his ears ringing and his vision momentarily blur. The gunfire started, and he saw a spatter of blood hit the large rock near where Captain Harwood fell.

He scrambled to his feet, momentarily disoriented. Gunfire rained down from above, and his men were finding cover. They were sitting ducks, ambushed and exposed. His men were returning fire, but it was only a desperate attempt to hold the enemy at bay.

Through the haze of the dust and smoke, Alex saw two of his men behind him taking fire. Patterson and Theo dragged his captain to safety. He lunged forward to their side. Blood was everywhere. The injury to the captain was severe, and Patterson, the unit medic, was working on him.

He began barking orders for Theo to cover Decker and Miles in the back. Several bodies of insurgents started falling from the cliff’s edges above them. He yelled for Decker to radio for help. The battle sounds were so loud he was unsure if Decker heard them.

The pain in his side was incredibly intense, but he ignored it. Blood was seeping out through his uniform, and he felt cold. He knew the other half of his detachment was not far away, but would they be able to make it in time to help them?

Through the haze of dust and smoke, Alex saw Decker get hit, falling to the ground and yelling in pain. The sounds of battle masked his screams, but Alex could see his face and feel his pain. Miles pulled Decker close and continued firing at the enemy. Alex fired his gun at the cliff tops, focusing on the back of his unit. The din of battle drowned out all voices.

The nightmare intensified. Fear and confusion filled the air. Alex watched as Patterson stopped working on Captain Harwood. The unspoken silence between them said it all. Patterson picked up his weapon and started firing at the edges of cliffs above them.

He experienced a sense of helplessness and overwhelming suffocation. Someone hit Miles. His lifeless body now lay beside the rock. Decker was hanging onto him, wounded and still firing back. He was failing them, one by one. He was helpless to watch them. Pain and fear etched their faces. They haunted him. Their eyes asked the unanswerable question: why?

The dream shifted. The scenery became a grotesque montage of blood, dirt, and despair. Faces of his fallen comrades haunted him.

Alex was yelling now, his voice raw with grief and guilt. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” But in this nightmarish world, there was no forgiveness. Only condemnation of his perceived failures.

He continued shouting. He then heard combined sounds of gunfire, scratching wood, barking, and broken glass. His blood-curdling scream startled him back to reality. As suddenly as it began, the nightmare fractured. It disintegrated into a thousand shards of pain and regret.

Alex’s eyes snapped open, his chest heaving, his body drenched in sweat. A scene of terror unfolded before him. A piercing yelp filled the air, echoing with the agony of a large German Shepherd. The dog had shattered through the glass window.

It had black and brown fur covered with blood, and it was sprawled on the floor. Pain wracked its body, and it emitted feeble whimpers. Alex sat up, struggling to orient himself, to separate the nightmare from reality. His heart was racing. His training kicked in. Alex rushed to the injured dog’s side. He grabbed his sweats off the floor. Using the sweats, he pushed away the shards of glass covering the floor leading up to the dog. 

There was a large piece of glass protruding from the dog’s side. Another was on his shoulder. His front left paw was bleeding from the cuts. The dog looked dirty and half-starved. The cries of the dog broke Alex’s heart as it lay there and looked up at him with painful eyes, pleading for help.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Alex said as he looked over the injured dog. The dog began wailing in pain, and as Alex touched his muzzle and head, the dog steadied into a whimper. Alex could feel his heart racing as he evaluated the dogs’ injuries. There was a lot of blood on the dog, on the floor, and Alex’s naked body. Tears welled in his eyes as he used the grey sweats he had worn earlier. He wrapped the dog’s paw with them and placed part of it over the gash on its shoulder.

He reached for his phone on the nightstand, and dialed the first person who came to mind. “Hello?” Aunt Lynn answered groggily, “Alex, is everything all right?”

There was a slight pause on the call, and in a panicked voice, Alex said, “Aunt Lynn, there’s a dog. It jumped through the glass into my bedroom; it’s cut up and hurt badly, so much blood. Is there an Emergency Pet Clinic here in Brookings?”

“There is a clinic, but it isn’t twenty-four hours. But I have my vet’s number. Let me call him and see what he can do. Hang tight, honey; I’ll call you right back.” The haunting sounds and feelings of the dream continued to distract Alex. The blood—why was there so much blood?

Alex was still caressing the dog’s head when he stood and walked over to the dresser. He threw on a pair of black running shorts and looked in the open drawer, hesitating momentarily. Then, he grabbed all his t-shirts out of the drawer. He walked over to the dog lying on the floor and sat beside him. “It’s okay, big fella—I won’t let anything happen to you,” Alex remarked, more to himself than to the dog. He began using the shirts as bandages. He placed two shirts around the glass protruding from the dog. The dog winced and whined in pain, but he seemed to trust Alex, sensing his urgency and care.

As Alex continued to wrap the dogs in t-shirts, he couldn’t help but think back to his dream. He could still see Patterson trying to do the same thing to Captain Harwood’s neck with bandages. He knew he had to clear his mind; now was not the time. Alex had always been quick-thinking and laser-focused in emergencies. Since the ambush, he couldn’t focus when needed. This was different, though; this was a helpless creature needing his assistance, and he would not fail this time.

The dog was about a hundred pounds. He was dirty and smelly and looked like he had not eaten. Black and brown fur was covered in blood all over his body. His tail was long and still. His eyes never seemed to leave Alex, no matter where he was in the room. The t-shirts covered the animal. He tied them to apply pressure without causing further injury. He learned this method from watching medics on the battlefield. He knelt down by the dog’s face, and the whimpering continued.

The phone rang in his pocket. Blood-covered hands reached into his shorts, pulled out the phone, and answered it. Aunt Lynn’s concern filled her voice. “Alex, I spoke with my vet, Dr. Williams. The clinic is closed, but I gave him your address, and he is heading over to you. I told him what happened, and he said not to move the dog if you can help it.”

Relieved by the news, Alex responded, “I’m with him on the bedroom floor right now. I have him bandaged and stopped a lot of the bleeding. How long will it take for the vet to get here?”

“Hopefully only ten minutes. Do you want me to come over as well?” Aunt Lynn offered.

“No, I don’t want you out driving this time of night. I’ll be all right until he arrives. Once I know more, I’ll let you know. Thank you for calling him. I’ll wait next to the pup and try to keep him comfortable,” he said as he stroked the dog’s forehead.

“Okay, Alex, I’m wide awake now, so I’ll wait to hear from you. Let me know when Dr. Williams arrives and what he does for the dog. I love you, honey.”

“I love you, Aunt Lynn. I’ll call you as soon as I know anything.” He hung up the phone and stuck it back in his shorts pocket.

Alex looked down at the injured dog as he hung up the phone. He felt a deep sense of empathy and connection. This creature was in pain, much like himself, seeking solace and healing. And in that moment, their fates had collided.

Chapter 2

Jordan

Jordan stirred in bed when he felt the vibration on his left wrist. He opened his eyes to his bedroom’s flashing blue and yellow strobe lights. Reaching to his nightstand, he grabbed one of his hearing aids, what he calls the “uninvited ear guest” and placed it in and over his left ear. He picked up the cell phone from its cradle. “Dr. Williams speaking,” he answered in a groggy, disoriented voice.

Linda wasted no time, her voice filled with worry and determination. “Jordan, it’s Linda Skeens. I need your help. It’s my nephew, Alex. A dog crashed through his glass window, and it’s injured badly. There’s a lot of blood. Can you please go to his house and help the poor thing?”

There was a brief pause as Jordan processed the request. He and Linda had known each other for years, and he had tremendous respect for her. He also knew that her nephew held an extraordinary place in her heart. She boasted about him frequently.

“Of course, Linda. I’ll head to his place right away. I’ll do everything I can to help the dog,” Jordan assured her. “Text me his address.” Jordan jumped up from the bed. He was already wearing blue sweatpants, socks, and a green t-shirt, and he slipped on his running shoes.

“He just moved to town two weeks ago and is renting the Jenkins’s place on Otter Terrace. I’ll text you the address. It’s where we had the barbecue two years ago when Emily joined the clinic,” Linda said.

“I remember that house. I can be there in about ten minutes,” Jordan said. He struggled to get the second hearing aid in his ear after he put his shoes on.

Linda’s voice trembled with gratitude. “Thank you, Jordan. I hate to ask this of you. Can you please make sure that Alex is okay, too? I’ll take care of all the billing. Do whatever you have to for the dog.” 

Jordan put the call on speakerphone as he grabbed his car keys. “Yes, ma’am, understood. I’ll call you as soon as I have some information for you. Take care.” Jordan hung up the phone and placed it in the pocket of his sweats. He opened the closet by the cabin door, withdrew a red backpack, and slung it over his shoulder. He locked the front door behind him and walked to his Jeep.

As he backed out of the driveway, his mind raced, thinking about how to help the injured dog. He knew every minute counted in situations like this. The dog’s well-being was his top priority. Linda's call left his heart pounding. He reached for his phone and dialed a familiar number. 

Emily Rodriguez was a veterinarian known for her expertise in emergency surgeries. She answered the call with a brisk but professional tone. “Dr. Rodriguez speaking.”

Jordan took a deep breath, his words coming out in a rush. “Emily, it’s Jordan. I need your help with an emergency surgery. It’s for Linda Skeens.”

Emily gasped, “What? Is it Whiskers or Muffin?”

A slight pause on the phone. Jordan and Emily were very familiar with Linda’s cats. They knew the playful Whiskers and his mischievous sister, Muffin, who didn’t like vaccines.

“Neither,” said Jordan. “Linda’s nephew moved to town recently. A dog jumped through a window in the house. She said it’s cut up pretty badly. I’m on my way to his house now to assess its injuries. Can you head to the clinic and get ready for surgery? Daniel is working the overnight shift tonight. I’ll have him bring the van for transport.”

Emily was quiet momentarily. “I’ll get dressed and head to the clinic now. I’ll make sure everything is ready for surgery. Get there as fast as you can.” 

With that, Jordan hung up the phone. His sense of relief mingled with his determination. He would do all that he could to save the injured animal.

He attached his phone to the mount, his fingers dancing across the screen to dial Daniel’s cell number. Daniel Thompson was a highly skilled veterinary technician. Jordan trusted Daniel’s expertise and knew he could count on him in times of urgency.

As the call connected to the car’s internal speakers, Jordan could hear the sounds of the clinic in the background. Daniel must have been around the kennel area. “Daniel, I need your help,” he began, his tone urgent yet composed.

“What’s going on? Why are you calling so early?” Daniel’s voice held a note of concern as he responded.

Jordan explained the situation to him. “Can you please bring the clinic’s van to help with transport? Emily is on her way in to prep for surgery.”

There was a brief pause on the line before Daniel replied, “Of course. Where am I heading?”

Jordan turned the corner too quickly and had to focus on the road momentarily. “Do you remember Mr. Jenkins’ vacation home? The place where we had that barbecue for Emily when she first arrived in town?”

Daniel thought momentarily and answered, “Yes, I remember. I know how to get there. Everything is fine here. I’ve given all the meds to our patients already. I’ll grab the van and head to you now.” 

Jordan breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver. I’ll see you soon. Will you grab the trauma kit and bring three bags of plasma?” He heard Daniel walking fast and keys jingling. “On it, boss. I’ll see you soon.”

Jordan felt a renewed sense of determination when the call ended. With Emily at the clinic and Daniel on his way with the van, the team was ready to help this poor dog. Time was of the essence, and every minute counted in their race to save the pup’s life.

He raced down Tanbark Road and he turned left onto Otter Terrace. He drove to the white cottage that backed up to the cliffs leading out to the cove. He pulled up alongside a grey Toyota Tacoma, then turned off his engine. He grabbed his backpack from the passenger seat and headed for the door. 

The knock on the door echoed through the quiet coastal evening. Jordan could hear the faint sounds of the ocean in the distance. It was a stark contrast to the tension that filled the air. He adjusted his backpack nervously, waiting for the door to open.

When the door finally swung open, Jordan saw a sight that took his breath away. A large man stood before him. He wore only black running shorts. The word ARMY was in yellow on the right leg. A mixture of blood and sweat glistened on his skin. It was covering his stomach, arms, and legs. The man’s intense blue eyes were wide with concern. His muscular arms and lean torso were wondrous.

“I’m Dr. Jordan Williams,” he said urgently. “You must be Linda’s nephew, Alex. Can you take me to the dog?”

Alex reached out unexpectedly and took the red backpack off of Jordan’s shoulder. It initially took Jordan aback as he raised his arm to allow the man access to the pack. “This way, he’s back here,” Alex said as he led the way into the bedroom, carrying Jordan’s backpack.

Alex walked in front of him briskly, his bare feet padding softly on the hardwood floor. The dog’s whimpering grew louder as they approached the bedroom at the back of the house.

They entered the room and Jordan’s eyes widened at the sight of the injured large German Shepherd. The dog lay on the floor, covered and surrounded by clothes, blood matted in his fur, and pain evident in his eyes. Jordan could see the shards of glass still embedded in the dog’s side, a gruesome reminder of the accident. Broken glass littered the floor. The windowpane had shattered when the dog jumped through the window.

Jordan assessed the dog’s injuries with a determined focus. He noticed Alex watching him intently as he worked swiftly and methodically. Alex set the red veterinary bag down next to Jordan and was quiet. An unspoken understanding formed instantly between them as they entered the room. Their shared concern for the injured Shepherd forged a connection that transcended words.

Jordan’s hands moved precisely. He reached into the bag and got his digital stethoscope and bandages. He delicately moved some t-shirts that were not tied together. It impressed him that Alex thought to tie off areas of the dog’s body to help control the blood loss. The weight of the situation pressed down on him. He knew the odds were not in their favor but refused to give up. They had a fighting chance, with Emily prepping for surgery and Daniel on his way.

He reached into his bag. Alex remained beside him, offering silent support and encouragement. Amid chaos and uncertainty, their unspoken connection deepened.

Jordan leaned closer to the large animal, his face a mix of concern and determination. “Alex,” he began, his voice calm yet urgent. “His injuries are severe, and he is in a lot of pain. I need to give him some morphine to help manage it and keep him comfortable while we get him to my clinic.”

Alex, his eyes filled with worry, nodded his understanding. “Do whatever you need to do, Dr. Williams. Please help him.” Alex’s voice cracked as he said the words, and tears ran down his face.

“Call me Jordan." Jordan retrieved a vial of morphine from his medical bag. He measured the dosage based on the dog’s size and condition. He filled the syringe and explained to Alex, “this should help ease his pain and keep him as comfortable as possible for the transport.” 

With the syringe prepared, Jordan leaned into the dog. “Hold on, buddy,” he whispered. “This will make you feel better.”

Gently, Jordan administered the morphine, injecting it into his hind upper leg. He reached into his bag, pulled out a silver emergency blanket, and placed it over the Shepherd to keep him warm and secure. He was careful to avoid the large shard of glass protruding from the animal's side.

Jordan finished and turned to Alex. His expression was a mix of professional determination and empathy. “The morphine will take a little time to kick in, but it should help him feel more at ease soon. I’m doing everything I can for him here. Our clinic’s van is coming. It should be here momentarily. We’ll get him in the van and back to the clinic. My colleague, Dr. Rodriguez, will perform the surgery. She’s extraordinary with emergency cases. I won’t lie to you. His chances are not good, but we’ll do all we can to save him. The amount of blood loss concerns me, though. What is his name?”

Alex was silent for a moment, processing what Jordan had just said. “I... I don’t know his name. He isn’t my dog. I was sleeping, and he jumped in through the window—scared the hell out of me.” Alex stood there looking down at Jordan. Jordan caressed the dog’s hindquarters, where he gave the shot of morphine.

Jordan leaned on his knees to look outside the window. “I wonder if he was being chased. Something or someone had to startle him for him to jump through the window like that. It could have been a black bear or an elk he was trying to escape from…” He trailed off.

Just then, he heard the van pull in front of the house and beep its horn. “That will be Daniel. Can you go let him in? I’ll stay with the dog.” Jordan watched as Alex nodded and headed out of the room. He didn’t take his eyes off Alex’s butt in those very short, tight running shorts. He looked down at the dog. “I can see why you jumped in his bedroom window. I would’ve, too.” He reached down and found that the pup was much more relaxed. He felt his neck for a collar and didn’t find one. The dog appeared malnourished. It looked as if he hadn’t been eating well. “Don’t worry, big fella. I’m doing all I can to help you.”

Daniel and Alex returned to the room with a small stretcher for the dog. “Here you go, boss,” Daniel said. Seeing the gravity of the scene, he added, “Damn!” Jordan pulled the silver blanket off of the dog. A pile of multi-colored t-shirts covered him, all stained with blood.

Jordan pulled out a thin board from under the stretcher pad and laid it next to the dog on the floor. “If we can easily slide him onto this board, we can lift him onto the stretcher,” Daniel said. He bent down to the opposite side of Jordan on the floor. Jordan noticed Alex was silent and stood back out of the way as he and Daniel worked on the dog. The giant man’s stare was intense, and Jordan could see the pain in his eyes.

“I’ll pull him toward me, and you slide the board under him,” Jordan instructed. Daniel nodded in acknowledgment. “Ready, now,” Jordan said as he lifted the dog’s legs and shifted his body gently toward him. Daniel slid the board under, and they were ready to raise him. Jordan looked up at the towering, shirtless, muscle-bound man who stood over them.

“Alex, can you help us lift him so we can keep him steady as we move him to the stretcher?” Alex nodded and moved closer to them, taking his position by the dog’s head. Jordan and Daniel had each side, and they held onto the board. “Ready, on three. One, two, three, and lift.” In a gentle unison, all three men rose simultaneously and lifted the dog onto the stretcher.

Jordan could tell that this was hard on Alex. There was trauma here, not about the dog’s injuries, but more, much more. Jordan had always been very sensitive to other people’s energy. Alex’s demeanor and energy were sorrowful and full of despair.

He looked at Alex. “I’ll ride in the back of the van with the dog. We’ll take him to my clinic and get him into surgery. Since we don’t know the dog’s owner, we have to decide to do the right thing for him.” Alex looked at Jordan and moved closer to him.

“Give him the best care possible. I’ll pay for whatever he needs,” Alex said.

“Don’t worry, Linda has that covered. She already told me to do whatever was necessary. He’ll get the best care.”

Alex nodded.

Daniel and Jordan started pushing the stretcher toward the front door. Jordan saw Alex reach down, grab his belongings, and put them back in the vet bag as he exited the room. 

As Daniel and Jordan got to the van, Alex emerged from the house with the bag and walked up to them. Daniel used the lift, got the stretcher into the van, and secured the straps. He and Alex watched. Jordan climbed into the back of the van and looked over at the dog as Daniel headed to the front.

“Can I come with you?” asked Alex. Having a half-naked, muscled Adonis follow him back to the clinic sounded fun. But he knew he needed to focus on the dog, not those biceps.

Jordan knew Alex had been in the military and had been having difficulties since returning home –- Linda had told him that much. He could see that he was having a hard time focusing right now. He knew as a soldier Alex would find focus and structure in following orders.

Hoping this helped him, he said, “My clinic is Pawsitive Vibes. Look us up on your phone and head over after you have showered to clean off the blood and change your clothes. The surgery will take a while, so no need to rush. It would be best if you hydrate yourself as well. When you get there, ask for me, and I’ll come get you,” Jordan said as he hurried over to the van’s side door. “I’ll do my best, Alex. I promise.” He reached out and touched Alex’s bloody forearm and squeezed it gently. “I’ve got him.” As he smiled at Alex, he reached for the door. Their eyes locked, and Alex smiled back.

Alex nodded. He stepped back from the van, and Jordan closed the van door. 

Jordan reached over and leaned on the stretcher, looking into the dogs’ glazed eyes. “Here we go, buddy.”

Chapter 3

Alex

Alex stood on the quiet street. He watched the van’s taillights carry Jordan and the dog away. They disappeared into the distance. The air was cool against his skin. It contrasted with the heat that had consumed him moments ago. The weight of the night’s events bore down on him. He couldn’t shake the image of the injured dog. He also couldn’t shake the frantic call to Aunt Lynn, or the stranger trying to save the animal’s life.

He was glistening with a mixture of blood and sweat. Alex felt awe and gratitude for Jordan. The veterinarian arrived like a whirlwind of calm and competence. Alex had seen the steady determination in Jordan’s eyes. He also saw the deft, skilled hands that tended to the wounds. Jordan’s strength resonated with Alex, a quality he respected and admired.

With a sigh, Alex finally turned away from the empty street and returned to the house. He stepped into the bathroom. The harsh lights revealed the extent of his disheveled appearance. Blood covered his chest and arms, a grim reminder of the chaotic moments earlier in the night.

He turned on the shower. The warm water cascaded over him, washing away the physical remnants of the night’s ordeal. As the water splashed against his skin, he let his mind wander back to Jordan. He replayed their brief encounter in his head, remembering the urgency in Jordan’s voice. The unwavering determination in his eyes. The competence with which he had assessed the horrific injuries.

Alex admired strength in many forms, not just physical strength. Jordan was smaller than Alex, but seemed stronger in different ways. He had noticed the doctor was wearing hearing aids in both ears. He wondered if Jordan was born hard of hearing or if it happened later in life. Jordan was several inches shorter than Alex and athletic. He had a runner’s build and piercing green eyes that seemed to look into Alex’s soul. Alex thought Jordan’s sandy brown hair was messy from waking up so early in the morning, yet he still looked handsome. The hot doctor had a professional exterior. But he detected a glimmer of vulnerability beneath it. They shared an understanding of the weight of their pasts. It was a connection he hadn’t expected, a spark of something he couldn’t quite define.

Lost in thought, Alex let the water wash away the physical and emotional trauma and the steam envelop him.

When Alex finished his shower, he felt a renewed determination to help the dog. The water had cleansed his body. It also washed away some of the weight he had been carrying since the dog burst through his window. The dog woke him from another nightmare. He wrapped a towel around his waist and reached for his phone.

After a few rings, Aunt Lynn’s warm voice filled the line. “Hello, Alex? Are you all right?”

Alex’s voice held a mixture of relief, pain, and gratitude as he replied. “I’m okay now. Thanks to you and Dr. Williams.”

Aunt Lynn let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line. “Oh, thank goodness. I was so worried. What happened?”

Alex recounted the night’s events. He described the dog crashing through the window that led to the frantic call for help. He explained that Dr. Williams arrived right on time. He spared no detail. He wanted Aunt Lynn to understand the full extent of the chaos and the kindness he had encountered.

“I’ve never been more grateful for your connections,” Alex admitted. “Dr. Williams is amazing. He took charge of the dog’s care. I hope it’s enough to save that poor dog’s life. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”  

Aunt Lynn’s voice held a warm chuckle as she replied, “Well, he’s a fantastic vet, and I’m glad he could help. And I’m grateful you’re okay, dear. But remember, you’re quite resourceful yourself.”

Alex smiled at his aunt’s reassurance. “Thanks, Aunt Lynn. I appreciate everything you’ve done. I thought you should know I’m all right.”

“I’m glad to hear it, sweetheart. Now, get some rest and take care of yourself. And, of course, keep me posted on how that dog is doing.”

“Thank you, yes, I will. Dr. Williams gave me the name of his clinic. I’m going to look it up now and head over there.”

Alex heard shuffling on the phone as if his aunt was moving around the house. She replied, “Pawsitive Vibes. I have the address. I’ll text it to you.”

With his mind at ease, he ended the call, knowing he had a few hours ahead of him before finding out how the dog was doing.

Still wrapped in a towel, he walked into his bedroom. As he approached his dresser, he remembered he used all his clean t-shirts to stop the bleeding. A slight sigh of sadness escaped him as he saw the empty, opened drawer where his T-shirts used to be. It revealed a limited selection of socks and underwear. He sighed again, realizing that he had to resort to the laundry basket.

After rummaging through the basket, he finally found a crumpled blue t-shirt. Its message, “In my defense, I was left unsupervised,” brought a small smile to his face. It was one of his favorite shirts. It would have to do. He slipped it on. He hoped the shirt’s disheveled appearance and smell wouldn’t attract attention.

Alex ate a hasty breakfast, but he was eager to see the veterinarian again and check the dog’s progress. After breakfast, he grabbed his keys and headed out to his truck. The text came through from Aunt Lynn, so he opened his maps app and got the route. He headed toward the clinic, filled with apprehension.

He pulled into a small cafe on the way to the clinic. He felt bad for the clinic team, and he thought they might need a caffeine boost. A little something to lift their spirits after the early morning call to action.

Inside, the warm aroma of brewed coffee and the scent of pastries filled the air. Behind the counter stood a young woman, her eyes widening when she saw Alex. The young woman, whose name tag read “Theresa,” greeted him with a friendly smile that seemed to light up the room. Her enthusiasm was palpable as she admired Alex.

“Good morning!” Theresa chirped. “What can I get for you today?”

Alex returned her smile. “I’ll take a large coffee container, a medium chai tea, and a dozen mixed pastries, please.”

“Sure thing!” Theresa replied, her eyes still twinkling as she began preparing his order. While he waited, he brought up a local neighborhood app on his phone. He wanted to see if someone reported a German Shepherd missing. Before he could finish his search, his order was ready. 

She handed him his order and added, “Your shirt is hysterical. If my boss saw that shirt, he would embroider that saying on our aprons.”

Alex laughed and looked down at the writing on his shirt. “Yeah, my friend’s wife made it for me when I was in the military. I made a dumb mistake and got called to report to my commanding officer.”

Alex remembered the moment Brian had him unwrap the shirt in their squad room—he was so excited. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Theresa laughed, saying, “Did you wear it around the base?”

Alex laughed again and replied, “No, my CO didn’t have a sense of humor. It wouldn’t have gone over well. Besides, I was already in trouble for throwing away his favorite coffee maker. There was this ancient relic of a coffee pot that percolated coffee. It was taking up space in the cabinet. So, I trashed it. Big mistake. My CO had an emotional attachment to it.” Alex looked bemused about how that kind of pot even made coffee.

“What?! You threw away a coffee pot. Never throw away a person’s coffee pot. That is no bueno,” Theresa said as she laughed out loud. Her kindness and attitude were charming and lifted his mood.

Alex chuckled, then noticed a sign behind her that read “Kindness Matters.” He found it amusing that her words seemed genuine and a nod to the cafe’s motto.

“Thank you for that advice—it will never happen again,” he replied with a grateful smile. He thanked the young woman for her help and left the café. The stranger’s unexpected kindness energized him.

He continued his drive to the Pawsitive Vibes Animal Clinic. He admired the picturesque coastal town of Brookings. The city also rests near the beautiful Pacific Ocean coastline. Tall evergreen trees lined the winding roads. They cast dappled shadows in the morning sunlight.

Sooner than he realized, he approached Pawsitive Vibes Animal Clinic, Day Care, & Spa. Well-maintained gardens filled with flowers surrounded the rustic, blue buildings. They had adorned the front entrance with potted plants. A colorful sign that said “Only Pawsitive Vibes Welcome Beyond This Point” welcomed visitors. As he read the sign, he felt insecure.

If everyone knew how I was really feeling, I wouldn’t have been allowed in.

The lot was already bustling with pet owners dropping off their pets. He noticed the vibrant energy of the place. Laughter and barking echoed from the outdoor play areas. Dogs played in the sunshine under the watchful eyes of the staff. He’d never seen a place like this. 

The clinic’s large windows showcased the spacious and well-equipped interior. Staff and volunteers wearing blue shirts entered and exited the building. Dr. Williams’ clinic impressed Alex. He didn’t know it was such a big operation.

He looked down at the passenger side of his truck. He inspected the small donation of pastries and coffee. He should have gone to Costco instead.

I don’t even know if this town has a Costco.

Alex had the coffee container and pastries in hand as he exited his truck. He entered through the clinic’s main door, feeling anticipation and anxiousness. The reception area was a warm and inviting space, bathed in soft hues of blue and green. The clinic adorned the walls with pictures of happy, healthy pets under its care. To add a soothing touch to the atmosphere, the scent of flowers hung in the air.

A receptionist with a friendly smile sat behind a wooden desk. Her fingers typed away at the computer. She looked up as Alex approached, and her eyes widened at the sight of him.

“Hello, how can I help you today?” she greeted.

Alex offered a polite smile in return. “I’m here to see Dr. Williams. He brought in a German Shepherd earlier.”

Recognition flashed in the receptionist’s eyes. “Ah, you must be Mr. Bennett. Dr. Williams mentioned you. Please, sit, and I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Alex nodded and approached a plush armchair in the waiting area. As he sank into its welcoming embrace, a surge of anxiety swept through him.

It was like a cold tide rising in his chest. The clinic’s serene ambiance had soft lighting and muted colors. This contrasted jarringly with the tumultuous memories of the battlefield that haunted him. The relentless roar of conflict surrounded him. Every heartbeat was a ticking clock of survival. Every breath was a dance with danger.

His thoughts drifted to the injured dog.

God, we haven’t spoken in a long time, and you already took Brian from me. Don’t make me beg—just this once, do me a favor, and don’t take this dog too.

He worried that something had gone wrong during treatment. The scent of flowers, meant to calm, only heightened his unease. He fidgeted in his seat, his fingers tapping rhythmically on his thigh.

Moments later, the receptionist returned, offering him a reassuring smile. “Dr. Williams will see you now. Follow me, please.”

She led him down a hallway. Framed photographs of the Brookings coastline adorned the walls. It provided a peaceful distraction from his racing thoughts. They arrived at a private consultation room. Soft lighting and soothing colors created a serene ambiance. A box of tissues sat on the small table.

Alex’s heart pounded as he took a seat. The sterile scent of the clinic mixed with the aroma of the flowers. For a moment, he felt like he was back in a field hospital, surrounded by the stark realities of war. His fingers tightened around the cardboard coffee carafe that he was still carrying. Then he crushed the handle of the box of pastries he held. 

He looked at the woman and said, “I got some people out of bed early this morning. I wanted to bring them some coffee. If I had known the size of this place, I would have bought more.” He then stretched out his arms to offer them to the woman.

“That is kind of you. I’ll take them back to the staff lounge. Dr. Williams will be in soon,” she said as she took the coffee and pastries from him and walked out into the hallway, closing the door.

As he waited for Dr. Williams, the weight of his experiences pressed on his chest. His mind replayed the anxieties and fears he thought he had left behind on the battlefield.

The door to the private consultation room opened, and Dr. Williams walked in. His sudden presence was calming as the air shifted in the room. He tousled his dark hair, giving himself a casual yet put-together appearance. A hint of chestnut highlights caught the soft room lighting. 

A warm smile graced Dr. William’s face as he entered, immediately putting Alex at ease. He wore dark blue medical scrub pants and a dark blue-black top. The shirt had the Cookie Monster all over it, giving him a gentle and approachable air. Alex had seen him tending to the wounded dog. His firm hands seemed steady and reassuring.

“Alex,” Jordan greeted, his voice calm.

“Hello, Dr. Williams,” Alex replied.

“Please, call me Jordan,” Jordan said.

Alex nodded, appreciating the friendly gesture. “It’s nice to meet you formally, Jordan.”

Jordan sat opposite Alex. He leaned forward slightly. His expression shifted to one of concern. “I wanted to give you an update on the dog. The surgery went well, and we removed all the glass. Fortunately, it didn’t hit any major organs, but he lost a lot of blood, and that’s our primary cause for concern.”

Alex’s heart sank at the news. He had prepared for the possibility of complications. But hearing it confirmed was still a heavy blow. He swallowed hard and asked, “Is he going to be okay?”

Jordan’s eyes met Alex’s. “We’ve done everything we can, but it’s too early to tell. He’s in recovery now, and we’ll be monitoring him closely. The next few hours will be critical. I promise we’re doing everything possible to help him pull through.”

Alex nodded. He was grateful for Jordan’s professionalism and deeply worried about the injured dog. He was a soldier, used to facing adversity head-on. This situation felt entirely different. Alex had a very hard time adjusting to civilian life. He hoped the dog was more resilient than him.

“Thank you, Jordan,” Alex said sincerely, the weight of the situation palpable. “I appreciate everything you’re doing for him.”

Jordan nodded, continuing, “I wanted to inform you that we’ve discovered he has a microchip. We checked the registry, and his name is Shadow. He is three-and-a-half years old. A service dog for emotional support and anxiety. He belongs to a woman who lives in Chicago. We tried to call her, but there was no answer, and her voicemail was full. We will try again in a little while.”

The news about finding the owner left Alex feeling conflicted. He felt relieved knowing Shadow had an owner who cared for him. But he had grown attached to the injured dog. They had spent only a short time together on his bedroom floor. How is it he imprinted on his heart already? He wanted to ensure that he got the best possible care.

“Is it possible for me to contact the owner?” Alex asked, his voice tinged with concern.

“Of course. There’s a phone right here in the room. Let me get you the contact information so you can make the call.” 

Jordan stepped out of the room to get the owner’s contact information. He returned to the room a moment later with a clipboard to make the call. “Our receptionist reminded me of clinic policies. We need to maintain the privacy of the owner’s information. I have the contact information, Alex,” he said, holding the clipboard. “But there’s a minor hurdle. Clinic policy dictates that I can only share the owner’s private info if you’re officially a part of the clinic.”

Alex nodded, looking saddened by the news.

“But I have an idea. You could sign up as a volunteer to work at the clinic,” Jordan said.

Alex raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the proposal. “A volunteer?”

Jordan nodded. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yes, a volunteer. We run background checks, but I’m sure you’d pass since you’re Linda Skeens’ nephew. Just to be safe, though, I’ll have to ask: any felonies involving animals or, I don’t know, throwing tanks at people?”

Alex chuckled at the thought. “No felonies or lawbreaking of any kind, Jordan. And I promise not to throw cars on the clinic’s property.”

With a warm smile, Jordan handed him the clipboard. “Great! Just fill out the forms, and we’ll have you officially onboarded. Then you can access the owner’s info and contact them.”

Alex began filling out the volunteer forms. He appreciated Jordan’s quick thinking. With Jordan’s help, he was more hopeful about Shadow’s care. 

Jordan had trained his eyes on Alex’s lips when he spoke, and Alex noticed. He seemed to pay extra special attention to his words. It was the first time Alex had encountered someone hard of hearing.

Curiosity got the better of him, and as he handed the completed forms back to Jordan, he asked. “Hey, Jordan,” he began, “I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking at my lips as I spoke. Are you a lip-reader?”

Jordan looked surprised by the question. “Yeah, I am,” he admitted. “My ears’ ‘arch nemesis’ helps,” he said, pointing to his hearing aids. “Lip-reading makes it easier for me to follow conversations, especially in noisy environments.”

Alex nodded, wanting to be considerate. “Got it. I’ll make sure to face you when I talk so you can read my lips more easily.”

A warm smile crossed Jordan’s face. “Thanks, Alex. I’d appreciate that. It’ll make communication smoother between us.”

Alex and Jordan continued to chat about the clinic, the volunteer program, and Shadow’s treatment. Their connection was effortless. It was a slight gesture, but it seemed to Alex that it meant a lot to Jordan.

Chapter 4

Jordan

Jordan explained the clinic’s mission and volunteer onboarding process to Alex. He then wanted to introduce Alex to the clinic’s practice manager, Sophia Patel. He dialed her extension and waited for her to pick up.

“This is Sophia.” Sophia’s voice came through the line.

“Sophia,” Jordan replied with a warm smile. “I have Linda Skeens’ nephew here who’s interested in volunteering. Would you mind coming to exam room twelve? I hoped you could meet and walk him through the volunteer registration process. We need to onboard him in the system immediately to notify an owner about a surgical case.”

Sophia didn’t hesitate. “Of course, I’ll be right there.”

Alex looked quizzically at Jordan as he hung up the phone. “She knows my aunt?”

“Everyone here knows Linda. She’s the clinic liaison and department head of the team that oversees the clinic,” Jordan said. “You didn’t know?”

“No, I didn’t know. I thought she worked at Pacific Edge as a secretary,” Alex replied.

Jordan gasped and looked around the room. He was checking for an invisible presence that may have heard what the dreamy, dumb guy said. “We never use the ‘s’ word when referring to Linda Skeens. She’s more than some high-powered attorney's secretary. Once, a new attorney called her ‘Sacred Cow’ because of her role at Pacific Edge. He didn’t understand how she wielded so much power in the firm. He was very entitled and rude to his support team when he started. Poor guy suffered her wrath for months because of his behavior during the first two weeks. She molded him into a decent guy, eventually. She doesn’t take any shit.”

Alex looked stunned by Jordan’s words.

“What’s a sacred cow?” Alex inquired.

Jordan smiled, “It’s a term that lawyers use to discuss their secretaries when another lawyer tries to poach them. Linda is the big cheese around here—we all adore her. She’s the one who recruited me to move here when the clinic was being built. Your aunt created everything that you see here today. It is all her brainchild.”

“I had no idea,” Alex said. “I’ve been going through some stuff for the last couple of years. I haven’t been the best nephew, son, or friend. Aunt Lynn is always asking about me. I’ve been bad at asking about her and what she’s been up to. She created all of this. I can’t believe how incredible it turned out. I was awestruck at this place when I drove up today.”

“It took her a year to write the business plan. She found the location. She scoured the country, assembling the best staff I’ve ever worked with, convincing us all to move to a town of 7,000 people. She even ensured all her favorite Iris varieties were on the property,” Jordan said proudly. “Don’t beat yourself up. I know your aunt and how she feels about you—according to her, you’re the best nephew ever.”

Jordan smiled, took his closed fist, and playfully hit Alex in the shoulder. “Ow, what are you made of—bricks?” He shook out his hand. “I have to operate with this hand.”

Moments later, the door to the exam room swung open, and Sophia entered with a friendly demeanor. She extended her hand to Alex. “Hello there, I’m Sophia Patel. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Alex shook her hand and returned the smile. “Nice to meet you too, Sophia. I’m Alex Bennett.”

Sophia began, “I’ll happily take him through the volunteer registration process, Jordan.”

“Sophia is fantastic at making everything run smoothly here. You’ll be in expert hands,” Jordan reassured Alex. “Sophia, this is a rush. Please find me as soon as he has his badge and login credentials so I can set him up to call a pet owner about her dog.”

Jordan left Alex in Sophia’s capable hands to complete the volunteer registration process.

He went to the recovery area to check on Shadow. According to Rebecca, Emily’s veterinary nurse, the surgery went well, but she didn’t know if he was out of the woods yet. She said they would know more soon.

Jordan came back an hour later when Emily was out of another surgery. He saw Emily gently stroking Shadow’s fur. She had a warm, reassuring smile. She turned to him and greeted him with a nod. “Hey, Jordan. He’s a fighter.”

He approached Shadow’s recovery pen, where the dog lay. They had cleaned and stitched his wounds. They had also provided fluids through an IV line. Shadow’s lethargic eyes met Jordan’s.

“How’s he doing?” Jordan asked, his focus still on Shadow.

Emily continued to stroke Shadow’s head. “His blood loss was excessive, but we’ve given him several bags of blood and plasma. He’s responding well to it. His vitals are stabilizing, and he’s regained consciousness. He’s a strong one.”

Jordan’s face broke into a smile, relief washing over him. “That’s great to hear. He’s been through a lot.”

Emily nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. He’s got a long road to recovery ahead, but he’s got the spirit. We’ll watch him closely and keep him comfortable.”

Jordan told Emily that Shadow was a service dog, and they had tracked down his owner in Chicago. He still wondered how the injured dog had ended up in Oregon, so far from home. His thoughts turned to the owner. He hoped she wasn’t suffering without her faithful companion.

“I can’t imagine what it must be like for his owner,” Jordan said, his gaze still fixed on Shadow. “To lose her service dog and not know where he’s been all this time. I hope she’s okay, and Shadow’s safe return will comfort her.”

“It must be a relief for her to know that he’s in our care,” she said. “We’ll do everything we can to get him back to her once he’s fully recovered.”

Jordan looked at Shadow again. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this dog’s journey held a deeper purpose for the owner and himself.

He checked on Shadow and a few other recovering animals. Then, he went to the clinic’s break room. He needed a coffee. As he entered the cozy room, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted him. It instantly rejuvenated his spirits. He was about to pour himself a cup when he noticed a tempting assortment of pastries neatly arranged on the countertop.

With a grateful smile, he treated himself to a pastry—a delectable-looking cinnamon roll. As he took a bite and savored the flavors, he overheard a lively conversation. Brenda and Lisa, two of the clinic’s staff members, were enjoying their pastries and coffee nearby.

“He is so rugged and hot, isn’t he?” Brenda said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Lisa nodded, her voice filled with excitement. “Oh! Did you see those muscles? And that smile? I was swooning.”

Jordan chuckled to himself, finding their conversation both amusing and endearing. He knew the ladies in the break room knew about his preference for men. They often teased him in good fun, trying to get him to ask out men they deemed worthy.

Unable to resist joining in, Jordan chimed in with a playful grin. “So, who are we talking about, ladies? Anyone I should know about?”

Brenda and Lisa exchanged knowing looks before turning their attention to Jordan. Lisa leaned in with a sly grin. “Oh, you know, the guy who brought those amazing pastries. Tall, dark, muscular, and handsome.”

Brenda added with a wink, “We were saying a couple of minutes ago that you should ask him out, Jordan.”

Jordan raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “Oh, really now? And who is this mystery pastry provider?” He knew who they meant, but wanted to play along.

The ladies exchanged mischievous glances again. Then Brenda leaned in closer, her voice barely above a whisper. “His name’s Alex, and he’s Linda Skeens’ nephew. He’s new in town, and from what we’ve seen, he’s quite the catch.”

“Oh yeah, I saw him. But I would have no chance there. He looks like Superman, and I look like Robin. Not the cool Robin with the nipple suit, but the one from the sixties TV show.”

Brenda and Lisa laughed and stood up to leave. “When will you realize you are quite a catch, too? We all know it—you must take our word for it,” Brenda said.

Jordan appreciated the friendly nudge from his colleagues. “Well, ladies,” he said with a smile. “I’ll update you on the small-town saga of ‘Muscles and the Shrimp.’ It airs daily on all local Brookings channels.”

The ladies both rolled their eyes and gave him a big hug as they exited the breakroom. Jordan returned to his coffee and pastry. He should feel excited and look forward to a potential new acquaintance. Instead, it was easier to stay silent.

The door to the breakroom swung open, and Sophia entered, followed by Alex, who was wearing a tight navy blue polo with the clinic’s logo and the word “‘Volunteer’” on the back. Sophia wore her signature warm smile and seemed pleased as she led Alex further into the room.

“Jordan,” Sophia greeted him. “Look who I’ve brought back. Our newest volunteer.”

Jordan rose from his seat and extended a hand to Alex, offering a friendly smile. “So nice to have you join us, Alex,” he said with a crooked smile.

Alex shook Jordan’s hand, his blue eyes twinkling. “Thanks for making this possible.” There was a hint of playfulness in his voice.

“Sophia, Alex brought us these delicious pastries, and the staff couldn’t be happier,” Jordan said as he made a toast gesture to Alex with his cinnamon roll.

Alex blushed a little.

Sophia nodded. “Ah, yes, I saw those in the breakroom earlier. Thank you for the treats, Alex. It’s a rare occasion that our staff gets spoiled like this.”

Jordan looked admonished. “Hey, I spoil the staff!”

Alex chuckled. “Well, it’s the least I can do after all the help I’ve received today. Sophia guided me through the onboarding process—she got me my new badge, see?” He pulled out his new volunteer badge. Showing Jordan the picture of him forcing a smile beside the Pawsitive Vibes logo. He turned to Sophia and thanked her for her help. 

“Finding a polo shirt that he didn’t bust out of was a bit like searching for a needle in a haystack—we found three that fit snugly,” Sophia quipped. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “But we managed, and now he’s officially part of the Pawsitive Vibes team.”

Jordan smirked and gave Alex a playful once-over. “I guess we’ll have to ensure we don’t leave you unsupervised.” Pointing to the T-shirt in Alex’s hand.

Sophia chimed in with a laugh. “Stop picking on him on his first day, Jordan. And Alex, we’ve set you up with computer access, too. You can join our volunteer training programs. There are twenty-six modules for you to work through before you are on your own. For now, I’ll assign Erika as your volunteer coach. She will help you get acclimated.”

Jordan added with a friendly grin, “Welcome aboard, Alex. Thanks, Sophia. I’ll take it from here and get him all set up to call the owner. I appreciate you dropping everything to do this personally.”

“Are you kidding? If you need anything, Alex, let me know. Your aunt is one of my favorite people in the world. It was so nice to put a face to the name finally. She has told us all about her wonderful nephew,” Sophia said sweetly.

She reached up and hugged both of them, and then left the room. Jordan noticed Alex was hesitant to accept a hug, but leaned to it once she committed.

“I’m sorry about all that. I didn’t have time to explain to her I wanted you to volunteer so you could call Shadow’s owner. Once we’re done today, I’ll let her know you won’t volunteer anymore,” Jordan said.

Alex was quiet and turned to face Jordan. “Any word on Shadow?”

Jordan got up and walked his coffee cup over to the sink. He stood next to Alex. “I spoke with Emily, his surgeon. She said he was coming out of the anesthesia, and his vitals were getting stronger. We gave him extra blood and plasma to help with what he lost. He may be out of the woods, but he has a long road ahead for recovery. He sliced a tendon in his paw, so he will most likely not regain full use of it and will have a permanent limp.”

Alex smiled and turned his body toward Jordan. “As a volunteer, could I help with Shadow’s recovery and rehab?”

Jordan smiled at the possibility of seeing Alex every day at the clinic. “Yes, if you would like to volunteer to help in his care and rehab, we can train you with everything you need to do for him. Is that what you want? It is an enormous commitment. We need our volunteers to work here fifteen hours a week. This allows them to be here enough to know our operations and procedures.”

“Yeah… Yeah, I would be grateful if you would give me the opportunity. I don’t have a lot going on right now, and I have the time to commit to helping him recover. I also have a good reference if needed,” Alex said playfully.

Jordan smiled. “We are kind of hard up right now, so I guess when you’re desperate, you take whoever you can get.”

Alex’s face looked appalled, but he smiled and said, “Oh, okay, so this is how you’re going to be, huh?” He laughed as he held out his hand to shake Jordan’s.

Jordan reached out and shook his hand, admiring his firm handshake. “Welcome to Pawsitive Vibes, Mr. Bennett.”

Chapter 5

Alex

Alex was uneasy after changing his routine with minor consideration. Since his discharge, the doctors had set him up on daily and weekly routines to help him better cope with civilian life. Over the last year, he needed to weigh all the options and plan the changes in his life before attempting something drastic, like volunteering at a clinic. It took him three months to weigh the advantages and disadvantages before deciding to move to Brookings, and he extensively discussed it with his therapist.

He had experienced a sense of normalcy by doing as they instructed. After leaving the military, he was a panicked mess. His routines had ensured his safety this year, albeit lonely.

I should have taken the time to deliberate if this was a decision I wanted.

With little thought, he had opted to become a volunteer at Pawsitive Vibes. The place exuded an upbeat and cheerful vibe. He had not forced this many fake smiles on his face in a year like he had been doing in the last hour. What was going on in his head?

“Is everything okay, Alex?” Jordan asked.

Alex averted his eyes briefly, then locked eyes with him. “As part of my treatment, I need to consider the impact on my mental health carefully when making any changes to my routine. The decision to volunteer happened quickly. Ever since an uninvited German Shepherd stopped by, things have been a little crazy.”

A genuine smile spread across Jordan's face. “Alex, you would be a great addition to the clinic. I can see that you are kind and have a good heart. Based on what I know from your aunt, you are brave, strong, and a man of integrity. How about we do this as a trial? If you realize it's not your thing, you can tell me. Take it easy, no pressure.”

There was a brief pause as Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Thanks, Jordan.” Alex smiled back. “That sounds like a plan.”

Then, he recalled the task that had nearly slipped his mind—the one that necessitated the volunteering in the first place.

“I’m ready to call Shadow’s owner. Is now a good time?” Alex asked. He was slightly apprehensive, but knew it needed to be done.

Jordan, who was leaning against the breakroom counter, straightened up. “Sure, let’s head over to the office area. I’ll show you how to use the system,” he replied, then led the way through the clinic.

Alex was immersed in the clinic’s environment as they walked. The sound of a whimpering puppy and the clinking of sterilizing tools echoed from afar. The noise made him uneasy.

Upon arriving at the office area, Jordan pointed to a cubicle with a computer. "We can use this station for the call," he suggested, pointing to the chair.

Alex regarded the small office chair with a hint of doubt. Approaching it, he looked like a linebacker sizing up a child’s play set. Cautiously, he lowered himself into the chair. Under his massive frame, the chair emitted a chorus of creaks and groans. Finally settling into the chair, Alex looked up at Jordan, wearing a playful grin. “What’s wrong? Never seen a redwood tree try to cozy up in a flowerpot?”

Jordan couldn’t contain his laughter. It was a deep, hearty laugh that filled the cubicle. He touched Alex’s shoulder, shaking his head in amusement. “You know, we have a backhoe in the back of the property if you need a lift getting out of that chair.”

It was an unexpected comfort for Alex when Jordan’s hand rested on his shoulder. A small wave of emptiness washed over him as Jordan withdrew his hand. He turned his attention to the computer, the lightness of their banter giving way to the gravity of the task.

With a deep breath, Alex refocused. He readied himself to make the call. He felt a renewed sense of purpose bolstered by the moment of fun they had shared.

Jordan leaned over the computer. His fingers deftly navigated the system, bringing up the login screen. “Log on, and then I’ll show you how to pull up the owner’s information from our database.”

Alex pulled a paper from his back pocket and entered the login credentials. The screen came to life. Many icons and folders scattered the digital landscape. Jordan’s hands reached over Alex’s shoulder. Jordan pointed to the icon to click for the owner’s information.

“Here you go,” he said after a moment, stepping back. “In the dog’s name box, type in Shadow and today’s date—that will pull up the file with his owner’s details.”

Alex nodded, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

“Thanks,” Alex said, his voice steady despite the fluttering in his stomach.

“No problem. Once you tell her the news and what happened, hand the phone to me. I can talk to her about his medical prognosis,” Jordan said.

The owner’s name, contact number, and even a brief note about Shadow’s service dog training appeared on the screen. Alex’s hand reached for the phone, determination washing over him. This was a mission. He had to think of it that way. He had to get his head in the game.

With the desk phone in hand, Alex dialed the number for Stephanie Miller, Shadow’s owner. He took a deep breath, his fingers trembling as he held the phone to his ear. Jordan stood by his side, offering silent support as they waited for the call to connect.

After a few rings, a voice on the other end finally answered, albeit somewhat curtly. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Alex began cautiously. “Is this Stephanie Miller?”

“Yes, who’s asking?” came the somewhat icy reply.

“My name is Alex,” he started. “I found your dog, Shadow. I’m calling from Pawsitive Vibes Animal Clinic in Brookings, Oregon.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end, and Alex could sense the tension. Stephanie seemed surprised and guarded. “What’s this about? How did you find my dog?”

Alex summarized the events leading to their call. He recounted how Shadow had crashed through his bedroom window and injured himself. He also described the surgery he’d undergone.

Finally, she spoke, her tone softening slightly. “So, he’s alive?”

“Yes,” Alex confirmed, “but he’s in pretty rough shape. He is strong, and they’re doing everything they can to help him recover.”

Stephanie hesitated, her voice cracking with emotion. “I... I haven’t seen him in almost two years. I didn’t even know he was in Oregon. He was with my father.”

Alex could sense her anguish. “Is your father his owner, then?”

There was a pause on the line.

“I bought the dog for my father two years ago because he was having issues staying on his meds. He was going through a tough time. The VA put him on a waiting list for a service dog. So, I found a place with them and bought him for my dad. My dad was not happy at first, but after a few days, they bonded, and everything seemed okay.”

Another extended silence followed. “My father and I have not had the best relationship in the last five years. We had a huge fight about two years ago after I got the dog for him, and my dad left. I know he moved to California for a time, and then I heard from a family member that he moved to Utah. I don’t know why the dog is in Oregon. It didn’t work out, I guess, and he pushed him away, too.” She sounded genuinely defeated.

“Your father was a veteran?” Alex asked, his voice cracking a little.

“Yes, he served in the Marines and was stationed in Kuwait. When he came home, he was never the same. I was hoping the dog would help with that. We fought about his care—he’s very stubborn. He finally accepted the dog as a gift. He named him Shadow because he said he has seen the world through shadows since he returned home… it broke my heart.” Stephanie got quiet, and Alex felt very uneasy. He paused and considered his words.

“Stephanie, I, too, am a veteran, and ever since I came back, I have had difficulty adjusting to civilian life. I’m trying. Hell, I’m trying hard. Every day is a struggle. Each day gets a little better, and I remain hopeful that I’ll find my way back out of the shadows one day. Don’t give up on your dad. I have done my share of pushing people who care for me away, so I get it. I’m fortunate that I have a very stubborn aunt who refuses to accept my shit. So, my best advice is to remain hopeful. Would you like to come see Shadow?” Alex asked.

There was another pause before Stephanie replied, her voice tinged with sadness. “I can’t. I’m across the country, and... well, I can’t afford any vet bills that involve any surgery. Is there someone I should talk to about this? My circumstances have changed since I bought him, and I can’t afford more bills. 

Looking up at Jordan, his eyes shallow and sad, Alex said, “Don’t worry about vet bills. Someone is taking care of everything. You won’t have to pay anything.” Alex looked at Jordan for approval to say that, and Jordan nodded.

Stephanie said quietly, “I don’t know what to say. What should I do now?”

Alex looked at Jordan. “Stephanie, the doctor caring for Shadow is next to me. Can I put him on the phone so he can explain what is going on?”

Stephanie agreed, and Alex extended the phone to Jordan. He reached out to take the phone. Alex was relieved, and a bit shaken, after the call.

Jordan began speaking. “Miss Miller, hello. My name is Dr. Williams, and I’m currently treating Shadow.” There was a pause while he listened. “I can tell you we removed all the glass, causing no damage to major organs. He had a lot of blood loss. Some tendon damage injured his left front paw. If his recovery and rehabilitation go well, he should fully recover. But he will most likely have a permanent limp.”

Alex sat there thinking about Stephanie’s father. He understood seeing the world through a shadowy lens of war.

Jordan continued speaking, “Yes, that is correct.” A momentary pause. “Yes, no, are you sure you want to do that?” There was a longer pause this time, and Alex was getting very anxious. “Okay, I understand. Would you like me to call you with updates?” Jordan listened, and there was another long pause. “Okay, thank you, Miss Miller. Yes, I’ll tell him. Thank you, goodbye.”

Jordan paused a moment and then hung up the phone. Alex watched him as he rubbed his right ear, the one he used to talk on the phone. He was adjusting his hearing aid. 

“What did she say?” Alex asked.

Jordan got frustrated with his hearing aid, yanked it out, and violently put it on the desk. “I hate these damn things,” he growled.

“She said that she can’t afford vet bills,” Jordan continued. “If he makes it through, she wants to sell him as a service dog and use the money to cover the costs. She doesn’t want to accept any charity and has no other resources to help him. She asked if you would be willing to make all the decisions about his care. She can’t at this time. She said you sounded like you need someone to care for and wished she was as strong as your aunt.” Jordan reached out and touched Alex’s shoulder.

Alex was visibly shaken by what Jordan had just told him. “Me, decide? No…. No. I can’t even get out of bed some days. I will not take responsibility for him when I can’t even take care of myself.” Alex’s words were low and without emotion. He stopped and stared at Jordan’s stethoscope.

After a few moments, Jordan spoke. “Hey?” He lowered down beside the chair and spoke in a soft voice. “I’m sorry for what you’re going through; I didn’t know.”

Alex looked at Jordan from the chair. “It’s okay. Aunt Lynn is a force of nature—she’s helping me get settled, and she helped me get into therapy again.” Alex said, with a hint of embarrassment.

Jordan rose and looked around to see if anyone was nearby. Then he bent back down and whispered, “Listen, this stays between us. There is no judgment here. I’ll help with Shadow’s recovery. She just placed a considerable amount of responsibility on you. But I promise. I’ll be there for whatever help you need. You won’t go through this alone, and I’ll do as much or as little as you need me to. Are you up for it?”

Alex waited a moment before responding, glancing at the discarded hearing aid on the desk. He looked at Jordan and said, “Yes. Thank you. Your help and discretion are very thoughtful.”

Jordan reached down and said, “Just a sec while I put the pesky ‘ear gadget thing’ back in place. God, I hate these things.” Alex smiled and laughed.

Alex was ready to get up as Jordan put his hearing aid back into his ear. After a moment, he looked up at him and said, “Hey, Jordan?” Jordan looked down at him. “Can you help me get my ass out of this steel vice?”

Jordan laughed, placed his foot on the chair’s legs above the wheels, and held the back of the chair. With great effort, he held the chair still as Alex pried his massive body ass out of the chair.

As Alex stood, the weight of responsibility hit him like a freight train, and he huffed. He was now responsible for Shadow, a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Was Stephanie right? Does he need someone to care for? How can he care for something or someone else when he can’t even care for himself? He shook uncontrollably, he went pale, and everything started spinning.

Jordan recognized what was happening and grabbed his forearm tightly. He started talking in a calm, low voice. “Hey, breathe. Feel my hand on your arm, and think about the pressure of my grasp. Breathe. Feel the pressure soften. Breathe.” A few moments of different amounts of pressure and breathing, he felt better. “That’s it. Look at me. Breathe.” Alex was standing, pale and embarrassed.

“Where did you go?” Jordan asked.

Alex looked into his caring eyes. “Where did you learn to do that?” He paused before answering Jordan’s question. “Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed, I withdraw into my head, and it has led to some pretty awful panic attacks. It hasn’t happened in public in a while because I stay home a lot. I can’t wait until that part of my ‘PTSD journey,’ as my therapist calls it, is over.” With a hint of uncertainty, he said, “There’ve been a lot of changes in the last eight hours. I guess I’m having trouble processing it all.”

“I used to have no difficulty hearing as a child,” Jordan recalled. “When I first realized that my hearing was gone, I used to have panic attacks. I had an incredible teacher who knew what to do. She would grab my arm at the beginning of one and apply varying pressure. The intention was for me to connect the easing of pressure with the emotional pain leaving my body.” Jordan smiled and continued.

“Alex, I’ve known you for a long time... we’re going on almost five hours since we met.” Alex smiled at Jordan’s attempt at humor. “But as impressed as I am that you can throw tanks, I’m more impressed because I see a man in front of me who is stronger on the inside than on the outside.”

Alex didn’t like the praise. He wanted to lighten the mood and take the focus off of himself, so he laughed, looked at Jordan and said, “Man, do I have you fooled. I admit, though, I am pretty ear-resistible.”

Jordan looked stunned. “You didn’t just say that.” Laughing loudly in the cubicle, he added, “You are too vanilla for ear puns, He-Man.”

Alex laughed, a genuine belly laugh. He had not had that type of laugh in a long time. He didn’t know why, but Jordan made things seem lighter.

“Okay, rookie, now that we have that call out of the way, let’s go back and check on Shadow.” Jordan stepped out of the cubicle, and Alex paused for a moment.

Alex grabbed his arm, looked at him, and said, “Hey, in all seriousness, thank you. You are pretty amazing, and I’m grateful for your help.”

Jordan held out his fist, and Alex fist bumped it. Still grasping his arm, Jordan said, “You are very welcome, Alex.”

Chapter 6

Jordan

Jordan’s memories surfaced as he walked silently next to Alex, the intense emotions radiating from Alex’s panic attack mirroring the turmoil in his own past.

He was nine years old again, back in his childhood home, where everything had started to go wrong. It began with small moments, ones that seemed insignificant at first. His mother’s calls from another room often went unanswered, and he found himself straining to catch his teacher’s instructions amidst the classroom chatter.

His mother, always attentive and loving, noticed these subtle changes. She saw the way he turned his head to hear better, the way he squinted in concentration when someone spoke to him. Concerned, she took him to various doctors, hoping for a simple explanation, a quick fix.

But as the weeks passed, the reality of Jordan’s condition became impossible to ignore. His hearing was deteriorating rapidly. Conversations that once flowed easily now sounded like distant murmurs. The vibrant sounds of the world—the laughter of friends, the melodies of his favorite songs, the rustling of leaves—faded into an indistinct hum. He felt like he was trapped behind an invisible barrier, isolated from the world he once knew.

After five months of countless tests and doctor visits, the diagnosis came: congenital hearing loss. Jordan’s hearing had fallen to the fifty-decibel range, making him hard of hearing. It was a relief to finally have an answer, but it also brought a profound sense of loss. The world he knew was gone, and his place in it felt uncertain.

The impact of his hearing loss was far-reaching, especially in his education. School, once a place of learning and discovery, turned into a battleground of confusion and frustration. His teachers, unaware of his condition, often misunderstood his inability to follow directions as defiance or lack of intelligence. They thought he was being stubborn.

When he started wearing hearing aids, the situation worsened. His teachers treated him differently, giving him simpler assignments and making allowances that made him feel singled out and inferior. His classmates were even worse, treating him like an outcast. He was no longer just Jordan; he was the boy with hearing aids, the boy who was different.

The pain of this isolation was immense. Jordan’s self-esteem plummeted. He felt like he was a burden to his family, especially his parents, who were struggling to come to terms with his condition. His father, a stoic and hardworking man, didn’t know how to handle the situation. He was used to solving problems, but this was something he couldn’t fix. His frustration often turned into anger, which only deepened Jordan’s sense of guilt and worthlessness.

His mother tried to be a pillar of strength, but Jordan could see the worry etched on her face.

The way her hands trembled when she thought he wasn’t looking. She was his rock, but even rocks can crumble under enough pressure.

Jordan hated his hearing aids. They were a constant reminder of his difference, a visible sign that he wasn’t like everyone else. The discomfort they caused was unbearable. By the end of each school day, his ears were raw and aching. He tried different models, consulted various audiologists, and practiced rigorous hygiene, but nothing seemed to alleviate the pain.

The doctors explained that his ear canals were sensitive and prone to inflammation. The friction and pressure from the hearing aids exacerbated the issue. They recommended taking regular breaks from wearing them and suggested switching to aids made of softer materials. But even with these adjustments, the pain persisted.

One doctor had the nerve to suggest that the pain was psychological, a diagnosis Jordan dismissed outright. His pain was real, both physical and emotional. It was the cost of staying connected to the hearing world, a world that had become a source of both agony and necessity.

As he grew older, Jordan learned to cope with his condition, but the scars remained. The hearing aids became a symbol of his struggle, a reminder of the ridicule and isolation he endured. Yet, he continued to wear them, knowing that they were his bridge to the world of sound.

Now, as he walked next to Alex, he couldn’t help but reflect on how far he had come. The pain was still there, a dull ache that he had learned to live with. But he had found a purpose in his work, a reason to keep going despite the discomfort. Providing care and healing to animals gave his life meaning, and in their silent companionship, he found a sense of peace.

Jordan glanced at Alex, who was lost in his own thoughts. He understood the weight of silent suffering, the burden of feeling different. And in that shared understanding, he felt a connection, a bond forged through the trials they had both faced. He squeezed Alex’s shoulder gently, offering silent support. They were both survivors, finding their way in a world that had tried to push them to the edges.

As they walked through the halls in silence, Jordan felt a glimmer of something he couldn’t describe. Despite the pain and the challenges, he and Alex faced, he knew that both of them would continue to fight, finding strength in their shared journey. At that moment, the world felt a little less isolated, a little more hopeful.

As they entered the recovery room, the sight of his amazing co-workers, and a restful Shadow lifted his spirits. When Emily saw Alex, Jordan saw her professional demeanor falter momentarily. Though she quickly regained her composure, Jordan noticed. He thoroughly planned to use it against her later. He thought the subtle blush on her cheeks was cute as she flustered at the handsome man next to him.

“Hello,” she greeted them with a friendly smile, introducing herself. “I’m Dr. Emily Rodriguez.” She directed their attention to Shadow. He lay on the examination table, resting peacefully.

“Shadow made it through the toughest part,” Emily explained. “We stopped the bleeding, and his vitals are low but stable. We are keeping him sedated for now to help him recover.

Jordan nodded, relieved to hear the good news. “That’s great to hear. Thank you for all you have done for him.”

Emily smiled, “We’ve administered antibiotics as well, to prevent infection. We’ll watch him closely as he wakes up, but for now, I feel comfortable saying that he is going to make it, but his recovery is going to be hard.”

“We will help him get through this.” Jordan turned to Alex and gestured toward the nurse. “Alex, I’d like you to meet Rebecca, our head veterinary nurse, and my best friend.”

Rebecca smiled warmly at Alex as she extended her hand. “Nice to meet you, honey. Is today your first day as a volunteer?”

Alex chuckled nervously. “Yeah, I just completed my onboarding.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

Jordan introduced Alex to the rest of the medical team in the recovery room. “Everyone, this is Alex Bennett. He’s the one whose bedroom window Shadow crashed through this morning.” 

Emily nodded. “Your quick response and the way you tied off his bleeding likely saved his life.”

Alex looked down. “I was just doing what I could. Thank you all for taking such good care of him.”

“We just spoke with Shadow’s registered owner,” Jordan chimed in. “She said that Shadow is her father’s service dog. She and her father have become estranged, and she doesn’t know why Shadow is in Oregon. She specifically requested that Alex oversee Shadow’s primary care while he’s at the clinic.”

Emily nodded. “That’s a unique request and a lot of responsibility.” She looked at Alex. He returned her gaze and nodded with a forced smile. It was an even faker show of confidence that appeared awkward.

Rebecca chimed in. “Alex has already shown that he cares for Shadow. The request makes sense to me. We both think Shadow wouldn’t have made it if Alex hadn’t slowed the bleeding.” She continued, “Now that I see you, I understand where all the big ass t-shirt bandages came from. You have great taste in T-shirts. My favorite was, ‘I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.’ I’ll write that to a few family members in my Christmas cards this year.”

They laughed, and Alex looked a little embarrassed. He replied, “When I was overseas in the Army, my best friend’s wife had a t-shirt business. She found a great shirt that fit my body type. He would tell her stuff about me. Then she would write sayings on them and send them to me in his care packages.”

Emily snickered. “Ah, that explains the shirt. ‘Meat shield, who better protect my husband?’” They all laughed again, but Alex went a little pale.

Alex replied, “Yeah, that one is special. He made me wear that under my uniform when we went on missions.”

Alex became stiff and guarded. He recovered quickly with a fake smile. It was barely noticeable, but Jordan was an expert at faking it through the day. He could spot a fellow faker of happiness a mile away.

“Alex signed up today to be a volunteer at the clinic. He wants to work with Shadow to help us with his care and to help him with his recovery,” Jordan said to the team.

“That is very sweet of you, Alex. Shadow is strong and will need extensive care over the coming weeks. He won’t regain the full use of his front left paw. The glass caused tendon damage. He will be able to put pressure on the leg with therapy, but he’ll likely have a permanent limp,” Emily explained.

Jordan noticed a sense of sadness coming from Alex, and he made eye contact and smiled at him. “He’s going to be okay, Alex, and we’re all here to help him and you get through this. Right, ladies?”

Rebecca replied, “That’s right. We’re a teaching clinic, so we will help you learn all the skills you need to be a top-notch animal caregiver. You want to help me move him from the recovery room to the kennel area and settle him, honey?”

Alex’s mood seemed to change instantly, and he perked up. “Yeah, I would love to help.”

Jordan looked at Rebecca and said, “Thanks, Becks. I’ll leave both of them in your capable hands.” He looked at Alex. “You get him settled. Once you’re done, let me know, and we can meet back up to review his treatment plan.”

Alex nodded. “Sounds good, thanks.”

Jordan and Emily began walking toward the office area together. Their early morning wake-up calls exhausted them. They both seemed comfortable walking together in silence down the hallways.

Once they reached their side-by-side offices, Emily said, “Are you doing okay? You seem like you’re in pain. You’ve had a lot of cases today, taking on my appointments while I was in surgery. Why don’t you go into your office for a while and take them out?” Her concern meant so much to Jordan.

He replied, “Yeah, I will. My ‘eavesdropping buddies’ and I are not getting along well today.”

Emily looked at him. “You take some time. Luckily, we both have a pretty light schedule this afternoon. Elijah moved some of our appointments to tomorrow because we started early today.”

Jordan nodded. “He is a godsend. I’ll thank him for taking that initiative. Thanks, Em, for everything.” He reached out and gave her a hug.

“You’re welcome. We did good today! I’ll print out the picture of Shadow I took earlier and hang it on the wall of miracles. It was touch and go with him for a while on the table, but he pulled through,” Emily said.

He nodded, smiled, and walked into his office. As Jordan sat down at his desk, he carefully removed his hearing aids, and a sense of relief washed over him. The tiny devices had caused him so much discomfort throughout the day.

He closed his eyes briefly, savoring the sudden silence that enveloped him. The constant, nagging pain that had built up over the hours subsided, allowing him to relax. The rawness in his ears gradually eased from the pain, and he could finally feel comfort.

Jordan took a deep breath in the quiet of his office, savoring the peace he found in this moment of respite.

Chapter 7

Alex

Alex glanced at the veterinarian as he left. He saw that Rebecca noticed his momentary distraction and tried to recover. 

She couldn’t resist a teasing smile.

“He’s quite a catch, isn’t he, sweetie?” she asked.

Alex blinked, surprised, and blushed, but he chuckled in response. “Yeah, he seems like a great guy.”

Rebecca teased Alex a bit more when she noticed his blush. “Aw, look at you,” she said with an affectionate grin. “I see the cookie monster scrubs he’s wearing caught your attention, huh?” Using her best Cookie Monster impersonation, Rebecca shouted, “Me want cookies!”, making Alex chuckle.

Alex rolled his eyes playfully, a faint smile on his face. “Alright, you got me,” he admitted. His stature made his awkwardness stand out even more. “But let’s focus on getting Shadow comfortable. We can discuss my love life—or lack thereof—later.”

With a shared laugh, they started to get to work with Shadow’s care. Rebecca spent the next forty-five minutes explaining the charting process to Alex and going over all that he had been through in surgery and what care would be needed.

“Okay, Alex, time to get Shadow prepped for transport,” Rebecca instructed. She guided him around the recovery table where Shadow rested and explained all of the tubes and wires connected to the recovering dog.

The German Shepherd had endured surgery. Now, post-anesthetic grogginess submerged him, with medications keeping the pain away. Alex moved around the padded recovery bed, each step tentative. Shadow’s form seemed diminished. Sterile white sheets and cold medical apparatuses filled the room.

Alex’s heart tightened as he took in the full sight of Shadow. He seemed so motionless and serene in his medicated slumber. Stark patches where the fur had been shorn off interrupted the sleek coat. Delicate bandages wrapped around his midsection, shoulder, and foreleg. They were stark and white and stood out against the black and brown of his coat. 

A soft beeping sound drew Alex’s attention to the monitor that showed Shadow’s vital signs. An IV line ran from a bag of fluids. It disappeared beneath the bandages on Shadow’s uninjured foreleg.

Alex reached out a hand, hovering just above Shadow’s head. He was afraid to disturb his rest, which was crucial to his recovery. Alex’s eyes welled up.

He remembered being on a similar table after the ambush. He was alone. He didn’t understand why he was alive and Brian was dead. Survivor’s guilt was difficult. He’d learned about it in therapy sessions. He still felt that it should have been the other way around. Given the opportunity, he would have switched places with Brian. He felt so alone and lost.

Shadow was alone and lost last night. Now, he lay on a recovery table. Alex felt a silent vow swell within him—to be there for Shadow as he healed, as he’d wished someone had been there for him.

He whispered, “Hey, buddy, it’s me.”

Shadow’s ear twitched at the sound of his voice, a slight movement, but one that sent a wave of relief through Alex. He gently touched Shadow’s head, not disturbing the bandages. The contact was a balm to his frayed nerves.

Shadow stirred slightly on the table. His eyes fluttered open to reveal a glaze of post-anesthetic confusion. But as his gaze met Alex’s, there was a flicker of recognition and he gave a soft whimper.

Alex stood by the bed, his gaze soft and tender upon the resting form of Shadow. A solitary tear slid down his cheek, carving a path through the day’s worries and fears. “You’ve got this, boy,” he murmured, a tremor in his voice. “You’re a fighter, and we’ve surrounded you with the finest care.” He came closer, his hand hovering inches from Shadow’s bandaged form. “And I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you.”

Rebecca stepped forward, but Alex hardly noticed. “He’s in excellent hands, Alex,” she whispered. “And it looks like he’s not the only one who’s strong here—determined to heal.”

Alex met her eyes, a wordless “thank you” in his glance. Together, Alex and Rebecca lifted Shadow onto a padded stretcher. They were careful of the bandages and IV lines. They covered him with warm blankets to ensure his comfort. It was a brief journey to the kennel area.

“Take it slow and easy, Alex,” Rebecca advised. Her experienced hands guided him as they wheeled Shadow through the clinic’s corridors. The soft sound of Shadow’s breathing was a constant reminder of their mission. They were still determined to care for him, even though it was difficult.

When they reached the kennel area, Rebecca welcomed Alex to Shadow’s temporary home. They lifted the padded mattress and slid it into the enclosed kennel, positioning Shadow comfortably. Rebecca repositioned and hung his IV bags on the wall beside his kennel. She moved the mobile electronic vital sign monitor next to the enclosure.

“He’ll need some time to rest and recover. We’ll keep monitoring his vitals. I’ll check in on him regularly,” Rebecca assured Alex.

Alex nodded, a mix of gratitude and concern in his eyes. “Thank you for everything, Rebecca. I appreciate your help.”

Rebecca smiled. “You’re welcome, honey, and don’t worry—he’s in excellent hands.”

Rebecca reached for a transparent plastic cone hanging on the nearby wall. It was the dreaded cone of shame. She held it up, giving Alex a knowing look. “Now, here’s the fun part. We have to put this cone on Shadow to make sure he doesn’t interfere with his recovery.”

Alex chuckled. “I’ve seen dogs wear those things before, but I’ve never actually had to put one on.”

Rebecca grinned. “Well, don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it. First, we need to slide it under his head gently.”

She approached Shadow, who was still groggy, in his large kennel. She slowly eased the plastic under his neck. Shadow blinked, unfazed by his new accessory.

“Now, this is the tricky part,” Rebecca continued. “We need to secure the damn thing so he can’t wiggle out of it.” She folded the plastic until it formed the cone. She held it in one hand and handed Alex a roll of medical tape with the other. “I’ll hold it in place. It shouldn’t be too snug, but it should be tight. You tape it up.”

Working together, they fastened the cone securely. Alex could tell Shadow was initially unsure about this foreign object around his head. But he seemed to accept his fate with a resigned sigh. Alex chuckled to himself. They both had the same deep, heavy sigh.

“Well, buddy, it looks like you’re officially a member of the ‘cone club’ now.” Alex laughed.

Rebecca joined in the laughter. “Exactly! He’ll get used to it in no time. And it’s for his own good, too.”

With the cone in place, they watched Shadow to ensure he was comfortable and adjusting. Satisfied that he was, Rebecca patted Alex on the back. “You did great. Now, let’s give Shadow time to rest, and I’ll check on him again throughout the day.”

Alex felt a sense of accomplishment as they walked away from Shadow’s kennel.

Rebecca stepped back from the kennel area door as they exited the clinic’s main hallway. Her warm smile never wavered. She reached up to give Alex a heartfelt hug. “Welcome to the clinic,” she said. “I’m happy to have you here.”

Alex returned the hug awkwardly, but with a genuine smile. “Thank you, Rebecca. I’m grateful that I get to be here for him.” Knowing that he meant the words brought a sense of uneasiness to him—it had been a long time since he felt close to anything or anyone.

She released him from her hug and stepped back, her eyes enthusiastic. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in. Now, go find Jordan’s office. You’ll want to head down that hallway,” she said. She pointed toward a corridor lined with examination rooms. “His office is the last one on the left. You can’t miss it. It has the single guy with a stick up his ass who isn’t dating anyone in it.”

Alex laughed, grateful for her guidance. “Great, thanks. I’ll go check in with him.”

Rebecca gave him an encouraging pat on the arm. “Sounds like a plan. If you have questions, ask anyone around. We’re like one enormous family here.”

With a friendly wave, Rebecca headed off to attend to her other duties.

As Alex made his way down the hallway toward Jordan’s office, a sense of anticipation built within him. Despite himself, he was eager to see Jordan again.

Alex paused in the doorway of Jordan’s office, taking in the unique setup for the first time. The room was a blend of typical office functionality and specialized adaptations. Each detail caught his eye.

He looked across the desk. A state-of-the-art video phone sat prominently. Jordan was on a call with his back to him. He could see that it had a high-resolution screen. The screen displayed virtual sign language interpretation and provided real-time captioning during calls to ensure Jordan never missed a word. Beside it, Alex saw a flashing light notifier attached to the phone. It emitted bright flashes to signal incoming calls.

His attention then drifted to a small device perched on the corner of the desk. It was a vibrating pager that Jordan could keep on him. He guessed it alerted him to someone at the door or a ringing phone with a discreet buzz. These subtleties likely allowed Jordan to maintain his autonomy in the workplace.

Near the computer, a TTY device lay ready for use. Alex had seen them in use overseas when one of his buddies he served with wanted to talk to his son, who was deaf. A large screen was mounted on one wall, which Alex recognized as a visual alert system.

Jordan had placed mirrors throughout the room, too. It was a simple yet effective way to stay aware of his surroundings. Jordan smiled at Alex in one of the mirrors and said goodbye to the person on the phone, whose name was also Alex. “Come on in.” Jordan’s excitement laced his voice.

Alex nodded. The office wasn’t just a workspace. It was also a declaration of independence. It was a tangible expression of Jordan’s determination. He wanted to thrive in a world that wasn’t always designed for him.

He couldn’t deny his attraction to Jordan. He wasn’t just drawn to him for his rugged good looks. He was also drawn to him for the strength, kindness, and empathy that shone through his eyes. It was a combination that left him momentarily mesmerized.

"Dr. Williams, it's as if you're being surrounded by Alexs today," he said, a playful smile tugging at his lips. 

Jordan laughed. “Yes, I am. Luckily, both of the Alexs in my life are welcome additions and not pains in the ass like the Marks in my life.”

Jordan reached for his hearing aids. He paused, his fingers hovering over them. Alex got his attention.

“You read lips, right?” Alex asked gently, taking a step closer. Jordan nodded. “Then you don’t need to put your hearing aids in for me. I’ll face you and speak slowly and plainly.”

Jordan nodded again, his smile widening, and left the hearing aids aside.

“Thank you, Alex,” Jordan replied. “I despise these damn things, or as I like to call them, ‘the banes of my existence’ that I have to endure.”

Alex sat down in the sturdy chair in front of Jordan’s desk and faced him. “I just wanted to let you know we safely settled Shadow in his kennel. Rebecca is amazing at what she does. She ensured he was comfortable and taught me how to put on the cone of shame.”

“That’s great to hear,” Jordan replied with a sincere smile. “Rebecca is a fantastic nurse—we’re lucky to have her here. Your help in today’s events made a big difference, too, Alex. I appreciate your quick thinking and the way you handled the situation.”

Alex smiled and nodded. Jordan proceeded to explain the post-surgery care plan for Shadow. Alex appreciated the detailed information about what to expect in the coming days.

“Thank you,” Alex said, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. “I want to do everything possible to make sure Shadow’s recovery goes well.”

Jordan continued to explain, “In the next fourteen days, we’ll need to watch Shadow closely. He’ll need to wear the cone to prevent him from licking or chewing at his surgical wounds. It will help prevent infections and allow the incisions to heal properly.”

Alex chuckled. “I would hate wearing that thing.”

Jordan smiled warmly. “They’re a bit of an inconvenience, but they serve an important purpose. We also need to make sure he doesn’t engage in strenuous activities during his recovery. No running or jumping for a while. We want to keep his heart rate and blood pressure steady.”

Alex nodded, fully committed to following the care plan. “Got it. No marathons for Shadow.”

Jordan continued, “We’ll also provide pain medication to keep him comfortable. Once we send him home with you in about a week, you’ll need to administer the medication as prescribed. And don’t worry—we’ll show you exactly how to do it. It’s crucial to check his incisions for any signs of infection or complications.”

Alex raised an eyebrow, a hint of fear in his voice. “Wait, I’m supposed to take him home? I thought you guys were the experts here.”

Jordan chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “Well, yes, we are. But don’t worry; we’re not sending you and Shadow out into the wild without guidance. You’ll be just fine.”

Alex scratched his head, trying to process this extra responsibility. “All right, I trust you. But you might need to teach me a few things. I can handle a lot, but I’ve never been a doggy nurse.”

Jordan smiled. “Of course. We’ll make sure you’re fully prepared to care for him at home. It’s a team effort, and I’ll be here every step of the way.”

Alex yawned then, and he realized he couldn’t hide the exhaustion in his eyes. He saw Jordan look at him with concern.

“Lip reading words is tough when you yawn and talk simultaneously, did you know?” Jordan poked fun. “You look like you could use some rest, Alex. Shadow is in excellent hands, I promise. Why don’t you head home, get some sleep, and come back in the morning? You’ve done more than enough for today.”

“You’re right, I could use some shut-eye. Thanks for everything, Jordan. I’ll be back in the morning to check on Shadow.”

Jordan offered a warm smile. “Take care. Shadow will be eagerly awaiting your return.”

Alex got up and shook Jordan’s hand. He left the office, and wound through the clinic’s hallways feeling exhausted and relieved.

As he neared the reception area, he spotted Rebecca. She was tending to some paperwork at the front desk. When she looked up and saw Alex approaching, she greeted him with a warm smile.

“Hey there,” she chirped. “Getting ready to leave?”

Alex nodded. “Yes, the good doctor said he has trouble reading lips when I yawn so much.”

Rebecca laughed. “That sounds like something he would say. Don’t worry about a thing here—we will make sure Shadow is well taken care of tonight.”

“My contact info is on the computer now. If anything happens or you need me, please call me anytime,” Alex said.

Rebecca nodded, her expression kind. “Understood. Take a break and get some rest.”

“Thank you, Rebecca,” Alex replied sincerely. “You’ve been a big help today. Please tell everyone at the clinic thanks for their hard work.”

Rebecca’s smile widened. “I will, honey.”

With a nod and a grateful heart, Alex bid Rebecca goodbye. Then, Alex stepped out of the clinic, looking forward to some much-needed rest.

As Alex stepped out of the Pawsitive Vibes Animal Clinic, he felt the warm sun on his skin. It was a stark contrast to the morning’s chaos. He made his way to his truck, a sense of relief washing over him as he approached the vehicle.

Sitting in the driver’s seat for a moment, thinking about today’s events, he started the engine and pulled out of the clinic’s parking lot. The soft afternoon sunbathed the picturesque coastal town of Brookings.

Driving down the winding roads, he decided it was time to call Aunt Lynn and let her know how things had unfolded. At a stop, he reached for his phone and dialed her number. He listened to the familiar ringing as he navigated the scenic route back to his rental house.

After a few rings, Aunt Lynn’s voice came through the line. “Hey, how’s everything going? Is the dog okay?”

Alex smiled at the sound of her voice, comforted by her presence even over the phone. “Hey, Aunt Lynn. He’s had surgery, and he is resting and recovering. The clinic staff is taking great care of him. They said it was touch and go there for a bit because of the loss of blood, but he’s a strong dog, and he will be okay.”

Aunt Lynn’s voice held a mix of relief and concern. “I’m glad to hear he’s getting the help he needs. And what about you? Are you okay?”

Alex chuckled softly. “I’m tired, but I’ll survive. I just wanted to call and let you know I appreciate you sending Jordan and the clinic’s team to my rescue.”

“Jordan is an amazing veterinarian. I knew he would do his best.”

Aunt Lynn listened intently as Alex recounted the day's events, including his phone call with Shadow’s owner and becoming a volunteer. There was a brief pause on the line as Aunt Lynn processed the information. “Well, that’s a difficult situation, Alex. I’m glad you could reach out to the owner. Let’s hope she chooses the right home for Shadow. I hope she doesn’t sell the dog until she figures out why her father doesn’t want or need him.”

Alex nodded, even though Aunt Lynn couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I hope so too. For now, the clinic is taking great care of him, and Jordan–he’s been accommodating.” He paused for a moment, then asked, “Aunt Lynn, why didn’t you ever tell me you opened the clinic? That’s such an amazing success, and I didn’t know.”

There was a soft chuckle on the other end of the line. Then Aunt Lynn replied, “Oh, honey, you’ve been through so much, and I know you love me. I didn’t want to burden you with all the details of my work. You were dealing with your recovery and rehabilitation.”

“I get that, Aunt Lynn, but I’m proud of you. You’ve achieved so much, and you’re helping so many animals and their owners. I feel bad for not knowing.”

“You never have to feel bad, sweetheart. I know how much you care about me, which means the world. Besides, you’ll see it firsthand now that you’re in Brookings. Especially now that you’re a volunteer at the clinic.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, I’m grateful they allowed me to volunteer there.”

“By the way, honey, I had a contractor over to the house this morning. I met him there, and he did a temporary fix on the bedroom window and ordered what he needed for the full repair. He said it would take a few days to get it fixed properly. While I was there, I cleaned up the glass. Oh my goodness, there was so much blood on the rug in front of the window that I had to throw it out,” Aunt Lynn said. “I also went shopping and stocked up the fridge since you clearly don’t know how to use a grocery store. You’ve been here for two weeks. I feel obliged to tell you that protein powder isn’t a food group. Why the hell is that container bigger than my car?”

Alex laughed. Aunt Lynn had always been very attentive and considerate to others. “You amaze me, Aunt Lynn—thank you for always caring for me. I’ll ignore the unnecessary bashing of my protein powder.” He paused with a smile. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome, honey. Your dinner is in the microwave—I just left your place about half an hour ago. You get some rest. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” Alex said, grateful for the special relationship he shared with her.

Chapter 8

Jordan

Jordan was still at his desk after a long and busy day at the clinic, diligently finishing up paperwork. The overhead fluorescent lights cast a stark white glow over the room, making him more aware of the late hour. After a final click of his pen, he capped it and set it neatly in its holder. He glanced around the office, ensuring that everything was in order. His computer screen displayed the day's appointments, now all attended to. He stood up from his desk. He stretched his arms overhead and felt the tension in his shoulders release.

The clinic was gradually winding down, and it was time to head home. He'd given his all to his furry patients, and it was time to recharge for another day of caring for them. He grabbed his overstuffed black backpack and slung it over one shoulder. Then he locked his office door and turned off the lights.

As he exited the clinic, the soothing sounds of nature greeted him. The tranquil atmosphere of Brookings offered a sense of peace that always eased his mind. There was a coastal breeze and an incredible sunset with orange, red, and purple hues tonight.

Jordan reflected on the day's events as he walked to his car. Shadow's surgery had gone well. The prospect of the German Shepherd's recovery filled him with optimism. He appreciated the support of his dedicated team, and Alex. Wow, Alex.

He was lost in a daydream when he suddenly jumped, startled by Alex leaning on the hood of his truck in the parking lot.

"Alex," Jordan greeted him. "I didn't expect to see you here. Is everything okay?" His heart raced a little, wondering why Alex had stayed behind.

Alex smiled warmly, pushing himself off the truck and faced Jordan so he could see his lips. "Hey, Jordan," he replied. "You left your car at my place this morning, so I thought you might need a ride back to get it. I didn't want you to have to deal with the hassle of getting a ride back to my house."

Alex's thoughtfulness took Jordan by surprise. Jordan laughed. “That's kind of you. In all honesty, I was walking to my car. I forgot I left it at your house.”

Alex shrugged as if it were no big deal. "It's the least I can do after all the help you've given me today."

Jordan smiled at Alex's gesture. "Thank you," he said. "I appreciate it."

Alex waved off the thanks. "No problem at all. I figured you had work to finish, so I didn't want to disturb you by coming in. I didn't mind waiting."

As Alex headed toward him, Jordan felt a spark between them. It was a simple act of kindness, but it spoke volumes about the person Alex was. Alex reached over and grabbed the backpack off Jordan’s shoulder. He hoisted it over his own like it weighed nothing. The gesture took Jordan aback. He turned around and started walking toward the truck. Then he opened the passenger side door for Jordan. Alex then opened the back door and put the backpack in the back seat. After closing the door, he walked around to the driver’s side. 

It surprised Jordan that the truck’s cab had such a warm smell of citrus and cedar. He couldn’t decipher if it was Alex’s truck or the man himself.

Alex started the engine as Jordan got in the passenger side. The truck's engine rumbling to life echoed through his racing heart. He settled into the seat, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within him.

Alex's return exhilarated him. It was bewildering. A thread of nervousness weaved through his thoughts. His undeniable attraction to Alex stirred him. It left him slightly off balance as he buckled his seatbelt and turned to face the front.

Alex turned to look at Jordan. "So, how was the rest of your day, Jordan?" he asked, making sure to face Jordan as he spoke.

Jordan needed to be steadier and more focused. He found himself reaching into the back seat to retrieve his hearing aids from his backpack. He decided it would be easier for both of them if he could hear Alex's words more clearly. He fitted them into his ears and adjusted the volume before turning to face Alex, their eyes meeting.

“My afternoon has been uneventful, thank you. Our admin cleared some of my appointments this afternoon so that I could get caught up. I’m putting the ‘wonder bugs’ in so you don’t have to face me. I don’t like to read the lips of people driving—I have an aversion to slamming into walls or old people,” he said dryly, then smiled. "What about you? How's your afternoon been?"

Alex's face lit up after discussing his best hour-long nap in months. He told Jordan about Aunt Lynn’s kindness—how she went shopping, made him dinner, and arranged for someone to repair the window. His enthusiasm was palpable.

“Linda is so sweet. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be in Brookings.  She was a relentless headhunter and I told her I couldn’t take the position several times.  Lucky for me, she was relentless. No one can tell her no. She hired many of the staff at the clinic from around the country, and the law firm paid for everyone's relocation fees.” Jordan laughed.

“I told her today that I felt bad that I have been so wrapped up in myself since I got out, that I had no idea of what she has been up to.” Alex stared into the distance.

As they drove, the sun set in the distance. It cast a warm, gentle glow across the landscape. The world outside seemed to fade away. They shared stories of Linda's kindness. The whole time, Jordan couldn’t help staring at Alex. He hoped he wouldn’t linger too long and get caught. When they arrived at Alex's house, both were smiling.

As Alex parked the truck in the driveway next to Jordan’s silver Jeep Cherokee, Jordan turned to him. “Thanks again for the ride, Alex.” He paused. “You made my evening a lot better.” 

Alex grinned. “Anytime. It was my pleasure. Are you hungry? She stocked my fridge.”

“Rebecca brought me food a couple of hours ago because she saw me working late, so I’ve eaten already. But thanks for the invite. Raincheck?” Jordan asked as he yawned.

“Yes, of course. You look tired. Be careful driving home, and I’ll see you in the morning. What area of town do you live in?”

“My house is on the clinic property. The clinic has twenty acres of land, and when Linda designed everything, she put a house back there for me,” Jordan explained. “It’s part of my compensation package to live there. My drive to work is only about six minutes. I usually run by the beach every morning before work, so I still end up with a commute. Although, it is Brookings, so the traffic isn’t bad at all.”

Jordan continued, “Do you run? I do about three miles on the beach and trails near Secret Beach every morning before work. You can join me tomorrow if you’d like.”

Alex laughed. “Running… um, sure I run. I don’t do it often because I tend to set my shorts on fire from the friction of my thighs rubbing together. As long as it’s not fire season, I’m down.” 

Jordan busted out laughing. “I will roll you down the hill if you combust. Make sure you wear those cute little Army running shorts you had on this morning…” Jordan gasped. “Shit, sorry, that was… shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“You think my shorts were cute?” Alex baited him, chuckling. Jordan turned a dark shade of red and looked at the truck's floor. He was mortified. He’d never been so forward with someone he just met before.

“Sorry, I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable,” Jordan said, a little defeated. 

Alex shifted in his seat, looking directly at him. He reached over, grabbed Jordan’s chin, and pulled his face in his direction so he could read his lips and hear him. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I work very hard on my fitness. I only eat the best nutritious foods. Rarely do I eat anything unhealthy. Yet, all day today, I have been craving cookies.” He tugged on Jordan’s Cookie Monster scrub shirt.

Jordan's heart skipped a few beats. He blinked in surprise, momentarily taken aback. A rush of emotions swirled within Jordan. Happiness bubbled up, mingling with gratitude and disbelief. He had spent so long feeling insecure about his hearing loss and the challenges it brought to his life. Hearing Alex express attraction for him felt like a dream.

A small, almost shy smile tugged at the corners of Jordan's lips as he turned his gaze toward Alex. "You... you mean that?" he asked, uncertain.

Alex nodded. "Jordan," he replied. "I admire you and genuinely enjoyed spending time with you today when no blood was on the floor. You're incredible, have the cutest chin dimple, and are hot."

Jordan's smile widened, and a warm flush crept across his cheeks. The knot of self-doubt that gripped his heart for so long loosened.

"Thank you, Alex," Jordan whispered. “That means a lot to me. I almost stuck myself with the morphine needle this morning because of you and those damn shorts. To be fully transparent.” The two men shared a moment of vulnerability and laughed hard.

Jordan and Alex exited the truck, standing by their parked vehicles. The gentle whispers of the ocean in the distance filled the air. The admission of their mutual attraction had created an unspoken understanding between them.

Jordan bid Alex goodnight with a soft smile, his heart dancing with a newfound sense of hope. He turned toward his Jeep, his keys in hand, ready to head home.

But before he could get inside the car, he felt a light touch on his arm. Alex reached out and pointed to Jordan’s phone in his hand. "Mind if I put my number on your phone? I thought you should have it so we can meet at the beach tomorrow morning," Alex said.

Jordan handed over his phone, and Alex quickly added his contact information.

"There you go," Alex said, handing the phone back. "Text me tomorrow and tell me when and where to meet you."

Jordan nodded. "I will."

Alex walked to his truck. He opened the back door and retrieved Jordan's backpack. Then, he carried it to the Jeep and placed it in the vehicle’s back seat.

"Thank you, I forgot about that,” Jordan said.

Alex shrugged. “Shoot me a text once you're home, so I know you made it okay.”

Jordan laughed. “Linda is definitely your relative!” 

Alex shrugged. “If she had her way, I would have had to call her every night from Afghanistan.” They both shared a genuine laugh.

Alex and Jordan had set their plans for the morning. They bid each other goodnight once more. As Jordan drove home, he couldn't shake the warmth and anticipation that had settled in his chest. The prospect of seeing Alex again at the beach brought a sense of excitement he hadn't felt in a long time. His insecurities and dark whispers came to mind as he got closer to home. The further away from Alex, the more his self-loathing consumed him.

Jordan made it home safely and sat in his driveway. Scrolling through the phone, he couldn’t find “Alex” listed among his contacts. It momentarily saddened him that Alex had not saved his contact on the phone. As he scrolled further, he laughed.

As he typed out a text to Alex, he chuckled.

Jordan: Really? 'Muscle Crush' as your contact name? First, I have seen bigger muscles on a bulldog named Penelope. Second, ‘crush’ is presumptuous, if not accurate! I’m home safe and changing your name to Alex on my phone. 

He then edited his contact name to read “Alex” and added the beaming face with smiling eyes emoji next to his name.

His phone chirped as he walked to his cabin, stopping on his front porch. He opened the text.

Alex: Oh, it’s on, Dr. Snarkypants. No one disses da muscles! I'm happy to hear about the accuracy, though. Good night, and thank you for everything that you did today.

Jordan blushed.

He put a heart emoji on Alex’s reply as he entered and closed the door. 

Then he spent the rest of the evening second-guessing himself for adding the heart emoji.

Chapter 9

Alex

In the night's stillness, a raw, visceral scream tore through the silence. It originated deep within Alex's tormented subconscious. The sound reverberated against the room's walls. Its chilling intensity seemed to hang in the air.

It catapulted Alex from the clutches of a nightmarish vision into a harsh reality. His heart thundered in his chest, a rapid drumbeat echoing the lingering terror of his dream. The room lay cloaked in an oppressive darkness. It was a stark contrast to the vivid horrors that had just plagued his sleep.

Sweat coated his forehead, each droplet a testament to the intensity of the nightmare. He gasped for air, each breath a struggle as he fought to escape the lingering grip of fear. The rapid pounding of his heart was a jarring rhythm in the quiet room. It reminded him of the thin line between dream and wakefulness.

As he lay there crying and trying to steady his breathing, the darkness of the room felt oppressive. The echo of his scream still seemed to linger, a ghostly reminder of the depth of his fear. Slowly, the shadows receded as he regained his bearings. The nightmare retreated into the corners of his mind. It left him in the quiet aftermath of its visit.

As he regained his senses, the nightmare's grip loosened, and Alex realized he was safe in his bedroom. He pushed the tangled sweaty sheets aside and swung his legs over the bed’s edge. His naked body trembled with the remnants of fear. 

He stumbled slightly in the dim light. He went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, trying to wash away the lingering terror. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes reflecting the turmoil of his dreams.

After a few moments, he composed himself as best he could and left the bathroom, heading to the kitchen. He flicked on the soft glow of the overhead light. Then he opened the refrigerator and reached for a water bottle. The cool liquid offered some relief to his parched throat.

As he stood in the dimly lit kitchen, Alex thought about the men he had lost. The memories of the ambush, the chaos, and the overwhelming sense of loss haunted him, even in his waking hours.

It’s your fault they died.  You should have saved them.

He leaned against the kitchen counter. He took a deep breath and tried to shake off the lingering unease of his inner dialogue. Even in the quiet of his own home, his memories had the power to awaken his deepest fears. He stared at the photos on his refrigerator.

You should have been stronger, he was counting on you.

With a heavy sigh, Alex realized he couldn't go back to sleep anytime soon. He sat at the kitchen table, bathed in the soft light, and let the stillness of the night wash over him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His bare skin felt the coolness of the wooden chair beneath him, grounding him in the present moment. He knew that, like many nights before, he needed to calm the storm of memories and anxiety that raged within him.

He began a meditation technique, one he had learned in therapy, with practiced ease. In his mind's eye, he pictured a serene place, a mental sanctuary where he felt safe and at peace. It was a beautiful beach, bathed in the soft light of dawn. The soothing waves gently caressing the shore filled his senses. A cool breeze rustled through the trees.

As he continued to breathe deeply, he imagined each breath as a cleansing wave. It washed over him and carried away the darkness and fear. With every inhale, he drew in strength and serenity. With every exhale, he released the tension and trauma that held him captive.

In this inner world, he felt a strong connection to nature. He felt it with the earth beneath him and the endless expanse of the sea. He allowed himself to absorb the healing energy of this imaginary place. He let it envelop him like a warm embrace.

As he meditated, his mind gradually grew quieter. The intrusive thoughts that had plagued him lost their grip. It was a gradual process, one that required patience and self-compassion.

With time, the vividness of the beach scene faded, but a lingering sense of peace remained. Alex opened his eyes, feeling a bit more grounded, a bit more in control. It was a minor victory, a respite from the turmoil that often consumed him.

He knew that his journey toward healing was ongoing and that the scars of war would always be a part of him. But in moments like these, in the quiet of his kitchen, he found a sanctuary. There, he could breathe, reflect, and find solace in the night's stillness.

After completing his meditation, Alex opened the cabinets in his kitchen. He revealed a neat row of pill bottles and supplements. His hand paused momentarily. He picked up the bottle containing his PTSD medication. He hated the feeling of dependency. But he also knew that it was a lifeline, a way to quiet the relentless demons that haunted him.

With a resigned sigh, he unscrewed the cap and swallowed the dose, chasing it down with a glass of water. He closed his eyes briefly, reflecting on the memories of his service. The loss of his brothers. The horrors he witnessed, woven into his daily existence.

Alex knew that the medication couldn't erase the past or mend the wounds of war, but it offered him a reprieve. It allowed him to face each day with a semblance of normalcy. It helped him keep the nightmares and flashbacks controllable.

He wanted off of them so badly. As he continued to line up the remaining medications, he felt ambivalent. They reminded him of his loss. But for now, he would take them as he had done every day since returning home, hoping to regain control over his life and heal the wounds that still ran deep.

Alex gradually transitioned from a neutral mind to a more positive and hopeful one. The thought of spending time with Jordan brought a smile to his face. He eagerly anticipated joining Jordan for their morning run, hoping the run and the companionship would clear his head and prepare him for the day ahead at the clinic. 

As he rummaged through his dresser drawers, he realized he had forgotten to do laundry. He had no clean shirts to wear on the run. 

He also realized that he only had one volunteer shirt for the clinic, which was sweaty. He had forgotten the others in the breakroom. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he remained determined to make it work.

He gathered the pile of dirty laundry and headed to the washing machine. He tossed the clothes inside, added detergent, and started the cycle. It would have to be a speedy wash. He hoped it would finish in time. Then, he could throw them in the dryer when he left to meet Jordan.

Alex prepared for his run as he waited for the laundry to finish. He slipped on a pair of army green running shorts and laced up his sneakers, then grabbed the pungent shirt that he wore yesterday to the clinic. The anticipation of spending more time with Jordan had boosted his energy, and he was eager to hit the road.

With a sense of excitement building, he glanced at the washing machine's timer. He knew he had to time his run perfectly. He wanted his volunteer shirt to be clean and dry before he headed to the clinic. The thought of seeing Jordan again motivated him to make the most of his morning workout.

Alex’s phone buzzed. He opened the text from Jordan. A meme showed two stick-figure runners side by side; one was slightly ahead of the other. The image's humor came from the stick figure on the right pouring coffee into a cup as they ran. Meanwhile, the one on the left struggled to keep up, spilling coffee everywhere.

Jordan: This is a race challenge. The winner buys coffee. 

Jordan: Morning, your favorite Dr. Snarkypants here. Do you accept? 

Alex’s face lit up with a smile as he read Jordan’s texts. He thought for a moment and responded.

Alex: Haha! Coffee race accepted, but I drink Chai!

The three dots on the phone moved, and his phone buzzed again.

Jordan: Chai—loser! Stuff tastes like grass!

Jordan sent his text along with the map location of where to meet.

Alex smiled as he typed.

Alex: Chai tastes nothing like grass. Are you thinking of Matcha? Someone needs to keep it healthy around here! Plus, I need that extra spice in my life.

The washer buzzer went off, and he put his clothes in the dryer.

Jordan: Matcha, Chai, all the same thing.  Don’t forget your running shoes—you’ll need them to keep up! #NotSoHealthyChoices #DonutsAreLife

Alex: Matcha and Chai are not the same! By the way, I used all my shirts as puppy bandages. So, I’m wearing the same shirt as yesterday and possibly the day before. Don’t judge me.

He grabbed his keys as the three dots moved.

Jordan: You know, deaf people heighten their other senses, like smell. Eww! #Stinky #ArmpitBouquet 

Alex: OK, fine. I’ll run shirtless. I don't want to offend all the handsome hard-of-hearing guys at the beach.

Moments later, he laughed. He got a meme of a tiny white poodle with overly enormous eyes bulging out of his head. Alex had a massive smile as he walked out the door.

His anticipation grew with each step he took toward his truck. He was looking forward to the morning run with Jordan.

The drive to the trailhead at Secret Beach was short, but it felt like an eternity to Alex. He replayed their conversations and interactions in his mind as he drove.

Pulling into the parking lot, Alex saw Jordan's Jeep already there, and his heart skipped a beat. He took a deep breath to calm his racing nerves. He parked his truck and climbed out, feeling the cool morning breeze kiss his skin.

With an effortless fluidity, he took off his musty three-day worn t-shirt — or was it four days? — which revealed his muscular torso. He threw the shirt in the truck and approached the trailhead. As he came around the corner, he saw Jordan standing there, waiting. 

Time seemed to slow. His eyes fell upon the man. Jordan stood in the soft, early morning light, looking even more captivating than before. The snug fit of his running clothes accentuated his athletic build. Jordan wore a welcoming smile. It served as a comforting lighthouse amidst Alex's turbulent stormy morning. His wavy brown hair danced in the breeze. His piercing eyes sparkled in the morning light. He wore navy blue shorts, a black tank top, and white running shoes. He was breathtaking.

As Alex approached Jordan, a rush of emotions washed over him. He felt nervous and exhilarated, like the moment before a mission. His heart raced at the anticipation of spending time with this man.

Their eyes locked as Alex closed the distance between them, and he couldn't help but smile. Jordan's presence was magnetic. It drew Alex to him. He hadn’t ever experienced anything so instinctive. It was as if the universe had conspired to bring them together on this picturesque morning.

Jordan had no shame as he eyed Alex up and down, then down and up again slowly with a big, goofy grin.

“I need to speak to Emily about changing the dress code for volunteers at the clinic. This works for me,” Jordan said. 

Alex replied. “Really? I met Mrs. Winston yesterday. Could she work these shorts the way I do?”

Alex turned around and bent over suggestively.

What is going on with me? I haven’t felt this light in years.

Alex watched Jordan laugh, blush and look away, look back, then look away again. “I love the different shades of blush that you turn,” Alex said. Jordan blushed again.

“Yeah, well, what can I say?” Jordan said, laughing. "People have told me that I’m cute and cuddly." Then his face was serious for a moment. “I don’t know what it is about you, Alex. You bring out words I have never felt I could have the confidence or courage to say to another person.” 

Alex smirked. “That’s good, Jordan. I find confidence sexy.” 

They wanted to stretch before their run. They found a spot on the trailhead, surrounded by nature's beauty. The fresh ocean breeze was invigorating, making their morning stretch even more refreshing.

Jordan started by extending his arms over his head, interlocking his fingers. Then he reached upward, elongating his spine. Alex mirrored Jordan's movements. Their synchronicity was an unspoken acknowledgment of the connection they were forming. He focused on breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly as he reached for the sky.

Jordan leaned forward. He kept his legs straight but not locked. His hamstrings and lower back stretched as he reached his fingertips toward his toes. Alex followed suit, his muscular body bending with resistance. The sensation of his muscles stretching was soothing and refreshing. As they stretched, Jordan spoke.

"I called the clinic earlier," Jordan said. "Shadow is responding well. He's drank water on his own, which is a positive sign. Emily's keeping a close eye on him."

Alex smiled. "That's great to hear. I hope he continues to improve. He deserves a chance at a happy, healthy life."

With their stretching routine complete, Jordan stirred up some friendly competition. He flashed a mischievous grin at Alex and said, "All right, Alex, prepare to eat my dust. The loser buys coffee, or in your case, that fancy grass you love so much."

"You're on,” Alex chuckled. “But don't underestimate my Chai power. It's pure liquid motivation!"

Alex looked at Jordan thoughtfully. “Do you run with your hearing aids in?” 

Jordan replied, “No, I usually run with nothing in my ear.”

Alex nodded. “Then take them out. I don’t think I can talk while we run, anyway. I’ll be too busy trying to get air and not die. Cardio and I are not on friendly terms. When I run on a treadmill at the gym, people stare at me because they think I have asthma,” Alex quipped. 

Jordan laughed. “Thank you, Alex. These 'irritating earpieces' are like your cardio to me." Then he gently pulled the hearing aids out of his ear and placed them in his shorts pocket.

Their playful banter added a touch of humor to the crisp morning air, setting the tone for their run. As they began jogging down the trail, the quiet of nature enveloped them. It contrasted with their earlier laughter and conversation. Each step they took was in sync, creating a rhythm. It harmonized with the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds.

The trailhead at Secret Beach was a picturesque starting point for their morning run. The path ahead was a mix of packed earth and natural obstacles guiding them through the lush forest. Birds provided a cheerful soundtrack with their melodious songs.

As Alex and Jordan jogged more, they plunged into the forest. Tall trees formed a natural canopy overhead. They filtered the sunlight and cast cool, soothing shadows on their path. The scent of damp earth and pine needles wafted through the air.

About halfway through their run, the trail led them to the edge of the coastline. The roar of the ocean greeted them, growing louder with each step. The forest gave way to a breathtaking view of the expansive beach at low tide. Waves gently lapped at the sandy shore. Seagulls soared overhead, and the tang of saltwater infused the air. Running along the beach, Alex enjoyed the soothing sounds of the waves.

As they ran, neither talked. Jordan looked calm and peaceful as he ran. Alex was breathing so hard that he scared the wildlife. Alex hated running, but today’s run was not awkward, not horrible. It was joyful with Jordan by his side. Jordan set the pace. It was the most fun Alex had in a very long time.

The last leg of their run took them back into the forested area, where the trail inclined uphill. Their muscles worked harder as they climbed. The sense of accomplishment and the camaraderie they shared made the effort worthwhile. As they neared the end of their route, their strides quickened, and the friendly race began. The anticipation was palpable. They exchanged competitive glances as the finish line loomed.

Jordan held the lead with about thirty feet left before the finish line. He was about to cross the finish line and glanced back.  He smiled at Alex, who was trailing behind. Alex suddenly grimaced. He clenched his thigh, his face wracked with pain. He grabbed his leg and bent to his knee, his breathing rapid.

Jordan halted and turned back, rushing to Alex's side. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.

Alex, still clutching his leg and wincing in apparent pain, looked up at Jordan with a sly twinkle in his eye. He laughed, revealing that his cramp had been a clever ruse. Then he sprinted to the trail's end.

Holding up his arms in victory and jumping up and down as Jordan followed with a grin on his face, Alex looked directly at him.

"I win!" Alex exclaimed, breathing harder than usual, flashing a playful grin.

Jordan couldn't help but laugh as well, realizing he had fallen for Alex's trick. "You ass! Fine, you win this one," he conceded, shaking his head in mock disbelief.

He reached down and ripped up a few blades of grass from the forest floor. Then he bowed in front of Alex with a huge grin, looking thrilled. "Your Chai, sir!"

Alex laughed and accepted his prize. “You’re still confusing it with Matcha!”

Jordan rolled his eyes.

I could get lost in those eyes.

The sun rose higher, casting a soft golden hue over the tranquil coastal landscape. Jordan and Alex stood near the end of their trail run. Their laughter from the friendly race lingered in the air.

Their eyes met, a silent understanding passing between them. The coastal breeze gently ruffled their hair. It carried the scent of the sea and the faint hint of pine from the nearby forest.

Slowly, their faces drew closer together, their breaths mingling in the crisp sea air. Alex reached up and cupped Jordan’s face as their eyes locked. Their lips met in a tender, sweet kiss. It was soft, a gentle exploration of feelings simmering beneath the surface.

He tastes like hazelnuts.

As they pulled away, their eyes locked again. Their smiles mirrored the joy they felt in each other's company.

Alex looked directly at Jordan. "Well, I didn't expect that, but it was nice."

Jordan was standing there, a mesmerized look on his face, looking into Alex’s eyes. "No one has ever kissed me all the way to my toes before."

Alex smiled, his lips still tingling from their kiss. Suddenly feeling uncertain, he looked at Jordan with concern and said, “Yeah, I know what you mean. I hope I didn’t overstep.”

Jordan chuckled, now recovered from the apparent shock to his entire nervous system. “Overstep? Believe me, Alex, you can overstep anytime you want.” He punctuated his words with a playful wink. The tension dissipated into a lighthearted exchange. It left them both grinning.

“I’m going to head home and take a shower. Hopefully, I’ll have a clean volunteer shirt that is dry by the time I’m ready to leave,” Alex said with a grin.

“You can come to the clinic shirtless—Mrs. Winston would love that,” Jordan said with a goofy grin.

Alex began the leisurely walk back to his truck, Jordan close at his side. The cool ocean breeze ruffled his hair. It played with the leaves on the trees, creating a calm backdrop to their shared post-run bliss.

Once they reached the parking area, they exchanged a last smile before parting ways.

“I'll see you at the clinic to check on Shadow?” Alex asked, his eyes filled with anticipation. 

Jordan nodded in agreement. “Yep. I'll meet you there. We can make sure our furry friend is doing well.”

With that, they each headed to their vehicles. The prospect of seeing Shadow and spending more time together made Alex’s steps a little lighter, and his smile a little brighter momentarily.

He deserves someone who’s not broken.

Chapter 10

Jordan

As Jordan drove home in his Jeep, the picturesque coastal scenery seemed to blur into a hazy background. Thoughts swirled within him like restless waves in a storm-tossed sea. The kiss with Alex had left a lasting imprint on his heart, filling him with warmth and desire. But it also stirred up a whirlwind of self-doubt that threatened to engulf him.

He glanced at himself in the rearview mirror.

"What does he see in me?" he whispered to the empty confines of his jeep. He questioned if he had anything to offer someone as solid and capable as Alex.

Jordan's sense of inadequacy had deep roots, and it tied in significant part to his hearing.

When he was nine years old, he began to lose his hearing but was too young to understand what was happening at first. He became the outsider, isolated by his ears. After a few years had passed, he grew self-conscious about his hearing aids because of the constant teasing and bullying.  Their presence constantly reminded him of being different and not fitting in. He struggled with speech therapy to maintain his communication skills.  His isolation became his safe space, leading him to question his worthiness.

Even as he pursued a career in veterinary medicine and found fulfillment in helping animals, Jordan couldn't escape the feeling that he deserved less love and connection.

As Jordan approached the main building of Pawsitive Vibes Animal Clinic, a warm sense of pride washed over him, momentarily pushing back the waves of self-doubt. The clinic was a beacon of hope for needy animals, a symbol of his hard work and unwavering passion for veterinary medicine.

The beauty of the property never failed to soothe his soul. Tall trees lined the gravel driveway leading to his home, their leaves whispering in the gentle breeze. As he approached his home, the tranquil atmosphere enveloped him—a cozy cabin nestled in nature's embrace. From the inviting wraparound porch, he could watch the sun setting behind the trees, casting a warm, golden glow over the landscape.

Jordan stepped into his house, the wooden floorboards creaking softly beneath his feet. The rustic charm of his home greeted him with warm familiarity, offering a sense of comfort that eased his earlier doubts. He closed the door behind him, shutting out the world for a while.

In the living area, the soft glow of morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle radiance over the room. The inviting aroma of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air, a reminder that a fresh pot awaited him after his shower.

He went to the bathroom, a beautiful space adorned with earthy tones, a doorless walk-in rain shower, and an old-fashioned clawfoot bathtub. He turned on the shower and looked into the mirror while he waited for the warm water to flow. Stripping off his clothes, he stretched his legs from his run. Once the water was warm, he entered the spacious shower. The vibration of the of water splashing against the tiles created a soothing ambiance, the water beginning to wash away the lingering traces of self-doubt. He reached for his shampoo, working it into a rich lather and then massaging it into his hair, cleansing away the worries that had clouded his thoughts.

He ran a gentle hand over his ears as the water flowed down his body. The warm water was a welcome relief, a reprieve from the tenderness of wearing his hearing aids daily.

The steam enveloped him, creating a cozy cocoon within the bathroom. Jordan let his thoughts drift, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he remembered the morning run with Alex. The warmth of their kiss lingered in his memory.

With a final rinse, Jordan turned off the shower and stepped onto a plush bathmat. He grabbed a nearby towel off the warmer, its softness a welcome comfort against his skin. As he left the bathroom, ready to face the day ahead, he felt a slight glimmer of hope that perhaps he was deserving of the happiness that had entered his life.

With a towel wrapped securely around his waist, he walked into his modest bedroom, where scrubs awaited him. German Shepherd puppies adorned the scrubs that he chose today. He smiled as he put them on, thinking of Shadow.

Heading to his kitchen, Jordan prepared a simple breakfast of eggs and oatmeal. The scent of coffee filled the air, mingling with the aroma of oatmeal on the stove. He wondered what Alex might have for breakfast today. Perhaps a hearty omelet or a bowl of fresh fruit. The thought of Alex's morning routine brought a smile to Jordan's face.

Once his meal was ready, he poured a cup of coffee, adding a touch of whole milk, and then carried his breakfast to the small dining table by the window. The view outside was beautiful, a glimpse of the lush trees surrounding his home.

After breakfast, Jordan cleaned up the dishes, put in his hearing aids, and grabbed his car keys. He had a short drive to the clinic, but it was a journey he looked forward to.

As he stepped out of his Jeep, Jordan's staff greeted him with warm smiles and greetings as they exited their vehicles. Sophia, the practice manager, was the first to approach him. She was a skilled professional, but her nurturing nature shone as she offered Jordan a hug.

"Morning, Jordan," she said with a kind smile. "How's your morning going?"

Jordan smiled back. "Morning, Sophia. So far, so good. I just finished my run and had an excellent breakfast, which always brightens my day."

Sophia's eyes lit up. “Good for you. I stopped running years ago—never really cared for it, and only did it to impress a guy, who I found out later was not worth impressing.”

Jordan laughed. "You crack me up, Sophia." Sophia smiled and headed for the side entrance of the clinic to the office area.

Rebecca joined in the conversation as they walked to the back entrance. "Jordan, your scrubs today are awesome!" she said, noticing the German Shepherd puppy pattern.

Jordan chuckled. "Thanks, Rebecca. Thought I'd bring some extra puppy love to the clinic today, for one puppy in particular."

Rebecca glanced at him with a mischievous look. “One puppy in particular or one muscle-bound puppy advocate?” 

Brenda and Lisa, two of the clinic's receptionists, chimed in, too.

“Oh my, you are blushing, Dr. Williams,” Brenda said. 

As Jordan looked at all three of them, he realized they outmatched him. Reaching for his hearing aids, he pulled them out gently and shouted, “I can’t hear you, nope, can’t hear a thing you’re saying!”

He walked quickly to the door to escape inside. Turning around, he saw the three ladies laughing happily in the garden area, pointing at him. Walking through the clinic's doors, he inserted his hearing aids back in his ears and walked toward his office.

Jordan entered his office, which reflected his personality—organized, efficient, and filled with reminders of the animals he cared for. He switched on the soft overhead light, casting a warm glow over the room. His first order of business was checking his schedule for the day.

As he reviewed the appointments, he smiled at the thought of seeing Shadow. Then his mind drifted to… that kiss!

After a glance at his emails, he responded to a few urgent ones and messaged Emily to get an update on the surgeries going on today.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about that incredible kiss.

It felt like he kissed my soul.

That is how deeply it resonated with him.

Jordan felt accomplished and decided it was time for a much-needed caffeine boost. He grabbed his favorite mug, adorned with a paw print on one side and a dog scooting his butt across the floor on the other with the words “express yourself,” and headed to the staff kitchen to pour himself a steaming cup of coffee. The comforting aroma filled the room as he took a sip, relishing the momentary respite.

And his mind drifted yet again to that amazing kiss.

His lips were so soft.

With his coffee in hand, he went to the kennel area, where he knew he'd find Daniel, who had been with the clinic since the beginning and was assisting with Shadow's care. Daniel had been working tirelessly, and Jordan wanted to catch up with him regarding Shadow's progress.

The kennel area was a bustling hub of activity, with various animals in recovery receiving the best care possible. Daniel meticulously checked on the patients, ensuring they were comfortable and well attended to. 

And all Jordan could think about was that incredible, amazing, damn kiss!

Jordan paused momentarily, feeling shocked, confused, and terrified. There was no specific name for the emotion he was feeling, so he chose all three. He realized he had to get his act together and wipe the dumb smile off his face.

Jordan approached Daniel with a dorky smile, radiating an aura of having just kissed a Greek God. "Morning, Daniel. How's our patient doing today?"

Daniel turned toward Jordan with a warm greeting. “Good morning, Jordan. Shadow's holding up, and Emily's keeping a close eye on him.”

“He looks like he’s resting comfortably.”

“We're optimistic. He’s still not eating. He has drank some water and has kept it down. There is no sign of infection, and we’re managing his pain. His left front paw has some minor swelling, but Emily isn’t worried.”

Jordan nodded. "Thanks for looking after him, Daniel. Keep me posted, and if you need anything, let me know. Is Emily in surgery?"

Daniel nodded. “She just went in about twenty minutes ago. She has three lined up today.”

Still radiantly smiling, Jordan nodded and walked out of the kennel area toward the office. Soon, he entered an examination room and addressed a young girl and her father, who nervously held onto a disgruntled black cat. The girl had tears in her eyes, her voice quivering.

"Dr. Jordan, I think Midnight is sick. She's been acting strange."

Once the father put Midnight on the exam table, he carefully approached the cat, maintaining a calm demeanor. As he reached out to examine Midnight, she hissed and swiped a paw at Jordan, scratching his right hand. Jordan winced but stayed composed, although the scratch stung more than he expected.

"Midnight seems grumpy today," he remarked, his voice soothing.

The young girl clutched her father's hand tightly, her eyes wide with worry. "Daddy, what's wrong with her?"

Jordan continued calming Midnight down, whispering to the cat. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Sometimes, cats get scared at the vet's office. Let me look."

Jordan could complete his examination after a few more minutes of careful handling with the father’s help. He smiled reassuringly at the girl.

"Well, it seems like Midnight has a minor ear infection that is causing some pain, but we can give her some medicine, and she'll be feeling better soon."

The little girl's face was sad, and she whimpered. He crouched down to her eye level and spoke gently. "I know it's tough to see your kitty sick, but the good news is that it's just an ear infection. Midnight will return to her normal self soon, thanks to the medicine I'll give you."

Hearing the girl's sadness, Jordan continued, "Ear pain can be uncomfortable. I wear these ‘pesky earplugs’ to hear, and sometimes, my ears get painful infections." He pointed to his hearing aids with a smile. "But when I take medicine and get treatment, I feel much better, just like Midnight will."

As he reassured her, she calmed down and hugged him. “Thank you, Dr. Jordan—I’m sorry you get grumpy, too,” she said. Jordan and the father laughed.

Jordan chuckled again, careful not to make sudden movements around the still-irate Midnight. "Just doing my job, kiddo. Now, let's get Midnight some medicine so she can return to being your feisty, lovable kitty."

The father held his hands to Jordan to show his battle scars from Midnight and whispered, “Help, this cat hates me, and I am in an unsafe living situation. Aren’t you a mandatory reporter or something like that?”

Jordan laughed. “Catnip, lots and lots of catnip. Or is it bourbon? One of the two makes living with a grumpy cat easier.”

The father reached out to shake Jordan’s hand and thank him for making the cat and his daughter feel better.

“I love this cat more than I will ever let my wife and daughter know.” He mouthed quietly so that Jordan could read his lips. 

Jordan nodded and smiled. “Carlos will be in shortly to administer drops in her ears and show you how to apply the medication. I’ll check in on you in a few days to see how she’s doing.”

The father and daughter thanked Jordan again, and he moved on to his next appointment.

Chapter 11

Alex

As Alex drove home from his morning run with Jordan, he replayed their time together in his mind. His happiness and excitement were undeniable but intertwined with fear and insecurity.

You don’t deserve happiness. You fail everyone who counts on you.

He parked his truck in front of his rental house and sat there momentarily, lost in his thoughts. He knew he was attracted to Jordan, and the feelings seemed mutual, but a nagging voice kept whispering doubt. Alex was haunted by his past—by the scars, both visible and invisible, that he carried with him. His PTSD had left him with emotional baggage that felt too heavy to unpack.

What happens when Jordan realizes how screwed up you are?

His grip on the steering wheel tightened. He feared that his traumatic experiences might scare Jordan away once he learned the truth about his struggles. Alex couldn't shake the belief that Jordan’s attraction was purely physical, and once the emotional scars came to light, Jordan would run in the opposite direction.

Alex took a deep breath. He didn’t know how to face these fears and insecurities head-on. He wasn’t strong enough. He had always relied on his physical strength. He was not mentally strong anymore, and that scared him more than anything.

How can someone so wonderful like Jordan ever care for someone so weak, who struggles daily just to get out of bed?

With a pitiful sigh, he exited the truck and headed inside to shower, hoping that the warm water would wash away the sweat from their run and some of the pain that clouded his mind.

That kiss, wow!

He sat on the edge of his bed, fully dressed after his shower and ready to start his day at the clinic. However, he found himself lost in thought, his mind drifting back to a painful memory with a fellow survivor, Patterson.

Patterson, like Alex, had survived the ambush that had taken the lives of three of their brothers. It had been a horrible experience, one that left deep emotional scars on both of them. But on that particular night, Patterson had turned to alcohol as a way to numb the pain.

Alex had found him in a small vacant room of the stateside VA hospital that they were transferred to, sitting on the floor, a bottle of whiskey in hand, his eyes bloodshot from crying. Patterson had been inconsolable, overwhelmed by the guilt and sadness that haunted him.

"Alex," Patterson had slurred, "I can't... I can't stop thinking about them, about what happened out there. Why did we make it out when they didn't?"

Alex sat beside him, placing a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know," he had said. "I’ve been asking myself the same question every hour since we arrived. But you have to remember, it wasn't our fault. We did everything we could to survive." He didn’t believe his words but needed to say them to his brother-in-arms.

Patterson had shaken his head, tears streaming down his face. "But it's not fair, Alex. They were good people, better than us. They both had families, kids, and futures—why did we get to live?"

Alex had wanted to offer his friend some solace, some words of comfort to ease his pain. But deep down, he had struggled with the same guilt and uncertainty. He had never been able to shake the feeling that they had somehow cheated fate and didn't deserve the second chance they had been given.

At that moment, he had wished he could honestly believe the words he spoke to Patterson. But he knew that the wounds of the past ran too deep, and no amount of reassurance could erase the haunting memories that continued to plague them both.

You lied to him, just like you lied to her.  You could have saved him.

Now, as he sat on the edge of his bed, Alex revisited that painful conversation with Patterson. The guilt and doubt still lingered, a heavy burden he carried daily. He knew he had to find a way to make peace with the past but didn’t know where to start. He heard the words of the therapists, or well-meaning clergy, of friends and family. He understood the process they explained that he needed to do to heal, but he couldn’t feel the words. He couldn’t breathe.

As he replayed those traumatic moments in his head, an overwhelming sense of dread began to wash over him, and his body started to react in a way he had experienced all too often—a panic attack.

It started with a sudden surge of adrenaline as if his body was preparing for an imminent threat. His heart rate skyrocketed, pounding loudly in his chest, and he could feel the blood rushing through his veins. His breathing became rapid and shallow, each breath a struggle, like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs.

His chest tightened, and a sensation of constriction seemed to grip his entire torso. He tried to take deep breaths, but it felt like an invisible weight was pressing down on his chest, making it challenging to expand his lungs fully. His throat felt tight, and he couldn't swallow properly.

Sweat began to bead on his forehead, and his palms grew clammy. His body trembled, and he felt a surge of heat spreading throughout him. Nausea washed over him, and his stomach churned with anxiety. The room seemed to close around him, and his vision blurred as if he were disconnected from reality as he fell to the floor.

All these sensations combined to create an overwhelming feeling of terror and helplessness. Alex knew that he was experiencing a panic attack, but it was as if his body had gone into survival mode, reacting to a threat that only existed in his mind.

Desperate to regain control, he tried to focus on his breathing. Slowly, he forced himself to take deep, measured breaths, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. It was a struggle, but gradually, his heart rate began to slow, and the tightness in his chest eased.

As the panic attack subsided, Alex was left feeling drained and emotionally raw. He lay on the floor and cried, memories continuing to haunt him, a constant reminder of the horrors of war.

After the panic attack subsided, Alex knew he needed to gather himself before facing the day ahead. He rose from the floor and walked to the bathroom, splashing cool water on his face to wash away the lingering traces of anxiety. The cold water helped ground him, bringing him back to the present.

He headed to the kitchen to prepare some food to help regain his strength. He wanted something comforting and filling, a meal to fortify him and help him face whatever challenges lay ahead. Today, he settled on a feast of protein pancakes, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, and a protein shake.

Cooking was relaxing to Alex, so he started by mixing the pancake batter and pouring it onto a hot griddle. This created flat protein pancakes that sizzled as they cooked. The sound was soothing, and it distracted him from the residual unease of the panic attack.

While the pancakes cooked, he turned his attention to the bacon, turning the strips in a sizzling skillet. The savory aroma of bacon filled the kitchen, making his mouth water. He watched as the bacon transformed into perfectly crispy strips, knowing they'd provide that satisfying crunch he craved.

In another pan, he scrambled the eggs. The rich, buttery scent in the pan of eggs filled the kitchen, mingling with the fragrant pancakes and bacon.

Plating his breakfast, Alex felt a sense of accomplishment. The sight of the hearty meal he had prepared boosted his confidence. He knew he had faced his demons this morning, and this small victory of cooking breakfast would not have happened a year ago. A year ago, he would still be on the floor in the fetal position, crying for most of the day. He was recovering faster now from these episodes, but he was still not where he needed to be to function in society and to be the man he once was. To be what Jordan thought he was.

Sitting down at the table with his breakfast spread before him, he took a moment to appreciate the simple joys of life -– the smell of food cooking, the warmth of the kitchen, and the feeling of a random kiss that shook his core. He savored each bite, knowing a good meal could soothe the soul.

He grabbed a backpack and carefully loaded it with various food and snacks. As he stepped out of his house and headed for his truck, he felt determined. The sun was shining, and the promise of a new day filled him with optimism. He got into his car, and the roar of the engine and the blaring sound of "The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters on the radio gave him a jolt of energy. With the music pumping through the speakers and a backpack full of sustenance by his side, Alex set off for the clinic.

He realized he had won the running bet to Jordan, so he stopped at the same cafe he had visited yesterday. He was determined to get Jordan his coffee and make amends for having a ‘winning at all costs mentality.’ This time, he ordered three dozen pastries to treat the clinic staff. He figured it was a great way to make a positive impression.

Entering the cafe with purpose, Alex stepped up to the counter and was greeted by a friendly dark-haired barista.

"Hey there! What can I get you today?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

Alex returned her smile. "I'll have a large coffee and three dozen pastries. A mix of everything you've got."

The barista's eyes widened with surprise. "Three dozen pastries? Wow, is that your secret to all of the muscles?"

Alex chuckled, a touch embarrassed. "You could say that."

While he waited for his order, the barista engaged him in friendly conversation, inquiring about his day. He left the cafe with boxes of pastries and Jordan's coffee in hand.

Alex arrived at the clinic's parking lot and noticed it buzzing with activity. The clinic's parking lot was filled with cars, and Alex had to find a spot toward the back. He noticed a school bus parked nearby and realized it was full of kids visiting the clinic. The kids wore bright yellow vests with "Student Volunteers" written on them.

As he approached the entrance, Alex saw children of various ages eagerly walking in and out of the clinic, some holding trays of food, others playing with puppies in the daycare area. The sound of laughter and excitement filled the air, creating a cheerful atmosphere. He smiled at the sight.

Carrying the bag of pastries and Jordan's coffee, Alex walked toward the entrance and through the double doors of the clinic.

The same friendly receptionist from the day before greeted Alex.

“Good morning, Elijah. How is your day going?” Alex said.

“Great, Alex. Welcome back,” Elijah responded, then reached for the ringing phone.

With a sense of familiarity, he made his way to the clinic's break area, where he intended to drop off the boxes of pastries. The breakroom was empty and immaculately clean. Alex laid out the boxes on the counter and found a marker in the drawer. He wrote on the boxes “Thank you for all that you poo for us” and drew little paw prints all over. He then wrote a little message on a napkin and withdrew a cinnamon roll from the box of goodies. Returning the marker to the drawer, he headed toward Jordan’s office with his coffee and the pastry.

Alex entered Jordan's empty office. He had a playful grin as he approached the doctor's desk, and his eyes wandered around the room. On the desk, he noticed a framed photograph of Jordan with a big, friendly dog. A stack of veterinary textbooks and medical journals sat neatly on a shelf beside the desk. Alex was impressed.

Turning his attention to a bulletin board on the wall, Alex saw a collection of notes, reminders, and photographs. There was a picture of Jordan with his clinic team, all beaming with camaraderie. On a smaller cork board nearby, there were a few handwritten motivational quotes. One that caught Alex's eye read, "The best therapist has fur and four legs." Another note made Alex laugh: "What does Santa Claus say when he loses hearing aids? ‘Huh? Huh? Huh?’”

As Alex placed the coffee and pastry on Jordan's desk, he realized that each item in the room offered a glimpse into the man he was growing increasingly fond of—a caring man who was passionate about his work, dedicated to his team, and deeply connected to the animals he cared for. It made Alex all the more eager to get to know Jordan better, both as a professional and as a person.

Chapter 12

Jordan

Jordan walked into his office, expecting to find it empty. However, as he stepped inside, his eyes widened in surprise at Alex standing there, casually examining the various items in the room. A playful smile tugged at the corners of Jordan's lips as he quipped, "I didn't know my next patient was Snoopy."

Alex chuckled, a twinkle in his eye as he turned to face Jordan. He pointed to the cinnamon roll on the desk and handed Jordan the cup of coffee. "I lost the bet from our run, so I’m paying my debt."

Jordan's gaze remained locked on Alex's lips, not for reading this time but for thinking about the sweet taste of their recent kiss. He felt his heart flutter at the sight of the man before him. With a warm grin, he accepted the coffee. He looked at his desk and said, "Yum, a cinnamon roll. Okay, I forgive you for cheating now.” He paused, looking at the cup Alex had handed him. “Why does my cup of coffee have a phone number with ‘Call me, Daddy!’ written on it?”

Alex laughed and shrugged. “The young girl at the coffee place was flirting. I occasionally get comments like that on my drinks, so I stopped looking because they can get graphic.”

Alex seemed worn down, unlike when they had been at the beach for the run. Like there was a weight on his shoulders that Jordan couldn’t see.

“I like your scrubs,” Alex said sadly, referencing the German Shepherd puppies.

Jordan smiled and looked at Alex. “Are you doing okay? Did the run wear you out? Was I too fast for you? I can slow down the next time if you like.”

“Funny, real funny. At least you’re a better kisser than a comedian,” Alex replied. Jordan blushed and was speechless for a moment, looking at the floor.

Alex walked over, trespassing into the young vet’s personal space. Jordan looked directly into his face, feeling flushed. Alex moved his face closer.

“The next time we race, I get to pick what the winner gets,” Alex whispered. Jordan was quiet, and his cheeks went dark red.

Alex backed up. “I’m off to see Shadow now—catch ya later, Speedy.” Then, he strutted out of the office, knowing full well that he just made a lasting impression on the young doctor.

Jordan sat down in his chair, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He needed to think of something different right now to make his growing erection go away before his next appointment.

He laughed out loud. The kind of laugh he had not heard himself do in a very long time. He felt like a teenager, not being able to control himself.

He then looked greedily at the cinnamon roll. When he picked it up to bite into it, he noticed written on the napkin, “Why did God make farts smell? So deaf people could enjoy them, too.”

Jordan chuckled to himself, finding the joke both funny and endearing. It was a simple gesture, yet it meant a lot to him. With a warm feeling, Jordan folded the napkin and tucked it into his pocket, a memory he would cherish.

Throughout the rest of the day, Jordan saw several patients at the clinic, tending to their various medical needs. While busy with appointments, he noticed Alex's dedication and compassion as he moved from one patient to another, assisting the staff when needed.

Alex displayed remarkable care and empathy toward Shadow and the other animal patients in the clinic. He handled each furry friend with gentle hands and a soothing voice, ensuring their comfort and well-being. Whether it was a nervous cat, an excited puppy, or an ailing senior dog, Alex seemed to have an innate ability to connect with them, putting them at ease. Jordan was impressed with Alex's ability to multitask, seamlessly transitioning from one patient's needs to the next without missing a beat.

As the day at the clinic came to a close, the entire staff had taken notice of Alex's presence and the positive impact he had made. During one of these late afternoon moments, Emily stepped into Jordan's office with a gleam of curiosity in her eyes.

"Hey, Jordan," she began, flashing a knowing smile. "Have you heard the buzz around here today?"

Jordan raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what she was getting at. "Buzz? What are you talking about?"

Emily leaned in slightly, her voice lowered conspiratorially. "Well, our new volunteer has been quite the topic of conversation among the staff."

Jordan chuckled. "Oh really? And what have you heard?"

Emily's eyes sparkled. "Oh, you know, the usual. People think he's handsome and charming. They love his pastries. Apparently, they taste better than my homemade apple muffins because no one ate any of them today. But that's not all." She leaned in even closer as if revealing a juicy secret. "Whenever you walk by, there are lingering looks in your direction that some would say ‘distract’ him."

Jordan blushed at the gossip. He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm glad to hear that he's fitting in well here."

Emily nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, he's more than just fitting in. I think he's won over more than a few hearts today." She poked Jordan on the left side of his chest, smiling.

"Emily, you're incorrigible and acting like a teenager," he said, grinning.

"Oh, come on, Jordan! You're allowed to have a crush like the rest of us. Who could resist those muscles, that perky perfect booty, those eyes, and that smile?"

Jordan chuckled. He looked around, ensuring no one was listening. “Look, something did happen between us. If I tell you, though, you have to keep it a secret.”

Emily nodded. Jordan leaned in closely and whispered, “Stop gossiping and go home to your husband and daughter.”

Emily gave a theatrical sigh. "You're no fun, Jordan! But I understand—you’re keeping all the juicy stuff to yourself." She winked at him before returning to her duties, leaving Jordan to ponder the amusing conversation.

Jordan sat at his desk, typing away at the computer while reviewing patient records. As he worked, he saw Alex gesturing at him at the door, and he entered the room.

Alex walked further into the office, and must have noticed that Jordan didn’t have his hearing aids in. He walked to the front of Jordan's desk, directly in Jordan's line of sight.

"Hey, Jordan," Alex greeted with a smile, his eyes bright.

Jordan returned the smile, reaching for his hearing aids out of instinct. He saw Alex make a hand motion to stop. He dropped his hands. "Hey, Alex. How's our star volunteer doing today?"

"Great. Shadow seems to be recovering peacefully. He's drinking on his own, and he ate a little food, and Rebecca and Emily have been giving me a crash course on monitoring his condition."

Jordan nodded, pleased with the update. "That's excellent news, Alex. I'm glad to hear he’s responding to our care.”

Alex's smile widened, and he took a step closer. "I wanted to thank you for allowing me to be a part of his care team and letting me help out with the other animals. It’s been a great day. I haven’t had a lot of those lately."

"You've been a tremendous help in many areas today. The staff are enamored with you, and I'm thrilled you’re here."

As they continued to talk about Shadow's progress and the clinic's activities, Jordan noticed that Alex always stood directly in front of him, speaking slowly and clearly so that Jordan could read his lips, ensuring that he understood everything that he was saying. Alex made listening effortless. Usually, when people moved around, talked fast, or mumbled, Jordan only picked up pieces of conversations and had to fill in the blanks. With Alex, he never had to fill in the blanks. He was always able to listen, and Alex made an effort to include him in the conversation.

Jordan's heart raced as he gathered his courage and stammered, "Uh, Alex, I was wondering... if you'd like to... you know, have dinner together tonight?"

"Jordan," Alex said, chuckling softly. "I'd love to have dinner with you. I was just about to ask you the same thing."

Jordan's eyes widened in surprise, and relief washed over him. "Really?" he asked, his smile returning, more genuine this time.

Alex nodded, feeling more confident. "Absolutely," he said. "So, what do you feel like eating tonight?"

Chapter 13

Alex

As Alex prepared for his dinner with Jordan, he felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. He wanted everything to go well. Standing in front of his mirror, he took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart.

He opted for a casual yet stylish outfit—blue jeans, a gray V-neck T-shirt, and comfortable shoes. He ran a hand through his hair, hoping it would cooperate, and decided to go with a subtle cologne, just enough to leave a pleasant impression.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he told himself to relax and enjoy the evening. After all, he looked forward to spending more time with Jordan and getting to know him better.

Do you think you deserve to be happy?  They all died because of you.

Alex picked up his phone and dialed Aunt Lynn's number, feeling the need to share his day and Shadow’s progress.

"Hey honey," came her cheerful response. "How's everything going?"

"Shadow made it through the night and is recovering slowly," he explained. "I've been helping out at the clinic, and the staff there is amazing.”

"I'm so glad to hear that. It sounds like you're having a great time helping out." She paused. "Alex," she began again, "there's something different about your voice today. Is there something more you’re excited about?"

Alex hesitated for a moment, then decided to confide in his aunt. "I'm having dinner tonight with Jordan, the veterinarian from the clinic."

Aunt Lynn's delight was evident. "That's great news! I'm happy for you. It's good that you’re making new friends in town. Jordan is great."

Alex felt a sense of relief and gratitude for his aunt's support. "Thank you. I’m taking it one day at a time. And don't worry, I'll keep you posted on Shadow."

Alex finished the call and returned to getting ready for dinner with Jordan, the excitement and anticipation becoming a bit overwhelming.

As Alex drove to the sushi restaurant to meet Jordan, he put on some music to set the mood for the evening. He scrolled through his playlist until he found a selection that felt just right. The soft melodies and lyrics flowed through the car's speakers, creating a pleasant ambiance.

With each passing mile, Alex's anticipation grew. The music provided a soothing backdrop, helping to calm his nerves and keep his thoughts focused on the evening ahead.

As he sat in the parking lot of the sushi restaurant, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, everything suddenly felt real. Doubt and insecurity crept in as he contemplated meeting Jordan for dinner. Thoughts raced through his mind, and he couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

"What if he realizes I'm not as put-together as he thinks I am?" Alex muttered to himself, his anxiety growing with each passing moment. He began to question whether he was good enough for someone like Jordan or anyone really.

The prospect of opening up to Jordan, of letting him in on the battles he fought within himself, seemed daunting. Alex wasn't sure he was ready to expose his vulnerabilities. He was tempted to drive away and cancel their dinner plans.

He cleared his mind and just focused on his breathing. Slow breaths. He remembered the moments they had shared so far, the connection they had started to build. Despite his insecurities, he realized he genuinely wanted to get to know Jordan better. He took a deep breath, reminding himself to take it one hour at a time. With renewed determination and a bit of fear, he walked into the restaurant.

As Alex entered the sushi restaurant, he was immediately struck by its elegant and inviting atmosphere. The restaurant's design blended traditional and contemporary elements, creating an aesthetically pleasing environment.

The interior had rich, dark wood accents that gave the space a warm and cozy feel. The walls were adorned with beautiful Japanese artwork and calligraphy, adding to the authenticity of the setting. Soft lighting created a tranquil ambiance, with delicate paper lanterns casting a gentle glow over the dining area.

The seating consisted of low, polished wooden tables with comfortable floor cushions instead of chairs, a traditional style often associated with Japanese dining. The tables were meticulously set with exquisite porcelain dishes and sleek bamboo chopsticks, adding to the overall elegance of the place.

His eyes scanned the room, searching for Jordan. It didn't take long to spot him seated at a table near the window. As he approached, Jordan stood to greet him. He was dressed casually yet stylish, and the sight took Alex's breath away.

Jordan wore a crisp, tan jacket that accentuated his toned physique, when he took it off, he had on an olive T-shirt that was snug in all the right places. He paired it with black jeans that hugged his athletic frame. His brown hair was neatly styled parted to the right, and he was relaxed. He looked confident as his warm hazel eyes met Alex's.

At that moment, Alex felt a rush of admiration and attraction. Jordan's appearance and presence had a magnetic effect, making Alex's heart race. He smiled as he approached the table.

"Hey," Jordan greeted, offering Alex a friendly hug. They sat at the low table. With Alex’s hulking frame, it almost looked like he was a giant at a tea party for dolls. Jordan looked like he found the situation a bit amusing.

Jordan leaned in and whispered, "Alex, you smell amazing."

Alex smiled at him. His broad shoulders were hunched to fit comfortably over the small table. "Thank you. Not many people have ever said that to me."

Alex pulled out a case from his pocket and put on his black reading glasses, eyes scanning the menu. It was filled with sushi rolls, sashimi, and other Japanese dishes. He felt at ease despite his awkwardness, trying to fit on one seating cushion.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter walking into this restaurant, you sit down and put on those glasses. Damn!”

Alex laughed. “You like my army-issued specs? I’ll do well on this date if that’s how low your expectations are.” He paused, looking awkward. “Dinner, not date, dinner. Sorry. Damn, I’m embarrassing myself.”

Jordan picked up a water glass and held it out for a toast. “To our first date.”

Alex calmed and smiled. He picked up his water glass and clinked it to Jordan’s. Then, he looked around the restaurant at the people at the other tables and the noise of the kitchen staff. “Do places like this mess with your hearing aids?”

“I just have to keep turning them up and down at times, depending on who comes near.”

“Well, tonight, I feel like embracing my narcissistic side, and I want to be the center of attention. Why don’t you take your hearing aids out so that I have all of your attention and you can just read my lips and enjoy your meal. I promise not to talk with my mouth full.”

Jordan smiled and pulled out his hearing aids. He removed a small hard case from his pocket, placed the hearing aids inside, and put it back in his pocket.

"You know," Jordan began with a sheepish smile, "before I came in here, I had a little internal debate with myself. I hadn't been on a proper date in ages, and my nerves and self-doubt started getting to me. I sat in my car, wondering if I should drive away." He chuckled, a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. "It's been so long since I've been in the dating scene that I almost forgot how it feels. But then I realized that sometimes, taking a chance and stepping out of your comfort zone is the only way to find something extraordinary."

“I appreciate your honesty. If I can be equally honest, you are the first person I have been out with in a long time. I asked myself if I should cancel tonight. I don’t want to make things awkward between us. I almost drove away from the parking lot and called you,” Alex said.

Jordan reached out and touched his forearm. “It’s okay—we’re both going to relax, eat some good food, and enjoy each other’s company. No pressure. Deal?”

“Deal,” Alex agreed. “I haven’t had sushi for months—I’m glad you suggested this place.”

“I love this place. Their tuna tataki is the best,” Jordan said.

The waitress approached their table, and they placed their orders. Alex ordered three different combinations of large sushi rolls. Jordan ordered his favorite sashimi platter, and they agreed to share some tuna tataki.

“Did you just order three of the large combo rolls?” Jordan asked.

“Yep, I’m a growing boy.” They both laughed.

They continued to open up about their general awkwardness in preparing for their date and discussed how many outfits they considered before leaving their house. The food arrived in beautifully arranged bamboo platters and boats, as if an artist had meticulously designed each. Alex was in awe of the presentation.

As they began to eat, their conversation flowed effortlessly. Alex shared stories about the people he had met at the clinic over the last two days. He talked about Rebecca's dedication to her work and Emily's passion for animal care and even mentioned the gossip-loving Brenda and Lisa.

Jordan listened intently, nodding and occasionally adding a chuckle or a comment. Then, with a soft smile, he began to share his own stories. He spoke about each clinic's staff member with genuine warmth and affection. Jordan's eyes sparkled as he described Sophia's organizational skills, Daniel's unwavering commitment, and even the quirks of the ever-grumpy Nathan.

"So, Alex," he said. "What brought you to Brookings? It's a beautiful place but not the most common destination."

Alex’s anxiety crept up to the surface, and he took a deep breath. He knew something like this would happen. That Jordan would want to know why he moved here. He guessed it was best to get all of it out in the open now rather than later when they got too far into it.

He is too good for you. Tell him how you let them all die.

"Well," he began slowly, "I came here because I've been struggling since I left the military. I have a severe case of PTSD, and it's been a constant battle. I left the military on disability, and since then, I've been trying to find my way, my purpose. But for the last few years, I’ve just been lost, moving from place to place, doctor to doctor."

His admission hung in the air, and Alex felt vulnerable. He waited anxiously for Jordan's response.

Jordan considered Alex's admission, his expression thoughtful and compassionate. He reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Alex's, a silent gesture of support.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Alex," Jordan said sincerely. "I can't imagine how challenging that must be, but I'm here to listen and support you in any way I can."

Encouraged by Jordan's response, Alex continued. "My aunt Lynn has lived here in Brookings for almost fifteen years after she left Dallas, and she's been worried about me. She's been urging me to move closer to her so she can help me through this. I guess I came here looking for some hope, some direction."

Jordan nodded. "It's clear you've been through a lot, Alex," he said softly. "But please know that you don't have to feel you need to hide this from me. I don’t know a lot about PTSD from a military point of view where war is concerned. Still, I understand what struggle is and that no matter how hard you try to isolate yourself, the universe always finds a way to help you build the necessary connections. I speak from experience. I have tried to isolate myself for years, and Linda also did a lot of ‘urging’ to get me to move to Brookings, too. Please know that in whatever capacity you need, I'm here for you. You are damn lucky to have that aunt of yours — she’s a force of nature. Sometimes, taking that first step toward healing is the hardest, but it was brave that you chose to come here."

Alex felt a sense of relief wash over him. He hadn't known how Jordan would react to his admission, but his empathy and support meant the world to him. At that moment, he realized he might have found a friend who understood and cared about his struggles. A very handsome friend.

Their banter continued throughout the meal, and they discussed more lighthearted topics. Stories about Alex’s aunt, where he grew up, and how much sushi he could eat created a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere. Soon, the waitress approached their table with the bill in hand.

"I can't believe you didn't leave anything to take home,” Jordan said in disbelief. “No wonder the national debt is so severe if the army had to feed you three meals a day, or nine.” They both laughed.

They settled the bill by splitting it equally upon Jordan’s persistence and passed on dessert despite the tempting offerings on the menu. Instead, they chose to take a stroll to their cars, savoring the gentle breeze of the evening and the enchanting colors of the sunset painting the sky.

As they walked side by side, conversation continued to flow effortlessly. The fading sunlight cast long shadows, and the world slowed down momentarily.

As they reached their cars, Alex noticed the license plate on Jordan's Jeep and laughed. “Your license plate is WOOFDOC—that’s hysterical.” Alex laughed so much that his belly began to hurt from all the sushi he had eaten.

Jordan laughed. “Hey, don’t be hating on my plate. I love that thing.”

During the laughter, Alex moved closer so that Jordan was up against him on the Jeep. They continued to laugh and looked into each other’s eyes.

“So if I had to Yelp this date, I’d give it four stars,” Alex said.

Jordan gasped. “Only four? Why not five?”

“Five stars is for the date when we end up going home together.” He gently but forcefully pushed the total weight of his body into Jordan, enveloping him around the car.

Jordan responded by putting his arms around Alex’s waist and pulling him in, his face in Alex’s neck. Alex could feel Jordan’s hot breath on his neck, and he bent his head down and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

Alex was mesmerized by Jordan’s lips. He wanted to devour them. It took every bit of self-discipline that he had to remain a gentleman. The kiss lasted quite a long time, and when he pulled away, both were breathing heavily.

Alex felt his erection start to stiffen, so he backed away from Jordan. He saw Jordan’s face looking down at it in his form-fitting jeans. He motioned to him with his hands. When Jordan looked at his face, he said, “My lips are up here,” and laughed loudly.

Jordan replied, “I would get that fifth star if my lips were down there!” They both laughed loudly again.

He reached his hand out, cupped Jordan’s left cheek, and kissed him hard this time—a passionate, deep kiss where he explored his mouth with his tongue, and there was no gentleness, just passion. When he pulled away, Jordan looked at him with longing. Jordan’s hands were now on his massive chest, and Alex could feel Jordan’s touch, which drove him crazy.

“I had better stop before I bend you over this car right now,” Alex said confidently.

Jordan grinned and looked a little devilish. “You know how sensitive my ears are, right? The ‘nagging noise enhancers’ really do a number on the inside of my ear because I’m so sensitive to things being inserted in my body. I want you to know that you'll be bent over the car when our date earns that fifth star.”

Alex looked shocked, stunned, and excited all at once. Jordan's comment, which he said with such strength and confidence, was the most amazing comment Jordan had made since they met, and that kind of strength turned Alex on. Jordan's idea that that would ever happen was amusing. Alex had never had anyone top him.

Stammering and befuddled, Alex said, “Well, I think we’re going to have to wrestle for it.”

Jordan laughed and opened his car door. “Or race!” He winked at Alex.

Jordan got in his car, and Alex closed the door for him once he was in. Jordan started the vehicle and rolled down the window.

Alex leaned down into the window so that Jordan could see his face. “This was the best evening that I have had in years. Thank you for suggesting it and for a great time.”

Jordan looked up at him. “I think you spoiled me for any date I will ever have for the rest of my life—nothing will ever top this.”

Alex turned a bit so that Jordan could still see his face and his ass. He pointed to his ass and said, “Or this.”

Jordan’s face was full of laughter and confidence. “We’ll see, He-Man, we’ll see.”

Alex backed away from the car, and Jordan pulled out of his spot. Both men had huge smiles on their faces as he pulled away.

Alex was sitting in his truck when his phone dinged, letting the engine warm up. Jordan had texted him.

Jordan: Running at 6:30 a.m. if you’re up for it — same place.

Then a GIF appeared of a beagle holding a rose in its mouth with the words “Thank you!” on it.

He hearted the GIF and thumbed up the text, knowing he would enjoy spending more time with Jordan in the morning.

Chapter 14

Jordan

Over the next week, Jordan and Alex settled into an unexpectedly comfortable routine, their days filled with a mix of early morning runs, fulfilling work at the clinic, and evenings spent together.

They ran together daily on the scenic coastal trail and down the beach. One morning, they were lucky to see a pod of gray whales from the shore. The beautiful spring weather added to the beauty of their runs each morning, with the wildflowers blooming around the trails.

They changed the trails they used several times to keep the runs interesting. They liked the trails that were secluded at the end so that they could finish the run with some fantastic kissing.

Jordan got annoyed at Alex one day when he left a hickey on his neck, complaining that they were not teenagers and never to do that again. People asked Jordan why he wore a turtleneck on the beautiful spring day. He knew Brenda and Lisa suspected something but never got the proof they desperately sought.

At the clinic, Jordan watched as Alex spent time doing his volunteer training, taking care of Shadow, and fending off unwanted advances from the staff, owners, and even a very enthusiastic husky named “Hershal” who apparently liked to hump muscle guys.

Jordan was impressed with his dedication and quick learning as a volunteer.

Alex was assigned to lead the fifth-grade student volunteers mid-week, and his patience and logistical know-how amazed the parents and staff alike.

Now and then, Jordan would catch him taking his breaks, sitting next to Shadow, and reading books to him. Alex said that Shadow loved biographies of Ben Franklin. Jordan thought it was an excellent way to save money for the clinic for sedatives as it put all the dogs to sleep. He liked that Alex was an extensive history nerd.

Another day, Jordan had a severe surgery that took up most of the day, and it was late at night, so Alex went and got them some chicken Pad Thai, and they sat and ate it on the floor of the recovery room because Jordan didn’t want to leave the dog in case something happened.

Jordan thought restaurants would start opening all over town now that Alex had moved there. He was amazed that Alex ordered double entrees whenever they went out together. The night after their incredible sushi date, he ordered a T-bone steak and the Bistro Burger with sides at the restaurant. The next night, he ordered a full entrée dinner of salmon and grilled chicken. Jordan had never seen anyone put away as much food as Alex did.

Jordan saw him bring a backpack of food to the clinic daily. The staff started referring to it as ‘The Protein Pantry.”

He knew that Alex left the napkin under his cinnamon roll last week as a joke, but he had a serious conversation with God about why he made it so that deaf people could smell farts.

Jordan even had to accept a complaint from Mrs. Winston because Alex has cleared the breakroom a couple of times since starting here because of his protein farts.

Jordan watched Alex get all choked up one afternoon at the clinic—Rebecca, Brenda, and Lisa had gotten together and salvaged as many of the shirts Alex had used for bandages on Shadow the night he burst through the window as they could. All of the shirts were stained in blood, and some had to be cut off of Shadow during the surgery and were not salvageable.

Rebecca remembered Alex's story about the wife of a fellow soldier making these shirts for Alex. Hence, she and the other girls got together and talked to every grandmother on our patient list about the best ways to remove blood from clothes. A couple of the t-shirts disintegrated, and it was a rumor Jordan heard that they tried something they shouldn’t have with gasoline and seltzer.

Jordan was in the breakroom with Alex, eating lunch one afternoon, and eight staff members walked in the breakroom wearing his oversized shirts over their clothes. Alex was so touched that he choked up. The staff hugged him and gave him back his newer-than-new t-shirts after the grandma brigade got all the blood out and even sewed a few holes.

Jordan thought that the shirts were hysterical, and he saw how much they meant to Alex when he saw him delicately folding them up and placing them in his bag. It seemed to be a peaceful moment. Jordan didn’t want to pry, but an emotion was attached to those shirts.

The t-shirts that were saved were ‘Meat shield who better protect my husband’, ‘Say Eye, Spell Map, Say Ness’, ‘Don’t need a permit for these guns’ with arrows pointing to both biceps, ‘No better friend, No worse enemy’, ‘Don’t Fart’ written in nine different font sizes all over the front and back of the shirt, ‘Superhuman’, ‘This is my first time at the gym’ and Jordan’s favorite of them all, a black t-shirt with white letters that says ‘Should I take this shirt off?’.

Jordan couldn't help but notice the remarkable bond that was forming between Alex and Shadow. It was a heartwarming sight to witness, and Jordan found himself silently celebrating the connection that was growing stronger with each passing day.

He watched as Alex always approached him with calm and reassuring movements and talked to him about his injuries, daily events, and living in Brookings, and one time Jordan caught him gossiping to Shadow about Brenda’s date the night before with the guy that everyone now refers to as “Toupee Guy.”

Jordan watched the trust build between the two. Daniel taught Alex a lot about canine care, and the first time Shadow ate food out of Alex’s hand, his smile was enormous. Jordan watched Shadow regain strength, and he had to fight with Alex and Shadow about keeping the ‘cone of shame’ on him.

One day, he saw Alex with a tug toy and said, “You can’t play tug with Shadow—he’s too weak.”

Alex laughed at him and explained that it was a bicep exercise strap he uses when sitting and reading. Embarrassed, Jordan walked down the hall in the other direction.

Jordan loved the nightly goodbyes. He and Alex decided to take things very slowly because there was still so much going on in their lives, but Jordan had never felt this safe with anyone. The kissing has been so passionate and sincere that it has become the best part of Jordan’s day.

Entering the breakroom, he saw Alex sitting with Brenda and Lisa at the table. The room buzzed with conversation and the clinking of dishes. Jordan approached the group with a broad smile. "Today's the day. Are you ready to take Shadow home with you?"

Alex looked up from his conversation with Brenda and Lisa, his eyes lighting up at Jordan's words.

"Terrified," he replied, his voice wavering. "I think I have everything ready. I made the mistake of giving these two my credit card yesterday, and they bought everything I needed. When they brought it over last night, I was shocked they could fit so much stuff in a Subaru.”

Brenda laughed. Lisa looked at Jordan and said, “We love spending other people’s money.”

Alex shook his head and rubbed his belly. “I think I can only afford one meal tonight, Jordan. You’re going to have to spot me.”

“There is no way I’ll ever take responsibility for feeding you—I know horse ranchers with cheaper feed bills than your grocery budget.” The entire table laughed.

Jordan continued. "Shadow's made incredible progress under your care, Alex. He's healing physically and emotionally, and I have no doubt he's found the perfect caregiver in you. I was thinking, during his rehab, bring him here with you when you volunteer. He can rest here, be with other dogs, and the staff can help keep an eye on him.”

Alex looked so relieved. “Thank you, Jordan. I was worried that my volunteer time here would have to be reduced because I needed to be home with him. This means a lot.”

Brenda and Lisa clapped their hands together. “I love this idea,” Lisa squealed.

Alex nodded in agreement, his gratitude evident. "I'm honored that Stephanie entrusted me with his care. I promise to give him all the love and attention he deserves to get better."

"It's heartwarming to see how animals can bring people together,” Lisa chimed in. “Alex, you've not only made a difference in Shadow's life but also here at the clinic. We're lucky to have you.” She looked up at Jordan with puppy dog eyes. “Aren’t we, Jordan?"

Jordan blushed, sighed, and walked away from the disruptive duo that plagued his dreams at night.

Brenda yelled after him as he exited. “Have a good day, Jordan!” The three of them laughed happily and loudly.

Walking away from the table left him in a great mood. He was still taken aback at how Alex had brought out so much confidence in him. His thoughts drifted as he walked, and he knew he had better clear his head to get caught up on charting.

Jordan was in his office, focused on paperwork when he noticed Alex entering the room. Their communication now felt comfortable, and there was a silent understanding that had developed over the past week. Jordan didn't reach for his hearing aids as he looked up, ready to listen to whatever Alex had to say.

Alex met Jordan's gaze and spoke, his words easy and thoughtful. "Do you mind if we eat at my place tonight? I don't want to leave him alone once I get him home."

Jordan's lips curled into a gentle smile as he nodded in agreement. "Of course, that sounds great."

“I’ll make salmon for you. I still don’t understand how a person doesn’t eat red meat—it seems unnatural.”

Jordan laughed. “As much red meat as you eat, there simply isn’t enough left for me.”

Jordan was looking forward to Alex cooking dinner tonight. He was becoming more and more a figure in Jordan’s daily life. It was so weird that they didn’t even know each other nine days ago. It felt as if he had known Alex for years.

As the day ended, it was time to send Shadow home with Alex. The clinic bustled with activity, ensuring everything was prepared for the big moment. Rebecca diligently cared for the German Shepherd in the kennel area, making sure he was comfortable and ready for his journey home with Alex.

In the corner of the clinic parking lot, Alex stood beside his truck, which was well-equipped and ready to transport Shadow. He had thoughtfully arranged everything he needed for the trip, from blankets and water bowls to some of Shadow's favorite toys given to him in the clinic.

Jordan and Rebecca approached Alex, offering to help with the final preparations. However, to their surprise, Alex effortlessly picked up the open-top kennel as if it weighed nothing more than a feather. His muscular arms flexed as he quickly carried the crate, showcasing his impressive strength.

With a nod from Jordan, the back door of Alex's truck swung open, revealing a spacious interior. The front seat was pushed forward, creating ample space for the kennel. Alex gently placed the crate inside, and it fit perfectly, securing Shadow's spot for the trip.

Inside the kennel, Shadow lay peacefully, wearing his “cone of shame.” Extra medication had been administered to ensure a calm and comfortable journey.

With Shadow settling safely in the truck, Alex carefully closed the door, ensuring everything was secure.

After everything was in place, Alex approached Jordan. “See you after you get off?”

Jordan touched his forearm, then reached up and kissed his cheek. “Yep, looking forward to it. I’ll see you there.”

Alex got into his truck, the engine already running, so it was cool enough for Shadow, and they drove off.

Rebecca, eyeing Jordan, didn’t say anything. Jordan turned to her, looked at her suspiciously, and said, “What?”

“That is the first time you kissed him publicly like that. You two have been sneaking around like polecats all week long. The gossip mill around this place knows your whereabouts at every moment of the day, just so you know. Don’t think everyone didn’t notice the two of you coming out of exam room three on Thursday with razor burns on your faces,” she said with a smile.

“It’s new, Becs—crazy new and crazy powerful. I don’t get it. What does a guy like him see in a dork like me? I keep waiting to fuck it up like I always do. I’m scared to get too comfortable, afraid the rug will be ripped out from under me.”

“Now you listen to me, Dr. Jordan Malachai Williams. You are the kindest, most loving, pig-headed son-of-a-bitch I have ever met. You keep fucking things up because you think you don’t deserve a happily ever after with someone of merit. I met that guy you dated last year—he was a loser from the get-go. Thankfully, you realized it before I had to step in and send him packing. Alex and you fit. We all see it. We all have known him the same amount of time you have and consider him family. Time is a number, dumbass. Souls know what souls know. The two of you work. So, stop self-sabotaging, or so help me—I’ll let Emily start giving you all of her reptile appointments.”

Jordan cringed at the thought of working with snakes. He did it, but he hated it, so Emily always attended those appointments.

“Okay, okay, you win. I’ll try to be more positive about him and us—if there is an us,” Jordan said.

“You’re a math guy, right?” she asked. Before he could answer, she continued. “one plus one always equals two to you math types. Well, I’m telling you, sweetheart, in your case, One plus one equals three. I see one walking fart machine with PTSD, I see a one-person war machine that wages war on his hearing loss, but together, Jordan, the ‘us,’ is what we all see. Together you stop waging your war on your ears, honey, and when he is with you, he smiles sincerely instead of that fake ass smile he wore when he first got here. So keep telling yourself over and over, ‘me plus you equals us.’ That is where your damn head needs to be. The ‘us’ that you two are creating isn’t some co-dependent crap that each of you has to think that the only reason you are getting better and happier is because of the other person. It is because when you’re together creating the ‘us,’ you intentionally left room for the healing you both are desperately looking for. It’s the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen, and I’m praying that you two dumbasses realize this soon and stop pussy footing around walking on eggshells together.”

She pointed at Jordan’s chest. “And darlin’ that ass on that boy. You could bounce quarters off that thing. Don’t you dare let that go without a fight.”

Jordan laughed, reached for his dearest friend, and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back hard, and she teared up a little. “Now stop this shit, I have work to do, and I don’t have time to redo my mascara, you little shit.”

Chapter 15

Alex

Alex sat in the driver's seat of his truck. His heart raced with excitement and nervousness. Shadow lay peacefully in the kennel in the back seat, his steady breathing and calm expression offering comfort.

The drive home was both thrilling and daunting for Alex. He glanced at the pup occasionally, watching him sleep soundly. He wondered if he was ready for the journey ahead, the late-night meds and early-morning bandage changes, and the unconditional love and companionship that Shadow would undoubtedly bring into his life temporarily until the clinic found him a new owner.

With each passing mile, Alex's anxiety seemed to grow. He questioned whether he was making the right decision and whether he could provide the care and love that Shadow deserved. The weight of responsibility settled on his shoulders, and he felt a bit overwhelmed.

Finally, Alex pulled into his driveway, the familiar sight of his home offering a small measure of reassurance. He turned off the engine and glanced at Shadow in the back seat. The pup stirred, his tail wagging gently as he met Alex's eyes with a trusting gaze.

As he looked into Shadow's eyes, Alex's anxiety began to ebb away. He realized he had been given a tremendous gift: the chance to care for this incredible dog. He knew there would be challenges ahead, but he also knew that he was willing to face them head-on for the sake of his newfound furry friend.

Taking a deep breath, Alex opened the truck door and stepped out. He walked around the truck to the back seat and carefully lifted the kennel containing Shadow into his arms.

Alex carried Shadow in his kennel to the front door, setting him down and gently caressing the side of his face.

"Alright, buddy, welcome home," he said, offering Shadow a smile. He knew this was a significant change for both of them, and he wanted Shadow to feel comfortable and loved.

When they entered the living room, Alex noticed the thoughtful preparations made by Brenda and Lisa. The large open space was adorned with multiple comfortable dog beds in various corners, ensuring Shadow would have a cozy place to rest in whichever room Alex decided to spend time in. A set of shiny stainless steel dog bowls was neatly placed by the fireplace, ready for meals and water. Colorful plush toys were scattered around the floor, offering entertainment and engagement for the recovering dog. Alex was particularly fond of the Mr. Bill red, white, and blue plush toy, which said the “Ohh Nooo!!” catchphrase every time he squeezed it. He caught himself having too much fun with that last night after Brenda and Lisa left.

Alex gently lowered Shadow next to one of the plush dog beds in the living room, carefully to make sure he was comfortable.

He leaned down and spoke to Shadow like the German Shepherd could understand every word. "All right, Shadow, we need to go over some house rules here to ensure we're on the same page."

Shadow looked up at him with his soulful eyes in that ridiculous cone, seemingly attentive to the conversation.

"Rule number one," Alex began, "No loud parties after ten p.m. I've had my fair share of late-night shenanigans with my military buddies, and trust me—they always end up with someone regretting it the next morning."

Shadow tilted his head as if contemplating the wisdom of the rule.

"Rule number two," Alex continued with a grin. "No girls –- or guys, I don't judge –- are allowed for sleepovers. I don't want to wake up to the walk of shame like I did back in my army days when my buddies brought their 'friends' over."

Shadow's ears perked up at the mention of friends, perhaps wondering what kind of friends they were.

"Rule number three," Alex said, "No eating my food. I need all that protein to keep up with you, and I don't want to find my peanut butter mysteriously disappearing."

Shadow whimpered like he was acknowledging this rule.

"Rule number four," Alex continued. "Leave the toilet seat up. I've had enough arguments about that in the past, and it's just easier this way."

"Rule number five," Alex chuckled. "Don't use my razor to shave your... well, let's just say, keep your personal grooming to yourself. Wait, never mind, I forgot that doesn’t apply to you." Alex cringed, remembering Shadow was neutered. “Sorry, buddy, the world is harsh.”

Shadow's expression remained unchanged, not quite comprehending the reference.

"And last but not least," he said with genuine affection. "Rule number six. Get better fast, little buddy. We're in this together, and I promise to take good care of you."

With the rules laid out, Alex gave Shadow a reassuring pat on the head.

He got to work in the kitchen, preparing a special dinner for Jordan. He enjoyed cooking, and he wanted to impress the handsome doctor. With Shadow comfortably settled nearby, he felt a sense of contentment as he moved around the house's open floor plan.

He started by preheating the oven to the perfect temperature for the salmon. As the oven warmed up, he retrieved a fillet of fresh salmon from the fridge and placed it on a clean cutting board. With a chef's precision, he carefully seasoned the fish with a blend of herbs and spices –- a secret recipe he'd picked up from Aunt Lynn.

Next, he arranged a colorful assortment of vegetables on a baking sheet. Sliced bell peppers, zucchini, and cherry tomatoes were drizzled with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Alex loved the vibrant colors—they reminded him of their town's beautiful coastal scenery.

While the salmon was baking to perfection in the oven, he heated a skillet on the stovetop. With a splash of olive oil, he sautéed garlic and shallots until they released their delightful aroma. The sound of the sizzling in the pan filled the kitchen, adding to the anticipation of the meal.

Shadow raised his head and observed, his eyes following Alex's every move. Alex couldn't help but smile at the looks that Shadow was giving him as he moved around the kitchen.

As the salmon and vegetables finished cooking, Alex plated them with care, creating a visually appealing dish as delightful to the eyes as it was to the taste buds. He garnished it with fresh herbs and a drizzle of lemon juice for that extra flavor. He was grateful that Aunt Lynn bought him oval-shaped plates for more significant portions.

With the table set, Alex placed their plates in the oven and set the oven to proof to keep the food warm but not cook. Then he got annoyed that the food was ready too early and Jordan was not there yet. His excitement was palpable as he awaited Jordan's arrival.

As the savory aroma of the salmon filled the air and the dining table was set, Alex sat next to Shadow in the living room.

"Hey there, buddy," Alex began, his voice soft and contemplative. "I just wanted to talk to someone about everything happening lately."

Shadow looked up at Alex in his cone, his eyes understanding.

"I've had a great week, you know," Alex continued, scratching behind Shadow's ear. "Meeting Jordan and spending time with him has been amazing. He's a great guy and more than I could have hoped for."

As he spoke, Alex smiled at the thought of Jordan. Yet, beneath that excitement lay a layer of apprehension.

"But, buddy…" Alex sighed. "I'm also scared. When the real me comes out, when the nightmares hit, or when he sees what my PTSD is really like, is he going to run for the hills? I don't know how he'll react when he realizes how truly fucked up I am."

Shadow leaned closer to Alex, trying to nuzzle his hand, offering comfort, but the cone interfered, and Alex reached into the cone to pet his head. Alex appreciated the gesture, and his eyes softened as he continued to talk to Shadow.

"I've been open about it so far, and he's seemed okay with it," he admitted. "But what happens when it gets real? When the demons come out, and I'm not just the guy who cooked dinner and took care of you and the clinic? I'm scared that when he sees the real me, he’ll decide I'm too much to handle."

Alex paused, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "But, Shadow, there's something about him... something that makes me want to try, you know. To take the risk. Maybe he’ll surprise us. I hope so."

Shadow's gaze remained fixed on Alex, his silent support unwavering. In the presence of his faithful companion, he felt a sense of peace, as if sharing his fears and hopes had lightened the burden on his shoulders, even if just a little.

With a sigh, Alex leaned back. “You are way more fun to talk to than Dr. Martin.”

A sudden realization swept over him like a chilling breeze. The next day, he had an appointment with Dr. Martin. His initial session had gone better than expected. Still, the thought of seeing a therapist again, delving deeper into his PTSD, and potentially unearthing more painful memories filled him with unease. He let out a deep sigh and scratched Shadow's head absentmindedly.

"Well, buddy, it looks like I've got another round with Dr. Martin tomorrow," he murmured, his brow furrowing with apprehension and resignation.

Shadow, ever wise, turned his gaze toward Alex, his dark eyes filled with empathy. He seemed to sense the turmoil that churned within his human companion.

"It's not that I don't want to get better," Alex continued. "It's just... revisiting those memories, those places in my mind... it's tough, you know?"

Alex leaned back against the couch, deep in thought. The weight of the past bore down on him, and he felt trepidation about what awaited him in the therapist's office.

"I've come this far," he mused aloud. "Maybe I need to face the darkness head-on. For myself, Jordan, and a chance at something... better."

Chapter 16

Jordan

As the evening light gradually dimmed, Jordan finished his work at the clinic. He exchanged smiles and pleasantries with the remaining night shift staff, nurses, and assistants who would continue to care for the animal patients.

"All right, folks, that's it for today," Jordan said. "Thanks for all your hard work. Have a great evening, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Jordan stepped into the dimly lit parking lot, the refreshing night air washing over him. He glanced at his Jeep, parked nearby—but before heading home, he had another destination in mind. The prospect of spending the evening with Alex and Shadow filled him with anticipation, and he smiled at the thought.

As Jordan sat in his car, preparing to drive over to Alex's house for dinner, he reflected on his conversation with Rebecca. Her words had resonated with him, and he mulled over the idea of “waging a war” on his hearing.

For years, he'd considered his hearing impairment a battle he needed to fight alone. He had become so accustomed to living in a world of silence, relying on lip reading and hearing aids only when he had to use them, that he had almost accepted it as his standard. But meeting Alex had shifted something within him, making him question if he'd been isolating himself unnecessarily.

Rebecca's advice to not get in his head struck a chord. Maybe he had been his worst enemy when forming romantic connections. His previous relationships had all ended for similar reasons, and he wondered if his fear of vulnerability and his reluctance to share the intricacies of his hearing impairment had played a part.

Jordan contemplated changing his mind as he drove through the quiet streets toward Alex's house. Could he allow someone like Alex, who had shown such kindness and understanding, to see the real him? Was it possible to let go of the self-imposed barriers he'd built up over the years and truly let someone in?

His life felt like it was at a standstill in some ways. He had focused so much on his career and clinic that he'd inadvertently put his personal life on hold. Meeting Alex had been a wake-up call, a reminder that there was more to life than work.

Jordan quickly stopped at the grocery store on his way to Alex's house for dinner. He wanted to bring a thoughtful gift to show his appreciation for the meal Alex was preparing.

Jordan found himself wandering through the grocery store, trying to decide on the perfect gift to bring to Alex's house for dinner. He started in the floral section, considering a bouquet. But then he thought, Alex doesn’t seem like a tulip kind of guy.

He continued to the wine section, where he spent a few moments perusing the bottles. However, uncertainty crept in as he realized he had never seen Alex drink alcohol. What if it interfered with his PTSD medication? He decided to play it safe and moved on.

He ventured into the bakery section. As he browsed the colorful display of cakes and pastries, he chuckled to himself, thinking, "Alex would probably never touch any of this stuff." But he secretly decided to grab a plastic container of chocolate fudge brownies and hide it in his car to enjoy later once he got home.

With dessert also not an option, Jordan finally made his way to the meat section. He chuckled again, realizing he was about to buy meat as a gift. He spotted a pack of New York strip steaks. Perfect.

As he made his way to the checkout, Jordan smiled at the variety of spring displays and customers in the store. He knew that no matter what he brought, the most important thing was the time they would spend together. And who knew, maybe Alex would appreciate the unexpected gift of meat as much as any other adult gay male. With a chuckle to himself that drew more attention than he wanted, he checked out and continued heading to Alex's house.

As he parked his car in the driveway next to Alex’s truck, Jordan took a deep breath and made a silent promise to himself. Maybe when the time was right, he would start breaking down those walls to allow someone like Alex into his world and to wage a different kind of war—one that involved opening his heart to the possibilities of love and connection. He took out his hearing aids, leaving them in the car's passenger seat. Then, he texted Alex.

Jordan: Here. I don't want to ring the doorbell; I'm not sure how Shadow would react.

He attached a gif featuring a chihuahua standing on its hind legs, smoking a cigarette, and holding an automatic rifle. Alex's reply came quickly.

Alex: HAHA, coming.

Moments later, the door swung open, and Alex greeted Jordan with a grin. "Hey there, welcome! And a good idea about the doorbell. I never thought of that. I don’t want him ripping open his staples."

Jordan held up the pack of New York strip steaks he had bought as a gift. "I brought you something."

Alex's eyes lit up as he saw the meat. "Oh, man! Did you get me meat? That’s the best gift ever!" He laughed loudly, took the steaks, and hugged Jordan tightly.

Jordan chuckled, a warm feeling spreading through him. "I'm glad you like them. The caveat is that you can’t make me eat one.” He paused, then felt the need to clarify his earlier meme. “Also, so that you know, I don't condone smoking or weapons."

Alex laughed heartily and faced Jordan so that he could see his face. "Don't worry, I'm not a smoker. And as for the weapons, let's say you should avoid opening random drawers around my house."

Jordan raised his eyebrows. "Oh, God.”

Their banter continued as they went to the kitchen, where Alex put the steaks in the refrigerator with a pleased smile.

He turned to face Jordan, and they shared another warm hug, followed by a sweet kiss, then a longer kiss. They lingered in each other's arms, exchanging tender words for a moment.

Alex finally broke the embrace and smiled at Jordan. "Are you ready to eat?"

Jordan nodded, a look of anticipation on his face. "Absolutely."

Jordan moved to the dining table, where Alex had already set the table and had glasses full of water and silverware. The warmed plates of salmon were brought out from the oven, cooked with a seared crust that promised a flavorful bite.

As Jordan took his first bite, his eyes widened in delight. "Wow, this is incredible!"

Alex blushed slightly, pleased by Jordan's reaction. "I'm glad you like it.”

“This is embarrassing, but the only thing I can do is make good sandwiches,” Jordan admitted sheepishly. “My grilled cheese is to die for.”

“You’ll have to make one for me sometime. I love grilled cheese and tomato soup—the best comfort meal ever,” Alex said.

As they sat at the table, savoring their meal, Jordan saw Shadow resting comfortably in his kennel nearby. He took a moment to admire the dog and then looked at Alex.

"How's our furry friend doing since you brought him home? He seems pretty relaxed right now."

"Yeah, he's been adjusting well. He had been drifting in and out. Rebecca said he would be like that most of the evening. She said to let him walk around a little to help his muscles in his legs but to keep an eye on his left paw to make sure he isn’t overusing it. He’s been a trooper the last couple of days at the clinic. I’m nervous about how the night and tomorrow morning will go."

“What are you nervous about?” Looking around the room, it seemed like a dog supply store exploded. There were three dog beds in one room, plush toys of all varieties, dog bowls of different height levels, chew toys, three collars, and several leashes of varying colors. Before Alex could answer, Jordan said, “I’m never giving the disruptive duo my credit card.”

“It’s not their fault. They talked to the store manager and explained the situation, and he’s permitting me to return what I don’t need or want as long as I keep the receipt. They bought me options. They have been great helping me.”

Jordan laughed as he looked at the end table by the couch. “A candy cane leash? It’s not even Christmas.” Both laughed, and Alex shrugged.

“By the way, I have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Can I drop Shadow off at the clinic, attend the appointment, and then return?” Alex asked.

“Of course, and don’t feel bad for asking. You’re a volunteer, not a paid employee. If you were a paid employee, we would both be in trouble for what we do in exam room three. Oh, and by the way, we’re not fooling anyone, and the gossip mill always knows our whereabouts. Luckily, no one has proof of that damn hickey you gave me.” Jordan looked at him sternly, then continued. “Rebecca talked with me after you left. The entire staff is rooting for us, and she told me to get my head out of my ass and that I’m a good guy.”

Alex was quiet momentarily and said, “It’s a lot harder than they realize, right?”

Jordan nodded as he took a bite of his salmon.

“I was talking to Shadow before you got here. He’s cheaper than Dr. Martin and was available for a house call.” Jordan smiled as Alex continued. “We have known each other for such a short time, and yet when I’m with you, I’m a different person. A better person. I’m afraid I’ll ruin everything when you see the real me.” He took a drink of water and looked away.

“I hate being deaf. I hate the damn ‘brain drills’ that I’m forced to wear around people. I got into veterinary medicine because when I’m with an animal, I don’t need them. I can just be me, with no one judging me. I feel so awkward with people when they feel ‘awkward’ talking to me.” Jordan admitted.

“I have nightmares, really awful nightmares. I relive the ambush that killed half my squad a lot. I’m afraid to go to sleep,” Alex said.

"Jordan," he continued hesitantly, "how can two messed-up people like us find happiness together? It feels like we're both carrying our heavy baggage and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to be the man I once was."

Jordan looked at Alex, his expression severe but thoughtful. He had doubts and fears but believed in what Rebecca said earlier about their potential to heal together.

"Alex," Jordan replied gently, "we may have our issues to deal with, but that doesn't mean we're destined for failure. I think our shared experiences can make us even stronger."

He paused for a moment, then continued, "We both understand what it's like to face challenges and fight our battles. Instead of letting our past define us, we can support each other, heal, and build something new within each of us. Stop trying to be the man you were—that’s where you’re stuck. You are no longer the man before the ambush. You are a stronger man because you survived the ambush. You will always have scars, visible and invisible, but those scars remind you of battles you’ve won." Jordan reached out and placed a reassuring hand on Alex. "We can take this one step at a time, lean on each other when needed, and most importantly, communicate openly and honestly. It won't always be easy, but we can heal together if you want to try. Whatever happens, happens, no expectations."

Alex looked at Jordan with a mixture of shock and admiration. He shifted in his seat. “I like that you're deaf right now.”

Jordan looked puzzled and smiled, “Why?”

Alex looked innocently at Jordan and said, “You’ll see.”

He had been engrossed in their conversation when the pungent odor suddenly assaulted his senses. His eyes widened in horror, and he recoiled, his face contorted in exaggerated disgust. He waved his hand in front of his nose, attempting to dispel the invisible but lingering smell of Alex’s fart.

"Alex!" he exclaimed, his tone a mix of amusement and exaggerated indignation. "What the hell are you eating? It's like a toxic cloud of doom! I don't believe you!"

Alex laughed. “That was a loud one.”

Immune to his smell or having burned out his olfactory senses, he took a bite of salmon.

Looking horrified, Jordan got out of his seat, opened the window, stuck his face out for fresh air, and breathed.

Jordan's playful scolding was met with Alex's hearty laughter.

“You need a doctor, not a therapist. That’s just wrong.” Jordan turned and saw Alex’s face become lighter and more relaxed as he continued talking with a mouth full of food.

“Hey, look, rad-row-ee-ake,” Alex said.

Jordan looked at Alex. “I can’t understand you with a mouth full of food, caveman.”

Alex smiled broadly, swallowed, and pointed to the kennel, restating clearly, “Hey, look, Shadow’s awake.”

Jordan exclaimed, “Of course he is! You just stink-bombed the room.”

Any lingering tension from their earlier conversation dissipated into the air with laughter, much like the invisible scent of rotten eggs.

Chapter 17

Alex

After dinner, Jordan offered to help tackle the cleanup. He was very efficient with clearing the table and stacking the plates and utensils as he loaded the dishwasher. Their movements synchronized like they’d been doing this together for a long time.

With the kitchen tidied up, they made their way to the living room sofa. Alex smiled as they settled onto the couch, the atmosphere inviting.

"Hey," Alex began, his voice soft and caring. "Do you mind checking Shadow's bandages for me? To make sure they didn't get messed up during the car ride home."

Jordan nodded. "Of course, happy to."

He got down on the floor where Shadow was resting, and was met with an innocent set of eyes as Shadow perked up, his tail wagging gently.

Alex watched with a contented expression as Jordan crouched down to examine the bandages, his gentle and reassuring touch putting both Alex and Shadow at ease.

"Everything looks good," Jordan said, straightening up and giving Shadow a reassuring pat. "He's healing nicely, no sign of infection."

Alex let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate you looking at them. I know I’m just worrying, but this is all new territory for me."

“It’s fine. I told you that you’re not alone in this.” Jordan moved back to the couch. They moved closer together, and Alex wrapped his arm around Jordan’s shoulders. Jordan stroked his leg as he rested his head on his massive shoulder. “We have time to figure all of this out, Alex. Figure us out. Let’s take a day at a time and see where it leads us.”

Alex moved his face so that Jordan could see him.

“Deal,” he said softly and leaned into the cuddle.

They lay there for several minutes when Jordan said, “I think I better head home. Secret Beach again tomorrow?”

Alex paused momentarily. “What should I do with Shadow while we run?”

“Bring him with you,” Jordan suggested. “He will be fine in his kennel while we run, and after the run, we can move him to my Jeep, and I can take him to the clinic. You can come back home, shower, and come in after your appointment.”

Alex nodded. Then he leaned in for a gentle kiss. Jordan's mouth opened against his. Alex’s tongue searched his mouth and explored as he crushed against his tongue. Alex reached up, cupped Jordan’s jaw, and pulled him into the kiss, falling backward so that Jordan was on top of his body. Their erections were getting more challenging to control, and they both rubbed against each other and felt their hardness. Jordan made a sound, a soft moan that gave Alex goosebumps. It was so raw, so gentle, so vulnerable.

Jordan pushed off of Alex’s massive body and visibly tried to catch his breath. “Wow, we're getting good at that.”

Alex laughed. “We’ve figured out that part.” Then, looking at the bulge in Jordan’s scrubs, he pointed. “That, we still need to work on.” He raised and lowered his eyebrows playfully.

Jordan reached for Alex’s hands and gently pulled him off the couch, only because Alex pushed himself up with minimal effort. Alex, too, had a visible bulge.

“We’ll get there as soon as you accept your fate. I hate to be a cliché, but I like it doggy style,” Jordan said and playfully patted Alex on his ass.

Alex laughed aloud and reached for his shirt. “Not going to happen, pussycat,” he said, referring to all the kittens on Jordan's scrub top. “My virginity is intact, and it’s going to stay that way.”

Jordan laughed. “Don’t be so sure—trying new things will only make you more versatile.”

Alex busted out laughing, “You’re a dork.” He reached for Jordan, pulling him in, enveloping his body in a powerful hug, and kissed the top of his head.

“Be safe driving home. Text me and let me know you made it safely.” Alex gasped. “Shit, I’m getting to be just like Aunt Lynn.”

Jordan laughed. “Yeah, she’s done that to me before. I think it’s endearing.” They began walking toward the door, and Jordan reached down and said goodnight to Shadow, who had been intently watching the two of them.

“Be right back, boy,” Alex said as they headed out the door.

Walking closely up to his Jeep, Alex opened the door for Jordan and closed it once he got in the car. Jordan started the car and rolled down the window. Alex leaned down and stuck his head in for another kiss.

“Thanks for a great night,” Jordan said. “Dinner was amazing—you exceeded all of my expectations. Except for the fart, change your underwear before bed, yuck!”

Alex laughed and kissed him again. Pulling back, he said, “No worries, I sleep naked.”

Jordan looked at him surprised. “Okay, definitely adding that image to the spank bank.”

Alex stepped out of the driveway with a big smile on his face. He walked back inside the house and saw Shadow outside the kennel. His bandaged paw barely touched the ground.

“You okay, boy? Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m not going anywhere.” He walked over to the couch and sat on the floor. Shadow followed him, sat by his side, and leaned over awkwardly, falling into a laying position.

Once he started petting Shadow, he started to relax. He grabbed the remote and turned on the television, channel surfing for a moment. He landed on an old episode of Friends. As the episode was ending, his phone buzzed. He saw a meme of a large orange tabby squeezing through a tiny doggy door with the words, “Home Safe and Round.” He laughed aloud, showing Shadow his phone.

He searched his phone and returned a meme depicting a beagle puppy sleeping in a small blue hammock, with the words “Good Night!” His phone buzzed again to a heart on the meme.

He got up slowly, and Shadow moved with him. His movements were intentionally slow so that Shadow could get his bearings before trying to walk. He slowly walked over to the kitchen and prepared the food and medicine for Shadow. After removing the cone and watching to ensure the pill treats were consumed, he slowly took him outside in the fenced backyard and let him do his business. It took longer than he thought it would because everything in the yard had to be sniffed before he could relieve himself. They returned to the house and the floor in front of the couch, watching television.

Alex slowly stirred from his unexpected slumber, feeling a dull ache in his neck and the undeniable sensation of drool on the side of his face. He blinked his eyes open, momentarily disoriented as he tried to remember how he fell asleep on the living room floor.

As his vision cleared, Alex noticed Shadow with his head lying on his lap, peacefully sleeping away. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he gently extricated himself from the canine's embrace. Shadow stirred, and his tail began to wag gently.

With a stretch and a yawn, Alex realized how much time had passed since they had settled on the floor together. It had been nearly five hours, and he was surprised at how deeply he had slept.

He carefully got up slowly and waited as Shadow got up, petting his head. He whispered, "Time to go outside, buddy."

Shadow didn't protest as Alex led him slowly to the back door. They walked out into the yard, and he watched patiently as Shadow did his business, relieved to see that he was recovering well.

Once they returned inside, Alex knew it was time to make things more comfortable for them. He headed to the kennel, coaxed Shadow in, and gently helped him lie on the bedding. After placing the ‘cone of shame’ back on him, he quickly lifted the open-top kennel and relocated it next to the bed.

He set the alarm for five-thirty a.m. on his phone and plugged it in, then he went to the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth. He shed his clothes and climbed into bed, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over him. He watched Shadow settle into his crate, eyes drooping, clearly content to be close to his friend. Alex drifted back to sleep with the pup's soft breathing as a lullaby, feeling a newfound sense of peace and companionship in his home.

Alex woke up to the sound of his alarm, which had become a part of his daily routine. Groggily, he climbed out of bed and took Shadow outside for his morning business. The crisp morning air helped wake him as he watched over Shadow. After Shadow was done, he led him back inside.

As he packed up Shadow's things, he included everything the dog might need for the day. Shadow watched with curiosity as Alex efficiently packed everything into the back of his truck.

Dressed in his running gear, Alex hoisted Shadow's kennel and carried it to the truck, securing it in the back. With everything set, he hopped into the driver's seat and headed to the beach for their morning run.

The run was invigorating, with the waves crashing against the shore providing a soothing backdrop. Jordan and Alex had a great time, enjoying each other's company as they pushed themselves to run a little more complicated paths.

After their run, Alex carefully placed Shadow in Jordan's Jeep, ensuring he was comfortable. He said goodbye to Jordan, who promised to care for him. Alex drove home, knowing he had a few hours before his appointment with Dr. Martin.

Once home, Alex made himself breakfast and completed his meal prep. He showered and changed into fresh clothes. The anticipation of the upcoming therapy session weighed on him. He knew it was a necessary step in his journey toward healing, but it didn't make it any easier.

Sitting on the sofa in the therapy office, time was ending for their session. Alex leaned back and stretched, feeling relief and exhaustion. He had shared so much with Dr. Martin, recounting his recent experiences with Shadow, Jordan, and the animal clinic in great detail. He appreciated Dr. Martin's attentive and nonjudgmental presence.

Dr. Martin set his notepad aside and regarded Alex with a kind and understanding expression. "Thank you for sharing all of this, Alex. It's clear that you've been through a lot in the last two weeks, and these changes in your life are significant."

Alex nodded, his gaze shifting from Dr. Martin to the window, where the early morning sun painted light patterns on the wall. "Yeah, it's been a whirlwind, that's for sure. But it's been good in many ways. I feel like I'm finally starting to find some footing again."

Dr. Martin offered a supportive smile. "That's a positive step, Alex. Building connections and finding purpose can be instrumental in healing. Just remember to be patient with yourself and continue seeking the support you need from those around you and from our sessions. One thing that stood out for me today was the reaction that you said you had when the ladies at the clinic returned your T-shirts to you. Why such an extreme emotional reaction?”

Alex got very quiet for a moment, stiffening in his chair. “Because Doc, don’t you get it? I failed. The meat shield didn’t protect her husband.”

Chapter 18

Jordan

Jordan arrived at the clinic dressed in his running attire, a tank top and running shorts, his body glistening with sweat from his morning jog. As he entered the clinic, Brenda and Lisa gawked at his disheveled appearance.

Brenda, always one to tease, gave Jordan a playful look. "Looking good, Dr. J. Those morning runs are paying off. Woof!"

"Yeah, I've heard that running's great for the legs,” Lisa said, winking at him. “Yours are looking quite impressive."

Jordan chuckled, a bit embarrassed. "Are you two done? Come and help me get Shadow from my car, please."

With some good-natured banter, they managed to carry Shadow into the clinic and take him to the kennel area. After Shadow settled in the bedding, Jordan excused himself to run home and shower quickly and get dressed in his medical scrubs. His top today was covered in playful dachshunds. He then headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. As he ate, he thought about what Alex was doing and sent him some positive vibes for his therapy session.

Once breakfast was done, he grabbed his essentials and returned to the clinic.

After his third appointment that morning, he saw Alex walking through the clinic doors with a gloomy look. Jordan watched as he said hello to everyone. Despite his attempts to put on a fake smile whenever someone crossed his path, Jordan knew better and noticed the change in Alex's demeanor.

Jordan watched Alex check on Shadow and chat with Rebecca about the dog's progress. He shared information about their night last night, explaining how Shadow had eaten, walked, and even managed to go outside for his business.

Jordan sensed that something was amiss and decided to address it.

"Hey, Alex," Jordan began. "Do you have a minute?"

Without waiting for an answer, he gestured for Alex to follow him, leading the way to exam room three. The room offered a quiet and private space where they could have an open and honest conversation away from prying eyes and ears.

Inside exam room three, Jordan couldn't hide his concern any longer. He looked at Alex, searching his eyes for answers.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Alex hesitated momentarily, avoiding eye contact, but the sadness in his expression was undeniable. "Yeah," he replied softly, his voice heavy. "Just... it was a rough session with my therapist."

Jordan moved closer and stood beside him silently. No words were spoken for several minutes as they shared the weight of Alex's emotions. Finally, Jordan broke the silence.

"You know," he said soothingly, "it's okay to have those moments when everything feels stirred up. You don't have to go through it alone. I'm here for you if you need to talk or have someone to lean on." He reached out, and they hugged for several minutes.

Alex relaxed a little. “You know, they probably all think we’re in here doing it.”

Jordan laughed, and they held each other a little longer. Alex felt a little lighter after they broke apart. “Thank you, Jordan, for seeing me.”

Jordan shifted to look into his beautiful blue eyes. Trying to lighten the mood, he said, “Do you know it took three of us to carry Shadow in here?”

Alex laughed and kissed him on the forehead tenderly while regaining his hold on him in a tight hug. Looking at his top, he grabbed Jordan’s sleeve and said, “Weiner dogs?”

After several hours and many fake smiles, he noticed Alex seemed like his usual self. Alex was not only checking regularly on Shadow, but had become a fixture in the clinic, also helping out wherever he could with the owners and the patients, helping in the reception area to answer phones, and cleaning up messes in the daycare play area. Jordan saw him sneak away to play with the puppies in the training area before the classes started.

Just after lunch, Jordan saw Alex walking down the hall towards the reception desk. He tried to keep his voice calm as he approached him. “Linda is here.  She has an appointment today for Whiskers and Muffin.”

Alex turned to face him with a playful grin already forming on his lips. “Muffin hates me, you know. That little furball always seems to have it out for me.”

Jordan nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Muffin can be a bit of a handful when I have to give her shots, nut she is a sweetheart. Whiskers, on the other hand, he’s a big ole lovable tomcat that loves any attention at all.”

As they spoke, Jordan noticed Aunt Lynn, or Linda, as everyone at the clinic knew her, entering the clinic. They watched from across the large room as she walked in with her usual grace, her kitty carriers in each hand. Almost immediately, Brenda and Lisa rushed over to greet her, their faces lighting up at the sight of her.

“Look at that,” Jordan whispered to Alex. “The staff absolutely adores her.” They watched as Brenda and Lisa hugged her and three other team members and a volunteer approached her for hugs.

Alex nodded, his eyes following Brenda and Lisa as they took the kitty carriers from Linda, and walked the carriers over to the reception desk. “She’s always been like that. She just has this way with people.”

“It’s true. Linda isn’t just loved by the staff here at the clinic. She is revered. Not because she hired all of us, though that is part of it. Linda always shows us great kindness and treats everyone with dignity and respect. It doesn’t matter if you are the CEO of a major corporation or a janitor cleaning the toilets—Linda knows your name and is so kind.  We all joke that she goes from acquaintance to family and skips everything in between.

“She’s something else,” Alex said softly, his eyes still on Linda as she chatted warmly with Brenda at the reception desk. “One thing that she taught me early in life, is that she genuinely believes no one is above another. Everyone is equal. She was instrumental in forming my outlook on life as I grew up.”

Jordan nodded, feeling a surge of admiration for Linda and Alex’s relationship. She had a way of making everyone feel valued and important, and it was clear to see why she was so beloved by everyone at the clinic. As they watched her, Jordan couldn’t help but feel grateful to be part of her world, where kindness and respect were the cornerstones of her interactions with everyone she met.

They approached the reception desk where Linda was chatting with Brenda and Lisa. With a big smile on his face, Alex wrapped his muscular arms around Linda, lifting her slightly off the ground in a warm bear hug.

“Whoa, there, keep me on the ground honey!” Linda laughed, patting his back. “That is one tight-fitting volunteer shirt Alex.”

Brenda and Lisa exchanged amused glances. “It fits perfectly, if you ask us,” Brenda said, and Lisa nodded in agreement, both grinning.

Linda smiled up at Alex, her eyes twinkling. “I’m so happy you’re volunteering here, Alex. It’s wonderful having you here.”

Alex beamed, releasing her from the hug but keeping an arm around her shoulders. “I’m loving it here, Aunt Lynn. My daily routine is pretty great. I get to help care for Shadow, give tours to school kids, and assist wherever I’m needed. But my favorite part has to be playing in the puppy pit.”

Linda’s smile widened as she listened to him. “It sounds like you’re making a real difference, Alex. And the staff here, they’re treating you well?” She looks mischievously and Brenda and Lisa who return her look with pure innocence on their faces. Jordan smiled to himself.

“Oh, they’re amazing,” Alex replied enthusiastically. “Everyone is so kind and loving. It’s like a big family here. They’ve made me feel so welcome, and I’m learning so much from them every day.”

Watching and listening to the interaction, a wave of pride washed over Jordan. Seeing Alex so happy in that moment and hearing his positive words about the team filled his heart with joy. He knew the staff at the clinic were exceptional, but hearing it as genuinely as Alex is saying it made Jordan grateful for how special this place is. Alex’s words lingered in Jordan’s mind, and Jordan knew that this memory would be with him for a lifetime.

Jordan couldn’t help but feel grateful for his team’s dedication and the sense of community Linda had fostered here. Her mission statement and vision of kindness had created an environment where everyone thrived, from the animals in their care to the people working tirelessly to support them.

Jordan stepped a little closer, joining the small group and taking his turn and getting a hug from Linda. She looked around at them, her eyes filled with warmth. “I couldn’t be prouder of all of you. You’ve created a place where everyone, human and animal alike, can feel safe and loved.”

As he stood there, sharing smiles and feeling the bond that had formed among everyone present, he knew that this was more than just a job. It was his calling, his community, and his family. And in that moment, he felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and pride for being part of something so profoundly positive.

Jordan looked at everyone and smiled.  To Alex he said, “after we complete Whiskers and Muffins exam, would you like to take your Aunt to meet Shadow?”

Alex smiled and nodded. "Of course. I'd love for her to meet him."

Brenda said, “Okay, let’s get you settled into a room.  We put you in exam room three today.” She looked at Alex and Jordan with a devious smile.

Jordan coughed, stumbled with his words and said, “Exam room two is better let’s go there.” He glared at Brenda and Lisa as they walked toward the room.

Walking down the hallway, Linda asked, “What are you doing for dinner tonight, Alex?”.

Alex looked at Jordan. “I’m not sure. Jordan and I have been hanging out after work and grabbing dinner all week–-”

Jordan interrupted. “No worries at all, Alex. We didn’t make any formal plans, so go ahead and spend time with your aunt.”

“Why don’t you both come over to the house tonight, and I’ll cook on the grill,” Linda suggested.

Alex and Jordan looked at each other and smiled.

“That sounds like a plan,” Alex said. “Can we bring anything?”

“Nope, I have everything we need,” she said. “Let’s say seven.”

A momentary pause and a concerned look on his face made his aunt ask, “What?”

Alex responded, “I was thinking about Shadow. I don’t want him to be alone.”

“Well, bring him over, too. I’ll put Muffin in the bedroom, and Whiskers will be fine with him. If Muffin sees him, he will probably need another surgery.”

Jordan laughed aloud, which reminded him. “I’m going to run to my office to get my oven mitts for Muffin’s exam.”

Jordan left the two of them as they continued to walk towards the exam room with Brenda and Lisa carrying the kitty carriers.

Walking into the kennel area where the older and recovering dogs were kept, Jordan watched as Alex approached Shadow’s kennel and he introduced his aunt to Shadow.  Shadow immediately perked up at Alex’s approach and kept his eyes on him.  As Alex pet him, Jordan noticed that every time he pets Shadow’s head, he leans his head into Alex’s hand.  It showed a level of connection that was amazing to watch. 

Jordan went over Shadow’s injuries, his prognosis and treatment plan as Linda showed Shadow affection.  He took to her immediately.

“Is there any word on his owner?  Not his daughter, but the veteran who needed him as a service dog.” Linda asked.

Jordan answered, “No there is no word yet.  Alex and I spoke with Stephanie yesterday to update her on Shadow’s condition, and she said that she has had no luck finding her dad.”

After her appointment and spending time with Shadow, Linda said goodbye to everyone. Alex and Jordan watched as she went silently into one of the hallways. Alex started to follow her. Jordan caught up quietly and grabbed his arm.

“This is her alone time. Give her a few.”

Alex, stopped and turned to face Jordan. “Where is she going?”

Jordan pulled him back to the main hallway. “When we built this building, Linda wanted us to create a special area. We call it the Wall of Miracles. We take pictures of all the animals that come in with life-threatening injuries that we’re responsible for saving. It’s a daily reminder of the good that we do here. When she comes to the clinic, we notice that she likes to visit it, so we all give her some space so that she can see what she has created here. Daniel has told me that on more than one occasion, she came in the middle of the night and just sat and stared at the wall. It's special to her.”

Alex was mystified and in wonder at how beautiful his aunt’s soul truly was. He thanked Jordan for sharing that part of her with him.

The afternoon at the clinic was a busy and fulfilling one. Alex and Jordan, along with the rest of the staff, had tended to various animal patients, and by the end of the day, it seemed to Jordan that Alex was in a much better mood with a genuine smile for everyone.

As the day neared the end, they finished their tasks, said their goodbyes to the clinic staff, and headed to Linda's house for the barbecue. Jordan quickly stopped at his place to grab some clothes that were more suitable for the evening.

When they arrived at Alex's house to change, the anticipation for the barbecue filled the air. Alex chose a light-blue button-down shirt that brought out the color of his eyes and a pair of dark jeans. He looked effortlessly handsome.

Jordan decided on a more casual yet stylish look. He wore a well-fitted white T-shirt, a light gray blazer, and khaki trousers. His choice of clothing was both comfortable and fashionable. With their attire sorted, they left Alex's house and went to Linda's together.

Sitting in Linda's immaculate backyard, Jordan felt content. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, the tantalizing aroma of the barbecue briquets, and the warm embrace of spring.

Linda had outdone herself with the grilled feast. The chicken and steak were cooked to perfection, tender and flavorful, with just the right hint of smokiness. The broccoli and cheese casserole melted in the mouth, and the sautéed vegetables added color and freshness to the meal. Baked potatoes, crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, completed the savory ensemble.

Linda had prepared a delicious chocolate mousse for dessert and served it with some berries. Its velvety texture and rich chocolate flavor were delightful. But for Alex, she had created a special treat—a protein mousse that brought a smile to his face. It seemed that his affinity for protein dated back to his teenage years.

The conversation flowed effortlessly as they savored each bite of the delicious meal. Linda's personality and warmth had a way of bringing people together. She and Jordan shared hearty laughs, and even though he protested the excess of protein for Alex, Linda’s quick-witted response was, “Why do you think we always eat outside when he comes over?”

The backyard was adorned with blooming flowers and lush greenery, and the sun was beginning to set, casting a golden hue over the gathering. It was a perfect spring evening, filled with the joy of good food, great company, and the promise of more laughter and shared moments. Jordan felt grateful to be a part of it.

Amid the laughter and camaraderie, Jordan asks, “Do you have some embarrassing stories about Alex's past?” With a mischievous glint in her eye, Linda was more than willing to share. She leaned in and began with a wicked grin.

"All right, here's one," Linda began, relishing the opportunity to tease Alex. "When he was twenty-three years old, he visited me on leave from the army."

Alex chimed in. “No… No… No!”

Linda ignored him and continued. “He drove in late Friday night, and the next morning, I let him sleep late.” Alex put his head down, sighing. “So, I thought I would clean his car while he was sleeping. He had so many dirty clothes thrown in the back seat and the back of the hatchback of that old clunker he had. My girlfriend came over with her son to help me, and as we were pulling the clothes out of the back of his car. Well, this bag fell out that was mixed in with all of his dirty clothes, and out flew all this gay porn and stuff all over my driveway.”

Jordan started laughing uncontrollably, and Linda continued. “DVDs, magazines, sex toys, a penis pump, and fuzzy handcuffs.”

Alex interjected, looking at Jordan. “The handcuffs were not mine.”

Linda shushed him. “Anyway, all this gay paraphernalia just flew all over my driveway, and her eight-year-old son started running around trying to pick it all up.” Jordan was still laughing. Linda looked at Alex and said, “Really, of all the things that fell out of that bag, you tell him the handcuffs weren’t yours, but are ok with the penis pump?”

Alex looked mortified and slinked out of his chair under the table. Jordan was the happiest he had been in a long time.

Linda continued. “My girlfriend was not mad or anything, but a week later, I had to go to her house and explain to her husband that I was sorry that his son now knew what a butt plug was.”

Still under the table, Alex shouted, “That wasn’t mine either!”

Tears were streaming down Jordan’s face.

“You can come out now, honey. Your mean ol’ aunt is done telling stories about you.” Linda laughed and ate a strawberry.

As Jordan and Alex left Linda's house with strict instructions for them to call when they returned to Alex’s to let her know they arrived safe, the warmth of her hospitality lingered in their hearts. They exchanged smiles and laughter on the drive back to Jordan's place, still savoring the wonderful evening they had spent together and rehashing the shared stories.

Upon arriving at Alex's house, they decided to unwind with a bit of television. Jordan placed his hearing aids back in so that he could enjoy the comedy. The soft glow from the screen filled the room with a gentle ambiance, creating a cozy atmosphere that made them feel very comfortable. Shadow, ever-watchful, nestled comfortably inside his kennel nearby, happy they had removed his cone of shame for a while.

Jordan and Alex settled onto the couch, finding solace in each other's presence. Jordan's arm naturally draped around Alex's shoulders, drawing him close as they snuggled into the cushions. The soothing sound of the television provided a backdrop to their affectionate moments.

Their fingers interlaced, and they exchanged sweet glances between shared laughter at the show's humor. The warmth of their bodies pressed together was matched only by the warmth of their emotions, which seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment.

Shadow, content in his kennel, watched them with his wise eyes, occasionally letting out a soft, contented sigh. Jordan was enjoying the show and looked over. Alex had drifted off to sleep, his head resting on Jordan’s arm.

Chapter 19

Alex

Alex dozed on the couch, his body finally surrendering to the comforts of relaxation. His breathing became shallow, and his brow furrowed with the onset of a troubling dream.

The screaming and chaos in the moment was overwhelming.  The arrival of the other unit that was answered their plea for help saved them.  His blood poured through the wound in his right side, but amidst all of the chaos of the moment he rushed to Brian’s side.  He tore through two men who tried to help him and landed on his knees next to Brian.  Brian was shot in several places and blood drained from his body.

“Don’t please, don’t you dare give up. Stay with me, Brian.” Alex pleaded.  Brian lay on his back, his skin ashen white as he focused his eyes on an area just past Alex’s head. He smiled.

“Medic, I need a fucking medic over here now.” Alex screamed.

Tears streamed down his face as he hovered over his best friend, bending down to hold him.

“Amanda will be pissed.  Tell her, tell her….‘I love her more”. Brian placed his hand on Alex’s arm and then drifted away, his hand falling to the side.

Alex screamed.  A scream that penetrated his very soul.

As Alex relived the heartbreaking moment in his dream, his unease intensified. His body twitched, and he mumbled “Brian” softly, trapped in the memory's grip.

Alex heard gunshots and barking. He felt hands try to pull him off Brian.  He did not want to leave his best friend.

Just like always, as suddenly as it began, the nightmare fractured, disintegrating into a thousand shards of pain and torment. Alex jolted awake, his breath ragged, his body drenched in sweat.

He rose, covered in sweat, as tears began to roll down his cheeks.  Jordan remained close to him.  His face was filled with concern and fear. Alex was trying to make sense of everything.  Shadow was up, out of his kennel, anxious, barking and nudging Alex.  As Alex regained some of his senses, Shadow began to nuzzle his arm opposite Jordan.

Jordan held Alex tightly, saying, “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe. Alex, you're safe. It’s okay.”

Embarrassed, shaken, and scared, Alex sat on the couch. He looked at Jordan’s face, which now was full of tears. “I’m sorry. God, Jordan, I’m so sorry.”

Alex tried to get up to escape, but Jordan held tight with the help of Shadow, pinning Alex’s arm under them both.

“Alex, stop. Relax, it’s okay. It was just a nightmare, okay? I’m fine, we’re fine. Look, it’s okay. It just startled me, but I’m fine, okay?” Jordan pulled back and lifted a weakened and flustered Alex to the sitting position. “It’s okay, you are okay.” Shadow remained next to Alex, lying on him.

Alex began to pat Shadow’s head and held Jordan’s hand. “I’m sorry that I scared you.”

Jordan looked at him and stroked his cheek. “It’s okay. As long as you are okay, everything is good.”

Alex smiled softly. “You can stop saying the word ‘okay’ now.”

Jordan sat beside Alex on the couch, his concern etched on his face. His comforting words did little to alleviate the gravity of the situation.

"I had no idea that anything was wrong," Jordan admitted. "I thought you were sweating because you were hot, you know, because you always run so damn hot. But Shadow knew before you started screaming."

Alex looked at Jordan, puzzled.

"This is amazing," Jordan continued, a sense of wonder in his voice. "Shadow must be trained to sense PTSD episodes and help his person come out of them."

“They can do that?” Alex asked.

Jordan replied, “I’ve heard of dogs being able to tell if a seizure is about to occur in a person with epilepsy or a diabetic, so it makes sense that maybe Shadow was trained to sense how the body reacts during a PTSD episode. Alex, he was amazing. Even with his injured paw, he sprung up and to your side. It was beautiful to witness him trying to help you.”

Alex nodded, his expression a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion. He reached down to stroke Shadow's fur, silently thanking the faithful companion who had been there for him.

Just then, Alex’s demeanor changed, and he had a look of horror on his face. “Jordan, you and I thought Shadow jumped into my window because something startled or chased him. I was having a nightmare the night he jumped in. His shattering the glass woke me from it. I remember hearing barking just before I woke but was fuzzy, dizzy, and confused. If what you are saying is true, I’m why Shadow almost died.” Alex’s heart broke. His shoulders slumped, and he looked at Shadow and began crying. “I’m so sorry, so sorry.”

Jordan reached out to him. “It wasn’t your fault, Alex. You didn’t do anything to Shadow on purpose. Shadow was just doing what he was trained to do. He must have been outside and sensed you were in trouble, and he reacted to his training. You didn’t do this to him.”

The words fell on deaf and stubborn ears, and Alex broke.

“Jordan, I did this to him,” Alex said harshly. Jordan reached over to touch his arm, and Alex jerked it away, forcibly scaring Jordan with his action. Screaming at Jordan, he repeated, “I did this to him! Don’t you see? I am so fucked up in the head that the pain I cause isn’t only to me but to everyone around me. I should never have come here, Jordan. What if something happens to you or Aunt Lynn? What if my mind is so fucked up that my nightmares or panic attacks hurt people that I care about or an innocent dog who just happened to pass by a half-open window. He almost died. What the fuck kind of asshole am I that I would do that to him, to you, to her?”

Jordan, trying to remain calm, tried to say something, and Alex cut him off. “Go, Jordan. Go and take Shadow with you. I don’t want him getting hurt being around me. I can’t deal with this. I can’t be responsible for another person's or animal's death, Jordan, I can’t. I’m not strong enough. Go! Get out, go!” Alex was screaming. “Please stay away from me. It’s my fault, Jordan.”

Alex ran out of the room and entered the bedroom, slamming the door and screaming. “Go, please go, leave now!”

Sitting in the bedroom, Alex cried. Not a typical cry, but one that shakes you to the core of who you are. A cry that goes so deep it takes your breath away, and you feel like you are choking for lack of air and mucus falling from your nose. The tears were so painful that his eyes burned. He let Decker die, he hurt Shadow, Martin and Captain Hardwood were dead because of him. He looked at the repaired window of the bedroom and played back in his mind’s eye the moment when Shadow almost bled out. It brought so much despair and unhappiness that Alex didn’t know if he could go on. He sat on the floor at the foot of the bed and kept shouting “It’s all my fault!” over and over into the air, losing all track of the present.

A soft knock at the door brought him back to reality. He was covered in sweat and mucus. He even vomited a little, he thought, because of the sour smell. “Jordan, please leave. Please take Shadow and just leave. I can’t, Jordan, I can’t hurt you.”

A soft voice entered the room. “Alex, honey, it’s me, Aunt Lynn.”

She entered the room, and Alex started to cry again, wailing, not knowing how his body could produce more tears. Aunt Lynn raced across the room to where he was sitting on the floor and got down and held him tightly. He was crying so hard, and held him and didn’t say a word. She let him cry as much as he wanted, caressing his soft hair. He was so much bigger than her, yet in that moment, at that time, he was like a babe in her arms. He was four years old again, with a skinned knee. He was eight years old again, with a broken arm. He was sixteen years old again, with a broken heart, because he was rejected by those who were supposed to love him. She was his anchor. She always had been, she always would be.

She was here.

Chapter 20

Jordan

When Alex slammed the door to his bedroom, Jordan was on his phone. He texted, “Alex’s house 911 PTSD,” and then he had to do all that he could to calm Shadow down. Shadow was a robust dog, and his training took over—he wanted to be with his person when they were going through an episode. Jordan took every bit of energy to calm the dog so he would not reopen his stitches. He got him back into the kennel and spoke calmly to him. In his bedroom, Alex shouted. Jordan didn’t know how to handle this situation—he hoped that Linda would.

After ten minutes, he called her. She was already in the car and on her way over. He cried on the phone. He told her everything from when they returned to Alex’s house. About the dream, Shadow, and the horror Alex felt responsible for Shadow’s injuries. She cried on the phone alongside Jordan on the drive over. She arrived minutes into their conversation, and Jordan let her in.

“Should I leave?” he asked, in utter defeat and fear.

“No, honey, you stay out here in case I need you. Is Shadow okay?”

Jordan looked over at the dog. He was still anxious but remained in his kennel. “Yeah, he is calmer, though he’s still on alert because he knows his person is in trouble.”

Linda nodded and hugged Jordan tight. “I’m sorry that you had to go through this, Jordan. I know it’s scary.” Linda held him fast. “I want you to wait out here and listen if I need you. Here’s my phone. The unlock code is one-zero-one-four, and in my contacts, you will see Eric Martin, Alex’s therapist. If things go all wild in there, you call him. He’ll pick up if he sees my number.”

Jordan nodded. “I’m so scared, Linda. He’s in so much pain that it hits you in the face. He thinks he’s responsible for the deaths of this squad.”

“His best friend died that night, Jordan. Someone who loved and respected Alex very much. They were as close as brothers. The night that Brian died, a piece of Alex’s soul died, too. For the last two years, he has been trying to learn how to live without that fragment of his soul that he lost that night in that damn ambush. The closest I have seen to a glimpse of his old self was tonight in my backyard with you. Don’t give up on him, sweetie. He may be scary and smelly, but he is a fine man.”

And with that, and with the determined look of a woman on a mission, she headed to the bedroom.

About an hour later, Jordan heard stirring in the bedroom. The living room where he had been sitting was so silent that he could hear a pin drop. He was wide awake, even though it was past his bedtime. He looked at Shadow lying in the kennel, whose ears perked up, and he looked toward the hallway.

Emerging from the hallway was Alex, looking very tired and defeated. He was wearing a t-shirt that said “Superhuman” on it. Next to him, Linda was holding his hand as they headed into the living room.

“He’s feeling better now,” Linda said. “He's just exhausted, and he wanted to come out and see you and Shadow.”

Still on edge, Jordan looked at Alex’s face and hollow eyes.

“This is the me that I was afraid you would see,” Alex said, sounding defeated. I’m sorry I yelled at you and scared you. If you don’t want me to volunteer at the clinic anymore, I understand.”

Jordan straightened his posture, drawing from an inner reservoir of strength, confidence, and resilience that had remained dormant until that moment. With unwavering determination, he approached Alex, locking eyes with him, and spoke firmly. "Is that all? Is that the best you've got? I've faced scarier bullies in seventh grade, the ones who tried to flush my ‘megaphones’ down a toilet."

He continued, his voice carrying a newfound conviction. "What I witnessed tonight is nothing I can't handle. I've weathered storms, Alex, and I'm much tougher than you might think. It's going to take more than that to scare me away. As for the clinic, do you think we only heal animals there?  We help this community and are proud of the changes we’ve made in people’s lives. You are no exception."

Alex looked taken aback by his unexpected response and stood there in silent amazement. Jordan knew that he needed his unwavering support and was going to use his newfound strength as if it were like a beacon of hope, shining brightly in the darkness of Alex's struggle with PTSD to help him.

"You're on a healing journey, Alex," Jordan spoke softly, his voice laced with sincerity. "I've seen the proof of it. You decided to move here, see a new therapist, and volunteer at the clinic—all steps toward healing. This week, I've witnessed the changes when you're surrounded by people who care about you and who support you. You're no longer shouldering the world's burdens on your own Atlas. You have my shoulders, Linda's, the girls at the clinic, and even Shadow's. Let us help you bear the weight you've carried for so long."

Approaching Alex, Jordan locked eyes with him, his voice filled with determination.

"We've got this, Alex. You're not alone, and I'm not running away from you. I'm running to you." With that, he reached out, pulling Alex into a tight embrace.

As the tension in the room slowly dissipated, Linda made to leave.

"Thank you, Jordan," she said. "For everything." Her voice cracked.

"Linda, you've been a true blessing tonight," Jordan replied. "I don't know what we would have done without you."

Linda turned her attention to Alex. She reached out and gently touched his arm.

"Take care, dear," she said. “Call me tomorrow, okay?” He nodded.

“Aunt Lynn, thank you for coming over so late and for talking me off the ledge.  Thank you for always being there for me throughout my life.”

Linda approached Alex and Jordan and reached up to hug Alex tightly.  “I agree with Jordan, honey, we’re not going anywhere.  She threw back a phrase that Alex has used with her over the years, “I have your six!” She smiled, and Alex laughed.

Jordan walked her to the door. "I'll stay the night, Linda, just to keep an eye on Shadow," he mentioned, knowing full well that his presence was as much for Alex's sake as it was for the recovering dog.

“Call us when you get home so we know you made it safely,” he added. She nodded and bid them both goodnight.

After her departure, Alex and Jordan found themselves in the quiet of Alex's living room, the weight of the evening's events still hanging heavy in the air. Shadow lay in his kennel, peaceful and still.

Jordan, his heart full of compassion and understanding, moved closer to Alex. He reached out and gently took Alex's hand, a silent gesture of support. Their fingers intertwined, and they stood silently momentarily.

Finally, Alex spoke. "Thank you for not running away," he whispered, his eyes searching Jordan's.

Jordan smiled. "I'm not going anywhere," he replied softly, his thumb gently caressing Alex's hand.

“So, you’re staying the night, huh?” Alex asked.

Jordan nodded. “Yeah, I want to be here in case Shadow needs me.”

Alex smiled at Jordan knowingly. “Shadow is grateful that you were here tonight and that you’re staying.”

Jordan kissed Alex softly, tasting a hint of salt from Alex’s dried tears. He walked over to the kitchen counter, took out his hearing aids, and sat them on a paper towel in the center of the table.

“Feels good to get those damn things out.”

Alex walked over and gently massaged his head and ears where the hearing aids that Jordan hates so much reside. Jordan closed his eyes and let him. It felt perfect.

“So, I’ll just crash on the couch tonight,” Jordan said casually.

Alex turned to face Jordan. “Well, when Shadow and I sleep, I put his kennel beside my bed. I’m not sure how you’ll be able to hear him stir out here. Maybe for Shadow’s sake, you should come to sleep in my bed tonight,” Alex said with a smile on his face.

Having fed Shadow and given him his meds at Linda’s house tonight during the barbeque, Jordan said, “Well. For Shadow’s sake, okay. Let’s run him out one more time to go potty.”

Lovingly and humorously, Alex said, “Potty? Really?”

“The other day in the breakroom, you said, 'I’m going to the head.’ The ‘potty’ isn’t worse or better than your military bathroom reference. Full transparency, though, when I heard you say it for a moment, I thought you said, ‘I’m going to get head.’ I laughed about that all morning to myself,” Jordan said, and Alex laughed along with him.

Going outside slowly with Shadow, they held each other as they waited patiently for Shadow to sniff every part of the yard, looking for that sweet spot.

As they came back inside, Shadow walked directly to his open-top kennel and went in and laid down. Jordan walked over to the table, picked up the cone of shame, and walked over to him.

Alex faced Jordan and said, “I hate that thing; he thinks we’re being mean to him.”

Jordan shook his head in amusement. “He does not. It will help him to heal.”

Alex shook his head in mock disgust.

Alex picked the kennel up and walked it into the bedroom, with Jordan following him. As they entered the bedroom, Alex set the kennel down on the right side of the bed.

“Are you okay on the left side? I’m a righty,” Alex asked.

Jordan laughed. “Yep, that works perfectly. I sleep on the left usually.”

“I have some extra toothbrushes if you want to brush your teeth.” He paused a second after seeing the smile on Jordan’s face. “No, I don’t have men over a lot—I bought them from Costco.”

Jordan looked at him innocently and said, “I didn’t say a thing.”

Jordan’s phone rang and vibrated, and he saw Linda calling.

“Can you answer? I took out my ‘Sonic Boomers’ already.”

Alex nodded and took the phone. He answered the phone and turned away from Jordan, heading into the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a pack of toothbrushes, with one missing from the pack, and handed the pack to Jordan.

Hanging up the phone, Alex said, “She’s home safe, and she said to say thank you and sweet dreams.”

Jordan nodded. “She’s so incredible. I wish I had an Aunt Lynn.”

Alex laughed. “You are not the first person who has said that to me.”

The moonlight spilled through the sheer curtains, casting a soft glow in the bedroom as Alex and Jordan prepared for bed. Jordan made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

The bathroom was a cozy enclave of warmth and intimacy. Cream-colored tiles lined the walls, and a small potted plant perched on the windowsill, its leaves rustling softly in the night breeze. The mirror above the sink reflected the muted colors of the room, creating an atmosphere of calmness and peace.

As Alex entered, Jordan flashed him a smile, a silent welcome into the shared space. They stood side by side at the sink, their reflections merging in the mirror. Alex reached for his toothbrush, his movements mirroring Jordan's. They applied toothpaste in tandem, a quiet choreography born of natural chemistry.

Jordan watched Alex through the mirror, observing how he closed his eyes slightly, focusing on the task with a serene expression. Alex opened his eyes and met his reflection, their eyes locking in the mirror.

The foam gathered at the corners of their mouths, and they rinsed in unison, the water swirling down the drain in a symphony of tiny whirlpools. They wiped their mouths with soft towels, the fabric whispering against their skin.

As they turned off the bathroom lights, their hands brushed, a fleeting touch that sent a current of warmth through them. They exited the bathroom, stepping back into the bedroom where the night awaited.

“Can I borrow a huge t-shirt and a pair of shorts to sleep in?” Jordan asked.

Turning to face him, Alex said with a playful sneer, “You sleep in clothes?”

Jordan laughed. “Yes, you neanderthal, I sleep in clothes. I’m a doctor, and sometimes I must rush out of bed for emergencies.” He looked and pointed at Shadow’s kennel.

Alex laughed and walked over to his dresser, pulled out a pair of workout shorts and a t-shirt, and tossed them with a smile to Jordan. “Suit yourself, but I sleep naked.”

Faster than Jordan had ever seen anyone get undressed, Alex has ripped off his shirt, jeans, and underwear and was standing there in all of his naked glory.

Jordan blushed, but he didn’t look away. He was mesmerized. Alex was absolute perfection and everything that Jordan had ever wished for. Seeing his beauty, he suddenly got self-conscious.

“Well, I definitely can’t take my clothes off in front of you; no way I can compare to that,” he said, pointing toward Alex.

Alex approached Jordan, who held a pile of clothes in his hands, unsure how to proceed. With a reassuring smile, Alex gently took the clothes from Jordan's grasp and placed them neatly on the nightstand.

Standing before Jordan, Alex's actions were tender. He knelt to untie Jordan's shoes. Jordan touched Alex's broad shoulder lightly, silently acknowledging his actions. Alex carefully removed each shoe and sock. Jordan's breathing, slightly heightened by the moment, was the only sound. Alex rose and met Jordan's gaze.

Gently, Alex helped Jordan out of his clothes. The removal of the belt was done with care, the fabric gliding smoothly through the loops. The belt was rolled and placed alongside the other items.

When Alex lifted Jordan's white t-shirt, Jordan raised his arms in cooperation, like a dance.

"You are breathtaking," Alex whispered.

Jordan's response was a soft blush. Together, they carefully removed Jordan's khaki pants. Jordan's hands found Alex's shoulders again for balance. Jordan was left in only his black briefs.

Alex reached for his t-shirt that said, “No better friend, no worse enemy.” He kissed Jordan softly and then put the shirt over his head. He held it so that Jordan could put his arms in the sleeves. The t-shirt was comically huge and very soft on Jordan's skin. Alex reached for the shorts and lowered down as Jordan placed his hands back on Alex’s shoulders to balance. Alex raised the huge shorts onto Jordan’s thinner frame.

Alex reached into the nightstand drawer, pulled out an extra phone charger, and plugged it into the wall, then went for Jordan’s phone and plugged it in to charge. Walking around the bed naked, he plugged his phone in and set the alarm. They both got into the bed and faced each other, no words spoken.

In the soft glow of the evening, their eyes met. The world seemed to pause, the air charged with anticipation. Slowly, deliberately, they moved closer, their breaths mingling in the space that diminished between them.

Their eyes closed as the distance closed, and time seemed to stand still. Their lips met softly at first, a tentative touch filled with deep longing and gentle curiosity. The kiss deepened, a harmonious blend of passion and tenderness as if they were discovering a hidden language known only to their souls.

Alex's hands found their way to Jordan's face, fingers gently caressing his jawline, while Jordan's arms wrapped around Alex, pulling him closer, deepening their kiss. The kiss was like a spark igniting a fire, a slow build of warmth that spread through them, filling every corner of their hearts. It was tender yet passionate, like a melody harmonizing two souls, where every touch and breath felt like they were writing their own love story with each passing second.

Their hearts beat in unison, the kiss growing more intense yet somehow remaining gentle, a perfect balance of intensity and softness. The world around them faded into a blur, the sounds and sights of the evening melting away until there was nothing but the two of them, lost in the beauty of the moment.

As they slowly pulled away, Jordan’s eyes opened, reflecting a mixture of awe and wonder. The kiss had been more than a mere touch of lips. It was a conversation without words, a journey through the depths of their emotions, leaving them breathless and yet more alive than ever before. It was a kiss that encapsulated hope, healing, and the unbreakable bond of two hearts intertwining.

Chapter 21

Alex

In the tranquility of the early morning, Alex laid in bed in a peaceful slumber. The cold plastic cone of shame poked his shoulder and cheek. It interrupted his peace.

He woke up and saw Shadow—who clearly needed to go out to do his business—next to the bed. He extricated himself from the warm covers. He made sure not to disturb Jordan's rest. He couldn't help but smile at seeing Jordan so peaceful, a soft smile on his lips even in sleep.

Creeping through the room, Alex slipped on his slippers and grabbed his robe from the hook near the bed. Shadow watched him with patient eyes, his tail wagging. Alex opened the bedroom door, motioning for Shadow to lead the way. The dog moved slowly yet deliberately, his paws silent on the wooden floor. The cone of shame scraped against every wall Shadow approached.

Alex felt a refreshing sense of peace as they entered the cool morning air. The gentle light of dawn bathed the backyard, with shadows and light playing among the trees. Shadow trotted ahead, sniffing and finding his spot to do his business. Alex stood there, his mind still in the warm bed. A smile played on his lips as he thought of Jordan.

Shadow completed his morning routine. He limped back to Alex. His tail wagged with contentment. Alex patted the loyal animal's head. Shadow had brought so much change into Alex and Jordan's lives. They shared a moment of silent understanding, a man and his dog, in the quiet beauty of the breaking day.

As they went back inside, Alex looked down the hallway. He thought about the fantastic destiny that had brought Shadow into their lives. Shadow had led him to Jordan, something he would forever be grateful for.

They re-entered the bedroom. Jordan was still asleep, the soft morning light casting a glow on his face. Alex led Shadow through the door, hoping to avoid more scrapes on the wall. Then, Alex returned to bed, trying not to wake Jordan. Shadow settled down in his kennel next to the bed, sighing.

Alex lay there and watched Jordan sleep. Jordan stirred from his slumber. He opened his eyes and adjusted to the soft light. Alex fixed his gaze on him, filled with warmth and affection.

"Good morning," Jordan said, his voice soft and husky from sleep. His words hung in the air, a gentle greeting in the peaceful morning.

"Morning," Alex replied, his voice as soft. "Did you sleep well?"

Jordan stretched. "Yeah," he said, his smile matching Alex's.

The room around them was still, the only sound the faint breathing of Shadow in his corner. It felt like time had stopped in that snapshot. Everything felt right.

Jordan propped himself up on one elbow, facing Alex more. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

Alex's smile widened. "How lucky I am," he said. "Waking up next to you, having Shadow here with us... It feels serene, like a dream I never want to wake up from."

Jordan reached out, his hand finding Alex's, their fingers intertwining. "Me too."

Alex leaned forward and kissed him. He explored his lips, searching his mouth with this tongue.

He moved closer and leaned forward to envelop Jordan. He raised his left leg over Jordan's body. His erection grew more noticeable as he rubbed against Jordan's thigh. Jordan reached down and grabbed Alex's dick in his hand. His hands felt so warm and soft. Jordan explored with his fingertips. First, touching the head, then the shaft. He moved the tips of his fingers to Alex’s smooth balls. Alex's body was tense and rigid, now covered in slippery wetness. Jordan teased Alex, causing intense frustration. The tactile sensation was incredible. Alex's body tingled with anticipation for Jordan's next move.

Jordan grabbed Alex’s shaft and began to rotate his wrist so that his hand made a twisting motion. Alex was above average in size and was thick. He fit perfectly in Jordan’s hand.

Alex began to thrust his hips gently into Jordan’s hand. Alex’s lips moved to Jordan’s neck. Alex suddenly jerked in surprise. Jordan tightly grasped his dick, causing Alex to whimper.

Jordan said, "I’ll make you regret putting another hickey on my neck.”

Alex laughed out loud and then looked at the wicked smile on Jordan’s beautiful face. He released the grip and continued his gentle caress with Alex warned.

Alex said, “Understood.” He then opened his mouth and continued licking on his neck.

The entire time Jordan was moving his hand over his foreskin, his dick, and cupping his balls. The sensation was incredible. It combined teasing, tenderness, and slight roughness. When Jordan was wild and dominant, Alex moaned louder.

This was a new experience for Alex. He had always been in control—the thought of giving up control to Jordan shocked him, yet it felt perfectly natural. It was something he was open to exploring in the right circumstances. Alex's breathing became labored—the sensation was extraordinary. He pulled back slightly. He gazed into Jordan's stunning green eyes. That intensified the experience. Alex’s core tightened, his dick sliding in and out of Jordan’s hand.

He reached under his oversized t-shirt on Jordan and began rubbing his chest, and Jordan increased the speed of his jerking. His foreskin pulled back and forth—the feeling was incredible. Alex started to pump his hips, and Jordan increased his jacking speed. 

Jordan pushed Alex onto his back. Simultaneously, he rose and sat on his knees on Alex’s left quad with Alex’s legs spread. This allowed him to get a better grip and increase his tempo. Alex's face contorted. He felt the orgasm building. Jordan continued jerking.

Jordan put his other hand down between Alex’s legs under his balls, and Alex spread his legs wider for him. This move surprised Alex; he felt so open and vulnerable to him. Jordan played with and explored Alex’s hole gently, then cupped his balls and squeezed, pushing Alex to the limit. Alex’s body and face reacted. Jordan controlled his every movement with touch. Every caress and squeeze had an impact.

Jordan continued to jerk on Alex’s cock when he reached down and grabbed Alex’s left nipple. Alex had his eyes closed and writhed back in ecstasy. When he felt Jordan’s fingers on his nipple, he moaned as his body jolted. Jordan ran his fingers over his other nipple, and Alex was overwhelmed by the sensations. Alex’s body started jerking and spasming uncontrollably. He let out a moan and ejaculated onto his stomach, legs, chest, and arms.

Alex looked up at Jordan, and he was smiling the most fantastic smile. Alex’s release covered Alex’s chest and the bed linens. Jordan fell forward on top of Alex and kissed him hard, passionately, and in a way that made Alex feel safe.

After a few moments of delightful kissing, Jordan moved up Alex’s body and straddled his face with his crotch. He reached into his shorts and pulled out his erect dick. Then he started rubbing it on Alex's face. Looking into each other’s eyes, Alex was mesmerized. Jordan's strength and confidence allowed him to take charge confidently. It was very arousing. 

Jordan's dick was larger and thicker than Alex's. He rubbed it on Alex's face, moving it around and making slapping sounds on his cheeks.

Jordan took his thumb and reached for Alex’s mouth, which opened freely. He then took the tip of his dick and placed it on Alex’s lips. The circumcised head of his dick brushed up on his lips and probed his anxious tongue.

Jordan thrust a little, and the entire head went into Alex’s mouth. Alex was surprised by the size of Jordan's dick. This experience was new and enjoyable for him.

Jordan leaned forward and pushed himself deeper into Alex’s throat. Alex started to approach his breaking point, feeling overwhelmed.

Jordan said, "Breathe deeply and relax." He stayed still, not moving, as Alex grew more comfortable. 

Jordan reached out and grabbed a handful of Alex's hair. He gently but firmly pulled Alex's head toward him.

Alex’s arms remained outstretched to his side. 

"Open up for me, breathe, and take what I give you," Jordan thrust intensely. He gripped Alex's hair and head. Alex noticed Jordan's blissful expression. He felt his thrust intensifying, becoming deeper. Alex concentrated on his breathing, feeling tears flow as Jordan persisted. Jordan tightened his grip on Alex's hair. No one had ever done that to Alex before. It felt amazing to be held so firmly. At this moment, he wanted to please Jordan. 

Jordan tensed and pulled out of Alex's mouth. Then, he started stroking it while Alex watched and listened to his moans. His body was perfectly formed. Jordan's spasms revealed his strength, which held Alex down on the bed. Jordan spurted all over Alex’s face—an onslaught of salty venom burned his eyes and fell into his ears. Jordan continued to moan and spasm, leaving Alex feeling very wet and very sticky. 

Jordan laughed, looking at Alex’s face with one eye closed and covered in his come.

“Wow,” Jordan gasped.

Alex used his hands to wipe his face and eyes to reopen them and rubbed the come all over his chest. Jordan smiled and gently scooted down to bring his chest to Alex’s chest and fell forward, kissing Alex. The salty exchange that he tasted heightened the passion between the two.

Jordan's semi-hard dick protruded from his shorts. As he lay on top of Alex, their dicks made contact. 

Alex was overwhelmed by the sensation. It felt good to have Jordan's weight on top.

As Jordan started frotting, Alex's dick became even more stimulated. Jordan kissed him passionately and purposefully. He reached down and grabbed Alex’s dick in his left hand. He alternated between both of their dicks separately. Then, he grabbed both together and thrust his hips into Alex. Jordan was an artist, playing Alex’s body like a musician.

Alex had never felt so cared for, wanted, and vulnerable as he did now. 

Jordan worked his way down. He started licking and nibbling Alex's nipple. Jordan continued jacking off his dick. Alex moaned loudly. He wished he closed the bedroom window. But it didn't matter. Nothing would ruin this moment.

Jordan moved from one nipple to the other, and Alex bucked with the pure joy of the sensation. Jordan increased the speed of his masturbation. He then began using his tongue to lick Alex's abs. Alex almost reached orgasm again.

Every nerve ending felt alive—everything felt electric. Jordan went down further and sat up. He rubbed their dicks together. He held a firm grip on Alex's dick. He pumped up and down forcefully. Using his other hand, he grabbed Alex’s balls stretched them gently but firmly and began to pull on them. Alex's senses were overwhelmed with pure ecstasy, causing him to moan. His eyes rolled back into his head multiple times, expressing pure joy.

Jordan forcibly pulled on his balls, adding a bit of strength. It sent Alex over the edge, causing another series of spurts on his abdomen and leg. Jordan tugged harder on his balls. His body writhed in pleasure and agony. He was experiencing the best orgasm he had ever had. He continued to milk his dick until every ounce of fluid left Alex’s body. It was pure delight.

Jordan held onto Alex's dick, gently stroking it with blissful peace.

Alex began to squirm and said, “That tickles.” He went to move Jordan’s hand away.

Jordan grabbed Alex’s wrist abruptly to stop him from moving his hand.

Alex had a shocked expression on his face and Jordan said, “Just lay there, I’ll let you know when I’m done with you.”

Alex was mesmerized. No one had ever taken charge of his orgasm or body like Jordan was. Jordan kept stroking him. Alex writhed in beautiful agony, begging Jordan to stop. 

Jordan continued his stroking. "I love watching your muscles react to me. The way your face contorts to my touch, the way your body spasms. It's such a turn-on. Keep going for me.”

Alex sprawled across the mattress, held by Jordan, pleading for release.

After several minutes, finally, Jordan let go and gently stroked Alex's face.

Alex breathed so hard, panted, and felt so amazing and taken care of. Jordan fell forward and laid on top of his naked body. Alex was spent, delirious with orgasmic delight, and felt Jordan kissing him softly.

He lost track of time how long they stayed like that. He was lost in a peaceful world of his early morning orgasms. Their breathing was slow and synchronized.

With a gentle nudge, Shadow pushed his cone against Alex's side. The cold, hard plastic scratching against his skin surprised Alex awake. Alex’s sudden extreme movement nearly sent Jordan tumbling off the bed.

"Whoa, Jordan!" Alex exclaimed, his arms flailing out instinctively to catch him. Jordan's eyes opened wide, startled. Alex quickly steadied him.

"What... Shadow?" Jordan mumbled.

Shadow sat by the bed, oblivious to the chaos he caused. His tail thumped against the floor as he looked up at them with his big, soulful eyes. The sight of the dog, cone and all, was comical.

Alex burst into laughter, the moment's tension melting away into amusement.

"Good morning to you, too, Shadow," he chuckled, reaching out to pat Shadow's head. The dog leaned into the touch, his tail wagging even more vigorously.

Jordan joined in the laughter.

"You threw me two feet into the air, you ox," he said with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He reached over Alex to scratch behind Shadow's ears. The dog's eyes closed in contentment.

“You know how I hated the cone of shame before? I hate it even more now. Why don’t they put rubber bumpers on those things? Now my walls and side are scratched,” Alex said, laughing.

Jordan replied, "They do, but you need to buy the upgrades. The clinic only provides the economic model to its patients. You should visit the subject with Linda.”

Alex laughed, “Nope, not going to happen—I’ll buy the upgrade.” Alex knew the distinction between Aunt Lynn and Linda, the businesswoman.

"Looks like someone's eager to start the day. Doesn’t he realize it’s my day off?" Jordan said, still smiling. He stretched, his movements languid and relaxed.

Alex got out of bed with a bit more energy. With a voice still slightly rough from sleep, he said, "I'll make us breakfast."

“Sounds perfect.”.

“You look ridiculous in my clothes.” Alex laughed.

“They’re very comfortable, but I have some stains on them,” Jordan said with a devilish smirk. He took his shirt off and tossed it in the dirty clothes basket in the corner. 

Alex smiled teasingly. "You will never fuck me with that rocket launcher between your legs." 

Jordan laughed. “It's not that big. Trust me, you will be begging for it when it happens.”

Alex gasped, feigning surprise. “Not going to happen.”

“Mind if I shower?” Jordan asked as he gathered the clothes Alex had taken off of him last night.

“Go for it. I’ll have breakfast done soon,” he said, then put on his t-shirt and shorts. He walked out of the room to the kitchen. Shadow followed him.

Before he started breakfast, he heard Jordan yell, “Make sure you wash your hands!” Alex laughed to himself.

In the kitchen, Alex set about preparing breakfast. He moved around the kitchen with ease, gathering ingredients. He laid out eggs, bacon, fresh bread for toasting, and a ripe avocado on the counter. The sizzle of bacon soon filled the air, its rich, savory aroma wafting through the house.

Shadow, who followed Alex into the kitchen, sat near the stove. He was attentive, with his nose twitching from the smell of bacon. His tail wagged in anticipation. His eyes fixed on Alex with a pleading expression. Every time a strip of bacon flipped in the pan, his ears perked up, and he let out a soft, expectant whine.

Alex chuckled at Shadow's antics. “Okay, buddy, one piece for you,” he said affectionately. He took a piece of bacon, made sure it was cool enough, and offered it to Shadow. The dog took it from Alex's hand, his tail thumping against the floor in joyous gratitude.

Jordan walked into the kitchen as Alex was plating the breakfast. The enticing smell of bacon and eggs and the sight of Shadow munching on his treat greeted him.

“Seems like Shadow’s got his breakfast too,” Jordan said, laughing, as he sat at the table.

Alex brought the plates over, setting one in front of Jordan. Making eye contact, he said, “Hope you’re hungry.”

As they ate, Alex struck up conversation. "That was the hottest sex I have ever had. I’ve never had anyone get so dominant with me before. I’m usually the dominant one."

"Yeah, I kind of only have one switch,” Jordan said. “I’ve never been with a guy who is a top or is dominant. I’m not into extreme stuff, but I enjoy it rough.

"It was fucking hot!" Alex said, surprised at himself.

"Glad you had fun, I really enjoyed fucking your mouth. Wait until you get one of my blowjobs. You are going to be blown away."

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes at the pun. "Oh yeah, I can't wait. I’ll have to talk to Micah to set you up with a daily one p.m. appointment in exam room three with me..."

Jordan laughed. “Tell him he can make the appointment under the owner's name, Mr. Swallows, for his hound dog, Toot.”

They laughed together and continued their banter over the meal.

“This is amazing, thank you,” Jordan said when he’d nearly finished his food.

Alex smiled, a look of contentment on his face. “Anytime.”

Sharing a meal in his house like this, with Jordan and Shadow, made it more of a home.

Chapter 22

Jordan

The plates were almost empty, save for a few crumbs of toast. Shadow lay by their feet on the floor, a silent guardian in their shared space. The air was calm.

Jordan took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. As he got dressed, he reflected on last night. He looked at Alex with determination and tenderness.

"I've been thinking," Jordan began, his voice soft but firm. "About what happened last night... your PTSD episode. It was scary, but it made me realize something important."

Alex's eyes dimmed, a shadow passing over them. He put his fork down.

Jordan reached across the table, placing his hand over Alex's. "It made me feel stronger, more resilient. Not because I want to fix or change you but because I want to be there for you. I want to be part of your support system. It was a new feeling, something I didn’t know I had in me."

Alex's gaze met Jordan's.

Jordan continued speaking in a gentle, persistent voice. "I don't expect us to have all the answers. I don't expect you always to be strong. I want you to know that you're not alone. I want to support you while you work through this on your terms."

A silence fell between them.

"Jordan, I..." Alex started, his voice thick with emotion. "I can't tell you how much that means to me. Last night, I felt like a riptide had caught me, making it impossible to reach the shore. You being here after it happened feels like a lighthouse. The words you spoke to me last night will stay with me."

Jordan gave Alex's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I'll always be here to lip-read and stand by you. You aren’t alone, Alex."

Alex relaxed. "Jordan, I have always respected and valued strength. Since the ambush, my physical strength is all I can control. That’s why I work hard on my fitness. Since I have met you, it feels like you share your reservoir of strength with me and allow me to tap into it when I need it. I’m not taking it from you. You allow me access. Your strength, added to my own, allows me to knock down the barriers that have kept me from becoming stronger. It makes me feel more capable of facing the challenges ahead.”

They shared a moment of revelation and silence. They smiled at each other, and Jordan got up from the table.

Jordan gathered up the breakfast dishes. His movements were smooth and practiced. The dishes clinked softly as he did so. The morning sun shone warmly in the kitchen, creating a peaceful atmosphere.

"I'll take care of the dishes and clean up," Jordan offered. "Why don't you go ahead and take a shower?"

Alex nodded. He stood up from the table. As he walked past Jordan, their eyes connected in a silent moment. Leaning down, Alex captured Jordan's lips in a soft, emotion-filled kiss. Jordan responded kindly, his hands cradling Alex's face, deepening their kiss. As they parted, a smile played on Alex's lips.

"Would you like me to take you and Shadow to the pet store?" Jordan asked, his eyes bright. “Brenda and Lisa bought items you wanted to return. We can return those items and get a better cone. The one with a bumper guard."

Alex's face lit up with excitement. "Yes, that sounds great," he said. With a final affectionate glance, Alex headed to the bathroom for his shower.

As Alex showered, Jordan busied himself with clean-up. When Alex returned, he found Jordan wiping down the counter. He approached Jordan from behind and gently hugged him.

Jordan paused, turning around to look at Alex, a question in his eyes. Emotion overwhelmed Alex's face.

"Jordan, I... Last night and this morning, they meant so much to me. I can't stop thinking about it. About you."

Jordan could see the sincerity in Alex's eyes.

"This morning was incredible," Alex continued, his gaze locked with Jordan's. "Waking up next to you, having you get me off twice. I’m usually a shotgun, one and done.” Jordan laughed, and Alex continued, “Sharing breakfast, talking... It feels like a dream. A dream I never thought I could have. I stopped dreaming of this kind of moment years ago. You make me feel things that make me feel like the old me. Stuff that I never thought I would want again, I want now."

Jordan's heart swelled at the words, deeply touched by them. He stood on his tiptoes and touched Alex's cheeks, drawing him closer. "Alex, being with you, sharing these moments—it's more than I could have hoped for," he said.

Their eyes held each other's gaze, a world of emotion passing between them. They leaned in slowly, almost reverently. Their lips met in a gentle kiss filled with passion.

The kiss deepened. Their bodies drew closer as if trying to express through touch what words could only hint at.

As they separated, breathless and with shining eyes, Alex whispered, "Thank you, Jordan. For being here, for understanding, for everything."

Jordan smiled. "I'm here for you, Alex. No matter what tomorrow brings, I’m here for you."

Alex and Jordan gathered the extra dog supplies. The supplies had accumulated from Brenda and Lisa's shopping spree. They found more pet gear in each room. Several dog beds were in the living room—leashes and collars of various sizes hung by the back door. Shadow was not interested in a small pile of plush toys.

As they collected the items, Jordan glanced over at Alex.

"Do you have the receipt for these?" he asked, his voice echoing in the now clutter-free space.

Alex paused. "I hope so. Let me check," he said, heading toward the kitchen. He rummaged through a drawer, the sound of shuffled papers filling the room. After a moment, his face lit up. "Got it!"

With the items and receipt in hand, they made their way outside. Shadow followed them, sensing an adventure was imminent. He wagged his tail with enthusiasm. His injured paw was improving. As he walked, he was cautious and more confident.

When they reached the truck, Alex scooped Shadow up, cradling him in his arms. He placed him in the back seat. Shadow settled, eyes shining with excitement.

Alex and Jordan got into the front seats. Jordan started the truck, and the engine hummed to life.

As they drove, the opening chords of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" began playing on the radio. Jordan reached out and turned up the volume, a smile spreading across his face. As they pulled into the pet store's parking lot, the song's last notes lingered in the air. Jordan turned off the engine and they smiled at each other.

"Returning things to stores is something I don’t like. Brenda and Lisa gave me a lot to return. The employees are going to be angry with us,” Alex laughed. 

The pet store's automatic doors slid open with a soft whoosh. They entered a world full of pet-centric delights. Shadow laid in a shopping cart pushed by Jordan. Jordan looked around, and Shadow sniffed the different scents. Alex pushed another cart filled with excess pet supplies behind.

They moved through the aisles of the store. The store was lively with the sounds of content animals and their owners. Vibrant displays of toys, food, and accessories lined the walls. Each section had a colorful array of options for every kind of pet.

Chris, the store manager, greeted them when they reached customer service. Jordan and Chris recognized each other, their faces lighting up.

"Jordan, it's been a while!" Chris exclaimed, extending a hand.

"Yeah, it has.” Jordan introduced Alex, gesturing toward him.

"Nice to meet you," Alex said, smiling.

Chris's attention then turned to the cart. He chuckled as his eyes scanned the items. "Brenda and Lisa went shopping for you. They had fun that day. No worries, we can sort this out."

"Thanks, Chris,” Alex said, sounding relieved. “I'm sure we'll be spending a fair bit here."

"Of course! Are you looking for anything in particular today?” Chris asked. Alex told him they would like a better cone of shame with a bumper. Chris laughed and pointed them in the right direction.

They followed Chris's directions and ended up in an aisle dedicated to recovery and health aids. Among the various pet care items, there was a perfect cone. The cone had a bumper guard to make it more comfortable and less intrusive for Shadow and Alex's walls.

Jordan's eyes landed on a collection of plush toys as they continued to browse. He picked up a few, each squeaking as he squeezed them. Shadow, watching from his cart, wagged his tail in approval.

Meanwhile, Alex wandered toward the leash section. His eyes brightened when he found a leash emblazoned with the army logo.

"This is perfect," Alex said, a smile crossing his face as he added the leash to their cart.

With Shadow watching from his cart and their other cart now filled with new finds, they were on their way to the checkout.

Alex stopped near some GPS collars, his gaze fixed on the sleek devices.

"Look at these, Jordan," he said, "Considering Shadow's adventurous streak, one of these might not be a bad idea." After careful consideration, Jordan chose a reputable brand known for dependability and precision. To complement the device, Alex picked out a dark leather brown collar.

"Great find," Jordan said, smiling at Alex's decision. "This will give us a little extra peace of mind when Shadow's out and about."

The friendly cashier smiled as she rang up their items. She showed extra empathy because of Shadow’s injuries and offered him treats.

They engaged in light conversation during the drive home. Shadow sat in the backseat, cozy among his new treasures.

Soon, they arrived at Alex's house. Shadow, awake and energized from the outing, wagged his tail excitedly. Alex carried Shadow up the few steps to the porch, then lowered him gently to the ground. Once inside, the three of them went about their day in contented, domestic bliss.

Eventually, it was time for Jordan to head home. Alex reached out, pulling Jordan into a tender embrace. Their kiss was soft, yet full of emotion.

"Thank you for today," Alex whispered as they parted.

"Anytime," Jordan replied.

“Call me when you get home so I know you made it safe,” Alex requested.

Jordan rolled his eyes. “Yes, Auntie Alex.”

With one last smile, Jordan stepped out into the night.

The week was a whirlwind of moments and memories, bringing Jordan closer to Alex each day. Jordan looked forward to working together at the clinic every morning.

On Monday, when Alex took over the daycare, Jordan watched him from the doorway. Surrounded by a sea of fifty dogs, Alex was in his element, his face lit up with the biggest smile Jordan had ever seen.

On Tuesday, Jordan was in the breakroom with Lisa and Brenda. He drew attention to himself when Lisa mentioned having two new intakes for tomorrow—a Siamese cat named Bossy and a hound dog named Toot. He spilled his coffee on the counter. They asked what happened. He changed the subject. Then, he offered to do the intakes for her. He texted Alex, telling him to stop playing with the schedule.

In the mornings, they ran together. Jordan began to want to wear his hearing aids while they ran. They jogged through quiet beaches and trails, talking about everything and nothing. Their conversation flowed as quickly and as easily as their strides. Jordan really enjoyed listening to Alex. Alex's passion for history and his army stories were enjoyable to hear. He never shared about the ambush or the time after on their runs, but Jordan knew Alex would share if and when he felt comfortable.

Dinner had become another ritual. Spending time together was priceless. It could be a simple meal at home or a quiet dinner at a local restaurant—either way, Jordan savored the moments, the laughter and stories shared across the table.

Each night ended with more time exploring each other in the bedroom. Alex let Jordan have free reign of his body, and they had some amazing fun. Alex was so open to trying things outside what he usually preferred.

Jordan sat in the clinic, reflecting on the week. He watched Alex interact with a timid kitten, a new patient.

In these moments, Jordan realized how much Alex meant to him. They shared glances and laughter, quiet support, and bustling days at the clinic. The kissing had gotten better between them as well. Their kissing sessions had become the highlight of Jordan’s day in exam room three. As the week drew to a close, Jordan felt gratitude for how their lives had intertwined.

The next week, Jordan started to observed a transformation in Alex. Each day brought a new layer of confidence and a brighter happiness to Alex’s demeanor. The weekly sessions with Dr. Martin were making an impact. Jordan noticed that Alex frequently required solitude after these sessions. Jordan respected this silently, giving him his space.

Later that week, Dr. Emily, Rebecca, Alex, and Jordan all gathered with anticipation in exam room seven, with Shadow lying calmly on the examination table. Emily was examining Shadow’s wounds to see if they were healed enough that he could get his staples removed.

Shadow had been making remarkable progress. The once deep and jagged wound on his shoulder, where the glass had cut him, was now a clean line of healing skin. Emily had been meticulous in her care, and it showed. The area was healing nicely, without a hint of infection. Shadow’s paw, which had worried them the most, had also mended well. The swelling had gone down, and the redness had faded. His fur was slowly beginning to grow back in the areas where he had been shaved, a soft fuzz replacing the patches of bare skin.

As Alex held Shadow's head gently, murmuring soothing words, Shadow remained calm and trusting. His deep brown eyes, filled with loyalty and trust, gazed up at Alex, who felt a lump form in his throat. Alex was nervous and anxious, his mind racing with memories of the day Shadow had been injured. He didn't want his friend to feel any pain, even if it was just from removing staples.

Emily approached with a gentle touch and a reassuring smile. “You’ve done an amazing job with him, Alex,” she said softly. “He’s healing beautifully. We can remove the staples today.” Rebecca stood beside her, ready with the necessary tools, her presence steady and comforting.

Jordan placed a supportive hand on Alex’s shoulder, grounding him. The warmth and reassurance in that touch helped steady Alex’s nerves. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes of their bond and their journey together.

Emily began to remove the staples, her movements careful and precise. Shadow didn’t flinch; he trusted the hands that had cared for him so diligently. Alex whispered to Shadow, his voice filled with love and encouragement, “Good boy, Shadow. You’re so brave.”

Rebecca handed Emily the tools she needed with practiced ease, and their teamwork was seamless. Each staple came out without a hitch, a testament to the meticulous care Shadow had received.

As the last staple was removed, Alex felt a wave of relief wash over him. Shadow nuzzled his hand, sensing the change in his friend’s emotions. Alex couldn’t help but smile, tears of relief and gratitude welling up in his eyes. “You did it, buddy. You’re so strong,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Jordan squeezed Alex’s shoulder, his own eyes misty. “He’s a fighter, just like you,” he said, his voice filled with pride and love.

Emily, Jordan, and Rebecca stepped back, allowing Alex and Shadow a moment together. The room was filled with a profound sense of accomplishment and love.

As Alex stood there, still holding the brave German Shepherd, it was clear that Shadow was not just any dog. He had become a part of Alex. His healing journey mirrored Alex’s own, a path of resilience, love, and unwavering support. This moment was a highlight, a beacon of hope and progress for both of them, and it filled Jordan's heart with a deep sense of gratitude and connection as everyone was silent, watching this beautiful moment unfold.

Chapter 23

Alex

“That was fucking mind-blowing. Where did you learn to do that with your tongue?” Alex said, panting, leaning on a tree with his shorts around his ankles. Jordan rose, covered in Alex’s come from a very loud and heated orgasm moments ago.

“So I didn't oversell myself when I said you would like it?” He grabbed Alex’s shirt from the ground and wiped his face. 

In horror, Alex gasped. “Not my shirt! I have to wear that the rest of the day.” 

“Hey, it’s your fault,” Jordan said, laughing. “You could have aimed for the ground, but I saw that look that you wanted to mark your territory. I work with animals and date a neanderthal. I know your moves, sunshine. By the way, jiggling your dick over my head as you’re about to have an orgasm, saying 'get ready for your protein shake' isn’t as sexy as you think it is.”

Alex giggled, acting like a fourteen-year-old. He grabbed his soiled shirt from Jordan and put it back on. “You suck. We better stop at your place before we head to the clinic so I can change.” 

Alex grabbed Jordan by his shirt and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He tasted the saltiness from his ejaculation on his lips. He pulled Jordan in tighter and let him know he was his. 

The two of them were on the clinic property, taking Shadow out for a walk on a beautiful summer afternoon. They were on their lunch break, and Alex had made a small picnic lunch for them. The twenty acres that the clinic sat on were beautiful. It even had a small pond near Jordan’s cabin with lots of wildlife. They had set up a trail camera next to the pond this week to watch the wildlife come and go.

Separating from the kiss, Jordan said, “I told you it would be a good idea to keep some clothes at my place.”

As they made their way to Jordan’s place, Shadow limped beside them, his tail wagging. It had been five weeks since his injury. His injured paw slowed him down, but it didn't stop him from enjoying the outdoors.

After a quick change at Jordan's house, they returned to the clinic, Shadow in tow, his spirits high. Brenda and Lisa walked through the doors.

"Look who's got a fresh shirt on!" Brenda called out, her voice carrying across the reception area.

"Did the picnic get too wild, Alex?" Lisa chimed in, her grin wide and mischievous.

Taken aback by their sudden attention, Alex could only laugh. He tried to get on with his duties around the clinic. Brenda and Lisa followed him from room to room. They teased relentlessly.

"Did something happen on the picnic you want to tell us about?" Brenda peeked into the recovery room. Alex was checking on a sleeping labrador.

Lisa added, "Maybe he lost his other shirt."

“It's because he flexed to impress squirrels in the woods,” Brenda said.

Lisa could barely contain her laughter.

Alex played along, his responses equally witty. He gave them a grin and a flex. “I impressed the squirrels a lot.”

The next day, Alex sat on Jordan's porch, his mind reflecting on the phone call he just had with Brian’s widow, Amanda.

Jordan walked out onto the porch, the morning sunlight highlighting his compact physique wrapped in a towel. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of Alex sitting there with his tea, the steam curling up in the cool air. Jordan's hair was still damp from his shower, and he radiated an effortless grace that never failed to captivate Alex.

“How did the call go with Amanda?” Jordan asked, his voice gentle but curious.

Alex looked up from his tea, his eyes reflecting a mixture of emotions. “It was... it was good,” he began, taking a deep breath. His face was flush, and eyes puffy from crying earlier. “It was hard at first, but we both needed it. Brian’s death is still hitting us both pretty hard.  I thought she would be mad at me for not keeping in touch.  It was the exact opposite, she was more concerned about my well-being and how I was doing.”

Jordan sat down next to him, his presence a comforting anchor. Alex continued, his voice softening as he recounted the conversation. “We cried, both of us. It was like all the walls I had built up over the last two years came down. We talked about Brian’s goofiness and how he made us laugh even in the worst situations. We remembered his infectious laugh that could brighten the darkest day.”

A faint smile touched Alex’s lips as he recalled the memories. “We talked about how much he loved us, how he always made sure we knew that. She told me that Michael is having a hard time understanding why his dad isn’t coming back. It breaks my heart, but it was good to talk about it, to share those memories and keep Brian’s spirit alive.”

Jordan reached out, placing a supportive hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you for making that call,” he said sincerely. “I know it wasn’t easy, but it sounds like it was really important for both of you.”

Alex nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. “Yeah, Dr. Martin was right. I needed to do this. It helped, talking to Amanda, remembering the good times, and acknowledging the pain. We agreed to call each other once a week to check-in.”

Jordan squeezed his shoulder gently. “I’m sure Brian is proud of you. You’re honoring his memory by working through your trauma to be there for his family.”

Alex looked into Jordan’s eyes, finding comfort and love there. “Thank you, Jordan. For everything. For being here, for understanding.”

Alex glanced at his watch, noting the time. "I have to see Dr. Martin at ten a.m.," he said, a mix of anticipation and trepidation in his voice.

Jordan looked over, sensing the complex emotions behind Alex’s words. "How are you feeling about it?"

Alex took a sip of his tea, letting the warmth steady him. "Each session with him is a fucking challenge. It’s like I’m walking into a firefight every time we talk about my memories.  The fight or flight reflex that I have now hurts both emotionally and physically.  My flight is to isolate, my fight is to berate myself. Most days, its like I’m walking through a fog, but with every session, I feel a sense of release, like I’m shedding layers of pain and fear. I’m a fucked up onion"

Jordan nodded, his eyes filled with understanding. "It sounds intense, but it also sounds like progress."

"It is," Alex agreed. "Dr. Martin is like a bright light in that fog. He helps me navigate my emotions, making sense of the chaos. It’s a part of me that will always be there, but it doesn’t have to have power over me."

Jordan reached out, placing a hand on Alex’s knee. "I’m so proud of you, Alex. It takes a lot of strength to confront those memories and emotions."

Alex smiled, a mix of gratitude and determination in his eyes. "Thanks, Jordan. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Every session makes me feel a little lighter, a little more in control."

Jordan squeezed his knee gently. "You’re doing amazing, and I’m here for you, every step of the way."

Alex looked into Jordan’s eyes, feeling the depth of their connection. "I know you are, and it makes all the difference. Thank you for all you have done for me."

Jordan smiled warmly. "Hey, you have been there for me too, Mister. We make a great team. Now, go shower before your appointment. You smell like sweat and sex. I’ll go make up some oatmeal and eggs. How does that sound?"

Alex nodded, feeling a surge of hope and strength. "That sounds perfect."

As they headed inside to prepare for the day, Alex felt a renewed sense of purpose. With Jordan by his side and Dr. Martin’s guidance, he knew he could face whatever came next.

Alex unlaced his running shoes, as Jordan entered the house. His thoughts drifted to Jordan.

The past month felt like a journey from darkness to light.

He used to wake up each morning feeling dreadful. The weight of the world pressed down on him. His mind was a battlefield of anxiety and memories. But now, each morning brought a sense of anticipation, a flutter of excitement for the run with Jordan.

There was a lightness in his step, a feeling that the heavy chains of his past were slowly loosening. The nightmares that used to disturb his sleep were less frequent. Holding Jordan while they slept was calming.  Jordan was always cold and enjoyed being held while he slept.  Even though Alex couldn’t get him to sleep naked yet and least he started sleeping shirtless.  The skin to skin touch each night as they spooned helped his sleep patterns return to a somewhat normal cycle.

When a nightmare would emerge, Shadow was always present. The loyal German Shepherd had a sixth sense. He woke Alex up with a gentle nudge or a soft whine before the trauma could take hold. Shadow was his Guardian Angel. He brought Alex some much-needed peace and comfort.

Looking back, Alex realized how incredible the month had been. It was like he had awakened from a suffocating dream. The path ahead was still complex and uncertain, but it was a path he now walked with a lighter heart and a clearer mind. He genuinely felt excited about his future for the first time in a long time.

After his shower, he sat down to an amazing breakfast of bacon, eggs, hash browns, oatmeal, and fresh fruit. Fresh flowers from the front of the house were in a vase.  He looked at Jordan and smiled. 

“What’s all of this?” Alex sat down and started building his massive oval plate.

Jordan replied, “I made oatmeal and eggs. The other stuff was leftover from what you made yesterday, so I nuked it. I figured you could use a hearty meal this morning.”

Alex noticed Jordan was wearing his hearing aids a lot more lately.

At first, it was during their morning runs. Jordan wore his hearing aids and listened intently to everything. Then, Alex noticed him wearing them during their intimate moments.

Curious, Alex asked about it. "I've noticed you're wearing your hearing aids more," he said with a mouthful of bacon.

Jordan looked at him, with a smile touching his lips. "I'm trying to absorb every nuance when we're together, even the ones where you talk with your mouth full and act like a big goon" he said, his voice cheerful. "At first, it was casual, trying them out more. But with you, it's different. They become less of a hassle in my ear. You're a wonderful distraction apparently."

"Can I ask you about your hearing loss? I mean, what level of hearing loss do you have?" Alex's tone was gentle.

"Of course you can ask. Right now, I have about a fifty-decibel hearing loss," he replied.

Alex nodded, encouraging him to continue. He wanted to understand more, to know what Jordan's world was like.

"That means moderate hearing loss. It's like being in a constant state of hearing things at a lower volume," Jordan explained. “Everyday background sounds are non-existent when I don't wear my hearing aids. I hear someone speaking, but it’s like their voice is coming through a thick wall. I have a hard time making out what they're saying."

Alex grabbed a handful of strawberries and put them on his plate while Jordan gave Alex examples to paint a clearer picture. "Imagine a running faucet. That sound is simple to most, but for me, it's like hearing it from another room. It like listening while having cotton in your ears."

Alex listened intently, his eyes fixed on Jordan.

Jordan continued. "Without my hearing aids, the world isn't completely silent. It's quieter and less defined. But the volume gets turned up when I wear them, like now. I can hear the nuances in your voice, the crunch of your chewing, and the distant sounds of the birds in the yard. Everything is more vibrant, more alive when I wear them."

Alex processed what Jordan had shared. He had a better understanding of the obstacles and events that influenced Jordan's life.

After a moment, Alex said, "It's incredible how you navigate the world, with or without your hearing aids. You've adapted in ways I can't even imagine."

Jordan smiled. "Thanks, Alex. But it's my normal. And having someone like you who wants to understand, respects, and cares about it makes it much easier. The pain they cause because of the rawness in my ear canal is a constant challenge, but I’m trying new ointments and drops to make the pain less. Having you in my life makes me want to be less isolated and experience all of the sounds I can when you're around."

Alex replied as he put four strawberries in his mouth. “So I’m a real pain in the auricle huh?”

Jordan laughed. “That is the outer ear, and how do you even know that term?”

Alex smiled. “The word was on Shadow’s chart the other day, and I asked Rebecca what it meant.”

They both erupted in laughter.

Chapter 24

Jordan

They increasingly spent time together at Jordan's cabin, a beautiful three-bedroom haven on a sprawling property. The cabin was a perfect blend of rustic charm and modern comfort, its wooden walls and cozy fireplace creating a sense of seclusion and peace. Large windows framed views of the surrounding woods, each room bathed in natural light.

One evening, as they sat by the fireplace, the soft crackle of burning wood filling the room, Alex opened up about his friend, Brian Decker.

"The thing about Brian," Alex began, "was his incredible sense of humor. Even in the toughest times, he could make you laugh." Alex’s eyes were distant, lost in the memories. Jordan listened, his presence a silent support.

Alex continued, "He had this way of seeing the good in every situation. I guess that's what I miss the most. His optimism, his laughter." A small, sad smile played on his lips as he spoke.

Jordan reached out, his hand finding Alex's. "He sounds like he was an amazing person. Someone who brought a lot of light into your life."

Alex nodded, squeezing Jordan's hand. "He did. And talking about him with you, here in this place, it feels right. Like I’m keeping his memory alive in a way."

They sat there for a while, Alex sharing stories of Brian, the conversation a mix of laughter and tears.

As the night deepened and the fire dwindled to glowing embers, they retired to the cabin's master bedroom, the day's events settling around them like a soft blanket. The night was silent in the cabin—the only sound was the gentle breathing of Alex and Jordan as they lay in bed, quickly falling asleep.

Suddenly, Shadow leaped up on the bed as Alex bolted upright, his scream piercing the stillness of the night. It was a sound filled with raw terror. His body shook violently with a panic attack, his eyes wide and unseeing.

Jordan, startled awake by Alex's scream, was initially gripped by fear. But as he saw the depth of Alex's anguish, his fear was quickly replaced by a determination to help. He reached out, arms wrapping around Alex in a firm, comforting embrace.

"Alex, it's okay. You're safe," Jordan said, his voice calm, starkly contrasting to the moment's chaos. Shadow’s presence was powerful. He nuzzled Alex gently and moved around from his back to his side.

Alex was lost in the throes of the panic attack, his body trembling, tears streaming down his face. Jordan struggled to hold him, whispering words of comfort. "I'm here, Alex. You're not alone."

Slowly, the peak of the panic attack began to wane. Once erratic and shallow, Alex's breathing deepened, the shaking gradually subsiding. Jordan's unwavering support, the warmth of his embrace, and the comforting weight of Shadow by their side all anchored Alex back to the present.

As the terror receded, Alex's sobs turned into gentle crying. Jordan continued to hold him, a silent guardian in the dark.

"I've got you," Jordan murmured, his strength unyielding. He stroked Alex's hair.

In time, Alex's tears slowed, his body relaxing as the last remnants of the nightmare faded. Exhausted, he nestled into Jordan, the steadiness of his heartbeat a comforting rhythm in the quiet room. Shadow, still by their side, lay down, his body a protective presence. With Jordan's arms around him and Shadow's warmth at his side, Alex drifted back to sleep.

Jordan lay awake for a while, watching over Alex, his heart aching for the man he cared so much for.

The first light of dawn began seeping through the curtains when Alex awoke. Beside him, Jordan, sleeping lightly, woke up, immediately attentive to Alex’s movements. Shadow lay curled at their feet, a silent sentinel even in sleep.

Alex’s eyes met Jordan's, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Talking about Brian... I think it might have triggered the episode.”

Jordan reached out, gently cupping Alex's cheek. “Don’t apologize, it’s okay,” he said softly.

Alex’s gaze dropped. “I feel embarrassed... like I’m broken somehow.”

Jordan shook his head, his fingers tenderly lifting Alex's chin so their eyes met again. “You’re not broken, Alex. You’re healing from a trauma that would overwhelm anyone. Losing your best friend, your brothers in arms... it’s a lot to carry. Don’t ever apologize to me for this. This is all part of you processing the pain. And I want you to know I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

“You being here... it means everything to me,” Alex said, his voice steadier now.

Jordan smiled. “I’m here for you, Alex. We’re kind of in this thing together.”

They lay there in silence, wrapped in each other’s embrace, Shadow at their feet, as the new day began.

Over time, Jordan saw a noticeable shift in Alex. His visits to Dr. Martin seemed to have a transformative effect, each session leaving him lighter and more focused, a stark contrast to the withdrawn demeanor he used to exhibit. Jordan marveled at the change, attributing it to Dr. Martin's expertise, whom he now half-jokingly called a “miracle worker.”

The following Saturday morning was unfolding in its usual peaceful rhythm. Jordan clad only in shorts and his hearing aids, his hair tousled from sleep, walked into the kitchen, excited by the smell of the beautiful breakfast that Alex was preparing. He loved Saturdays, their day off from running and the clinic, where Alex made him an excellent breakfast. However, what he saw instead was a scene of adorable mischief.

With his front paws on the counter, Shadow, who was generally well-behaved, was in the midst of a stealthy operation. The plate of bacon, which had been left unattended, was now nearly empty, save for one last piece. Shadow's eyes were locked on Jordan, broad and almost comically guilty. He moved in slow motion, his snout inching towards the final piece of bacon as if he were a master thief trying to avoid detection.

Jordan couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

"Shadow, Alex isn’t going to be happy about this," he said in a light, teasing tone.

At the sound of Jordan's voice, Shadow seemed to realize the game was up. With one last longing glance at the bacon, he scampered off the counter and trotted over to his bed in the corner, curling up and trying to look innocent.

Shaking his head in amusement, Jordan stepped onto the porch where Alex enjoyed his morning tea. Alex looked up as Jordan approached, and his eyes immediately lit up.

"Well, hello there," he said with an appreciative smile, his gaze briefly lingering on Jordan's shirtless torso. "You look... great this morning."

Jordan's cheeks colored slightly at the compliment, but he quickly moved on to the reason for his visit.

"So, I have some news about your bacon," he began, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Alex's expression shifted from admiration to curiosity. "My bacon?"

Jordan nodded, trying to keep a straight face. "Shadow decided to help himself to the last of it. He was quite the stealthy little thief."

For a moment, Alex's face fell in exaggerated despair.

"My bacon? Shadow ate my bacon?" he whined, mimicking a child's lament. He leaned back in his chair, a theatrical hand over his heart. "Betrayed by my dog over bacon!"

Jordan laughed. "He seemed to think it was worth the risk. You should have seen him trying to be sneaky."

Alex joined in the laughter. "I guess I'll have to hide it in the microwave next time. Or maybe share it with the bacon bandit.” He shook his head with mock solemnity. “That was the last of it, so today we get eggs, oatmeal, and toast,” he said sadly. “My bacon.” He gave Jordan a booboo face. Jordan laughed.

Jordan, with a mischievous look in his eye, said, "I can help you forget about your bacon with some sausage."

Alex replied, "You did not just say that. Yes, of course, but you didn’t say that.”

The area of the property that the cabin was on was very private. You could hear cars driving up the gravel driveway almost a quarter mile away. Jordan had become bold lately with his nudity on the porch when Alex was around.

Jordan shed his shorts and underwear. He approached Alex, who was sitting in the stout chair that he claimed as his own. He climbed up onto Alex's lap and kissed him. He was gentle at first—then, as it became more passionate, it became sloppy and aggressive. Each of them waged war with their tongues with loud moans.

Jordan grabbed Alex's full black hair with his left hand and took control. Alex's moan was loud and rewarding. He reached under Alex's shirt and grabbed hold of his right nipple, and Jordan was rewarded by Alex's erection poking into his leg. They continued kissing, each kiss more passionate than the last. Alex's moans made Jordan wonder why he would ever remove hearing aids from his ears again. To miss out on the joys of Alex's sounds would be sinful.

Alex had been more submissive in the bedroom with each passing day. Jordan tied Alex down to the bed before with some neckties. Jordan licked every inch of Alex's body and edged him for almost two hours. Alex was so overwhelmed he wept. He had never experienced an edging session before. Later that night, he was on Amazon ordering restraints. He kept asking to try it again.

Now, Jordan let go of his nipple and rose up in the oversized chair, his impressive erection taunting Alex. Still holding onto Alex's hair, he held his head in place as he slapped his dick on each side of Alex's face. Both men never broke eye contact.

Jordan reached out with three fingers and entered Alex's mouth. Alex spread his lips and welcomed the intrusion. Jordan was skillful at getting his mouth ready for the onslaught that was about to occur. His fingers went deeper with each stroke, testing Alex's gag reflexes. Alex rewarded him by opening his mouth so wide that he invited a fourth finger in. Jordan accommodated and continued as Alex shed a single tear.

Jordan removed his fingers and put the head of his dick into Alex's waiting mouth. Jordan was more forceful with fucking his face since their first time. Alex learned to breathe and take everything that Jordan offered. The noise from the cabin could have scared away nearby wildlife.

Jordan's thrusts intensified. He realized Alex had become the perfect vessel for his needs and desires. After several minutes, sweat dripped off Jordan's brow as his grip on Alex's hair tightened. Still not breaking eye contact, he exploded down Alex's throat. His muscles and body spasmed in delight.

Alex swallowed every bit that Jordan had to offer him. He stayed in place as he recovered from the vicious attack on his mouth. His breathing returned to normal as he waited patiently. He had grown accustomed to letting Jordan take the lead and greatly enjoyed it, too.

Jordan felt his dick softening in Alex's throat. He enjoyed the sensation it gave him. Alex mentioned last night that it was one of his favorite parts of face fucking. They received their test results recently. Now, they were exclusive and wanted no barriers between them. Jordan was happy because condoms are uncomfortable for him.

Jordan pulled his softening dick out of Alex's mouth and slid to his knees back on top of Alex's lap. He was still holding onto Alex's hair. He kissed him passionately. Alex's moans were everything to Jordan.

"I taste pretty good,” Jordan said. “Thanks for putting the pineapple in my salad last night."

Alex laughs loudly. "You are most welcome. And I agree, you taste amazing. Damn Jordan, what the hell are you doing to me? I’m turning into such a slut for you."

"You’ve always been a slut. You just never had someone like me to show you how to do it right." Both men broke into laughter.

Alex stood up from the chair, his hard dick constrained by the underwear and shorts that he was wearing. Jordan was still in his arms, and he carried him inside the house like he weighed nothing.

Once inside, Alex headed for the bedroom and gently laid Jordan on the bed. He backed up and teased off his clothes for Jordan.

Alex reached into the nightstand drawer. He pulled out the leather restraints that he ordered. He looked into Jordan's eyes with a mischievous grin and asked, "Edge me?"

Jordan got up, took the restraints from Alex with a huge smile, and guided him to the bed.

Later, they exited the shower together, filling the morning air with laughter. They were starving, since they chose sex over breakfast earlier in the morning. It had been almost two hours, and it was time to get dressed and eat before the event that afternoon. It was shaping up to be a perfect day.

The day of Lisa's wedding had arrived, a much-anticipated event that had everyone at the clinic buzzing excitedly. The ceremony was held at the local Episcopal church, a grand structure with stained glass windows that cast colorful patterns on the pews. Lisa, radiant and classic like Audrey Hepburn, was the epitome of timeless beauty as she walked down the aisle. Her dark brown hair was elegantly styled in a chignon, with a few delicate tendrils framing her heart-shaped face. Her almond-shaped eyes, the color of rich mocha, sparkled with joy.

Her skin, smooth and luminous, seemed to glow with happiness. The bridal gown was a masterpiece of lace and silk, elegantly accentuating her slender figure and adding to her ethereal appearance. The dress's intricate lacework and flowing silk complemented her graceful poise, making her every step down the aisle look effortless and regal. With her luminous smile and radiant aura, she captured the hearts of all present.

Sean, her soon-to-be husband, waited at the altar, his eyes brimming with emotion. He was the picture of a rugged outdoorsman, with short, neatly trimmed hair and a well-groomed goatee that added to his rugged charm. His skin was tanned from years of outdoor adventures, and his physique was strong and athletic, built from the physical demands of his job as a paramedic and his love for hiking and climbing.

In his suit, Sean looked handsome but slightly out of place, fidgeting with the collar and sleeves as if they were trying to restrain his natural, rugged demeanor. His eyes, a piercing blue, were filled with admiration and love for Lisa. Despite his slight discomfort in the formal attire, his gaze never left her, filled with admiration and love for the woman who looked every bit like a vision from a dream. His hands, rough from years of hard work, trembled slightly, not from nerves but from the overwhelming emotion of the moment. As Lisa approached, Sean's fidgeting ceased, and he stood still, utterly captivated by his radiant bride.

The church was filled to the brim with over a hundred guests, including most of the clinic's staff. The air was thick with the scent of flowers and the soft murmur of excited whispers.

But the natural spectacle was yet to come –- the outdoor reception held on the clinic property. Lisa had insisted that everyone bring their pets, turning the event into a delightful mix of elegance and furry chaos.

Jordan had bought Shadow a tuxedo, and the dog looked unexpectedly dapper in it. The sight of Shadow in a tux, complete with a tiny bow tie, had everyone cooing and laughing. He seemed to understand the importance of the occasion, carrying himself with an air of canine sophistication.

As the reception unfolded under the canopy of twinkling lights, the scene was a tapestry of joy and celebration. Tables adorned with elegant floral arrangements were interspersed with dogs of all sizes, some donning their wedding attire, adding a whimsical charm to the festivities.

Alex and Jordan mingled among the guests, their smiles as wide as everyone else's. The atmosphere was infectious, celebrating Lisa and Sean's love and the community they had built around the clinic.

The highlight of the evening came when Shadow, in his tux, decided to join the dance floor. With surprising grace, even with his injured paw, he pranced around, his tail wagging to the rhythm of the music, drawing laughter and applause from the guests. Linda leaned over to Jordan and said, "I think Shadow might be the real star of this wedding."

Alex chuckled, his eyes following Shadow's happy antics. "He's stealing the show. We might have to sign him up for dance lessons after this."

As the night wore on, the air filled with music, laughter, and the occasional bark. Amid their first dance, Lisa and Sean looked like the perfect couple, their love shining as bright as the stars above.

The reception perfectly blended elegance and fun, reflecting Lisa's vibrant personality. It was a night to remember for Alex and Jordan, a celebration that encapsulated the joy, love, and community that defined their lives.

They drove back to the cabin after taking Linda home, with Shadow dozing in the back seat, still wearing remnants of his tux. Alex and Jordan shared a contented silence. Moments like these, filled with laughter, love, and some canine humor, made their journey together all the more special.

Chapter 25

Alex

Aunt Lynn called Alex and asked him to come over early Saturday morning. She needed help to weed in the backyard. After completing the yard work, they sat in the living room with Shadow resting at their feet. They took a break and drank some peach tea.

Alex heard a car pull into the driveway. He glanced out the window, his brow furrowing in confusion at seeing an unfamiliar car. The door opened. Jordan stepped out. His expression was a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation.

Two figures followed Jordan—Amanda Decker, Brian’s widow, and their young son, Michael. The sight of them struck Alex like a physical blow, a rush of emotions flooding him. He stood frozen, his heart pounding in his chest.

Aunt Lynn touched Alex’s arm, sensing the moment’s emotional gravity. “It’s okay, honey—Brian is here with us today, too. Go to them,” she murmured, her voice soft and encouraging.

As Alex stepped outside, the reality of the situation hit him. Amanda’s eyes met his, a world of shared grief and memories reflected in her gaze. They moved toward each other almost instinctively. Their embrace was a powerful expression of mutual loss and understanding.

Michael clutched a small toy. He looked on with wide eyes. Aunt Lynn, ever the nurturing presence, took his hand. “Hi, you must be Michael. I’m Alex’s aunt Lynn. Do you want to come inside for some peach tea?”

Michael grabbed her hand and said, “Can we go see Shadow? Mr. Jordan told us all about him on the drive over here.” Then she led him away to give Alex and Amanda some space.

Alex, still holding Amanda, turned to Jordan, his eyes brimming with tears. “How... how did you do this?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion.

Jordan stepped closer, his hand resting on Alex’s shoulder. “I wanted to give you this moment,” he said. “I know how much Brian meant to you, and I thought seeing Amanda and Michael might be good for all three of you.” Amanda reached out and hugged Jordan.

The conversation between Alex and Amanda was a mix of laughter and tears. It was a cathartic release of pent-up emotions. As the afternoon progressed, Aunt Lynn fired up the barbecue. They talked about Brian, sharing stories and memories. Each anecdote was a bittersweet reminder of his absence.

Their pain seemed to lessen as they spoke, if only for the moment. They forged a connection in the fire of shared tragedy.

Meanwhile, Aunt Lynn and Michael played with Shadow in the yard. Shadow’s playful energy brought smiles and laughter.

Aunt Lynn filled the day with warmth and a sense of family. She prepared a feast, filling the house with the delicious aromas of a home-cooked meal. As the day ended, they planned for Amanda and Michael to stay at Alex’s house. Alex would spend the night at Jordan’s.

As they prepared to leave, Alex found himself in the backseat of the car with Michael, with Amanda driving them. She followed Jordan in Alex’s truck. The soft hum of the engine and the gentle movement of the vehicle created a cocoon of quietness. It felt safe and intimate.

Sitting next to Alex in the backseat, Michael looked up at him with curious eyes.

“Can you tell me something about my dad?” he asked, his voice soft but filled with longing.

Alex’s heart clenched at the question, but he found a smile for Michael. “Your dad... he was an incredible person,” Alex began. “He was brave, one of the bravest men I’ve ever known. He saved my life once.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “He did?”

Alex nodded. “We were on a mission, and things got... messy. Your dad, he didn’t hesitate. He put himself in danger to get me to safety. He was a hero, Michael. Not just because of what he did that day, but because of who he was every day.”

The car was silent, the weight of Alex’s words hanging in the air. Then, with a sudden movement, Michael leaned over and hugged Alex tightly. His tiny arms held on as if he never wanted to let go.

“I miss my daddy,” he whispered, his voice muffled against Alex’s chest.

Alex wrapped his arms around Michael, holding the boy close. He felt Amanda’s gaze in the rearview mirror, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I miss him too, buddy, so much. He was my best friend, and I considered him a brother.”

Michael pulled back and said, “If he was like your brother, that makes you like my uncle, right?”

Alex’s voice cracked as Amanda remained silent. “That’s right, Michael. It would be an honor if you considered me your uncle. I’ll always be here for you and your mom.”

“Mom, do you hear Mr. Alex is my uncle? Can I call him Uncle Alex, Mom? Please?”

Amanda could hardly contain her tears as she followed Jordan on the dimly lit side street. “Of course you can, honey. Uncle Alex will always be a part of our family.” Amanda looked at Alex in the rearview mirror and he saw tears streaming down her face.

The moment’s emotion was palpable as they approached Alex’s house. Alex helped Michael out of the car, his eyes moist, fighting back tears. Amanda reached out to Alex, squeezing his hand in a silent thank you.

There was a shared sorrow and healing as they walked to the door. The stories of Brian, the memories shared, were not reminders of his loss, but of his love and heroism.

Before leaving, Alex did a full sweep of the house, accounting for all his firearms and ammunition. He placed them in his truck while Michael was with Jordan and Amanda. They said their goodbyes and agreed to meet the next day.

The drive back to Jordan’s cabin enveloped them in thoughtful silence. Only the soft hum of the truck and the occasional rustling of Shadow in the back seat broke the quiet. Alex’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions.

Once they arrived at the cabin, the place seemed familiar. Shadow bounded out of the car, even with his limp. As they entered the cabin, Alex turned to Jordan.

“Jordan, bringing Amanda and Michael here... I can’t thank you enough,” Alex said. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms tightly around Jordan.

Jordan returned the embrace, holding Alex close. “I got her number from your phone,” he admitted, a hint of hesitancy in his voice. “I hope you’re not mad about the snooping. We’ve been talking every day for the past week, planning this.”

Alex pulled back slightly, looking into Jordan’s eyes. Jordan’s honesty and care in his actions were evident. They made any thoughts of intrusion irrelevant. “Mad? I could never be mad about this. It was... it was perfect,” Alex replied.

Jordan smiled, relief clear in his expression. “Amanda thought it would be good for Michael to meet you. To connect with someone who knew Brian so well.”

The following morning, Alex awoke with excitement. Shadow picked up on Alex’s mood. He wagged his tail enthusiastically.

“Ready to head back?” Jordan asked as he watched Alex prepare for the day.

“Absolutely. I can’t wait to see them again.”

The drive back to Alex’s house starkly contrasted the previous evening’s quiet journey. Alex chatted animatedly. The prospect of spending more time with Amanda and Michael lifted his spirits.

They arrived at Alex’s house, and excitement filled the air. Amanda and Michael greeted them with bright smiles and eager anticipation. The plan for the day included a sightseeing tour of Brookings, which showcased the town’s landmarks and the stunning beauty of its beaches.

Jordan, taking on the role of driver and impromptu tour guide, led the group to his Jeep. Michael’s enthusiasm was contagious.

Their first stop was a cozy breakfast spot, a small diner that was a Brookings staple. Photographs of the town through the years adorned its walls. Michael’s chatter filled the air as they enjoyed their meal outside on the patio. He asked questions about his dad and wanted to know everything about him. Alex filled his mind with stories of heroism and practical jokes.

After breakfast, they headed to Brookings’ most scenic location—the beach. It was a picturesque scene that never failed to impress. They took a leisurely hike along the shore.

Michael stayed close to Alex. He clung to Alex. His small hand often found its way into Alex’s larger one.

They admired the natural beauty around them, making the hike relaxed. Jordan pointed out various landmarks along the coast. Amanda walked alongside them. She captured the moments with her camera as they explored.

The afternoon sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden hue over the beach. Shadow and Michael made their way to the water’s edge. They played in the sand and chased the waves as they lapped at the shore in the cove. Shadow’s barking, mingled with Michael’s laughter, was bright and joyful.

Alex, Jordan, and Amanda watched from a short distance, taking in the peaceful moment. They sat on a weathered picnic table near the shoreline.

Alex turned to Amanda. “Amanda, thank you for coming. It means a lot to me...” He trailed off.

Amanda nodded, a soft smile gracing her lips. “I’m glad we could make it. It’s been... healing in a way. A way that I didn’t expect.”

After a moment of comfortable silence, Amanda spoke again. “Alex, if you don’t mind me asking, how are you doing?”

Alex exhaled, his eyes tracing the horizon where the sea met the sky. “The last two years have been tough,” he admitted, taking in a steadying breath. “I’ve struggled a lot with survivor’s guilt over Brian and the others’ deaths. I felt like I should have been able to do more to save them.”

Amanda listened intently. “It’s a heavy burden to carry. From everything I know about that night, you saved your other two men. The army would never have given you the silver star if you didn’t earn it,” she said.

Jordan, looking surprised, said, “I didn’t know you received the Silver Star.”

Alex looked at Jordan and Amanda. “I don’t talk about it. It is a piece of metal with a ribbon telling me I failed.”

Amanda spoke up. “You didn’t fail, Alex. You lived. You saved your men. Your training saved you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Tears fell down Alex’s face. “Amanda, I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him.”

Amanda reached across, hugged him, and whispered, “I don’t blame you. I’ve never blamed you. Brian loved you. When you told me that his dying words were of me, that was your gift to me. Please come back to us, Alex. It wasn’t your fault.” She held him tightly as they both cried.

Jordan wiped the tears from his face and slipped off the bench quietly. He ran toward Michael and Shadow. He approached them and led them down the beach to play. Alex was grateful that he was giving them time to themselves.

They sat there for several minutes, watching Jordan play with Michael. Shadow limped but still acted like a puppy when Michael was near.

Amanda reached out, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “Jordan is a good man, Alex. He cares about you.”

Alex looked at the two of them playing in the waves. “He gives me strength. I haven’t known him long, but it feels like a lifetime.”

Amanda laughed. “Brian used to say the same thing about you. He told me once that within a week of knowing you, he found his gay soulmate. Remember that asshat you brought as a plus-one to our wedding?”

Alex put his face in his palms. “Oh God, yes. Mark. I forgot all about him.”

Amanda continued, “Brian wanted to punch him out. He embarrassed you by hooking up with that waiter and getting caught. He told me that no one messes with his family. I loved Brain for that. We both loved him for that. You will always be my family, ‘Uncle Alex.’ Start living again. Michael needs a role model, and you are my top choice.”

Alex hugged her so hard that she gasped. Her words meant more to him than she could ever have imagined.

“Thank you, Amanda. I have been so afraid to face you—to face him.”

Amanda held on to his arm and smiled. “We’re always here for you, Alex.”

Amanda’s expression softened further, a mix of sorrow and gratitude in her gaze. “It’s been hard for Michael and me, too. But seeing Michael smile so much this weekend has been amazing. It’s a gift, Alex. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

Alex felt a swell of emotions at her words. “Seeing Michael and you smile, Amanda... it’s worth everything.”

They had another wonderful dinner at Aunt Lynn’s house. She continued to amaze everyone with her incredible cooking skills. She made an excellent lasagna, followed by s’mores around her fire pit. Michael was covered in melted chocolate and graham cracker crumbs. Jordan pulled Shadow back while Amanda cleaned Michael off, and they all laughed together.

Jordan reprimanded Shadow. “Chocolate isn’t good for you.”

The evening ended with Alex carrying Michael into the house and placing him in bed. Amanda and Jordan watched him from the doorway. As Alex approached them, he saw tears streaming down Amanda’s face. The three of them hugged in the darkness.

They agreed to meet the following day at Pawsitive Vibes. 

As Amanda and Michael prepared to visit, anticipation filled Alex. When they arrived, the clinic was already buzzing with activity. Alex and Jordan led them on a tour.

Alex, Jordan, Amanda, and Michael were in the middle of their tour when they entered an examination room. An unexpected, slightly embarrassing incident occurred. As Alex bent down to pet a friendly golden retriever, he let out an unmistakable fart. A specific odor filled the small room.

Michael’s eyes widened in surprise. Then he burst into laughter, unable to contain his amusement.

“Whoa, Uncle Alex! That’s the smelliest fart ever!” he exclaimed between giggles.

The room erupted in laughter. Even Alex couldn’t help but join in. His initial embarrassment turned into amusement. The staff, trying to maintain professionalism, couldn’t help but chuckle. Seizing the moment, Michael began to christen Alex’s farts with comical names. He did so with the unabashed honesty of a child.

“Call that one ‘Thunderbolt’!” he suggested, laughter filling the room.

“Or how about ‘The Stink Tornado’?” Jordan chimed in, winking at Alex.

Amanda, laughing, added, “‘Eggzilla’ fits perfectly!”

Alex, now embracing the humor of the situation, played along. “I’ll have to be more careful around you, Michael. You’re the official fart-namer now,” he said with a grin.

Michael kept coming up with hilarious names for imaginary farts. Each name was more outrageous than the last. His creativity brought smiles to everyone’s faces. It turned an awkward moment into a day’s highlight.

As the morning wore on, the inevitable moment of departure drew near. The clock ticked closer to eleven a.m., and melancholy began to settle over the group.

Standing outside the clinic, the time for goodbyes had come. Michael, who had grown attached to Alex over the weekend, clung to him.

“Bye, Uncle Alex,” he said. His voice quivered.

Alex’s heart clenched at the words. He knelt at Michael’s height, wrapping him in a gentle embrace. “Goodbye, buddy. You take care of your mom, okay? And remember, I’m a phone call away.”

Amanda stepped forward, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She hugged Alex. “Thank you, Alex. This weekend... it’s meant everything to us.”

Alex looked over at Jordan, his eyes conveying a world of thanks. Jordan, in turn, nodded, his own emotions mirrored in his gaze.

“We’ll come visit you in Sacramento,” Jordan said. “It’s a promise.”

Amanda hugged Jordan next, whispering, “Please take care of him.”

As Amanda and Michael climbed into their car, Alex and Jordan stood side by side, watching them drive away. The clinic staff, who had come out to say their goodbyes, waved until the car was out of sight.

Alex turned to Jordan. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Jordan reached out, taking Alex’s hand in his. “Brian would be very proud of you, Alex.”

Chapter 26

Jordan

Exhausted from such a great weekend, Jordan and Alex lay side by side. They curled their bodies in a peaceful embrace. Their hands connected like puzzle pieces, as if the universe had destined them to fit together.

At that moment, as they lay together in the night's stillness, Jordan knew he had found his haven, his home. As Jordan drifted off to sleep, he felt peace and contentment wash over him. He knew he had discovered the precise place where he belonged.

Several hours later, a movement awakened Jordan in the darkness. He felt a gentle touch on his stomach, followed by a delicate kiss. A warm tongue traced a path around his belly button. Jordan’s body responded to the sensation. He could feel a hand softly caressing his balls through his shorts. The unexpected pleasure sent a shiver down his spine.

Jordan slept in a t-shirt, sweatpants, and socks, which drove Alex crazy because he always slept naked. Alex always wanted easy access to his body. The tenderness and gentleness of Alex’s touch was mesmerizing. Alex lowered his sweats and underwear. Then, he raised his shirt, exposing his naked skin to the refreshing night air.

Alex rubbed his chest and licked all over his abdomen. Jordan’s dick responded as he continued to massage his balls. Alex’s breath was hot, and his tongue was moist. Jordan laid back and relaxed for several minutes.

Alex moved his tongue to the base of Jordan’s erect dick. He was smooth, and Alex’s stubble added a layer of sensation that made Jordan moan. Alex licked up and down Jordan’s shaft slowly, methodically, and deliberately. Jordan always considered his talent for oral sex to be excellent. Alex was equally talented. He was tender and took his time.

Gradually, Alex engulfed him, and Jordan let out a moan. Alex moved down between Jordan’s legs and grabbed both of his hands. They intertwined their fingers and held each other. Alex expertly worked Jordan into a frenzy. Over the last few weeks, he had created mental map of Jordan’s body and what made him feel best. Tonight, he made Jordan writhe blissfully.

Time had lost all meaning, and to Jordan’s surprise, Alex flipped him over like a rag doll. Then, Alex pulled him into the doggy-style position. He intertwined their fingers again and buried his face in Jordan’s pink, tender hole. His tongue expertly navigated the outline. The sensation was unfamiliar to Jordan, but pleasurable, nonetheless. He became unglued and quivered at Alex’s touch.

His entire body felt alive. His dick was the hardest it had ever been. Jordan began to spasm as Alex playfully guided his tongue between his hole and his scrotum. Alex let go of Jordan’s hands. He spread Jordan’s ass cheeks fully and thoroughly. He buried his tongue even deeper into Jordan. Jordan moaned in overwhelming pleasure into the night.

Jordan had never felt that level of bliss with someone before. Alex was giving every part of him to Jordan.

Alex moistened Jordan with his saliva and let go of Jordan’s cheeks. He propped up on his elbows. His tongue penetrated Jordan’s hole expertly, and he grabbed Jordan’s hard dick. He continued his onslaught into Jordan and began jerking his dick slowly. Jordan believed he was having an out-of-body experience. He visualized himself floating above the bed, watching himself writhe in beautiful bliss. Moaning, he buried his face in the sheets. He was sweaty and helpless. Alex had effectively taken control of Jordan’s body, his heart, and his soul.

After a time, Jordan was so hopelessly lost that he bucked under Alex, driving his tongue deeper into his hole as Alex’s grip tightened on his cock. Alex’s skillful hands expertly increased and decreased his speed as he jerked him.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jordan was close, so close. He cried out in pure enjoyment and satisfaction. Alex lowered his tongue to his balls. And that was all that Jordan could handle. Thick streams of come shot out of Jordan, his body spasming. He screamed and grunted in euphoria, and his body felt like it had reached a new level of awareness.

As Jordan recovered, Alex was tender. He nuzzled his listless body. His muscular hands offered a gentle massage. He softly kissed Jordan’s legs and back. Reaching down, he pulled up Jordan's underwear, followed by his sweats. He pulled his shirt down and easily repositioned him on the left side of the bed. He pulled the covers over them and curled Jordan up into the little spoon position. Jordan was exhausted, exhilarated, and spent. They cuddled, both drifting off into cosmic bliss.

The morning light filtered softly through the curtains. Jordan stirred awake. Alex’s erection poked Jordan gently as he held him. Jordan was still in awe of what they shared a few hours ago in the darkness.

Jordan rolled over and looked at Alex’s peaceful sleeping form. Alex’s calm appearance left him dumbfounded. His stubble accentuated his incredible chin dimple Jordan loved so much.

He reached up and began stroking Alex’s cheek. Alex stirred and opened his eyes.

“Good Morning, Sunshine,” Jordan said. Alex smiled.

“Good Morning,” Alex responded, and he kissed Jordan tenderly.

“Wow,” Jordan said. “That was a first for me. I’ve never had anyone rim me like that before. You were incredible.”

“Oh yeah, you liked my little surprise? I love how relaxed you were. I enjoyed myself a lot.” He sat up and crossed his legs in the bed, facing Jordan. “I know you have a big day today with your quarterly business review. I wanted to give you something special to think about while you sit in boring meetings all day.”

“Not sure if everyone will enjoy seeing my erection throughout the day.”

Alex laughed. “Don’t do that in front of Aunt Lynn. She calls you out. I learned that as a teenager.”

Jordan laughed. “What? Oh my God, no, she didn’t.”

Alex smiled. “Yep, the worst Thanksgiving ever!”

Alex got out of bed and raced for the bathroom. Moving slower, Jordan followed him and waited for him to finish. After Alex washed his hands, he said, “I’m going to let Shadow out and make you some oatmeal. Wear the blue suit that you wore at the wedding. Your ass looks fantastic in that thing. It might get you some extra funding for the clinic.”

Jordan laughed and kissed him as he washed his hands.

Alex catcalled and whistled as Jordan came to the kitchen wearing the blue suit he had recommended. Shadow jumped up and ran to Alex. Alex said, “Sorry boy, I was whistling at the other man in my life.” He looked at Jordan. “Are you all set for today?”

“Yeah. It starts with Linda at the Pacific Edge offices. We’ll be going over the strategy for the next two quarters.” He paused, his hands deftly tying his tie. “Linda’s always been good to me, you know? She tries to make these meetings easy, but they’re far from what I’m used to.”

Alex smiled softly. “But you’re a part-owner of the clinic, right? You have to be in on these meetings?”

“No, I don’t own a percentage because it’s a nonprofit,” Jordan confirmed. “My deal includes the house and the half acre of land. It also includes a company car and a salary package. They were very excited to get me to move here to help establish the clinic for the community. It was more than generous. If I ever leave the clinic, the contract requires them to buy the house and land back to them at fair market value. But I never plan on quitting—I love it here.”

He sat down and ate his oatmeal. “Linda flew out to Dallas many times to convince me. Did I ever tell you that? She and my mom are friends. That’s how I got on her radar.”

Alex listened intently. “And then she approached you after you won the AVMA award?”

Jordan chuckled. “Yeah, that award put me on the map, I guess. Linda had this vision for the clinic and thought I’d be the perfect fit. She promised me they would handle the business and legal sides. I have to give my input, which still feels like a lot sometimes. You know, the clinic is only possible with that endowment. It’s from an anonymous donor. One of the Pacific Edge clients won a massive lawsuit and wanted to do something good for the community. Pacific Edge got involved and appointed Linda to head the department.”

“It’s incredible, Jordan,” Alex said. “You’re doing something amazing here, even if the business side isn’t your favorite.”

Jordan gave a rueful smile, turning to face Alex. “Thanks. I keep thinking about how far I’ve come since opening Pawsitive Vibes. It’s been an incredible journey, and having you here now makes it even better.”

Finishing his oatmeal, he glanced at his watch. Realizing he needed to leave, he got up and kissed Alex. “Thank you for breakfast and again for the morning orgasm. Linda usually takes me to happy hour after the harrowing day she puts me through, so I’ll be home afterward. Miss me on your run, and have fun with Lisa and Sean today.”

Alex hugged him. “You got this! I’m so proud of you. The run will not be the same without you there.”

As Jordan toward the door, Alex added, “Your ass is amazing in that suit.”

Jordan smiled, his heart lighter with Alex’s support. “I’ll see you tonight. It’ll be a long day, but knowing I’m returning to you makes it all worthwhile.”

With that, Jordan stepped out, ready to tackle the day’s challenges. He carried a sense of purpose and support from his partnership with Alex.

Jordan arrived at the offices of Pacific Edge Legal Group early. He walked to Linda’s office. He knocked on the door and entered her office. It had fantastic coastal views. She stood as he entered. In her early fifties, Linda was the linchpin of Pacific Edge Legal Group. She was a familiar, reassuring presence.

“Good morning, Jordan,” Linda said. “Ready for a busy day?”

Jordan nodded, steeling himself for the day ahead. The first meeting was with Linda herself. They settled into a conference room surrounded by legal documents and business plans. Linda guided Jordan through the strategic plans for the next two quarters. Her expertise was clear. She used her organizational skills to make the complex information more digestible.

Next was a meeting with Kevin Brooks, the Operations Manager. Kevin, in his mid-thirties, had a calm and approachable demeanor. They discussed staffing, facility maintenance, and daily operations.

After a brief break, Jordan met with Sarah Nguyen, the Financial Manager. In her late thirties, Sarah had a keen eye for detail. They reviewed budgets, financial projections, and expenditures.

In the afternoon, he met with Dana Mitchell. Dana was the fundraising and community outreach coordinator. Dana discussed upcoming fundraising events and community programs with her vibrant energy.

Following Dana, there was a session with Dr. Luana Chen. She was the Veterinary Services Coordinator. They discussed medical supplies, equipment purchases, future technologies, and compliance with veterinary standards. After finishing with Dr. Chen, he met with Alex Turner. Alex was the Marketing and Social Media Specialist.

Jordan met with Jenna Martin, the Volunteer Coordinator, for another meeting. She outlined the training schedules and volunteer use plans. The last meeting of the day was with Ryan Parrello, the Legal Advisor. Ryan's insights into non-profit operations reassured Jordan.

After the marathon of meetings, Linda and Jordan went to a cozy local restaurant—a tradition they had established as a reward. It was the perfect place to relax and reflect.

They settled into a corner table. The clink of glasses and the low hum of conversations created a comfortable backdrop.

Linda talked as their drinks arrived. “How are you adjusting to having Alex around so much? All the time I have known you, you’ve been the lone wolf who always wanted his privacy.”

Jordan took a sip of his drink, a momentary pause to gather his thoughts. “Alex, being around has been amazing. Learning to cohabitate has been a bit of a challenge. Not that I mind at all, but does the man ever keep his clothes on?”

Linda laughed. “He has always been one to run in the door and drop a trail of clothes through the house. The boy had no modesty growing up.”

“Right?!” Jordan exclaims. “In less than twenty seconds, he hits the porch, either naked or in his underwear. He also doesn’t know what a laundry basket is.”

Linda almost spews her margarita from laughter. “Don’t let him wash your clothes either, Jordan. He will throw your towels, dress shirts, whites, and his smelly gym shoes all in one load in the washer.”

“I found out the hard way last week,” Jordan said. “I had to create some boundaries now that we’re spending so much time in the cabin.”

With concern in her voice, Linda asked, “What about nightmares?”

“He has had a few, nothing major. Shadow has been by his side and wakes him up when he has them. When it happens, he gets shaken, but he’s recovering faster each time. He and Shadow have become inseparable. He’s been seeing Dr. Martin, and I’ve seen a real shift in him. He’s... he’s healing, Linda.”

“And how about you, Jordan? How has this journey been for you?”

Jordan leaned back, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “It’s been transformative, to be honest. Being with Alex and supporting him through this has strengthened me, too. I’ve found strength not for him but for myself. I have never felt so confident or empowered with my life.”

He paused. “You know about my hearing loss and how it’s always been something I’ve struggled with. Being with Alex and helping him has made me less angry about it. He’s becoming an anchor for me. In the past, I liked the silence—I was content there. I want to hear the entire world today because Alex is in it.”

Linda smiled. “Jordan, that’s wonderful to hear. It sounds like you and Alex bring out the best in each other. You help each other grow.”

Jordan nodded, contentment settling over him. “We do. He’s been incredible, Linda. I never thought I’d find someone who understands me like he does. It’s like we help each other become the men we have always wanted to be.”

Linda raised her glass in a toast. “To growth, healing, and finding someone who complements you in every way.”

Jordan clinked his glass against hers, a smile on his face. “To all that,” he agreed.

Linda touched Jordan’s shoulder as they finished their drinks and prepared to leave. “I’m proud of you, Jordan. Proud of what you’ve built at the clinic and proud of the man you’ve become.”

Jordan felt a surge of gratitude for Linda. He appreciated her support and understanding. Not as a business associate, but as a friend. “Thanks, Linda. That means a lot.”

A few moments later, Jordan’s phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Alex calling.

“Hey Alex, we’re finishing up, and I’m heading home with the order of wings that I promised you.” Jordan smiled, switching to speakerphone so Linda could hear.

They waited for Alex’s calm voice to come through the speaker. Instead, it was a voice tinged with panic and distress, punctuated by sobs.

“Jordan, I... I lost Shadow,” Alex cried out, his voice breaking. “I can’t find him anywhere. I lost him—it’s my fault!”

Linda’s expression turned to one of concern, mirroring the alarm in Jordan’s eyes. They listened as Alex’s sobs filled the airwaves, his words a jumble of hysteria and guilt.

Jordan tried to interject to provide some comfort, but Alex’s distress was overwhelming.

“Alex, calm down. We’re here for you. Tell us what happened,” Jordan urged.

There was rustling on the phone, and another voice took over the call. It was Lisa. Jordan’s heart raced.

“Jordan, it’s Lisa. Sean’s here, and he’s with Alex,” Lisa’s voice came through. “After work, we went on a hike. A bear showed up, and it got aggressive. Alex and Shadow tried to scare it away... but Shadow ran off after the bear into the woods. We’ve been searching for over an hour now. There’s no sign of him.”

Jordan felt an icy wave of fear wash over him. “Is Alex okay?”

“He’s blaming himself, Jordan. He's in a state of shock, keeps saying it’s his fault. Sean’s keeping him as calm as possible. Sean’s a paramedic and a veteran—he knows how to handle these situations.”

Jordan glanced at Linda. Their mutual decision was made in an instant. “We’re on our way. Send us your location.”

He ended the call, his movements swift as he and Linda gathered their things. Alex’s crying in the call’s background echoed in his mind.

They rushed out of the restaurant. As Jordan drove, his thoughts were with Alex and Shadow. The drive felt endless. Each minute dragged on as they navigated the roads to Lisa’s location.

Linda reached over, placing a reassuring hand on Jordan’s arm. “Alex will be okay, Jordan. We’ll work together to find Shadow.”

Jordan nodded. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. “He’s going through so much... I want to be there for him,” he said.

They arrived at the location Lisa had sent forty minutes later. Jordan’s heart ached at the sight of Alex. He was sobbing. His clothes were askew, and blood was all over his shorts. Sean’s steady presence was a slight comfort amid the chaos.

Jordan rushed to Alex’s side, enveloping him in a tight embrace. “I’m here, Alex. We’re going to find Shadow, I promise.”

Chapter 27

Alex

A palpable tension hung as Jordan and Aunt Lynn arrived at the trailhead parking area. 

Alex listened as Lisa recounted the terrifying incident to them. Her voice was steady, but her eyes reflected the fear they had all experienced.

"We were hiking, enjoying the day. Then, out of nowhere, this black bear appeared with her cubs," Lisa explained. Her gaze flicked toward Alex. "She charged toward me, and Alex... he didn't hesitate. He made himself as big as possible, trying to scare her away."

Alex, sitting on a nearby rock, looked up as Jordan approached. "I had to do something, Jordan. I couldn't let her hurt Lisa," he said, his voice shaky.

Lisa continued. "Shadow was right there with Alex. When the bear kept charging, Shadow lunged at it. They were both so brave, Jordan. They saved me."

Jordan knelt beside Alex, taking in the sight of his injury. Alex's left hip had bruising. His pants tore, revealing bandaged lacerations through the fabric. Sean, who was tending to the wound, looked up at Jordan.

"He'll need stitches for these, and he's going to be very sore in the morning," Sean said.

Alex’s breathing was erratic. He felt his anxiety levels escalating as the shock began to wear off.

"The bear... and Shadow... they disappeared into the woods. I couldn't stop him," Alex's voice broke, the guilt and worry overwhelming him.

Jordan wrapped an arm around Alex, pulling him close. "You did everything you could, Alex."

Alex leaned into Jordan, his body trembling. "But Shadow... I lost him, Jordan. It's my fault," he whispered, tears streaming down his face.

Jordan held him tighter, offering silent comfort. Alex saw Aunt Lynn and Lisa exchange worried glances.

"We'll find Shadow, Alex. We’ll search the entire area and get everyone we can to help. He’s strong, and he’s smart. We’ll find him," Jordan reassured him.

Lisa nodded in agreement. "We're all here for you, Alex. And for Shadow. We won't give up. We still have about three hours of daylight left, and Brenda is on the way with some others from the clinic."

The mood was somber as they prepared to organize a search party. Alex was grateful that Jordan and Aunt Lynn stayed close.

Sean gave Jordan and Aunt Lynn a measured look. He peeled back the bandages covering Alex's hip to reveal the extent of the wounds. Alex's gaze fixed on their reactions, and he braced himself for their response. His left hip endured the bear's swipe, and he had deep gouges in his side to show for it.

“Alex has sustained significant trauma here,” Sean explained. “The bruising is extensive.”

He paused. "There are also several lacerations of varying lengths and depths. The most concerning one is about four inches long, here.” Sean pointed to the largest gash on Alex’s side, which was still bleeding steadily.

He turned his attention to Alex. “We've done well to keep it clean so far. But these wounds need immediate professional attention. To prevent infection, they need stitches, and cleaning is necessary."

Alex's face contorted with each movement. Despite his efforts to remain composed, the burning and stinging sensations were overwhelming.

Sean reiterated the need for urgent care. "I understand your concern for Shadow, Alex, but we have to prioritize your health right now. You've sustained serious injuries, and the risk of infection is high. We need to get you to the ER immediately."

Alex's wanted to resist, his worry for Shadow making him hesitant to leave. 

Jordan and the others exchanged worried looks. Aunt Lynn stepped forward. She placed her hands on Alex's shoulders.

"Alex, you can barely walk," she said, her voice calm but insistent. "You need medical care. We can't risk your injury getting worse."

Alex shook his head, tears brimming in his eyes. "But Shadow... I have to find him. I can't leave him out there alone," he pleaded.

Aunt Lynn held his gaze. "Listen to me, Alex. You need to trust in your friends to find Shadow. Jordan and I will go with you to the emergency room, and Lisa and Sean will stay here to organize the search. We're all here for you and Shadow. Deal?" 

There was a pause as Alex's stubbornness battled with Aunt Lynn's unwavering resolve. He looked up at Lisa and Sean with a pleading look in his tear-filled eyes. They both held hands and nodded.

“Alex, you and Shadow are our family,” Lisa said. “Family sticks together. We’re all going to look for Shadow. You go get fixed so you can be there for Shadow when we find him.”

Finally, with a heavy sigh, Alex nodded. His shoulders slumped in defeat, but he trusted his friends.

"Okay... deal," he murmured to his aunt, the fight draining out of him as he leaned into Aunt Lynn for support.

Jordan stepped up, wrapping an arm around Alex to help steady him. With Sean’s help and Aunt Lynn's guiding presence, they made their way to the Jeep. Aunt Lynn took the driver's seat while Sean helped Alex and Jordan settle in the back seat.

Sean gently assisted Alex into the back seat of the Jeep. Alex settled into the seat with a grimace. He tried to find a position that minimized his discomfort.

As Sean secured the seatbelt around Alex, he spoke in a calm, reassuring tone. “I've notified Oregon Game and Wildlife about the incident. I've also notified the Forest Service. They're on their way to the scene now. They'll want to talk to you about the bear attack, get your account of what happened. It's standard procedure in these situations."

He walked around to the driver’s side, and continued. "They'll need to assess the situation and understand the bear's behavior. It's important for them to determine if it's a threat to public safety or if it was an isolated incident. They take these encounters seriously and will do a thorough investigation.”

Lisa leaned in and hugged Alex. "Alex, you were amazing out there. Thank you. Don't worry about a thing here—Sean and I have got it covered. Now go to the ER and get patched up." She flashed a mischievous smile. "With some luck, you might get Dr. Dan to look after you. Trust me, he's quite the eye candy.""

Both Sean and Jordan shot Lisa playful, disapproving looks. "Really? Lisa." Sean chided lightly, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Lisa shrugged, unfazed, her grin widening. "What? It's true!" she retorted, her eyes twinkling with humor as she winked at Alex. 

She stepped back, closing the door gently before the Jeep pulled away. Despite the tension, Alex and Jordan smiled at Lisa's light-hearted comment.

As they drove to the emergency room, Alex's emotions overwhelmed him. Tears streamed down his face, his body trembling with a mix of pain and anxiety. Jordan held him close and whispered words of comfort.

Aunt Lynn drove with a steady hand. Her eyes occasionally met Alex's in the rearview mirror. There was a silent promise in her gaze that they would do everything possible to find Shadow and bring him home.

As they reached the emergency room, the reality of the situation settled in. Still teary-eyed and grappling with his emotions, Alex got out of the car with Jordan’s help. Aunt Lynn and Jordan were at his side as they entered the ER.

The staff recognized Jordan as they ushered Alex into the emergency room. Many of them were familiar faces, clients of Pawsitive Vibes who had brought their pets to Jordan for care.

Nurses greeted Alex with gentle words and sympathetic smiles. They led him to the treatment area. Despite the usual protocols, they allowed Aunt Lynn and Jordan to stay with him.

The doctor entered the exam room with an air of confidence that immediately commanded attention. His presence was striking, almost cinematic, as if he had stepped straight out of a classic Hollywood movie. Tall and well-built, he moved with the grace of someone completely at ease in their skin. His chiseled features were reminiscent of golden-era film stars—high cheekbones, a strong jawline, and piercing blue eyes that seemed to see right through to a person's soul.

"Hi, Alex. I'm Dr. McDaniel. We're going to take good care of you," he said, offering a reassuring smile as he began assessing his injury. 

Alex looked at Jordan, thinking of Lisa's comments. Jordan rolled his eyes. The humor of the moment brought Alex back into focus, with the effects of the shock wearing off.

He lay on the treatment bed. He remained calm despite the whirlwind of emotions inside him. Jordan and Aunt Lynn stood nearby, their presence a steady comfort.

"We'll need to get X-rays to check for fractures," Dr. McDaniel explained. He gently examined the bruised and lacerated area on his hip. "You're in good hands, Alex."

The journey to the X-ray room was a blur of corridors and medical equipment. Alex stayed focused on the here and now, pushing thoughts of 'what ifs' about Shadow to the back of his mind.

The X-ray technician was another familiar face. This technician was a client that Alex had helped when he brought his chocolate lab in to get a splinter removed. Alex kept his son occupied in the exam room while Emily removed the object and cleaned the infected wound.

"Hey, Alex. We'll get these images quickly. Hang in there," he said with a friendly nod.

While waiting back in the treatment area, Dr. McDaniel returned with the results. "Good news, Alex. No fractures or broken bones. We need to suture up and clean those lacerations, though."

As the doctor prepared for the procedure, Alex felt anxious. Jordan squeezed his hand, offering silent support.

The sensation of the local anesthetic was a strange mix of pressure and numbness. Despite himself, Alex watched, fascinated. Dr. McDaniel skillfully sutured the wounds after the nurse had cleaned them. His hands were steady and strong, the stitches neat.

"You're doing great, Alex," Dr. McDaniel said, his voice soothing. "A few more stitches, and you'll be all set."

As Dr. McDaniel finished the last suture, he looked up at him with a smile. “All done. The wounds cleaned up nicely; they look worse than they really are. You were fortunate, Alex. We'll get you bandaged up.”

Alex let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, relief washing over him. The physical pain was manageable now. His thoughts immediately returned to Shadow, and the worry and guilt resurfaced.

Dr. McDaniel finished bandaging Alex's wounds. He pulled up a chair beside the bed.

"Alex, you've had an encounter with a wild animal. We need to take a few extra medical precautions," he said. "Even though it is extremely rare, I recommend a rabies prophylaxis regimen. It's unlikely the bear was rabid, but we don't take any chances with potential rabies exposure. Even though you think most of the scratches were from his claws, we cannot rule out that the scrapes on your arms didn’t happen from his bite."

Alex listened intently, his brows furrowing in concern. The mention of rabies sent a chill down his spine, though he tried to remain calm.

"Rabies is a serious virus, and it's almost always fatal once symptoms appear," Dr. McDaniel continued. “However, starting the prophylaxis immediately after exposure is extremely effective. It prevents the virus from developing."

He paused, allowing the information to sink in. "The regimen involves a series of injections. If you wish to proceed, you'll receive a series of rabies vaccines spread out over the next few weeks."

Alex nodded, absorbing the information. The thought of multiple injections wasn’t pleasant, but he understood the necessity.

“Okay, Doc, I think you’re right, and just to be safe, let’s do it.” Alex sighed

"Given the nature of your wounds, I'm going to administer a tetanus shot, too. It's a standard procedure for any puncture wounds or lacerations. Especially when an animal causes them," he explained.

Alex felt a slight twinge at the sight of his recent sutures.

“I'll also prescribe antibiotics to prevent bacterial infections from developing in your wounds. It's important to complete the full course of antibiotics," he added. "Even if the wounds look better." His gaze met Alex's to emphasize the importance.

The nurse entered the room with the rabies injection. Alex steeled himself for the first of many shots. A brief, sharp prick followed the cold sensation of the antiseptic wipe.

“There,” Dr. McDaniel said, disposing of the needle in a sharps container. "We'll schedule your next rabies vaccine before you leave today. Just come back into the emergency room, and I’ll administer them. I know you’re a veteran, and the VA normally handles your care, but it would be easiest to come back and see me for the rest of your care. And here's your prescription for antibiotics. Follow the instructions closely."

"Thank you, Dr. McDaniel," Alex said, with a genuine note of gratitude. "I appreciate you explaining everything so clearly."

It had been about two hours since they arrived at the hospital.

"Lisa said twenty-two people showed up from the clinic,” Jordan said. “Staff, volunteers, and family members who love Shadow were there looking. Sean got some members of his firehouse to come up as well. They have about an hour of daylight left—once it gets dark, they have to stop looking. We'll start again in the morning.”

Jordan explained to Alex that while he was in the X-ray, Linda got her laptop out of the car. They logged in to the GPS tracking website. The GPS location from Shadow’s collar was not registering. They used the chat on the website. The agent informed them that the satellite may not receive the GPS signal if the forest canopy was thick. They instructed him to check for the location frequently. They should watch for Shadow coming into a clear reception area so they can detect him.

That night, the ER discharged Alex. Despite the darkness and his physical discomfort, Alex remained determined. He wanted to return to the clinic. A group of volunteers, staff, and local firefighters had gathered there to find Shadow.

The clinic's parking lot was well-lit, and the group's presence was unmistakable. About a dozen people were there. Alex gingerly stepped out of the car, and he leaned on Jordan for support. A wave of appreciation washed over him.

Lisa approached. "Alex, I'm so glad you're okay. We've had teams combing the area since you left. The firefighters even brought in some thermal imaging equipment to help. Everyone's been amazing."

Alex looked around at the faces illuminated by the soft glow of the clinic's exterior lights. He recognized many of the volunteers as staff members and regular helpers at the clinic.

"We're organizing another search first thing in the morning. Many people have already committed to returning to help," Lisa added.

"Thank you, all of you," Alex began, his voice thick with emotion. "Your support, your efforts to find Shadow... it means the world to me. He's not just a dog—he's my friend."

The volunteers listened. Some nodded in agreement. Others reached out to pat Alex reassuringly on the back.

Troy, a firefighter who brought his black lab to the clinic's daycare daily, stepped forward. "We'll keep searching for him, Alex. We're all in this together. Shadow's a part of this community, too."

Lisa managed a big smile. "I can't thank you all enough. We’ll all meet at the trailhead first thing in the morning, ready to continue the search."

As the group started to disperse and make plans for the next day, Alex leaned heavily against Jordan. Exhaustion was setting in. But despite the physical and emotional toll, he felt a glimmer of hope.

Jordan wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, helping him back to the car. "Let's get you home and rested. Tomorrow's another day, and we'll be right there with you."

Under the starlit sky, the small gathering at the clinic thinned. Alex and Jordan got back into the Jeep. Aunt Lynn drove them to the cabin. She would drive Jordan's Jeep home since her car was still at the restaurant. As they exited the vehicle, Alex said with a small smile, “Call us when you get home so that we know you made it safely.” 

“What about your prescription? Do you want me to run and get it filled?” Aunt Lynn asked.

Jordan interjected, “No, you go home and get some rest. Once I have him settled, I’ll go to the pharmacy and pick it up tonight.”

Alex said sternly, “Just get me in the house with my laptop so I can locate him, please?”

Jordan and Aunt Lynn both nodded, and Aunt Lynn drove off. Jordan helped Alex up to the porch and into the house.

The cabin felt claustrophobic as Alex stepped inside. He stripped down to his underwear in the entryway, the bandages clear on his hip.

As they stood in the living room, Jordan turned to Alex. "Are you okay? You seem angry since we left the clinic." 

"I’m pissed, Jordan. I’m pissed at my PTSD. It turned me into a basket case at that trailhead. I’ve always been the strong one. I’m always the one that people lean on when things get tough. I was always the one who kept everyone safe. I fucking crumbled like a fucking child, all because I lost my poor little doggy." His voice raised in level. "Do you know how fucked up and ridiculous I am? Sean was practically cradling me on that rock. He and Lisa must think I’m the biggest fucking loser ever."

"Are you done?” Jordan asked, looking at an imaginary watch. “We don't have time for a pity party right now." Alex felt startled.

"Lisa told me you punched the fucking bear to get it away from Shadow," Jordan said, his voice tinged with disbelief. "That isn’t what a fucking loser does. Do you hear me? You are the strongest and most courageous man I have ever met. Being in your presence is such a comfort to everyone lucky enough to be around you. They get to witness the man that you are. You are strong, Alex—you're just dealing with a trauma that is sometimes overwhelming. We all know that. Sean's not only a paramedic, he also served. Do you think he judges you because you went into mild shock and had a panic attack? You saved Lisa from getting seriously hurt. Do you think she’s judging you? So take the next five minutes to stand here and sulk and feel bad about yourself. After that, we get to work and find our boy."

There was a pause. Time stood still. Then Jordan added, almost as an afterthought, "I love you, Alex. I admire you. I will fight for you."

The words hung in the air, charged with significance. It was the first time he had expressed his feelings so openly, so passionately. Jordan's eyes widened slightly, as if he had not intended to be so harsh or to admit his feelings so casually.

Alex, still processing his words, looked at Jordan. A myriad of emotions crossed his face.

Then, slowly, a soft smile spread across Alex's lips. Despite the whirlwind of emotions he was experiencing, everything suddenly seemed to come into focus. He said, "I love you too, Jordan.”

In that instant, the tension dissolved. Jordan stepped closer, closing the gap between them. Their eyes locked, conveying more than words ever could.

They embraced. The contact ignited a spark of warmth that radiated through their bodies.

Jordan pulled back slightly, his hands cradling Alex's face. He gazed into Alex's eyes, those deep pools of emotion, and leaned in to press a gentle, lingering kiss on his lips.

Alex responded instinctively, his arms wrapping around Jordan's waist, drawing him closer. The kiss deepened. Their lips moved in sync.

The surrounding air seemed to hum as they parted, breathless and with racing hearts. They stood there, foreheads touching, basking in the afterglow of their admission.

"I've wanted to tell you I loved you for so long," Jordan whispered, barely audible.

"Me too," Alex replied, a sense of peace washing over him. "I was just waiting for the right moment."

Jordan laughed. "A screaming match love admission. Go us!” He held out his fist to fist-bump Alex.

Alex laughed and fist-bumped Jordan. "Thank you. Thank you for grounding me, for pulling me back to my baseline, as Dr. Martin calls it. I'm centered now, Jordan." 

Alex, looking at his imaginary watch, said, "I still have two minutes left on my pity party, so want to rub my feet?"

Jordan laughed.

They stood together in the cabin’s quiet, with the night enveloping them in its embrace. The first "I love you" was more than words. It was a beginning. It was a promise of all the moments to come.

Jordan helped Alex settle on the couch by placing pillows under his hip for comfort. “Let me get you your laptop and you can log in to the GPS site. We’ll find him, Alex. I know we will.”

Chapter 28

Jordan

The cabin was quiet, save for the occasional crackling of the fireplace. Jordan slipped out to pick up Alex’s antibiotics from the pharmacy. When he returned about an hour later, he carried the medication. He also had another bag with him.

Alex was sitting on the couch, his gaze lost on the laptop’s computer screen. He looked up as Jordan entered.

“I got your antibiotics,” Jordan said, handing Alex the small bag. “And something else.”

He held up a bag from the pet supply store. “I called Chris from the pet store. He was kind enough to meet me tonight and open the store so I could get this.”. He reached into the bag and pulled out another GPS location device. It was exactly like the one they bought for Shadow. “I thought we could set it up and test its range in the forest tomorrow. It might give us a better idea of how to find Shadow.”

A brief spark of interest flickered in Alex’s eyes, but it quickly faded. “Thanks, Jordan,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “Why another one?”

“I want to register this on the website and have us carry it with us on our search tomorrow,” Jordan explained. “We can tell what kind of terrain blocks the signal and what kind allows it to get through. I’m hoping it helps us pinpoint his location.” He tried to inject a note of optimism into his voice. “Chris was great. He’ll also meet us at the trailhead in the morning to help with the search.”

Despite Jordan’s efforts, Alex’s mood remained subdued.

Jordan respected Alex’s need for space. He stayed close but didn’t crowd him. He got his laptop and set up the new GPS unit on the same account. As the night wore on, Alex’s emotions bubbled to the surface several times. Tears streamed down his face. He sobbed as panic attacks seized him.

Jordan was there instantly each time. He wrapped his arms around Alex and held him. He whispered soothing words, his voice a steady presence in the tumult of Alex’s grief. “I’m here, Alex. You’re not alone in this.”

Alex clung to Jordan. His sobs eventually subsided into quiet whimpers. Jordan felt each wave of emotion as keenly as if it were his own, his heart aching for Alex and Shadow.

As they prepared for bed, the reality of the situation remained heavy in the air. Jordan helped Alex settle, ensuring he was comfortable given his injuries. In the darkness, Jordan listened to Alex’s steady breathing. Despite everything, that sound brought a measure of peace.

The night was long and filled with moments of silence and sudden tears. Through it all, Jordan was there—a steadfast presence, holding Alex, sharing in his pain, and offering silent strength.

The first light of dawn was breaking as Jordan awoke. Alex had been up for a while and slipped into his military training mode without a word. He efficiently packed three backpacks with water, protein bars, extra clothes, and an emergency kit. His movements were methodical, each item filled with precision and purpose.

Jordan watched, understanding the need for this focus. He quickly prepared some oatmeal while Alex loaded the car. He urged Alex to eat something before they left. Alex complied, swallowing mechanically, his mind already on the task ahead.

“How are you?” Jordan asked.

Alex replied, “The worst is behind me, I think. When I woke up earlier, I did one of Dr. Martin’s guided mediations he made for me. His voice doesn’t irritate me when I meditate like others do. He has a way of calming me.”

Jordan says, “That’s great. I’m glad they’re helping.”

“You’re helping, Jordan. I appreciate that you don’t push me. You let me work things out for myself, but knowing you are in the room makes the process easier.”

A smile came to Jordan’s face. “One thing I’m learning about us is that I know when I need to be in your space and when to give you space,” he said. “Calling you out last night was me being in your space. I knew you needed to vent, but you also needed a push.”

As they stood while eating in the kitchen, Alex reached over and hugged Jordan. “Thank you for making me feel strong even when I’m not.”

“Even at your worst, you’re still the strongest man I know. I love you because of your strength of character, will, and determination. I love you not just because of all those amazing muscles. PTSD doesn’t define you. It is a part of you. Like my hearing loss.”

Alex looked lovingly at Jordan. “Are you ready to go find our boy?”

“Absolutely.”

Forty minutes later, they arrived at the trailhead. They found a remarkable assembly of people. Thirty-five individuals had gathered in the early morning light. Chris from the pet store was standing by his car. Sean’s firefighter friends all surrounded Lisa and Brenda. Pawsitive Vibes staff and volunteers scattered throughout the parking area. Lawyers from Pacific Edge Legal Group were near a table with Linda.

Sean approached Alex and announced that a friend from search and rescue would soon join them. The friend would bring a tracking dog.

“We’ll need something with Shadow’s scent,” Sean said, looking toward Jordan and Alex.

Jordan hurried to Alex’s truck and retrieved a well-worn toy that Shadow often played with. Handing it to Sean, he returned to stand beside Alex, who remained quiet, his eyes fixed on the forest ahead. He sensed Alex’s energy diminishing as he stared into the woods. He grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Linda, ever the organizer, had thought of everything. She arranged radios, maps of the area, bottled water, protein snacks, and first aid kits on the tables.

Lisa told Jordan she called Linda. The two of them, with Sean, were up for most of the night getting everything ready for the search.

Jordan saw that Linda had set up a satellite link she borrowed from the office. She set up a station at the trailhead base camp to get a strong Wi-Fi signal. This technological setup would be amazing for maintaining communication and coordination throughout the search. It impressed Jordan.

Standing at the forefront of the assembled group, Lisa exuded confidence and authority. She had organized the search grid with incredible efficiency. Thanks to Sean, they distributed radios that were on loan from search and rescue. She assigned people into groups and handed out maps of the area. Her leadership skills were a sight to behold.

Sean and Lisa worked seamlessly together, coordinating the volunteers with precision. They told Jordan and Alex that they were on search team A heading north. They ensured they were well-equipped for the search.

As they watched, Jordan felt struck by the enormity of the operation’s logistics. “I didn’t know it would be like this,” he whispered to Alex, his voice laced with awe and appreciation. “How did she get a food truck to come up here?”

Alex nodded, his jaw set with determination. “They’re all here for Shadow... for us,” he said, a mix of pride and guilt in his voice.

The morning wore on, and the search parties departed and moved deeper into the woods. Jordan and Alex prepared to leave on their assigned route. Before leaving, Jordan set up the GPS tracking website on Linda’s laptop. The screen showed a digital map with a minor blip representing their location. He explained that he and Alex have a second device to help them find Shadow’s location. Linda and a few volunteers watched the screen.

Alex grabbed the backpacks from the truck. He tied the three packs he set up and Jordan’s veterinary bag together. Then he hoisted them onto his back effortlessly.

Jordan said, “If you think I’m letting you carry all four packs, you’re wrong. What about your hip?”

Alex laughed. “My hip hurts like a bitch. But I’ve hiked longer distances and carried more, even with more injuries. This is nothing.”

“I will not win this, will I, Atlas?” Jordan joked.

Alex replied, “Nope, let’s get going.”

Minutes later, they set off on their assigned route. The early morning sun cast its rays through the trees, illuminating the path ahead. Thirty minutes after they left, Linda contacted Jordan on the radio. She said the blip that marked their location on the laptop vanished.

“It must be the tree canopy,” Jordan told Linda. “It is noticeably thicker where we are now.”

Jordan and Alex continued their search. The dense forest around them was beautiful and daunting. Only the sounds of nature and their footsteps punctuated the silence. Jordan kept a watchful eye on the surroundings, alert for any signs of bears. His senses had heightened since Sean distributed bear spray to the search teams.

As they trekked deeper into the woods, Jordan noticed Alex favoring his injured hip. Jordan knew that Alex, stoic as ever, wouldn’t voice his pain or ask for a break.

“Let’s stop for a minute,” Jordan suggested. He found a small clearing where they could rest. “We need to stay hydrated and keep our energy up.”

Alex reluctantly agreed, easing himself down onto a fallen log. They both took sips of water and unwrapped protein bars.

It was then that Alex’s resolve crumbled. Tears formed in his eyes, and his voice choked with emotion. “Jordan, what will I do if we can’t find Shadow? What if he’s lost, hurt... or worse? I can’t lose him. I can’t lose anyone else. I’m not strong enough.”

Jordan turned to face Alex. “Alex, listen to me,” he said. “You are a soldier who has faced challenges most people can’t imagine. You have a strength tested in ways few will ever know.”

Alex looked up, his tear-streaked face a picture of vulnerability and fear.

Jordan continued, his voice steady and reassuring. “Tap into that strength now, more than ever. Remember everything you’ve learned, the good and the bad. It’s all part of who you are. That strength, that resilience, it’s still there, Alex. I need you to dig deeper than you have in a long time. I know it’s in there.”

Jordan’s words were like a lifeline. They were authentic.

Alex took a deep breath. He wiped away his tears, nodding slowly. “You’re right,” he said, his voice still a little shaky. “I can’t give up. Not now. Shadow needs me.”

Jordan reached out, placing a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “And I’m right here with you every step of the way. We’re in this together.”

As they stood up to continue their search, there was a renewed sense of purpose in their movements. They resumed their hike together. The surrounding forest seemed less daunting now.

The forest around Jordan and Alex was a maze of green, the dense canopy overhead obscuring the sky. They moved steadily, guided by determination. Suddenly, the radio attached to Jordan’s belt crackled to life. It broke the silence of their trek.

It was Lisa’s voice, tinged with excitement. “Jordan, Alex, we see him! Shadow’s GPS signal just popped up on the laptop. He’s northeast of our current position, near Ransom Creek!”

Jordan’s heart leaped at the news. “Can you see our location from there?” he asked, his voice filled with urgency.

“No, your signal’s still out. But Shadow’s is clear.” Lisa responded her voice a beacon of hope.

Fiddling with one backpack, Alex looked up suddenly. “Wait, I have my drone in here. We can use it to get our GPS signal above the tree line.”

Jordan turned to him, surprise evident on his face. “You have a drone?”

Alex nodded, pulling out a compact yet sophisticated-looking drone. “It’s not much, but it should do the job. I brought it with us yesterday when we were hiking the trail. I chose not to use it because of all the trees, but the drone is still charged.

They quickly set up the drone and attached the GPS locator. Jordan watched in amazement as Alex expertly navigated the controls. The drone whirred to life. Its rotors buzzed as it lifted off the ground and ascended higher and higher. Alex guided the branches like an expert until it cleared the thick canopy of trees.

Lisa’s voice came through the walkie-talkie again, barely containing her excitement. “We see you! You’re both on the screen now. Shadow is directly north of your GPS signal, about two and a half inches on the screen.”

Jordan laughed, the tension easing from his shoulders. “What’s that in miles, Lisa?”

“I don’t know, just head north!” Lisa replied with a hint of laughter in her voice. “I’ll keep you updated if he moves or we lose the signal again.”

He armed himself with this new information. Their recent technological advantage lifted Jordan and Alex’s spirits. The drone buzzed overhead as Alex brought it back down.

The radio squawked again in Lisa’s voice. “We lost your signal again.”

Jordan pressed the button on the radio. “It’s okay. We had our GPS on a drone and sent it above the tree line. We can do it again if we need to check our position with you.”

Alex retrieved the GPS unit and placed the drone back into the backpack. Pulling out his compass, he found north and then moved at a quick pace.

As they moved, the hope flickering in Jordan’s heart grew stronger. Each step felt more purposeful, guided by the knowledge that Shadow was within reach.

Despite his injury, Alex moved with determination, his gaze fixed on the north. Jordan stayed close to ensure Alex didn’t overexert himself. The radio crackled occasionally with updates from Lisa. As they continued northward, a cautious optimism replaced the morning’s despair.

At one point, Lisa delivered a flurry of updates to Alex and Jordan. “We’ve redirected everyone who was in different areas and have a new plan. Four other teams are converging on Shadow’s location now,” she informed them.

Alex clutched the radio. “What’s the plan, Lisa?” he asked.

“Linda’s going to stay at this base camp with the laptop. She’ll monitor the GPS signals and stay in touch,” Lisa explained. “Sean, some others, and I are moving to a closer trailhead to where we see Shadow’s signal.”

Jordan and Alex exchanged a look of understanding.

“Sean’s a seasoned hiker, he knows this area inside out,” Lisa continued. “He mentioned scattered cabins around where Shadow’s signal is coming from. It’s possible someone might have seen him or will find him.”

The notion that Shadow might be near one of the cabins offered a glimmer of hope.

“Shadow’s still in the same area, near Ransom Creek,” Lisa added. “We’ve got a good chance of finding him, Alex.”

In the background, Jordan could hear the sounds of teams organizing and moving out. The operation was a well-oiled machine.

“Thanks, Lisa. We’re heading in that direction now,” Jordan responded.

“Stay safe, and keep in touch.” Lisa signed off, her voice a rallying cry in the wilderness. The possibility of finding Shadow, once a distant hope, now felt tangibly close.

Despite the pain in his hip, Alex moved with a newfound purpose. Jordan kept pace, his eyes scanning the terrain, alert to any sign of Shadow or potential hazards.

As they neared the creek, the sounds of running water mixed with the natural chorus of the forest. The area was coming alive with the efforts of the search teams.

Linda’s voice crackled on the radio. “Jordan, I can see you on the computer screen now, both you and Shadow. If you keep going upstream, you should run into him. His signal has moved a little, but he is still in the same area.”

Alex smiled, and Jordan replied, “Thanks, Linda. We’re heading upstream.”

During their focused search, Jordan’s face showed frustration. He realized something was amiss. He exhaled, his hand instinctively reaching up to his left ear. Alex, attuned to Jordan’s every expression, noticed the change immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked, his voice laced with concern.

“It’s my hearing aid,” Jordan replied, a hint of annoyance in his tone. “I forgot to recharge them last night with everything going on. I want to hear if Shadow barks or if any sounds could lead us to him.”

Alex’s face softened with understanding. He stopped in his tracks and quickly delved into his grey backpack. After rummaging, he triumphantly pulled out a small white case. It contained Jordan’s backup pair of hearing aids that operated on batteries.

Jordan’s eyes widened in surprise. “I can’t believe you remembered these.”

Alex returned the smile, his actions speaking louder than words. “You got me, I got you.”

Chapter 29

Alex

Continuing their journey northward, the dense forest canopy seemed to stay open. They followed the river.

"Jordan, can I explain something to you?” Alex asked.

Jordan nodded. "Of course. What's up?"

Alex began, "Dr. Martin has been helping me understand some things lately. I want to see if I can explain to you how I have been feeling... Before I heard Shadow was alive, it felt like a cloud of despair shrouded my mind. My thoughts were very dark and foreboding. I thought Shadow was gone forever because of the bear. I just felt numb." 

He paused, composing his next thought. "In the short time Shadow's been with me, he's become more than I could have imagined. He has become a lifeline in my struggle against my PTSD. When I thought he was gone, the world got dark." 

They continued to walk for several more moments. Then, he continued. "You are also one of my lifelines. Dr. Martin explains that the more lifelines I have, the stronger I'm going to become. Since yesterday, a constant sense of loss has consumed me. It led to my panic attacks. The attacks feel like someone is clenching my chest with an iron grip. It leaves me gasping for air. The darkness is like a heavy, weighted blanket holding me down. I feel it smothering me, and it smothers the feeling of everything good in my life. It's like I'm alone and helpless. When I saw him disappear into the forest, it destroyed me."

He stopped walking and faced Jordan. 

"Hearing that they found him, that he is alive… At first, a moment of disbelief washed over me. My mind was so accustomed to the grief that I struggled to grasp the reality of the situation. My emotions immediately changed as the news sank in that he was okay. The best I can describe is it's like the first rays of sun piercing through a relentless storm." Alex took a deep breath and looked into Jordan's eyes.

He continued. “The news was like a catalyst. It sparked a transformation in my emotions. The overwhelming sadness lessened, replaced by joy. It feels like someone has lifted the weight off my chest. The panic attacks are like sudden, intense fear that grips me. Right now, it all seems a distant memory. Now, I can ‘feel,' if that makes sense."

He walked over to Jordan and grabbed his hand. "Jordan, I want you to imagine being in a dark room for days, and suddenly the light gets turned on. That's what I experienced emotionally just now. The relief is so intense. Almost physical. It manifests into a deep, long, releasing breath I didn't know I was holding. It makes me feel a renewed connection to the world around me. Like I got my sense of belonging back that had been missing since yesterday." He closed the gap between him and Jordan and hugged him.

"I know that was difficult, but thank you for sharing that,” Jordan said. “I didn’t know that it was like that. You amaze me, Alex. I love you more each minute of the day. I hope you know I take the responsibility of being one of your lifelines seriously. Babe, I am so proud of you."

They continued walking north quietly for a few minutes. Alex felt emotionally depleted from sharing such a personal experience with Jordan. He wanted to lighten the mood.

“Okay, what do you call a cute guy with his hearing aids turned off?” Alex stared with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Jordan sighed and played along. “I don’t know, what?”

“Anything you want, he can’t hear you!” Alex delivered the punchline with a flourish, his face breaking into a wide grin.

Jordan couldn't help but burst into laughter. It eased the tension in both of their shoulders. It was the perfect remedy for the heavy atmosphere hanging over them.

Encouraged by Jordan's reaction, Alex continued. "All right, here’s another one. Why did the bodybuilder grab a fresh shirt?"

Now engaged in this impromptu comedy session, Jordan shrugged with a smile. "I don’t know."

"Someone told him he looked ripped!" Alex declared, unable to contain his laughter.

Their laughter echoed through the forest. Jordan's chuckles were genuine.

As they walked, Alex continued making jokes. Each one brought more laughter and lightness to their journey. The jokes ranged from silly puns to clever wordplays.

"Okay, last one," Alex said, holding up a hand as he prepared for the grand finale. "Why shouldn’t you trust trees?"

Jordan, now eagerly awaiting the punchline, shook his head. "Tell me."

"They seem shady! Get it?" Alex exclaimed and pointed to a tree, and they both erupted into laughter once more.

Jordan and Alex continued their search. Suddenly, the radio crackled to life, Linda's voice breaking through the static.

"Honey, you're close, according to the computer screen. Start yelling his name," she urged.

Alex responded, "Thanks, Aunt Lynn. We're on it." Then he and Jordan began calling out Shadow's name with renewed vigor. Their voices echoed through the trees.

Minutes ticked by, each one feeling more prolonged than the last. Then a faint bark pierced the air, sending a jolt of adrenaline. Without hesitation, Alex sprinted, Jordan matching his pace stride for stride. Shadow's barks grew louder and clearer as they ran, guiding them like a beacon.

They scrambled up an embankment leading from the river, their hearts pounding. There, hobbling toward them, was Shadow. The sight of him was both heart-wrenching and joyous. Dried blood covered him as he severely limped. He clearly displayed the ordeal he had been through.

As they reached him, Alex's emotions overflowed. He removed the backpack bundle and fell to the ground. Despite their injuries, he rolled around with Shadow. Shadow wagged his tail in happiness, and his barks were cries of joy. The reunion was raw and beautiful, a moment of pure, unbridled happiness.

Jordan knelt beside them, opening his red veterinary backpack. His hands were steady as he assessed Shadow's injuries. Most of the wounds were scratches and bruises from the bear encounter. But his brow furrowed in concern when he examined his injured paw. The paw was more swollen than before. Jordan's worried expression didn't go unnoticed by Alex.

Alex, still on the ground with Shadow, reached for the radio. "Aunt Lynn, we found him. Shadow's with us," he announced, his voice choked with emotion.

The response was immediate. A chorus of cheers and relief came through the radio. The volunteers' joy was palpable, even over the static.

“That’s amazing, honey. I’ll let everyone know. Thank God,” Linda said with relief.

Jordan continued his examination, his professional demeanor contrasting with the emotional scene unfolding. "We need to get him back to the clinic," he said, urgency clear in his voice. "He's going to need proper medical attention."

Alex nodded, tears of relief and worry mingling on his cheeks. He stroked Shadow's fur. He whispered words of comfort and love to his brave companion.

An unforeseen turn of events cut short the emotional reunion by the river. Shadow was still in a state of heightened anxiety from his ordeal. He ran away from them. His behavior was erratic, contrasting with the joyful reunion moments before.

Shadow's reaction surprised them. They were still sitting on the ground. They reached out to grasp Shadow. "Shadow, wait!" Alex called out, but the dog was running away, hobbling.

Both men sprang to their feet without hesitation, leaving their backpacks behind. They ran after Shadow, their concern growing with each step. Despite his limping gait, Shadow moved with a sense of urgency that was difficult to match.

With his quicker strides and less mass, Jordan caught up to Shadow first. He gently grasped Shadow's collar, slowing him down. Alex caught up, panting from the sprint.

"What's wrong, buddy? Are you okay?" Alex asked, his voice filled with worry as he knelt beside Shadow. The dog's behavior was puzzling, his eyes darting around as if searching for something.

Shadow was still upset. Jordan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small lead leash. He attached it to Shadow's collar, providing them with a better way to secure him.

Shadow, however, seemed intent on moving in a specific direction. He started walking with conviction, with the attached leash. He pulled as if eager to lead them somewhere.

Jordan and Alex exchanged a look of bewilderment, but trusted Shadow's instincts. They followed, allowing him to guide them, hands never leaving the leash.

As they moved to the edge of the dense forest, Shadow's determination never wavered. His pace was steady despite his apparent injuries. Occasionally, his nose sniffed the air as if he were tracking something.

Shadow guided Jordan and Alex away from the river. They journeyed toward the dense tree line. The forest seemed to open, revealing a small, secluded cabin. Towering trees cast a shadow over the cabin. It appeared weathered and neglected. A solitary dirt bike leaned against the side of the house. Its presence almost felt out of place in the tranquil forest setting.

Alex and Jordan exchanged a hesitant glance as they approached, their steps slowing. Shadow, however, continued to tug on the leash, his determination unwavering. A workshop-like building flanked the small cabin. Pieces of lumber scattered out front. They were likely used for splitting wood for the fire. No smoke was curling from the cabin's chimney, adding an eerie stillness.

"What do you think?" Alex asked, his voice low and cautious.

Peering toward the building, Jordan replied, "He wants to go there. Let's see where he leads us." Alex stepped in front of Jordan as they advanced.

As they neared the cabin, the sense of unease grew. The surrounding woods were quiet, as if holding their breath in anticipation. The workshop seemed frozen in time. It held scattered lumber and tools, a snapshot of rural life untouched for a while.

Shadow's pace quickened as they approached the workshop, his nose to the ground. Then a pungent, unmistakable odor hit them when they opened the door. The heavy, oppressive smell of decay filled the air. It caused both men to recoil instinctively.

Alex and Jordan covered their mouths and noses with their hands. They backed away from the workshop. Their eyes met in a shared expression of horror and confusion. Shadow halted his advance and whined softly.

In the tense silence around the workshop, Alex's voice broke through. It was heavy with a grim realization. "I've smelled dead bodies before, Jordan. There's a body in there," he said, a grave certainty in his tone.

Jordan opened his mouth to protest and insist they face whatever was inside together. Yet, he saw the resolve in Alex's eyes. He nodded, understanding the need to trust his judgment at this moment.

Alex removed his shirt and placed it over his nose and mouth to cover up the overwhelming stench of decay. He reached into his waistband, into a concealed holster, and withdrew his Glock.

Jordan, surprised, said, "You brought a gun with you?"

Alex nodded. He raised his hand for Jordan to step back and cautiously approached the workshop door. His every sense heightened. He decided against entering through the door. He moved to a window on the side of the building and lost sight of Jordan. Peering in, the dim interior appeared, revealing a tragic scene.

In the center of the small room lay a body—an older man, lying in an unnatural position. The advanced state of decay was clear, even from Alex's limited vantage point. The room was otherwise empty, the stillness adding to the eerie atmosphere.

Returning to Jordan, Alex's expression was solemn. "There's a body in there. It looks like an older man. It's pretty decayed. We shouldn't go in. We need to call the police," he reported, his voice low. Jordan, his face a mask of concern, nodded in agreement.

Alex holstered his Glock. He reached for the walkie-talkie, gripping it tightly. He relayed the information to Aunt Lynn. "We've found a dead body of an adult male in a cabin near our location. We need the police sent to our GPS location on the map."

There was a brief pause before Aunt Lynn's voice came through, marked by shock and urgency. "Alex, I'm sending help right away. The other teams are close to you—others will be there soon. I'll phone the state police and the Forest Service. Are you and Jordan all right?"

"Yeah, Aunt Lynn, we’re okay. No one else is around."

They both stepped back from the workshop and Alex put his shirt back on. They stood at a respectful distance from the scene of the grim discovery. Sensing the seriousness, Shadow stayed close to their side.

As they waited for the authorities to arrive, the quiet forest quiet seemed to take on a different meaning. The peacefulness was now overshadowed by the reality of what lay within the workshop.

Sean and Lisa arrived fifteen minutes later. Relief washed over them as they saw Shadow, Alex, and Jordan.

Alex and Jordan briefed them on the situation. They explained the discovery in the workshop. Sean nodded. As a trained paramedic, he investigated further. The others stayed back.

Sean entered the small workshop. The others watched, a collective breath held as they awaited his return. Moments later, he emerged, his expression somber. "It's an adult male. Looks like he might've fallen over and died. No signs of foul play," he reported, his voice measured.

He immediately radioed his fire station for the details and their location. With the report made, Sean turned his attention to the nearby cabin.

His movements were deliberate. Sean peered through the cabin's window. He ensured there was no immediate danger or other occupants. Seeing nothing amiss, he opened the door. The others followed his actions with keen interest.

Inside the cabin, Sean was a calm and capable leader. His actions were methodical. They could see him conducting a quick but thorough check through the door. When he reemerged, there was a new piece of information in his hands.

"It looks like this place belonged to a man named Scott Miller," Sean said. He held up some medication bottles for the others to see. "Found these inside—nitroglycerin and blood thinners. It's possible Mr. Miller had a stroke or a heart attack."

At the mention of the name Scott Miller, Alex and Jordan exchanged a look of stunned recognition.

"That's Shadow's owner," Jordan said. "Stephanie Miller's father."

The revelation hit them like a wave. The circumstances of their search suddenly had new, poignant meaning. Shadow's frantic behavior made heart-wrenching sense.

Alex's expression was a mix of sadness and understanding.

"He must've been trying to get help," he mumbled. His gaze lingered on Shadow, who sat by their side.

The group stood in somber silence, processing the new information. Each person lost themselves in their thoughts.

Staff members and firefighters from the other three search teams arrived. The area became a hive of activity. Seven ATVs transformed the peaceful forest setting. Their engines broke the natural quiet. One vehicle bore the symbols of the state police, and another had the park service logo. Men from Sean's firehouse drove the others.

Alex and Jordan gave their statements to the officers. Sean coordinated with his team. He arranged the return of Alex and Jordan to the second base camp with the state police after they were done with their questions. He handed Alex the keys to his truck, understanding their need to get Shadow to the clinic as soon as possible. Jordan had already informed everyone that Shadow required immediate veterinary attention.

While waiting for transport, Alex retrieved their discarded backpacks. He only took the veterinary bag and left the other packs with Sean. 

Rick and Tyler, two firefighters that had arrived on ATVs, agreed to escort them back to the second base camp. Alex and Jordan climbed onto the back of the ATVs. Alex cradled Shadow gently in his arms. His concern for the dog was clear in every careful movement.

Upon reaching the base camp, the other members of the clinic team greeted them. Thanking the two firemen, they made their way to Sean's truck and placed Shadow in the middle between them.

Taking the wheel of Sean's truck, Alex drove back to the clinic, Jordan beside him. The journey was quiet, both men lost in thought.

They arrived at the clinic in the early afternoon. The clinic, usually a place of healing and care, now felt like a sanctuary, a haven after the day's ordeal. As they entered, the familiar sights and sounds of the clinic brought a sense of coming home.

Chapter 30

Jordan

Once they arrived at the clinic, Jordan and Alex took Shadow into an examination room. The first order of business was a thorough examination, including a complete set of X-rays and bloodwork to assess potential internal injuries. The staff gathered around, their faces etched with concern. Jordan positioned Shadow for the scans.

The tension in the room was palpable as they waited for the results. When the X-rays came back clear, showing no broken bones, relief swept through the clinic.

Despite the ordeal, Shadow’s scratches were all superficial. None were severe enough to need stitches. The skilled and gentle staff cleaned his wounds. Shadow was exhausted. His tail wagged weakly in gratitude.

Alex was a constant presence by Shadow’s side, assisting in every step of the care process. Holding Shadow’s paw during the cleaning, he whispered words of comfort. He helped Jordan administer medication to the injured paw.

Dehydration was a concern. Jordan set up an IV drip to ensure Shadow received the fluids needed for his recovery. The dog lay there, his breathing steady. A peacefulness settled over him as the fluids replenished his strength.

Throughout the process, several staff members and volunteers that had been part of the search returned to the clinic. One volunteer returned Sean’s truck to the second base camp. Another retrieved Alex’s vehicle from the first. The clinic became a hub of coordinated effort.

The atmosphere in the clinic was one of quiet efficiency and camaraderie. Shadow rested. He was the center of their world, and his well-being was their goal.

As the day progressed, Shadow’s condition stabilized. His eyes occasionally opened to look at Alex or Jordan. A soft whine of gratitude escaped him. Alex and Jordan found solace together in the moments between treatments and check-ins. The extra staff and volunteers departed one by one.

Alex and Jordan were still riding the wave of emotions from the day’s rollercoaster. They approached Linda, Sean, and Lisa to express their heartfelt thanks.

“Before you all go, we wanted to say something,” Jordan began, his voice thick with emotion.

“We could never have gotten Shadow back without your help,” Alex said. “You were there for us every step of the way.”

Linda stepped forward, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Alex enveloped her in a tight hug.

Meanwhile, Jordan reached out to Lisa, pulling her into a heartfelt embrace.

“You were incredible today, Lisa,” he said, his voice muffled against her shoulder. “Thank you.”

Alex and Jordan exchanged heartfelt hugs to their supporters. Watching the exchanges with a half-smile, Sean pretended to feel left out. “What about me?”

Without missing a beat, Alex and Jordan stepped forward. They wrapped Sean in a joint hug. They filled the moment with laughter and gentle teasing.

“You were amazing out there, Sean,” Jordan said as they stepped back. “We can’t thank you all enough. Especially for arranging to get us back here so quickly.”

They walked Linda to her car, telling her to call them once she got home safely. Lisa and Sean laughed when they heard this, getting into Sean’s truck and leaving behind Linda. 

Alex and Jordan stood side by side, watching them go. The clinic parking lot was quiet, but the echoes of the day’s events lingered in the air. Jordan said, “Let’s get our boy and go home. We can watch him there.”

Jordan was the first to stir the following day, his eyes blinking open to the morning light. Glancing at the clock, he decided he would skip their usual morning run. Instead, he turned his attention to Alex, still sound asleep beside him.

Leaning over, Jordan gently brushed his lips against Alex’s forehead. Then he moved down to his cheek, delivering sweet kisses to rouse him. Alex, half-asleep, mumbled a playful protest. Jordan could make out the words “Go away... sleep is more important than kisses.”

Unfazed, Jordan nudged him playfully. “Shadow needs to go to the bathroom,” he said, a hint of mischief in his voice.

That got Alex’s attention. He sprang out of bed with surprising agility, rubbing his eyes.

“Dirty trick, using my dog against my need for sleep,” he grumbled, though a smile formed on his lips.

“So, I guess with the ‘my dog’ comment, we’re keeping Shadow, huh? We’re not just fostering him anymore?” Jordan asked, curious.

Alex’s voice was light, teasing, as he finally stood up, stretching his naked limbs. Jordan chuckled, watching him with fondness. “Yeah, I think Shadow decided that for us, and we’re just now catching on.”

Their laughter filled the room, a sound as comforting as the morning light. Jordan got out of bed and placed his hearing aids in. He joined Alex in coaxing Shadow, who was still curled up and looked quite content in his cozy spot.

“Come on, big guy, time for a bathroom break,” Alex coaxed, nudging Shadow. The dog looked up with sleepy eyes, debating whether the call of nature was worth leaving his comfortable spot.

After a moment of hesitation, Shadow slowly uncurled himself and lazily stretched.

“How much happy juice did you give him last night? He has a hangover.” Alex laughed. The sight was endearing, bringing more smiles and soft chuckles from Alex and Jordan.

After Shadow was done, Jordan leaned against the kitchen counter and sipped his freshly-brewed coffee. Alex began making his tea.

“You were on fire last night,” Alex said. “Re-bandaging and padding Shadow’s paw so that it was more protected. You even changed my bandages and cleaned all the dirt from the ATVs out of my stitches. I guess I’m one of your patients now, too.”

“I need to run your DNA to see what breed you are.”

Alex laughed. “I would guess part Doberman, Labrador, and German Shepherd.”

“I’m thinking a Great Dane and a Collie because all you want to do is cuddle, and you are so damn stubborn!” Jordan joked.

Alex, still naked, walked to Jordan and leaned in for a kiss. “No one has ever accused me of being someone who cuddles. But with you, it’s all I want to do.” He kissed Jordan again. “Thank you for bandaging my wounds, Dr. Williams. Do I get a treat now?” Alex had a devilish look in his eyes, and he raised his eyebrows.

Over an hour later, Alex’s face had that post-orgasm look as he lay on the couch. Jordan had given him a very slow and intense blowjob that made his toes curl.

“Wow!” Alex said.

“Yeah, that was hot,” Jordan agreed. “I love making you squirm and watching your face when you come. You taste like kettle corn, sweet and salty.”

Alex laughed out loud. “Want to get off, too, handsome?” He sat up and kissed Jordan.

“Sure, you returning the favor?” asked Jordan.

Alex sat up on the edge of the couch. He fixed his gaze on Jordan’s naked body, their faces only inches away from each other. The silence in the room was heavy. Alex took a deep breath.

“Jordan,” he began. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you suggested... about bottoming.” He paused. “You know, I’ve always been on the other side of it –- I have always been the one on the giving end. But for myself, I’ve never... I guess I’ve never allowed myself to be in that position. Never wanted to be that vulnerable with someone.”

Alex shifted slightly. The movement brought a wince of discomfort from his recent injuries. “But here’s the thing,” he continued. “I trust you, Jordan, more than anyone I have ever been with. And I’m not just saying that. Our connection, what we have, it’s given me a strength I didn’t know I had. I’m ready to try this. I was hoping you could help me bottom for you. I want to experience that connection I never thought I wanted, but I want from you.”

Jordan listened, his expression softening.

“I’ve always been in control, the one in charge. But with you, I feel... safe. I know this is unfamiliar territory for me, but if there’s anyone I want to guide me through this experience, it’s you.” Alex’s eyes held a sincerity that resonated deeply with Jordan.

Jordan leaned in closer, his own emotions mirrored in his eyes. “Alex, I can’t express how much this means hearing you say this. Making love is something I want to do, but it’s not a necessity if you don’t want to do it. I’ll only consider it if you genuinely want it. Please don’t do it because you believe it affects my feelings for you or our relationship. If you want to do this for you, we’ll take it slow, focus on what you need to enjoy, and adjust things as we go. Your trust in me means everything if you want to do that with me, but only for the right reasons.”

Sitting across from him, Jordan could sense the shift in Alex’s demeanor. The usual barriers Alex put up seemed to melt away in the room’s warmth.

“Jordan, I’ve always faced challenges head-on, but this... this is different. It’s personal and about letting go and allowing someone else to lead. I want it to be you.” He reached out, his hand finding Jordan’s.

As Alex laid back on the couch, he opened up to Jordan. He placed two pillows under his left leg where the bandages were. Jordan started with a gentle massage. He focused on the muscles surrounding Alex’s injured hip and his glutes.

“We shouldn’t make love right now. I don’t want to go to the emergency room. There is no way I want to explain to Dr. Eye Candy that I ripped out your stitches while having sex with you for the first time. How about we start with my fingers to help you get used to the sensation?” Jordan asked.

Alex nodded. Jordan lifted and spread Alex’s good leg and moved Alex’s arm up to support it at his knee, exposing Alex fully. Jordan was in awe of Alex, his heavily muscled body on display. Alex was quiet, quivering, and staring into Jordan’s eyes. Jordan lowered himself to the floor, his hot breath on Alex’s balls as his tongue reached out and licked them. Jordan’s tongue lowered to his hole. Alex rewarded Jordan with the softest moan he had ever heard come from his lips. He spread Alex’s cheeks with his hands and extended his tongue into his hole.

Jordan carefully maneuvered his tongue into Alex. Deeper moans of pleasure rewarded him. Each time, he pushed in deeper.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” Jordan checked in regularly, his eyes always meeting Alex’s for any sign of discomfort. The stretches of his hole progressed as he inserted his first finger.

Alex’s body spasmed, and he tightened up. He said, “Wow, your fingers are so soft.”

“Relax for me, trust me,” Jordan said. “Lay back and open up for me.”

Jordan progressed with his exploration of Alex. He alternated between his tongue and one or more fingers. Exploring at different depths and using widening stretches, he helped Alex fully relax. Rewards of tenderness followed the more that Alex let go.

Tense spasms wracked his muscled body, but slowly released under Jordan’s touch. Jordan anticipated Alex’s needs. He adjusted his techniques to Alex’s reactions.

“You’re doing great, babe,” Jordan assured him. Alex, usually in control, found solace in surrendering to Jordan’s care.

Alex held his legs in the air, giving Jordan full access. Jordan admired Alex’s body. As they continued, he watched tension, contractions, and relaxation levels change. Alex’s desire and excitement grew. The sensation of Jordan being inside of him made his dick erect again. Jordan jerked himself off with his left hand and used his right hand to make Alex moan in delight. Alex began jerking himself off. As Alex got closer and closer, Jordan went deeper and deeper.

Guttural moans filled the cabin as both sprayed their come all over each other, the sofa, and the floor. It was passionate, intense, and primal. Alex laid listlessly on the couch. Jordan was sweaty and breathing heavily, standing over Alex with his fingers still inside of him. Jordan wiped the sweat from his eyes and bent down as Alex leaned forward and kissed him. Jordan gently pulled his finger out of Alex. Alex moaned a sigh of relief.

Alex looked up at Jordan, his eyes conveying a deep appreciation. “Thank you,” he whispered, reaching up to grasp Jordan’s shoulder and pulling him into him. “I didn’t know what to expect, but this... you made me feel cared for in ways I can’t even describe.”

Jordan smiled a warm smile. “Helping you to explore this side of you is just another way of saying I love you,” he replied softly.

The room settled into a comfortable silence. Jordan’s naked body fell fully on top of Alex, and they kissed passionately.

Later, Jordan showered and got dressed while Alex relaxed on the couch. He brought in a small tub of warm, soapy water and gave Alex a sponge bath so they would not have to re-dress his bandages. The sponge bath got so sensual that Jordan couldn’t help climbing on top of Alex after he was all cleaned up. He pinned Alex’s arms against the couch and fucked his mouth to climax.

Jordan, panting, said, “We’ve got to take a break—I’m getting dehydrated.” He wiped the sweat off of his brow from the intense cardio session with Alex.

Alex grinned from ear to ear. “I never would have guessed that Brookings’s quiet ‘woofdoc’ would be such a powerhouse in the sack. I have never been this submissive in my life. It bugs me and excites me at the same time.” He laughed and hugged Jordan tight.

After freshening up again, Jordan sat at the kitchen table and worked on his week’s schedule.

“I feel terrible about Mr. Miller,” Jordan said softly. “Shadow is such a great dog—he must have taken good care of him. It’s heartbreaking to think Shadow must have wandered for days before finding you.”

Alex, busy preparing breakfast, paused and nodded in agreement. The sizzle of eggs in the pan filled the brief silence.

“I’ve been thinking about Mr. Miller, too,” Alex admitted. “We need to call Stephanie and tell her about her father. It’s the right thing to do.”

Jordan looked uncertain. “Don’t you think the police already did that?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly.

Alex shook his head, flipping an egg expertly. “Not sure, but I think we could ask Sean if he knows anything. If they haven’t reached out, we should.”

After breakfast, while Alex tidied up, Jordan went to examine Shadow. He gently prodded and inspected the dog’s injured paw. Shadow, for his part, remained calm, seemingly trusting in Jordan’s care.

“The paw is looking better today,” Jordan announced, a note of relief in his voice. He stroked Shadow’s head affectionately, receiving a contented tail wag.

Alex wiped his hands on a kitchen towel, then joined them in the living room. He crouched down next to Shadow, examining the paw himself. “That’s good news,” he said, a small smile on his lips. “He’s a tough one.”

“Just like his dads,” Jordan replied, smiling. “Are you ever going to get dressed today?”

Two hours later, Lisa called Jordan and Alex to come to exam room one. The room was usually for medical procedures and animal care. But it took on a different role as Sean entered with a green wooden box. It was about as big as a thick notebook. His expression was solemn.

Alex and Jordan joined Sean in the room. Lisa quietly took a seat in the corner. A respectful silence enveloped the space.

Sean cleared his throat. “The preliminary reports say it was a heart attack,” he began, his eyes meeting Jordan’s. “His body was severely decayed. But the medical examiner is confident in his initial findings.”

Alex’s brows furrowed as he processed the information. Jordan, standing beside him, placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

“The state police went through Mr. Miller’s cabin,” Sean continued. “Likely for safety reasons, they will tear it down because it’s in terrible shape. It’s unclear how long he lived there, but it seems he came across it abandoned and stayed there, fixing it up as best he could.”

He paused, then added, “Mr. Miller was a veteran. He was a Marine.”

Sean opened the lid of the green box, revealing a collection of papers, photographs, and letters. They were fragments of a life once lived.

“There’s family stuff here,” Sean said, gently rifling through the papers. “But there’s also this.” He pulled out a small box and carefully opened it, revealing a Military Silver Star. “He was in the Gulf War. He was a hero.”

Alex took a sharp breath. He fixed his eyes on the Silver Star. The room seemed to grow even quieter. Jordan grabbed Alex’s hand and held it.

“Besides the heart medications, there were also meds for PTSD,” Sean added, his voice soft. “It looks like he might have struggled to get the help he needed, choosing isolation instead. Based on what you told me about his daughter, he most likely pushed her away to protect her. It’s what a lot of vets with trauma do, in my experience. They don’t want to hurt others, so they push everyone away.”

“We couldn’t find a phone in his name and have no way to call his daughter,” Sean said, looking at Alex and Jordan. “I told the state police you had her number, and I’d call her. But if you’d like to...”

Jordan interjected gently. “Can we call her? We’ve spoken to her several times since Shadow got injured. We want to let her know.”

Sean nodded. “Yes, that would be good. She should hear it from someone who’s been part of this.” He handed the box to Alex. “I’ll leave this all here with you. We can figure out how to send it to her or see if she wants to come out and claim the body.”

As Sean and Lisa left the room, Alex remained seated, the Silver Star still in his hand. His gaze was distant. Jordan stayed close, offering silent support. In the clinic's quiet exam room, Alex and Jordan dialed Stephanie Miller’s number.

The phone rang, each tone echoing in the still room. When Stephanie answered, her voice was tentative. “Hello?”

“Hi Stephanie, it’s Jordan and Alex from Pawsitive Vibes,” Jordan said, his tone gentle.

“Oh, hi! How are you? And how’s Shadow? Is he okay?” Her questions tumbled out.

Alex and Jordan exchanged a glance, then Alex replied, “Shadow’s doing okay. He’s here with us at the clinic, resting. He’s been through a lot, but he’s strong.”

There was a pause. “That’s good to hear. Do you think he can still work as a service dog? Have you found someone that he can work with who needs him?”

Her questions hung in the air, but Alex and Jordan knew they had more pressing news to share. Alex took a deep breath, ready to deliver the tough news.

“Stephanie, we have something important to tell you,” Alex began. His voice was steady yet filled with empathy. “We found your father’s cabin in the woods.”

Stephanie’s response was a sharp intake of breath. “My father? What about him?”

Alex continued, his words careful and compassionate. “We’re very sorry to say this, but your father passed away. We don’t know all the details yet, but the police think it was because of natural causes.”

The line was quiet, except for Stephanie’s breathing softly.

Jordan reached out and placed a hand on Alex’s arm in support.

“We’re so sorry, Stephanie,” Jordan added. “We wanted to make sure you knew, and are here for you in any way you need.”

When Stephanie spoke again, sorrow laced her voice. “Thank you for telling me. I... I don’t know what to say.”

Alex’s response was gentle. “It’s okay not to know what to say. Just know that we’re here for you. And Shadow is safe with us. He was incredible in helping us find your father.”

In the softly lit office, Alex and Jordan sat close together. Alex asked, “Stephanie, would you like to come out here to sort out your father’s burial and collect his items?”

There was a noticeable pause on the line. Stephanie’s voice, when it returned, carried a hint of awkward hesitation. “I... I can’t right now. I’m currently looking for a job. I don’t have the funds for a trip like that.”

Alex’s response was immediate. “No worries, Stephanie. If you want to come out, I’ll buy you a plane ticket and arrange a place to stay while you’re here. We want to make this as easy for you as possible.”

Jordan’s admiration for Alex was evident in his gaze. He watched as Alex navigated the conversation with empathy and generosity.

Stephanie’s voice trembled. “That’s incredibly kind of you, Alex. I... I’d appreciate that, but I can’t accept that. I couldn’t pay you back anytime soon. Thank you for the offer, though.”

“Okay, think of it this way—we have a buyer for Shadow. Let’s use that money to get you a plane ticket. We’ll make it part of the sale, so you can be here to sign over the ownership papers,” Alex replied. “We’ll take care of everything and make all the arrangements.”

Stephanie was speechless, “Okay… I guess that would work.”

Jordan chimed in, his voice supportive. “And a man, Captain Sean Montgomery, will call you later today to discuss some official details. He was the first responder on the scene who found your father and allowed us to call you since we knew you already. He’s been helping us a lot with Shadow and your father.”

Stephanie’s response was soft. “I’ll be waiting for his call. I don’t know what to say. Thank you, both of you, for everything.” She began to cry, the somberness of the moment was hard on all of them.

“Are you going to be okay?  Is anyone there with you?” Alex asked.

Stephanie replied, “Yes, I’m with a friend right now, she is here listening. I’ll talk to you both later.”

The silence of the line disconnecting was disconcerting.

They put the phone down and sat together, processing the conversation. Alex broke the silence. “Well, that was harder than fuck!”

Jordan smiled at the statement. “We make a good team, so when things are difficult, we just use four shoulders instead of two.”

“You’re right, we make a great team,” Alex agreed. “And I like that—using four shoulders instead of two. Makes the burdens a lot lighter to carry.”

Jordan reached out, his hand finding Alex’s, their fingers intertwining naturally. “You know, in all this craziness, I’m just happy we have each other,” he said, his gaze locked with Alex’s.

“And I’m grateful for everyday with you, and now with Shadow, too,” Alex responded. He gently squeezed Jordan’s hand. “No matter what comes our way, we’ve got this. Together.”

Chapter 31

Alex

Five days later, Alex leaned against the counter in the clinic’s break room before the clinic opened. Jordan was next to Alex. Lisa and Sean were there, too, taking a brief respite from each of their duties.

“So, we’ve worked out all the details for Stephanie’s arrival,” Alex began. “She’s flying from Chicago to Medford this afternoon. I’ve arranged a rental car for her to drive down to Brookings.”

Sean nodded in approval. “That’s good thinking, Alex. It’ll give her some independence while she’s here.”

Lisa, who was sipping her tea, looked thoughtful. “And where will she be staying?” she inquired.

Alex took a sip of his protein shake before responding. “She’ll stay at my place for the next couple of days. It makes sense, given I’m usually at Jordan’s all the time now. Dealing with the loss of a parent is never easy, and then having to sort through their belongings... it’s a lot. So, if we can make her comfortable while she’s here, that would be great.”

“She seems nice,” Sean said. “I’m working with Jason over at Stillhouse Funeral Home because she asked for us to cremate her father. The medical examiner released the body today, and I took the paperwork over that she emailed me.”

Lisa put her hand on Sean’s arm, looking at Alex and Jordan. “He’s a keeper!” They all laughed.

The late afternoon sun cast a warm, inviting glow over the clinic. Stephanie’s rental car pulled into the parking lot. Alex and Jordan had been anxiously awaiting her arrival. They stood up from the bench where they had been sitting.

As Stephanie stepped out of the car, there was a moment of hesitation before she walked toward them. Alex and Jordan approached her, their smiles welcoming and sincere.

“Stephanie, it’s so good to meet you in person,” Alex said, extending his hand. “I hope you had a pleasant trip, and the drive wasn’t too much.”

Stephanie replied, “It’s been a long day, and my emotions are all over the place. I laugh one minute and cry another. Dad’s death is hitting me harder than I thought it would.”

Jordan offered a gentle, reassuring smile. “We’re here for you, Stephanie. Anything you need.”

Stephanie shook their hands. “Thank you both so much for flying me out here. It means a lot.”

Before they could respond, a familiar bark sounded from inside the clinic. Shadow had gotten up from his spot. Rebecca stood in the doorway, watching. The dog bounded toward Stephanie with a joyous energy, despite his recent injuries.

The reunion between Stephanie and Shadow was heartwarming. Shadow whined and wagged his tail vigorously, nuzzling against her affectionately. Stephanie knelt, her arms enveloping the dog in a loving embrace.

“Oh, Shadow, how are you, sweetie?” she murmured, her voice choked with emotion. Alex and Jordan watched the scene, joy in their hearts.

As they all moved into the clinic, Stephanie spoke about her trip. “The flight was fine, and the drive gave me time to think. I can’t thank you both enough for making this happen.”

Alex and Jordan listened, offering words of comfort and reassurance. The conversation flowed naturally. Alex and Jordan showed Stephanie around the clinic. They discussed the next steps for Shadow’s continued care. Now and then, she spoke of her father. Throughout it all, Shadow stayed close to Stephanie. His presence was a source of comfort and familiarity for her.

As the afternoon turned into early evening, Alex noticed Stephanie looked tired. Sensing it was time for her to rest, he handed her the keys to his house. “Here, make yourself at home while you are here,” he said kindly.

Stephanie input the address into her phone’s maps app and noted it was only a ten-minute drive. Ever considerate, Alex offered, “Would you like Jordan and me to drive you there?”

Her response came with a grateful smile. “You’ve both done more than enough already. I’ll manage, but thank you,” Stephanie assured him.

As she prepared to leave, Stephanie paused, turning to Alex. “I’m meeting with Sean tomorrow to speak with the funeral director. Then we’ll go through my dad’s items at the fire station. I hesitated to want to come here, but I’m glad I did."

In response, Alex suggested, “How about we catch up for a late lunch or early dinner after you’re done tomorrow?”

“That sounds lovely,” Stephanie agreed, a small but genuine smile crossing her face. “I’d like that very much.”

Jordan, Alex, and Lisa gathered by the clinic’s door as Stephanie approached her car. The trio watched as she drove off.

Lisa broke the silence first. “She’s very nice, isn’t she?”

Jordan nodded in agreement. “I like her. There’s a kindness about her that’s genuine.”

Alex chuckled. “Jordan, you like everyone. You’re easy to please.”

Their laughter mingled in the cooling air.

The next day, Jordan noticed Alex was squirming in the breakroom seat of the clinic. Concerned, he asked, “Are your stitches bothering you?”

“No, dork, my ass hurts from you stretching it this morning with that dildo. If this is what it feels like with a dildo half your size, I may have to reconsider bottoming,” Alex replied.

Jordan, with an evil and loving smirk on his face, said, “I can’t wait for the first morning after l let loose on your ass. You know how my blowjobs are slow and tender, easing you into your orgasm? And when I face fuck you, I’m rougher and more demanding? Well, imagine the combination of those two—that is how I’m going to fuck you.”

Alex’s mouth dropped open. “I thought we talked about making love, not pile-driving me into the New Year. Yep, rethinking this.”

Lisa walked nearby. “Rethinking what?”

Alex turned all shades of red, and Jordan smiled. They didn’t exchange any words.

Lisa caught on to the gist of the conversation. “Oh lord, get your butts in exam room three. Don’t bring this sexual tension into our breakroom. Some things must remain sacred.”

They all laughed. Alex reached into his bag and withdrew something. He handed it to her.

“Beef stick?” he asked.

Everyone laughed, and she got up to head back to work. “You wait until I tell Sean that your man is offering me his beef stick, Jordan.”

Jordan and Alex shared a tender moment, quietly staring into each other’s eyes. Then Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat again, and Jordan laughed.

The dinner setting was warm and inviting, a large table set for six at a cozy local restaurant. Alex, Jordan, Stephanie, Sean, Lisa, and Aunt Lynn were together. Soft glowing overhead lights added to the homey ambiance. The gentle hum of conversation from other diners added to it, too.

As they settled into their seats, the conversation naturally gravitated toward Shadow’s recovery. They also discussed life in Brookings, Chicago, and Stephanie’s dad. Stephanie expressed her gratitude for the care Shadow had received. Her eyes lingered on Alex and Jordan with sincere thankfulness. The dinner continued with discussions about plans for the following day. They also arranged to meet to sort through Mr. Miller’s affairs.

As the meal ended, the group agreed to reconvene the next day, ready to tackle the challenges ahead. The farewells were warm. People promised to stay in touch and continue supporting each other.

After arriving home from dinner, Alex felt the familiar comfort of his surroundings. Not wanting to worry Aunt Lynn, he promptly called to let her know he had arrived safely.

Aunt Lynn answered after the first ring. Her voice was warm, but with a seriousness that caught Alex’s attention. “I’m glad you’re home safe, Alex,” she began. “There’s something I want to discuss with you about Stephanie.”

Sensing the gravity in her tone, Alex sat down, focusing on the conversation. “What is it, Aunt Lynn?” he asked.

Aunt Lynn sighed softly. “It’s just intuition, but I’ve seen enough in my life to recognize certain signs,” she said carefully. “I think Stephanie might deal with abuse. She said nothing explicitly, but there were hints in her behavior and how she reacted to things.”

Alex felt a weight settle in his stomach, the revelation bringing a new level of concern. “Do you think we should talk to her about it?” he asked, his mind racing with possibilities.

“I think we need to be careful,” Aunt Lynn advised. “We don’t want to make her feel cornered or accused. Just monitor her, be there for her. If she feels safe and ready, she might open up.”

Alex nodded, even though Aunt Lynn couldn’t see him. “Thank you for telling me. We’ll be mindful and supportive.”

After ending the call, Alex found Jordan in the living room, winding down for the night. He relayed Aunt Lynn’s concerns about Stephanie, watching Jordan’s expression turn thoughtful.

“That’s serious,” Jordan said, his brow furrowed. “If there is something to this, we need to make sure she knows she’s not alone. We can help her find the right support if she needs it.”

They lingered on the topic, discussing the best ways to provide a supportive environment for Stephanie without overstepping. Eventually, they made their way to bed.

As they drifted off to sleep in the night's quiet, Alex bellowed, “My ass still hurts!”

Even without hearing aids, Jordan heard his muffled words and smiled.

The next day at the clinic, Alex, Jordan, and Stephanie gathered in a quiet corner away from the usual bustle. Stephanie opened up about her father, her voice full of nostalgia and pain.

“We were so close when I was growing up,” she started, her eyes distant, as if visualizing her childhood. “But everything changed when he left for the Gulf. After his second tour, he wasn’t the same. He was distant, angry, and he started drinking a lot.”

As she spoke, Alex listened intently. Jordan, too, was fully engaged, his body language supportive and encouraging.

“Back then, PTSD wasn’t understood. There were very few treatment options available. It was tough watching him struggle and seeing him change,” Stephanie continued. Her voice cracked slightly. “I couldn’t help my daddy.”

She described the heartache of witnessing her father’s PTSD episodes. She described the panic attacks that would grip him unexpectedly.

“It made me feel so helpless,” she admitted, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I didn’t know how to reach him or bring back the dad I knew and loved.”

As Stephanie shared her experiences, Alex was pierced by her words. They resonated with him, echoing his journey. He realized that, like Stephanie’s father, he had initially ignored treatment. He believed he could handle his PTSD on his own. Jordan reached out, placing a comforting hand on Stephanie’s back.

The atmosphere was thick with emotion. Alex turned to Stephanie. “I’m so sorry that you went through this with your dad,” he began, his words deliberate and sincere. “Isolating is something I used to do a lot, too. In fact, for the last few years, I’ve been a lot like your dad, trying to push through the pain. It cost me some friendships.”

Stephanie’s eyes met Alex’s. She nodded slowly.

Alex continued. “Aunt Lynn is as stubborn as I am. I’m a little afraid of her,” he said with a faint smile, trying to lighten the mood. “She saw I was hitting rock bottom and had me move here. I mostly hated the idea of moving somewhere new, but I agreed when a nurse at the VA told me that she is throwing me a life preserver and I would be a dumbass for not taking it.”

Sitting beside Alex, Jordan placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.

“Then, once here, Shadow changed my life,” Alex said, his gaze drifting to the dog who lay quietly nearby. “Because of him, I met Jordan and all the wonderful people here and built connections. My life has transformed over the last few months since I moved here.”

Stephanie listened, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The parallels between her father’s struggles and Alex’s journey were striking. Yet Alex’s story showed a glimmer of hope.

“I know this is little solace,” Alex added softly, “but you brought Shadow into your dad’s life to save him. Shadow is so amazing, Stephanie, and I need you to know he saved me. I can never thank you enough for what you’ve done, for the enormous impact you’ve had on my life.”

The emotion in the room was palpable as all three teared up. Stephanie’s lips quivered as she absorbed Alex’s words. Jordan squeezed Alex’s shoulder. Stephanie reached across the table, finding Alex’s hand.

“Stephanie, are you okay? Are you safe? You mentioned your circumstances changed recently?” Alex asked gently.

Stephanie’s initial response was a brave front, her face a mask of composure. But as the seconds ticked by, the facade crumbled. “As a military brat, I ended up marrying a Marine, too,” she started, her voice wavering slightly. “We were married for twelve years, and toward the end, it got rough... it got violent.”

Alex and Jordan exchanged glances. Jordan reached across the table, offering a supportive touch.

“He did his best to beat me down,” Stephanie continued. “But I got away, and a few months ago, I completed the divorce.” Her voice had a hint of pride despite the pain that lingered in her eyes.

“He gambled away all our savings. Right now, I’m couch surfing with friends, looking for a job,” she added with determination. “I used to be an office manager at an accounting firm, but I had to leave because I was missing so much work... because of him.” She sounded like someone who believed she was on the right track to recovery.

Alex and Jordan listened intently. When she finished, Alex spoke. “Stephanie, if you ever need anything, like a place to stay or someone to talk to, please know that we’re here for you."

Jordan nodded in agreement. “We’ve got shoulders you can lean on,” he added. “You’re not alone in this.”

Stephanie looked at them, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Thank you,” she whispered. “That means a lot to me.”

The next day, the clinic arranged its main conference room for a somber meeting. Sean led. Stephanie, Aunt Lynn, Lisa, Alex, and Jordan gathered around the table. Everyone prepared themselves for the finality of the shared news.

Sean began the meeting. “The official cause of death was a heart attack,” he confirmed, his voice steady. “I spoke with the funeral home. The ashes will be ready for you to take back home with you tomorrow, Stephanie.”

Stephanie nodded. Sean’s straightforward approach provided a sense of closure, albeit painful.

“We went through the boxes that the state police gathered from the cabin,” Sean continued. “Stephanie, you’ve kept all that you wanted to, correct?”

“Yes, I have,” Stephanie replied, her voice soft.

The room was heavy with emotion. Stephanie dealt with the last aspects of her father’s affairs. Then she turned to Alex, a small box in her hands.

“He kept this,” she said, opening the box to reveal a Silver Star medal. “I don’t understand why. I saw him destroy everything else in a fit of rage one night. It was horrible.” The room fell silent, the weight of her words sinking in.

Stephanie continued, her voice cracking with emotion. “This medal symbolizes how heroic my dad was,” she said. “But to me, it’s a constant reminder of how I lost him years ago. Will you keep this safe for him? For the man he once was?”

Alex’s eyes filled with tears as he took the box from her hands. “Of course I will,” he said, his voice shaking. “I’ll honor his memory as a father and a soldier.”

He stood up and embraced Stephanie, offering comfort in the shared sorrow. The others around the table watched respectfully. As the meeting ended, there was a sense of collective support for Stephanie.

Holding the box with the Silver Star, Alex felt a profound responsibility. He knew he wasn’t just holding onto a piece of history in keeping this medal. He was also preserving the memory of a man who had suffered.

“Lisa and Linda helped me sort through everything,” Stephanie shared. “They found some paperwork about my dad’s life insurance through the VA. He continued making payments to keep it active.” She paused. “He left it to me, so it looks like I’m going to get my fresh start. Get on solid footing again. Knowing the VA, it might take a while,” she added with a small smile. “But once it comes through, I’ll finally be able to get a place to live.”

At this moment, Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out a cashier’s check. He extended it toward Stephanie. “Well, here are the proceeds from the sale of Shadow, twenty-five thousand dollars.” he said.

He also presented some paperwork. Stephanie took it. Her eyes widened in realization as she saw Alex’s name as the buyer. A look of happiness crossed her face.

As she held the check, Stephanie turned to Jordan.

“I’ll sign this over to the clinic for the medical bills,” she said.

Before Jordan could respond, Aunt Lynn chimed in, her voice filled with kindness. “Our law firm has handled all Shadow’s medical bills. We have a fund for giving back to the community, and we wanted to cover the expenses in your father’s name. Shadow and he were together for over two years, and I believe Shadow took good care of your dad. In this way, we honor your father’s memory.”

The room was silent momentarily, absorbing Aunt Lynn’s generous gesture. Alex said, “This check is for you, Stephanie. For the fresh start you need immediately.”

The impact of these acts of kindness was visible on Stephanie’s face. Her eyes brimmed with tears. She stood up and hugged everyone in the room, one by one. Each embrace was a wordless thank you. Alex, Jordan, Aunt Lynn, Lisa, and Sean each returned her hugs.

Aunt Lynn spoke up, intensifying the atmosphere with an unexpected announcement.

“That’s not all, Stephanie,” she said, her eyes twinkling with excitement. “I reached out to a friend who owns a law firm in Chicago. They have an open office manager’s position. If you’re interested, I can arrange an interview for you.”

Stephanie’s reaction was immediate and overwhelming. Her eyes widened in disbelief. Then Aunt Lynn’s words sank in. Tears streamed down her face. She covered her mouth with her hand.

Aunt Lynn and Alex quickly moved to comfort her. Their arms wrapped around her in a supportive embrace. 

“It’s too much... I can’t believe this,” Stephanie said between sobs. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Aunt Lynn held Stephanie close, her voice gentle and reassuring. “Honey, don’t you see? Even though your dad is gone, he’s still looking out for you. After he passed, your daddy sent Shadow to Alex. From there, everything skyrocketed into a lot of good happening for good people.”

Stephanie looked up, her tear-stained face a picture of mixed sorrow and hope.

“Your dad is your guardian angel, honey,” Aunt Lynn continued, her voice warm and firm. “What he couldn’t do physically and emotionally, he’s doing spiritually. Take strength from that.”

Alex stood beside them, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

The next day, all of them gathered once again outside the clinic. Shadow sat at Stephanie’s side. It was time for Stephanie to say her goodbyes. She packed her car, ready to return to a new chapter in her life. Alex, Jordan, and Aunt Lynn stood nearby. Each wore mixed expressions of sadness and hope.

Stephanie turned to them, her eyes glistening. “I can’t thank you all enough,” she said. “You’ve all been so incredible. I promise to stay in touch.”

Alex stepped forward, offering her a warm, reassuring hug. “We’ll be here, Stephanie. Anytime you need anything, reach out,” he said.

Stephanie bent down and hugged Shadow. “Thank you for caring for Daddy when I couldn’t.” With tears streaming down her face, she embraced the loving dog tightly and stood.

Jordan echoed the sentiment, his hand resting on her shoulder momentarily. “We’re just a call or an email away. Don’t be a stranger.”

Aunt Lynn smiled warmly at Stephanie. “And remember, we scheduled your interview for next Monday. I’ll email you all the details,” she said. “Don’t worry—my recommendation carries a lot of weight.”

Stephanie nodded, a small smile breaking through her tears. “I’ll never forget what you’ve all done for me. Thank you sincerely.”

As Stephanie got into her car, Alex took a deep breath, excited that she was ready to face the road ahead.

Sean and Lisa offered Aunt Lynn a ride home. She gathered Alex and Jordan in one big group hug. “I am so proud of you both. I’m so proud of the men that you both have become.”

Jordan laughed. “We’re a work in progress, Linda.”

Alex kissed her on the cheek. “Call me when you get home.”

Chapter 32

Jordan

They returned to Alex's house that night after Stephanie left. Alex went to grab some laundry. They stayed the night to enjoy the sunset in the hot tub. The location of Alex's backyard afforded them a great deal of privacy, so Jordan was okay with entering the hot tub without a swimsuit. He marveled at how comfortable his caveman was running around naked all the time.

Jordan laid back, relaxed, and waited for Alex. When Alex entered the hot tub naked, he was fully erect and handed Jordan a bottle of lube. Jordan looked at him quizzically.

"Are you sure about this?" Jordan asked as he took the bottle. 

Alex replied, "Yep, tonight is the night. Pop my cherry, stud!"

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Really, when you're about to drop one of those zingers, do you give yourself a mental high-five? Do they crack you up in there?" He taps his temple, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Oh, absolutely," Alex replied with a straight face. "In my platoon, I was a legend. They called me 'the Chaplin of the Barracks' –- you know, for my unparalleled comedic genius."

Jordan raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. "Is that so?" he asked, the amusement clear in his voice.

"Brian and I used to drive everyone crazy. Our practical jokes usually got us in trouble because we sucked at not taking credit for it. We did the work. We wanted the credit. I wish he could have met you, Jordan. He told me that one day I was going to meet you. He said that he had a dream about you once. That you had a big, goofy smile and innocent eyes. He also said you would hate wearing shirts and had yellow Crocs. It took me three months to figure out he was describing Mickey Mouse." Alex looked serene for a moment. "I was his best friend. He would have loved you."

Jordan mocked, "He sounds amazing. What you’re saying is that he was the funny one?" Alex laughed.

Alex grabbed Jordan, dunked him under the water, and jumped over him. They both rose, laughing and enjoying being with each other in the moment. The world was lighter tonight. Alex now officially owned Shadow. They helped Stephanie so that she could get back on her feet. It had been a very emotional week—now, they were the happiest they had been in a long time. 

Jordan grabbed the lube floating in the water. "This is a big deal, babe. No pressure if you need more time."

Alex replied, "No fucking way!"

Alex stood out of the water so that his erection was at Jordan's eye level. "This will not go away because I keep thinking about it. I'm ready."

The previous Sunday, Jordan thought he could never love Alex more than he did that day. The day before, he felt like his heart would burst out of his chest because his love grew even more. Today, his love for him was even more potent than yesterday. This man was powerful, sexy, and ready to give himself to Jordan like he never had to anyone else. Jordan was so grateful to him.

Preparing Alex for this special moment was intoxicating. Every time he hit one of Alex's secret pleasure spots, Alex moaned loudly. He knew his moans would get even louder as the evening progressed. 

Jordan convinced him to move inside. The goal was to prevent Linda's boss from getting a noise complaint. Jordan didn't mind scaring the wildlife around the cabin with their lovemaking noises. However, Mrs. Timmerson, a client at the clinic, lived next door, and her patio light was on. Jordan didn’t want to upset her or her Pomeranian, Miss Fifi LeJuer.

Alex laid naked on the bed, face up. His arms stretched out to his sides as he gripped the mattress edges in anticipation. He was fully exposed.

In the dim bedroom light, Jordan stood silently over him. Gazing down at Alex, he stopped to savor the moment. The gentle rise and fall of Alex's hairy chest with each breath was a comforting rhythm in the quiet room. Jordan's eyes traced the contours of Alex's body in anticipation. He noted the scars that marked his skin, subtle reminders of his battles.

The sight of Alex so relaxed and unguarded stirred a deep emotion in Jordan. He felt a surge of protectiveness and an overwhelming sense of love. Alex, with all his complexities and layers, had become the most important person in his life. He was a blessing, a source of light in Jordan's world.

As he watched, Alex reached down and massaged his abdomen. His hands went to his thighs and back up to his chest. He looked into Jordan's eyes and gave a low moan of anticipation.

His love for Alex was a living, breathing entity in the room. Jordan's eyes lingered over Alex's movements, memorizing every detail. He was committing this moment to memory, this moment of peaceful simplicity.

Jordan climbed onto the bed. He put his hand on Alex's inner thigh. Alex spread his legs as soon as he did, inviting Jordan into his space. Jordan made a silent promise always to protect, cherish, and love this man with all he had. Jordan's gentle hands glided over Alex's skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps.

In the quiet sanctity of Alex's bedroom, Jordan made love to Alex for the first time. Jordan felt as if their souls were gently entwining.

As they drew closer, Jordan was acutely aware of every sensation. He noticed every shared breath and every beat of Alex's heart against his. There was a sense of awe in Jordan, a reverence for the trust and love that had brought them to this moment.

In Alex's embrace, Jordan found a haven. There, the noise of the world fell away, leaving only the purity of their connection. Jordan felt anchored, yet free—it was a paradox that only made sense in the gravity of Alex's presence. Jordan felt a sense of completeness as he found his missing piece in Alex. It was the perfect convergence of two hearts and souls. And as they moved in harmony, Jordan realized that this was just the beginning.

In the quiet afterglow, he laid there with Alex. Jordan was intensely aware of Alex lying next to him. Both were dripping in sweat, both spent from having climaxed at the same time. The room was silent. Jordan turned, and they stared into each other's eyes, saying nothing. Alex rolled to his side and placed his head on top of Jordan's chest. Jordan moved his arms and embraced him, kissing the top if his head.

Alex gently massaged Jordan's stomach. He was the first to break the silence.

"I don't know how to describe my feelings right now. Over the last few weeks, I have built this up in my mind. I thought it would be painful. It was gentle. I thought it would be primal. It was spiritual. I thought we were going to make love. It was... more." 

Physically, the experience manifested in ways Jordan hadn't expected. Alex's body was usually tense and on alert. It relaxed completely, each muscle releasing its hold. He felt a warmth of energy spreading from the center of his chest, radiating outward like a gentle wave. Jordan laid there with a smile on his face, holding Alex tightly as they both drifted into slumber.

Jordan awoke in the morning to the soft sound of the ocean waves in the distance. Alex still had his head on Jordan's chest. They hadn't moved or shifted since Alex spoke those fantastic words. He’d slept with his hearing aids in. Never having done that before, he realized that he woke up to the sound of the waves. His eyes swelled with unshed tears, and he realized how beautiful this moment was. He took a moment to appreciate the morning's peace after such a fantastic night.

Kissing the top of Alex's head and massaging his shoulders made Alex stir. His large, muscular frame enveloped Jordan in the bed. Alex's natural body temperature ran hot. That morning, he felt terrific in Jordan's arms.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Jordan said.

Alex turned to look up at Jordan so that he could see his lips. "Good morning."

"How did you sleep?"

"The best I have in years. I dreamt of us." Looking perplexed, he continued. "You slept with your hearing aids in?"

Jordan nodded. "Yeah, once we got done, we passed out. I forgot to take them out. When I woke up, I heard the ocean. It's the first time that has ever happened to me before. It was beautiful."

Alex squeezed his hold on Jordan in a gentle embrace.

"I think we have begun a journey where there will be many firsts from now on." His hardness poked Jordan in the leg. "Last night was incredible. I’m still trying to process it all. My ass hurts like crazy right now."

Jordan smiled and rubbed his shoulder. "You were incredible. I knew it would be good, but I didn’t know it would be so damn incredible and natural. Does that make sense?"

"You're telling me!” Alex said. “As we walked back to the bed, I felt a little insecure about being able to do this. I worried I couldn't take you inside of me and that, with my stitches still in, it would be awkward. But you were so gentle, and we just fit. I've let no one do that to me before, and you are so damn endowed. But when you were inside me, it was like a missing piece that fit perfectly. I've never had a prostate orgasm before either, and holy shit, was that an amazing first."

“When I noticed you were not even touching yourself and shot all over us, everything went still for a moment, like I had an out-of-body experience," Jordan said humorously.

"I felt you come inside of me. It was the weirdest sensation. The best part was laying there with you afterward, and you didn't pull out. You just stayed in me as we caught our breaths, talked, and kissed. When you started getting hard again. You started growing inside me before round two—that feeling was intense. I'm never going to forget that.”

They continued to lie there, laughing and enjoying each other emotionally and physically. Alex was so light, so funny. He went into very graphic detail, recapping all that they had done. It was like he was sitting in a room bragging to his buddies that he got fucked last night. Jordan kept smiling as he thought, I know I was there, but he didn't have the heart to make him stop recounting the tale. It was an excitement and happiness that he relished. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life making Alex that happy. 

Stephanie had departed five days before. Since then, their days had settled into a comfortable and fulfilling routine. They had made love every night since their first night. Each time, they left each other in complete awe.

Alex continued his weekly sessions with Dr. Martin and seemed more at ease. He began sharing insights from his therapy with Jordan. He opened up about his thoughts and feelings, which he had never done before. 

Alex’s hip had healed up. Dr. McDaniel removed the stitches. His personal interest in giving Alex his rabies shots himself was not annoying to Jordan at all. Seriously, not annoying at all!

After the third injection, Alex had some muscle aches and headaches for a few days. But he recovered quickly.

One quiet Saturday morning, Alex woke up with a gentle nudge. They dressed and got ready for their morning run. As they ran, Jordan felt a sense of contentment. He started wearing his hearing aids most of the day now. He found peace in the sounds that once overwhelmed him. The waves crashed against the shore. Alex breathed steadily beside him. Every noise contributed to a newfound appreciation for the world around him.

The last few weeks had been transformative for both of them. Where Jordan used to be more of a recluse, he now enjoyed the company of others. Alex had brought out a side of him he hadn't known existed. Together, they had built a life filled with friends, laughter, and love.

Even the nightmares, which used to plague Alex, had become less frequent. Jordan recalled the last time Alex had one. Shadow had been by his side instantly, his presence a calming force.

Sitting on the cabin porch with a cup of coffee, Jordan watched the sunrise, with Shadow lying at his feet. Alex joined him on the porch, naked after his shower. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and Jordan leaned into the embrace.

"I love our new life," he said, feeling Alex squeeze him in agreement.

A fresh coffee aroma filled the air, along with the quiet contentment of a peaceful morning. Alex sat down in his favorite chair and glanced at Jordan.

"So, what do you have planned for today?" he asked.

Jordan took a sip of his coffee before replying. "I'm heading over to Rebecca's place to meet her son. He's visiting for the weekend," he explained. The corners of his mouth turned slightly into a smile at the thought. "I'll hang out there for a few hours and then swing by the clinic to pick up my laptop. I left it in my office yesterday."

Alex nodded. "Sounds like fun. And I guess I'm on painting duty at Aunt Lynn's, huh?" he said with a playful groan. "You're lucky you got out of painting. Although, I’ve never heard of a paint allergy before. Should I Google it?"

Jordan laughed, a light sound that filled the deck. "Trust no medical advice for dogs or humans from Dr. Google," he joked. "Besides, you need some alone time with Linda. I’ve been hogging you all to myself lately, and I think she's getting jealous."

Alex stood up, gathering the empty coffee mugs. "Sounds like a plan. And how about we go out for dinner tonight? Sushi sound good?" he proposed.

Jordan's eyes lit up at the mention of sushi. "Sushi sounds perfect. Let's do it," he agreed.

Alex finished getting ready and grabbed his keys. He headed to the door, followed by Shadow, turning to give Jordan a quick, affectionate kiss. "See you tonight. Enjoy your time with Rebecca."

Jordan smiled. "You, too. And try not to inhale too much paint," he teased, his eyes sparkling with humor.

Later that afternoon, Jordan sat on Rebecca's deck. He had just finished an inspiring conversation with her son, Peter. Peter was in his first year of college. They had talked about a career in veterinary medicine. Peter's enthusiasm and curiosity reminded Jordan of his early days.

Sitting across from him, Rebecca sipped her tea, a contented smile on her face.

"Peter looks up to you, you know,” she said. “He’s loved animals since he was a kid. He hasn’t stopped talking about wanting to be a vet since he helped us open the clinic."

"He's a great kid, Becs. He’s got a bright future ahead of him."

He paused, feeling the sudden urge to share with Rebecca.

"You know, ever since I was a kid, I hated being different," he confessed. "I've been angry, Becs. Angry at the world, myself, and even my hearing aids. I always thought they made me weak," he continued, his gaze drifting into the distance.

He smiled faintly. "Ever since I met Alex, I’ve started seeing things differently. With his PTSD, I’ve seen how strong I am—both mentally and physically. And he’s brought out a strength I never knew I had. I hold him down during his episodes to keep him from getting hurt. I’ve learned that listening is a strength and is just as important when helping someone. He’s taught me a lot about myself in such a short time.”

He paused again, collecting his thoughts. "I like who I am with him, Becs. I used to be okay just being in my head, tuning out the world. But with Alex, I want to keep my 'ear plungers' in all the time. I want to hear his voice, his laughter, his moans, and even those damn farts."

Rebecca reached across, placing a comforting hand on his. "Jordan, you've never been weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. You just never realized how strong you were until you needed to be strong for someone else."

"And it's not just about hearing Alex," Jordan added. "It's about hearing the world around me –- the wind, the birds, the waves crashing against the rocks. Did you know waves sound different at low tide than high tide? I just learned that. Hearing all these different things makes me happy. I realized none of this before Alex. He gifted the noises of the world to me. I realized my hearing isn’t a disability, it’s a part of me. A part that makes me special, a better listener.”

Rebecca nodded, her eyes glistening with tears. "I'm so proud of you, Jordan. You’ve come such a long way."

Jordan looked at her, a deep sense of gratitude in his heart. "And I have you to thank for that. You gave me the courage to realize and accept everything that I am."

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Thank you, Becs," Jordan said softly. "For everything."

Rebecca squeezed his hand gently. "You're always welcome, Jordan. You’re family to me. I just needed to help you get your head out of your ass so that you can see what I see. If you could see yourself through my eyes, you’d see how amazing you are."

She paused for a moment, then asked, "Where’s Buttercream today?"

Jordan laughed out loud at the nickname. It was what Rebecca called Alex at the clinic, referring to his nice butt. “He’s over at Linda’s painting the guest room. My ‘paint allergy’ got me out of it.”

Jordan returned home after the meaningful afternoon at Rebecca's. He found Alex waiting, naked as usual. After dropping several hints that he wanted a blowjob, Jordan obliged. They freshened up and headed out for a relaxed dinner at their favorite sushi spot. They enjoyed the meal with light conversation and laughter, a perfect way to unwind.

Back home, they settled into their living room for a chess game, a hobby they had recently taken up. The chessboard was set on a small table between them, the pieces arranged for battle. Sometimes, they could hear Shadow contentedly sighing from his nearby bed.

As they played, it was clear they were evenly matched. They deliberated each move. Jordan was the first to break the silence.

"Your turn." he prompted, his eyes not leaving the board.

At that comment, Alex lunged at Jordan and pulled his shorts down. He gave Jordan an incredible release with a blowjob that made his toes curl. Jordan, lying back, spent, smiled at Alex. 

Alex said, "Oh, you meant my turn with chess?" 

"No fair, I’m too relaxed now for battle. You tricked me,” Jordan replied. 

The game continued with playful banter. Laughter and light-hearted arguments over the rules interspersed each move.

Shadow stirred from his bed as the game neared its end, signaling it was time for his evening walk.

"Looks like our referee is calling time," Alex said, gesturing toward Shadow with a smile.

They paused the game. They ventured outside for a leisurely walk around the property under the starry sky. Shadow trotted alongside them, his injured paw much stronger now. The cool night air was refreshing. 

Returning to the cabin, they felt relaxed and content. They left the chess game unfinished, silently promising a rematch. 

"You know, I think we might need a chess rulebook to settle our future disputes," Jordan said with a chuckle as they prepared for bed.

Alex, already half under the covers, laughed. “Our relationship thrives on the fact that I’m always right.”

They settled into bed laughing, Shadow curling up at their feet. As they drifted to sleep, Jordan felt deeply grateful for his shared life with Alex.

The following morning, Jordan stirred. His eyes slowly focused on Alex. Alex was lying in the bed, propped up on pillows with his laptop. Shadow was sleeping peacefully at his side. Deep in concentration with his glasses on, Alex looked handsome. Jordan always thought there was something irresistibly attractive about Alex in his glasses.

"What are you doing up so early on our day off?" Jordan groaned playfully, still groggy from sleep.

Alex turned to Jordan. "Can I talk to you a moment?"

"Of course," Jordan replied, reaching over to grab his hearing aids from the nightstand. He sat up, propping a pillow behind his back to give Alex his attention.

A brief pause occurred before Alex blurted out excitedly, "I want to train service dogs!"

Jordan's eyes widened in surprise, but he couldn't help but smile at the joy radiating from Alex's face. "Shadow helped Sgt. Miller. He helps me. I want to make a difference to other people with PTSD, Jordan. If I can train service dogs to help them..."

Alex continued, outlining his plan with growing confidence. "My bachelor's degree is in kinesiology, so I understand movement. I can take some animal science and biology courses for physical training. There’s a specialized program I found with online and hands-on training. It means I’d have to travel, and we'd be apart for a month, but I know we can make it work. And I can work under other trainers as a mentorship."

He finished, looking at Jordan with a hopeful gaze. "What do you think?"

Jordan took a moment to process everything Alex had said.

"Alex," Jordan began, his voice warm and supportive. "I think it’s a fantastic idea. Shadow has made an incredible difference in our lives. Training service dogs to help others, especially those with PTSD, is something I know you’ll excel at."

Jordan reached for Alex’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And as for the traveling and time apart, don’t worry about that. We're strong, and our relationship can handle it. I'll be here to support you every step of the way, however I can. Whether it's helping you study, taking care of things at home, or just being your sounding board, I’m all in."

Alex’s face lit up with relief and happiness.

Jordan continued, "You’re going to make such a positive impact. And I’m proud of you for pursuing this. Shadow’s story is just the beginning. You’re going to help write many more like it."

Chapter 33

Alex

The screen came to life as Stephanie's smiling face appeared. It filled Alex and Jordan's living room with a sense of warmth and connection. Shadow curled up at their feet. They eagerly awaited the virtual tour of Stephanie's new apartment.

"Hey, you two!" Stephanie greeted them cheerfully. "Welcome to my new place!"

She turned her phone around, giving them a virtual tour. The apartment was cozy and well-lit. The tasteful decor of bright colors reflected Stephanie's personality. Jordan and Alex exchanged pleased glances, proud of how far she had come.

"It looks amazing, Steph!" Alex commented, impressed.

"Yeah, you've done a great job with the place," Jordan added, his smile wide.

Stephanie's face beamed with pride as she continued the tour. "Thanks, guys! And guess what? I started my new job at the law firm, thanks to Linda. Everyone there is so nice. It’s been such a warm welcome."

"That's so great to hear," Jordan said.

As they talked, Stephanie moved to a particular corner of her apartment. She received the flag at her father's memorial service. She displayed it prominently there. Her expression turned somber as she touched the flag gently.

"This means a lot to me," she whispered. "It's a reminder that my daddy did something great. I talk to him every day, we argue a lot, I miss him, but having this here... it feels like he’s still with me, watching over me, as Linda said."

Alex nodded. "It's a beautiful tribute, Steph. Your dad would be so proud of you."

"Yeah, he's definitely watching over you," Jordan added.

Stephanie smiled, a hint of tears in her eyes. "I feel like my old self again, thanks to all of you."

Stephanie's tone filled with gratitude and anticipation as the call neared its end. "I can’t wait to visit you guys. And say hi to everyone for me, okay?"

"We will, Steph. And we’re looking forward to seeing you, too," Alex assured her.

"Take care of yourself, talk to you soon," Jordan said, echoing Alex's sentiments.

"Will do. Bye, you guys!" Stephanie waved, ending the call with a bright smile.

Alex and Jordan sat back as the screen went dark.

"She's doing so well," Alex said, a note of pride in his voice.

"Yeah, she is," Jordan agreed.

The call with Stephanie had left Jordan and Alex in high spirits. But as the screen went dark, the focus shifted. Jordan turned to Alex.

"Are you all ready for tomorrow?" Jordan asked. Alex was giving a presentation the next day at Pacific Edge Legal Group. 

Alex nodded. "I think so. I’ve been working on this pitch for weeks now. It’s a big step, but I’m ready."

Jordan watched as Alex gathered his notes on the coffee table. The presentation was more than just a pitch—it culminated in Alex's passion and dreams. The plans to add a service dog training academy to the clinic's property were coming along well.

"Tell me about your plan again," Jordan said.

Alex took a deep breath and began, his voice steady and confident. “My presentation focuses on the benefits of a service dog training program, it will assist individuals with PTSD and other needs. Based on my background and experience, I want to lead the program. I’ll need support and funding from the board at Pacific Edge to get it off the ground."

He shuffled through his notes, pointing out key elements. "I'll start by discussing the impact service dogs have on individuals with PTSD. I’ll use Shadow as a case study, discussing his journey and how he’s helped me personally. Then, I’ll lead into other areas of who service dogs can help. I’ll end with law enforcement K-9 unit training possibilities in the future."

Jordan nodded, listening intently. "That’s a good angle. Personal stories always make a powerful impact."

"Then I’ll go into the business plan," Alex continued. “I’ve outlined the costs for setting up the training facility. It includes the space requirements, equipment, and staff. I have a write-up about how this program will align with the goals of the nonprofit. I've also prepared a projected timeline and the potential return on investment. It highlights how the program can benefit not just individuals, but the community."

"And the funding part?" Jordan asked.

"I’ve worked out a detailed budget," Alex replied. “I’ll propose a partnership model where Pacific Edge provides initial funding. We supplement that funding with grants and donations. I've identified several grants we can apply for. They support mental health and service animal programs.”

Jordan smiled, impressed. "Sounds like you’ve covered everything. They’d be foolish not to back this."

Alex’s face lit up with a mix of nervousness and excitement. "I hope so. This means a lot to me, Jordan. It’s not just about training dogs, it’s about giving back and helping others struggling like I was. I know I have a long way to go, and this program will help me heal and help others."

Jordan reached over, squeezing Alex’s hand reassuringly. "You’re going to do great, Alex. Your passion, your knowledge—it’s going to shine through. And remember, I’m here for you every step of the way."

As the night wound down, Jordan went to the coat closet and pulled out a hanger with a suit wrapped in plastic. “Let’s try this on real quick. I want to make sure everything is perfect for tomorrow.”

Alex responded, “I still can’t believe you bought me a tailored suit.”

“Hey, every suit off the rack we tried on looked ridiculous on you. You deserve this. Go try it on.”

Alex entered the bedroom, put on the suit, and tied his tie. He returned to the living room. There was a loud gasp from Jordan. Alex smiled at the reaction. Jordan’s face looked mesmerized. He was quiet, with a big dorky grin. 

“How do I look?” Alex asked. He walked down the hallway. He was in a tailored, double-breasted blue pinstripe suit. He wore a white shirt and a green and blue paisley tie to go with it. He had black dress shoes, and he wore his glasses.

"I love how you run around this house naked all the time," Jordan said. “But this look on you is even better than the naked you. Wow, just incredibly fucking wow. I’m speechless. And even though the tie Aunt Lynn bought you when you were twenty is retro, it works.”

Alex laughed and tried hard to do a model’s runway walk through the living room. It didn’t look as cool as he had envisioned. He accidentally stepped on Shadow’s Mr. Bill plush toy, and the catchphrase “Oh nooo…” filled the living room. Shadow ran to get his toy, and Alex and Jordan burst into laughter.

Jordan walked over to the desk in the corner. He returned with a small black box.

“I have something for you for tomorrow,” he said. He opened the box and gave it to Alex. Inside was a pair of handcrafted silver cufflinks. They each looked like miniature German shepherds. Alex took the box and stared at them.

“These are amazing,” Alex said. “Where did you find them?” 

“You know Angela Fitzroy from the clinic?” Jordan asked. “With the miniature poodle named Goliath? She’s a silversmith. I commissioned her to make them for you. She used a picture of Shadow. Look at his front paw.”

Looking closely at the cufflink, Alex noticed the dog’s front paw. It was favoring it just like Shadow does when he walks. Delight washed over him. He reached over and hugged Jordan tightly. “Thank you. Your support, love, this suit, and these cufflinks mean everything to me.”

As they broke apart from the hug, Jordan said, “I wanted Shadow to be in the room with you when you did your presentation. You’re welcome. Now, let’s get that suit off of you for some naked time. You are mine for the next hour.”

The next day, the conference room had a quiet, excited atmosphere. The rest of the board had left after Alex’s presentation, but Jordan, Alex, and Aunt Lynn remained. Aunt Lynn's eyes sparkled with pride and surprise.

"Alex, that was incredible!" she exclaimed, her enthusiasm palpable. "I didn’t know you were planning something so ambitious. You kept this a well-guarded secret."

Alex smiled. "I wanted it to be a fair process, Aunt Lynn. No favoritism. I needed to know that this idea could stand on its own."

Jordan, sitting beside Alex, nodded in agreement. "He wanted to earn it," he said, his voice filled with pride.

Aunt Lynn leaned forward, her hands clasped together on the table. "Well, you certainly made a strong case. The way you spoke about the impact of service dogs was persuasive, and so was your connection with Shadow and your detailed plan.”

Alex let out a small, relieved sigh. “I just hope it was enough to convince the board.”

"I think you've more than convinced them," Aunt Lynn reassured him. "Your proposal was well-researched and financially sound. The idea of partnering with grants and donations was brilliant. I won’t be part of the decision-making, so there is no conflict of interest for the firm."

Jordan reached over, gently squeezing Alex's hand under the table. "You did great, Alex. No matter what happens, I'm proud of you for taking this step."

Aunt Lynn nodded in agreement. "Absolutely. And remember, this is just the beginning. Even if there are challenges ahead, you have the support and resources to make it happen. The firm is always looking for ways to give back to the community. Your program aligns perfectly with that mission."

As they talked, Alex felt a growing sense of hope and possibility. The meeting ended with a sense of accomplishment and optimism. As they left the conference room, Alex felt grateful for the opportunity to share his vision.

"Thank you, both of you," Alex said as they left the law firm. "This means a lot to me."

A few weeks later, Alex was in Dr. Martin's office. He sat across from him, feeling calm and accomplished in a comfortable chair. The session had been insightful, as always. But today felt different.

Dr. Martin sat in his armchair with his tablet. He looked at Alex with genuine pride.

"Alex, as we wrap up today's session, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the tremendous progress you've made,” he said.

A small smile formed on Alex’s lips.

"You've taken your treatment seriously. It's clear in the shifts we've seen in your mindset," Dr. Martin continued. “Your decision to move to Brookings was a significant step. It's been gratifying to see everything falling into place for you. You built and are relying on your strong support network. This is commendable. You’ve surrounded yourself with friends, family, and, of course, Jordan. These relationships have played a crucial role in your healing process."

The mention of Jordan made Alex's smile grow wider.

"Adopting Shadow was another positive step. And let's not forget about your plans for the service dog training academy at the clinic," Dr. Martin said. "It's a forward-thinking and philanthropic endeavor. You're helping yourself and extending that help to others in need. It's a significant achievement, Alex."

As the session drew to a close, Alex stood up. He extended his hand to Dr. Martin, who stood up to shake it.

"Thank you, Dr. Martin. I appreciate everything that you have helped me to discover about myself," Alex said.

Dr. Martin shook his hand firmly. “It's been a privilege working with you, Alex. Do you have any questions?” 

Alex thought momentarily. "No, Doc. I know that when you would praise me for making good decisions in the past, I blew it off. Now, when you say that, I believe it. I’m worthy of the praise because I feel it. Brian was my battle buddy, Doc — when died. It hit me hard, and I’m going to miss that son-of-a-bitch for the rest of my life. But I know now I did everything that I could have. His wife and son are in my life. I’m Uncle Alex to Michael and a dear friend to Amanda. My journey continues.” Alex paused. “I know I will still have panic attacks and nightmares, but they don’t consume me anymore. They’re a part of me, and I’m strong enough to be okay with that. You’ve been such a big help, Doc—finding my way took me a while, but I am better now. Aunt Lynn knew what she was doing when she made me move here."

Alex left the office with a spring in his step, feeling excited about the future. He’s reached a milestone with his treatment, and he knows there are many more milestones to come. He is hopeful about his future sessions and the discoveries that he’ll make about himself.

Later that afternoon, Alex walked into the clinic. He saw Jordan and Aunt Lynn in the conference room with saddened looks on their faces. His heart pounded slightly. The somber expressions on Brenda, Lisa, and Rebecca's faces did little to ease his nerves.

"You should go in—they’ve been waiting for you," Lisa told him, her voice low.

Stepping into the room, Alex saw Aunt Lynn and Jordan sitting at the table. Their faces were solemn and contemplative. Alex steeled himself, preparing for what he feared would be disappointing news.

Aunt Lynn began, "Alex, honey, I'm sorry, but the board has decided about the service dog training academy..."

Alex braced himself for the letdown. His mind raced with thoughts of how he could still make his dream a reality.

Aunt Lynn finished. Her expression suddenly shifted to warmth and pride. "I'm going to miss you while you're gone, learning to be a service dog trainer."

Confusion washed over Alex for a moment before realization dawned. Aunt Lynn and Jordan broke into broad smiles. They mirrored the sudden joy that erupted across Alex's face.

He leaped up, his yell of happiness echoing through the room as he embraced them both. The door burst open. Brenda, Lisa, Emily, Rebecca, and Sean rushed in. Other staff members followed. They filled the room with a chorus of congratulations and cheers.

Aunt Lynn continued talking over the joyful noise. "The board approved everything, Alex. They have approved your entire budget as the program director. It includes construction, setup, training, and hiring a team."

The news was more than Alex could have hoped for. The relief, joy, and excitement were overwhelming.

Alex turned to Lisa. "Lisa, would you be my right hand in this? I’ve seen your leadership and organizational skills. I want you by my side at the academy. Jordan and I discussed it, and he supports it."

Lisa stepped forward and embraced Alex, and Sean joined in. "Yes. Yes. Oh my God! We’re going to have so much fun."

As the celebration continued, Alex looked around at the faces of his colleagues, friends, and family. He felt profound gratitude for their support and belief in him.

As the group dispersed after celebrating, they walked into exam room three together. Jordan wrapped his arm around Alex.

"We did it," Alex said, his voice filled with wonder.

"You did it—I’m just your sexy eye candy with hearing aids that cheers you on," Jordan said, his pride in Alex clear. "The future is bright, Atlas, and we're just starting."

“Did you just call them hearing aids?” Alex said in mild shock.

“Yeah, you helped me to realize that they’re a part of me, just like your PTSD is a part of you. Without either, we may never have met, and we wouldn’t be the men that we are today. We are stronger because of our challenges. They don’t define us. They are us!” Jordan said with confidence. “Now, let’s go home. Time for some celebration sex.” 

They left the conference room together, stepping out into the evening. Their hearts were full of hope, and their minds were buzzing with plans for the academy. The journey ahead would be challenging. But, with the support of their loved ones and the community, they were ready to face it head-on.

Epilogue

3 Months Later

Excited children murmured in the classroom of Brookings Elementary School. Each child's personal hero accompanied them. Michael sat alone at his desk, fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. On it was a picture of his father in military uniform. His father was smiling with a bravery that seemed to reach beyond the fabric.

As Mrs. Carter spoke, Michael's heart thrummed in his chest. "Today, we honor our heroes," she said, her voice a gentle encouragement. "Family, friends, those who've shaped our lives." The classroom filled with tales of everyday bravery, hope, and inspiration. But none felt as heavy as the story nestled in Michael’s heart.

Amanda stood to the side of the classroom, her eyes a silent beacon of support for her son. Michael felt her gaze, which seemed to ease the weight on his shoulders. He wore his father's legacy proudly, but the thought of voicing it to the room filled him with trepidation. He wanted to speak, to tell them all about his dad's courage, but his voice was a trapped bird in his throat.

Then it was his turn. Mrs. Carter's smile was encouraging as she called him.

"Michael, would you like to tell us about your hero?" His new classmates turned expectant faces toward him, and the room seemed to hold its breath.

Michael's feet felt like lead as he stood up. He fixed his eyes on his mother. He gripped the side of his shirt, a silent plea for strength. As he reached the front, the classroom door creaked open, and in that moment, the world shifted.

Alex stepped into the room, the image of valor in his crisp Army dress uniform, a small box in his right hand. The class erupted in gasps and whispers. The sudden hero in their midst was a figure straight from their storybooks.

Michael's fear melted away as he launched himself into Alex's open arms.

"This is my Uncle Alex." Michael's voice rang clear now, his nerves forgotten in the wake of Alex's presence.

Jordan lingered in the doorway. His heart swelled with pride as Alex caught his eye, then turned to the eager faces before him.

"Hi everyone. I served with Michael’s father in Afghanistan,” Alex began. His voice was steady, but his eyes shimmered with the gravity of his memories. “Lieutenant Brian Decker was my battle buddy—he was my brother-in-arms. He was a man who faced fear with laughter. His bravery knew no bounds."

The children listened, enraptured. Alex spoke of Brian's courage, painting the portrait of a hero in the truest sense.

"He saved my life. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for him," Alex continued, the emotion in his voice painting the air with reverence. “Though he made the ultimate sacrifice, his legacy lives on through his incredible son. It lives on through all who had the honor of knowing him."

The classroom fell into silence. Alex stood at the front. He carefully opened the small box he had carried with him. Inside lay a Silver Star medal. Its sheen reflected the solemn faces of the children and their parents. For a moment, everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath.

Alex lifted the medal, its ribbon glinting in the classroom light.

"This," he began, his voice steady but filled with emotion, "is a Silver Star, awarded for valor in the face of the enemy." He paused, looking around at the young, attentive faces. "I received this for the actions I took in a battle, a battle where I was fortunate to come home. But that day, I lost a part of myself too, in the loss of a brave man, husband, and father, Brian Decker."

The room was so quiet you could hear the distant sound of children playing outside.

"Brian was Michael's father," Alex continued. His gaze settled on the young boy, who looked up at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. "Your father was the bravest man I ever knew. I want you to have this medal, Michael, in loving memory of him."

As Alex stepped forward, he gently placed the Silver Star in Michael's small hands. The parents in the room wiped away tears and exchanged looks of deep respect and empathy.

Mrs. Carter, the teacher, stood by her desk. Her hand was over her heart. The children were too young to fully grasp the magnitude of such sacrifice. They were quiet, sensing the significance of the moment.

In the doorway, Jordan watched with a heart full of pride and admiration for Alex. He knew the cost of the memories Alex was sharing and the depth of pain behind his words. Yet, here he was, turning his most painful memory into a legacy of honor for a young boy who had lost so much.

Michael clutched the medal to his chest. Tears streamed down his face.

"Thank you, Uncle Alex," he whispered.

The room erupted into a gentle applause. They applauded not just for Alex, but also for Michael and Brian. They applauded for the sacrifices made. Amanda’s hand found Michael's shoulder, a pillar of strength as tears brimmed in her eyes.

Michael looked up at Alex. "My dad is my hero because he saved my Uncle Alex."

A silence enveloped the room as Michael's words hung in the air. The raw honesty and impact of the young boy's statement overwhelmed Alex. He felt a surge of emotions welling up inside him. His gaze shifted away from Michael, seeking solace in the familiar faces of Amanda and Jordan.

In these shared glances, Alex found validation and emotional healing. Michael's words had inadvertently opened a floodgate of memories and feelings. Understanding and acceptance in their eyes transformed these emotions into something cathartic. Sometimes, the deepest conversations are those that are never spoken aloud.

The room remained quiet. Within that silence, healing took place.

6 Months Later

It had been four months since Alex helped Amanda to move to Brookings. She was grieving, alone, and needed help with Michael. When he asked her to move from Sacramento, she embraced the opportunity. They now rented Alex’s old house near the Cliffside, since he moved in with Jordan. The gentle rhythms of small-town life had enveloped them. Every face was a friend, and every street corner held a new promise.

Amanda’s t-shirt business was flourishing in the nurturing environment. Her quirky, fun designs had become a local sensation. Enthusiastic support greeted the opening of her retail shop in town. The shop's window displayed her latest hit. It was a line of pet t-shirts with sayings that made every passerby chuckle. "Bark if You’re Happy," "Pawsitively Awesome," and "Sniff Happens" were among the favorites. But the bestseller was undoubtedly Shadow's shirt. It had the words "I still live with my parents" emblazoned on it. The statement brought a smile to everyone. They often saw the good-natured German Shepherd trotting around town with his signature limp.

Meanwhile, Michael thrived in his new environment. He came up with the pet t-shirt idea. His bond with Alex had grown strong. The two often appeared together, sharing stories and laughing at their own farts. They also enjoyed hiking in the forests with Sean, Lisa, and Shadow.

Alex had been working tirelessly to open the service dog training academy. Jordan had enjoyed being there to support him when needed. The six weeks Alex spent away from Jordan for his service dog training had been challenging. But their daily conversations had only deepened their connection. The academy was now more than a dream. It was a beacon of hope and support. It was a testament to Alex's vision and dedication to helping others. He had his aunt’s gift for recruiting. Finding talented trainers from around the country and getting them to move to Brookings.

On a beautiful Sunday evening, Aunt Lynn hosted a barbecue at her home. Delicious aromas of grilling food filled the backyard. The sound of laughter and the soft strumming of Sean’s guitar filled the air. Amanda, Michael, Alex, Jordan, Aunt Lynn, Lisa, and Sean gathered around the table. They were a patchwork of family, chosen and bound by love.

Shadow roamed happily among them, wearing his now-famous t-shirt. He was a living symbol of the joy and unity in their midst. As the sun dipped below the horizon, it painted the sky in hues of orange and pink. Aunt Lynn stood, raising her glass of peach tea.

"Here's to family," she began, her voice carrying the weight of her love and pride. "To friends who become family, and to loved ones who, though not with us, are always in our hearts. To new beginnings, to the laughter that fills our home, and to the love that binds us all. Cheers!"

Glasses clinked, and a chorus of “cheers” filled the air. As they all sipped their drinks, the warmth of the moment enveloped them. This wasn't just a gathering. It was a celebration of life. It celebrated the resilience of the human spirit and the beauty when hearts are open and full of love.

The evening continued with shared stories and new memories. It was a night that epitomized the essence of Brookings. The community had welcomed each of them with open arms. It offered a haven where dreams could take root and flourish. The stars twinkled above. They had found something special in this small corner of the world in Aunt Lynn’s back yard. It was a place where they were more than just themselves. They were part of something bigger. They were a family united by love and unwavering support.

12 Months later

Alex

The first light of dawn crept over the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. Alex and Jordan, accompanied by Shadow, took to the beach for their morning run. The ocean was a brilliant canvas of blues and greens. The waves rolled toward the shore. They crested and broke, sending white frothy surf cascading onto the sand. The low tide revealed a wide expanse of wet sand, perfect for their running.

Shadow raced ahead, full of boundless energy. He chased the early morning waves as they lapped gently at the beach. The cool, salty breeze was invigorating, filling their lungs with the fresh promise of a new day. The world around them was waking up, bathed in the glorious light of the sunrise.

As they ran, the rhythm of their footsteps synchronized with the soothing sound of the ocean. Alex and Jordan cherished moments like these the most. The beauty of nature was their backdrop, and they had each other's companionship. They shared a glance.

Falling back a bit while running, Alex marveled at the beauty that he saw before him. Jordan was in the new muscle shirt and running shorts that Alex bought him last week. The saleswoman called the color Nordic, but it looked green to him. This morning's sunrise was spectacular, and the ocean waters were calmer than normal. He could look at this view for the rest of his life and never want anything more.

Suddenly, Alex, let out a small yelp and came to an abrupt stop. He knelt down, clutching his leg with a grimace.

"Cramp," he said through gritted teeth.

Instantly, Jordan stopped and approached Alex. Shadow trotted alongside him, sensing the change in mood.

"Babe, are you okay?" Jordan asked, his face etched with worry. Shadow, ever the loyal companion, came to a gentle stop beside Alex, his head tilting in concern.

Alex, still holding his leg, looked up at Jordan. His expression, a mix of mischief and something deeper, gave a hint that this might be more than just a leg cramp. The early morning sun cast a soft glow on his face, highlighting the playful twinkle in his blue eyes.

Now standing beside him, Jordan began reaching down to examine Alex's leg when he stopped him. Shadow sat close by, his gaze fixed on Alex. He was ready to offer comfort or join in on whatever was about to unfold. The beach was quiet. The world around them paused, waiting for Alex's next move. They stood under the beautiful sunrise.

As Alex knelt beside Jordan, concern etched on Jordan’s face. Alex took a moment to rise on both knees as he kneeled, stopping Jordan's advance. His heart pounded with a mixture of nerves and excitement. He reached out and gently took Jordan's hand, drawing them in. The early morning sun cast a radiant glow around them. It set the perfect stage for the moment.

"Jordan," Alex began, his voice soft but clear against the sound of the waves, "your love has helped me become the man I am today, healing me in ways I never thought possible. I love you so much." He gazed into Jordan's eyes, the depth of love mirrored in his own.

He took a deep breath.

"Jordan, I don’t want to spend another day without knowing that you’ll always be by my side. You’ve brought me back to life in ways I didn’t even think were possible. You’ve taught me what love is, real love.”

As the words hung in the air, Alex reached toward Shadow, who was watching with a dog’s curious intensity. From Shadow's collar, he retrieved a small pouch, hidden there for this moment. Opening it, he revealed a beautiful silver band, simple yet elegant.

"In every step, in every heartbeat, in every breath," Alex read the engraving aloud, his voice trembling with emotion. “Will you marry me, WoofDoc? Will you be the one I get to love for the rest of my life?"

Jordan's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. A universe of emotions swirled within their depths as he gazed at Alex. The world seemed to stand still. The gentle hum of life paused in reverence for this singular, monumental moment. His heart danced to a rhythm of pure joy, each beat echoing Alex's name.

"Oh, Alex," Jordan's voice was a tender whisper.

He reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as they intertwined with Alex's. "Yes. I will marry you! I promise to face a future where we embrace every dream and every challenge together."

As they stood there, the world resumed spinning, and time returned to normal. Jordan fell into Alex's arms and onto the ground. They rolled together as they kissed in the sand. Their laughter mingled with the sound of the waves. Shadow jumped on them, unable to contain his excitement. He added his own joyful barks and playful licks to their faces in celebration.

As they lay there, wrapped in each other's embrace, the waves gently washed up against them. The tides bore witness to their love. The sun continued its ascent, painting the sky in a riot of colors, as if celebrating the union of two hearts that had found their forever in each other.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read Tides of the Heart! I hope Alex and Jordan’s story touched your heart as much as it did mine while writing it. I pour my heart and soul into each word, and your feedback means the world to me.

If you enjoyed the book, I would be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review. Reviews are vital for indie authors like me — they help other readers discover the book, spread the word, and allow us to continue writing the stories we love to share. Whether a few words or a full review, your thoughts have a real impact.

Indie author's resources are limited, and while I strive for perfection, there may still be some typos or errors that slip through the cracks. If you happen to find any, I would be so grateful if you could kindly let me know. Your support means the world to me, and I want to ensure this story shines in its best possible light for all readers.

Thank you for supporting independent authors and for sharing this journey with me. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

With heartfelt thanks,

Dave Henderson

https://www.davehenderson.love